Monday, February 28, 2005

Officially prohibited from using Office Supplies

So I'm a retard.

I was just loading new staples into my stapler. The new row was in correctly, and I was attempting to close it all up. Instead of just banging it shut like normal person, I decided to squeeze it shut between my thumb and forefinger.

With a satisfying click it snapped shut, ejecting a strong steel sliver into the meat of my thumb. Waves of pain shooting through my system, vision blurring from pain, I attempt to slowly remove the offending article. With every tiny motion, searing blots of pain race up my arm. I grit my teeth and yanked it out.

Looking like a vampire bite that slightly missed his mark, two perfect beads of red blood appear and stand as evidence against my total inaptitude.

Now I wear a "flesh toned" fabric bandaid around my left thumb as a reminder to myself to be wary of seemingly innocuous office supplies.

Dating Dynamics

Read Bryan's post called "An Unusually Effective Escape Tactic" before reading this post.

Ahhh, the posturing...

That post on Bryan's blog today made me smile. I haven't been to one of those big Mormon parties where you're goal is to pick people up since....Last October? Yeah, last October.

Picture this:
I had just had a horrible argument with my ex-boyfriend and was heading home a lot earlier on a Friday night than I wanted to be. I remembered that my friend Greg had invited me down to a party in Denver. Out of desperation, I took him up on his offer. It was me, Greg, and the ear doctor. (this was before we started dating)

Anyway, we got to the party and I immediately split from those two. If I had been standing there with them all night I would have totally blocked any kind of potential picking-up that might occur. It would be awkward. Plus, I didn't want anyone there thinking I was "with" either of the, thereby killing any potential for me in the room.

So, I was flying solo. I didn't know ANYONE at the party besides those two guys.

Its hard to be a flagship girl without any background wind beneath your sails, but I did manage to get the hottest guy there to invite me to go to the next party his group was hopping to. I turned him down, took his number, but never ended up calling him.

The ear doctor and I got together 2 weeks later.

Interesting side note: I'm sure that some girls are ALWAYS flagship girls. They are the beautiful beyond belief girls. But, there are some middle of the road girls who are sometimes the flagships, sometimes the background. I fall into this category. It depends who I go out with. I really like being in this position because I get the best of both worlds.

Friday, February 25, 2005

So Excited!

Next Thursday my work is paying for me to go down to Denver and volunteer at the third-annual Girls Exploring Science, Engineering, & Technology event.

I am REALLY stoked about this.

There will be about 800 7th and 8th grade girls all there to hear about different options for working in the science and technology fields.

I feel like the main reason there are so few girls in engineering is because a lot of them aren't exposed to it at all until they are in college. By then they think it is "too hard" for them to do.

It really isn't! And I love sharing that with younger generations.

Amber Alert

This morning as I was getting ready for work the DJs were talking about the nine year old little girl in Florida who was kidnapped out of her bed Wednesday night. I H-A-T-E hearing stories like this.

apparently her grandparents put her to bed Wednesday night, laid out her school clothes for the next day, and opened her window for a nice breeze.

Thursday morning her dad went in to wake her up and her little bed was empty, the clothes untouched, meaning somewhere there is a little brunette girl hidden away in her nightgown.


Anyway, the DJs this morning were talking about how they want to implant GPS chips into their children to locate them if they are snatched.

Caller after caller rang up the station and said that they would jump on the procedure for their children as soon as it was made available.

I've been mulling this over all morning and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

It sucks that we live in a world where so many people are worried about psychos stealing their kids.

It sucks that the only way to feel safe is by implanting a metal chip into a child.

It sucks that this technology, if we start using it, is SO prone to being abused....Just look what someone did to Paris Hilton's Sidekick. If someone can remotely hack into a phone/organizer what do you think they could do to a GPS beacon implanted in some little 5 year old's shoulder.

It really sucks that this poor little girl is in trouble.


In keeping with my new found theme...

Kathy is my best friend. My soulmate. The person who knows and understands me through and through. She's seen me through heartache and disappointment, through the mundane and banal, through the zeniths and conquests.

Kathy is FUNNY. When we sit down together she makes me laugh until my sides hurt. She knows how to crack a joke, send a funny look just at the right time, or make a weird noise.

Kathy is smart. She loves math and would probably love to be a high school math teacher.

Kathy is creative. She knows how to put a room together to make it look really cute. She is a really great stylist and can just tell which outfit is going to look great when put together.

Kathy is anal. The pots and pans have a specific correct way to be cleaned. Her shoes need to be put away in the proper place, don't even think about throwing them in the bottom of the closet. She is methodical in everything from the way she applies her makeup to the way she fixes her hair.

Kathy knows when its ok to be a little bit of a brat. She doesn't make me feel bad when I look at some ensembally challenged soul and I make a catty comment.

Kathy can dance.

Kathy is going to make a great mother. She is caring and supportive of me, and I know she'll be able to do that 100 times better for her new little baby.

Kathy is married to one of the funniest guys I've ever met. He's almost like me, just in male form. ;)

Kathy is talented. This girl opened a Shania Twain concert. Her voice is amazing and gives me chills whenever she uses it. Its not only the technique she uses, but her inflection and the way she conveys what she feels through the music is inspiring.

Kathy is the best fellow doughnut maker in the world.

Even though we haven't lived in the same state since high school, Kathy and I are still close and care immensely for each other.

Guess what

My awesome officemate brought me in a Jamba Juice this morning. Isn't he nice?!?!

Thursday, February 24, 2005


So I've been thinking about things to write about today and I've decided that at the moment, I'm blocked for things to write about myself. Instead I thought I'd write about my best Colorado friend.

Sarah is a pistol. She is bright and tough and in charge. She knows what she wants and how to get it. She is very committed to her studies...More than anyone I have ever met and that is so impressive to me.

Sarah is also real. She'll tell you what she thinks, but still has the ability to listen to your point. She doesn't sugar coat, hide, or wilt under pressure. She rises to it.

Sarah is tough. I've never met a girl who can run up a mountain like this girl. She actually enjoys the feeling of pushing her body to the limits. A good workout is one where she almost dies.

Sarah hates getting in the ocean. She could sit and tan on the beach all day long, but as soon as everyone else wants to go play in the surf she'll wade in tentatively with her arms out vertically so as not to get them wet.

Sarah has the best heart. She thinks of others and genuinely loves the old people we play bingo with. She'd scoop them ice cream all day long if she knew it made their day just a little brighter.

Sarah is learning. She is growing and changing so much right now it is unreal. She is really overcoming a lot of her fears and worries about the future and letting herself go down a path that she never thought she would.

Sarah doesn't flake! This is SO annoying to me and really refreshing to have a friend I can count on...No matter what.

Sarah loves her family. She's one of those girls who has a really healthy relationship with both her mom and dad. She has 4 younger sisters that clearly mean the world to her...Even if they have the occasional conflict.

Sarah is a goof ball. She's most likely to be found jumping like a leprechaun in a parking lot, or laughing with zero volume control.

Sarah is more open about bodily functions that any girl I've ever met....And I think that's funny.

Sarah is a confidant. She can keep a secret. She lets you expose your faults and helps you become better. She is kind and gentle when you need it, but can be strong and pointed when she thinks you're going a bit too far.

Sarah is my friend.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Out on a Limb

"Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps."
-David Lloyd George

Why do people stay in the same career forever? By and large people don't LOVE what they do for a living. It seems to me that people become complacent with their job security and never want to shake things up, even if they're unhappy.

What's so bad about taking a risk?

20 years into his career my dad decided he didn't like what he was doing. He shook things up and decided to start working for himself. It was a lot more demanding and time intensive, but in the end more rewarding.

But it was filled with risk.

Right now it seems to me like I'm standing on a precipice. I could remain on the precipice and sit back, enjoying a fully rewarding life, paid for by my not so riveting employment. I know what the course would be (roughly) and from what I see it really would be great.

If I decide to take the huge leap off the ledge I really don't know what to expect. The unknown looms large and indefinite ahead of me. Who knows where I'll land.

Despite my best efforts...

Monday was a really hard day for me. I got that stupid rejection, I had to pack up my office to move from my beautiful corner office, I didn't plan anything for FHE, my credit card balance was suspiciously high.

Anyway, after FHE I just broke down and told the ear doctor I just needed to go home, take a bath and go to bed because things were just getting a little out of control.

Tuesday morning he left me a note on my front step telling me how great I am and that I can handle everything. He also left a huge rainbow Frisbee and a CD of all the princess Disney songs. It was SO sweet because he was trying to make me smile. (mission accomplished!)

As a thank you for the support I asked if I could make him dinner. I cooked a fabulous meal, lit a million candles, dimmed the lights and played some instrumental Nat King Cole. It was perfect.


I placed a bunch of little candles on a plate so that the wax drippings wouldn't get on the counter. I hadn't planned on them burning down so quickly. Half way through our very romantic meal the ear doctor pointed out (with some alarm) the 2 foot long cascading icicles of wax rolling off my counter and onto the carpet.


I'd tried SO hard to make everything seem effortless and natural and perfect, and, despite my best efforts, I'd messed up.

Oh well, I guess I'll never be a perfect entertainer.

(BTW Luckily I remembered how to get wax out of carpet. Put down a paper towel and iron it up...Works like a charm)

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Why doesn't anyone read anymore?

I was sitting with a group of co-workers and someone mentioned the book he was reading. I was instantly really into the conversation. Discussing books is probably in the top three of most interesting topics to me. I love to know what books really influenced people. I think you can tell a lot about someone from the books they choose to keep on their shelves.

I started asking the group in general if they'd read this book or if they'd read that book. They all just gave me blank stares and actually made me feel a little uncomfortable. Their reactions to me made it seem they felt me to be condescending and uppity. That wasn't my intention at all, but it made me wonder, doesn't anyone read anymore?

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them." -Mark Twain

Monday, February 21, 2005

Things I learned from my mom

Both Greek Tragedy and Girl from Florida inspired me this morning so....

1. Never come to a dinner party empty handed
2. When helping someone set up for a party, don't offer opinion unless it is asked for.
3. Always send a thankyou card that is well written and heartfelt. Always include details.
4. The best thing you can do in the kitchen is dance.
5. Love old musicals and old black and white movies.
6. It's important to be nice to everyone, even if you have a really clever insult.
7. Having Christmas decorations is necessary.
8. Always keep your girlfriends close.
9. Don't ever think you can't do something just because you are a girl.
10. How to have an excellent job interview.
11. Always ask a question at the end of an interview when they ask if you have any.
12. The best places for 10 black olives are the end of each finger.
13. Always edit your papers more than once.
14. Be wary of credit cards.
15. Having the right outfit can make all the difference.
16. Wearing pastel colors makes me look sick.
17. Love to read.
18. Be nice to your sister.
19. NEVER forget the mashed potatoes.
20. If you mess up on turkey soup once and let the carcass sit too long resulting in little floating bones, you will never live down the appellation "bone soup."
21. I am pretty.
22. And funny.
23. Don't take your purse to the mall and leave it in the car. That's just what thieves look for.
24. Be true to yourself and your values.
25. Have a sense of humor.
26. Desserts with some kind of alcohol in them usually taste pretty darn good.
27. If you've made plans of some kind, you must follow through. Flaking is not an option.
28. Its just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.
29. If it's ugly, cover it up.
30. Treat your best friend like your sister...Even tell you kids to call her their aunt.
31. Be thankful your life is so much easier.
32. Always paint the walls...White is SO boring.
33. Pictures should be hung at eye level or a little lower. Never higher.
34. Learn how to sew, even if the only thing you can make is a kid's Halloween costume.
35. Only rip a tiny hole in the Hot Tamales box so that you eat them slow enough to avoid getting sick.
36. Be patient with your husband.
37. Keep a clean house.
38. Everyone is different, and that is great.
39. Give your girls dolls as presents, but also telescopes, microscopes, and science kits.
40. If you're sick, eat sprite and saltines.
41. Always clean the mascara off your face every night.
42. If someone compliments an outfit, wear it often.
43. Having a lot of belts is a good thing.
44. How to tie a quilt.
45. Keep in touch with my grandmas.
46. How to tell a good joke. Timing is everything.
47. You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose.
48. Learn to be a good listener.
49. Laugh whenever you can.
50. Don't swear....Unless you are REALLY pissed.
51. Be real.
52. Be ambitious.
53. Don't judge.
54. Forgive and forget.
55. Give people the benefit of the doubt whenever you can.
56. You can never have enough work clothes.
57. If you find a pair of pants you like, buy some in every color.
58. When you're selling girl scout cookies don't ask, "do you want to buy some" but rather, "how many boxes do you want?"
59. Going out to eat is heaven.
60. The best time to go to the movies is Saturday afternoon.
61. Never get too old to not enjoy a Disney movie.
62. Listen to books on tape during a road trip.
63. Love flowers, learn their names and platn them in your garden.
64. Wake up and go to bed early.
65. Love your pets.
66. Teach others your beliefs...If they're interested.
67. Find a stylist and always have a cute haircut.
68. Green peppers are nasty.
69. Being competitive is good.
70. Being OVERLY competitive isn't.
71. I can do anything I want.
72. Unconditional love.
73. That you really can do everything.
74. How to have a hero.
75. And a best friend.

Stupid F-ing Rejection

My overconfident self image was just deflated.

Completely crushed. Flat. Annihilated. Decimated. Pulverized into a million little flecks of gray and jagged dust.

I just got a letter from the Dean of Admissions at Princeton and they don't want me.

They sent me a really nice, if a bit formulatic, mass email to inform me that somehow I haven't managed to stack up to their standards. They couldn't even send me a real letter to let me know that I'm not smart enough for them. They couldn't even send me a real email address to respond to to find out exactly what area I was lacking in. Ugh.

Good thing I didn't want to go there anyway.

They only have one building for their whole college of engineering, each wing being for the different departments.

Why would I want to go to their sub-par tiny little pretentious university anyway.

They suck.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Bon Voyage buddies

I'm off to Pennsylvania tomorrow morning for my first taste of East Coast livin. I'll be visiting at Penn State until Sunday afternoon, checking out their program, hanging out with Britt, and just having a pretty pleasant time. Later!

Grad School Update

I received another offer today, so that makes my 50% done. I've heard from 3, not heard from 3. The bummer is that I've heard from the 3 that I was pretty sure I'd be accepted to. I hate the waiting. It's so hard.

The fine educational establishment of Colorado University at Boulder has offered me $1.5K a month salary to dedicate my time and efforts to furthering the research at their institution. This is the lowest offer for me (money-wise) but comes with a bunch of really attractive perks.

Pros of CU over every other school:
1) I don't have to move across the country. I can stay where I'm at, have my same friends, and not need to leave good ole Boulder.
2) I can probably work part time at my job here, thus staying an employee, making some money on the side, and keeping the door open for after I'm done with school.
3) I can ski again next winter. And not fall and bust up my thumb next time.
4) The ear doctor is here and I wouldn't have to worry about that in the mix of everything else.
5) It's closer to my family than anywhere else...Except maybe Stanford, I don't know about that.
6) I wouldn't get a snobby East Coast attitude, or strange Texas pride. ;)

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Something fun

So I hardly EVER post links to things here because I think that is really distracting, but Colin found this thing this afternoon and I've been playing with it constantly. Just thought I'd share for all you guys.

Baby Names


Does anyone have any ideas how to change the color of my sidebar at the bottom? I don't know why it didn't change with the rest of the sidebar background. I can't figure it out.

Is lying always bad?

I read something interesting on Bryan's blog today. He and Derek were tossing around this idea and I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Situation 1:
You tell a lie and hurt someone in the process. This could be by gossipping, backbiting, or just plain old competition. I'm sure everyone would agree that this is bad.

Situation 2:
You tell a lie to get ahead in some way. You get personal gain, and no one is hurt in the process. As an example of this one I'll share a story about one of my co-workers. Sometimes when I'd be kickin it in his office talking, one of his superiors would walk in and ask him if he'd started writing a report/doing and analysis/checking with another team member. Almost everytime he'd answer in the affirmative, making him look like a really good employee. I was always so impressed by how on top of everything he seemed to be, and once complimented him on this after his boss had left. He turned to me and laughed it off saying he hadn't even started and wouldn't do so for a week or two. He looked good to his boss, but in my eyes I couldn't trust the guy at all, or anything he said to me. This to me is bad...this lie means you have no integrity and your word means nothing.

So now the question is what if you lie, gain from it, don't hurt anyone in the process and no one finds out? Well, I guess this boils down to a question of conscience. And a question of nature vs nurture. I'll let you stew on that one.

Situation 3:
You tell a lie to spare someone's feelings. This is gray area for me. This is a situation where the "end justifies the means" but makes me wonder...does it really? Sure, you've made someone feel better, but isn't thats a false sense of security you've instilled? It isn't reality and it isn't how you really feel. If we are to be guided by the strict rules of complete honesty...where even omission, misdirection, and half truths are considered to be lying shouldn't we tell it how it really is? Does sugar coating things just end up making things worse when the outer shell wears away and people are shocked to find the sour core of truth?

Situation 4:
You tell a lie because you don't like the truth. This is the one that I've fallen into the most. I don't want people to know my faults. I don't want them to see my short comings, failures or frailties, so I'll tell a half truth to present a slightly different impression of myself. This probably isn't the best, because it isn't the truth, but is it really bad?

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

I was secretly hoping someone would ask me to do this...

1. Total amount of music files on your computer:
1,003. Because I can't download anything off the internet, these are only from loading my CD collection onto my work computer.

2. The last CD you bought was:
"Careless Love" by Madeline Peryoux. If you like old school jazz, you'll love her. She reminds me of Ella Fitzgerald. Amazing.

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
"The World at Large" by Modest Mouse. I'm not really into the band, but a cool co-worker said he liked the song, so I gave it a whirl.

4. Write down 5 songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
"Pennies from Heaven" by Billie Holiday. This song reminds me to have a positive outlook. When something bad happens, there is probably something good that goes along with it. There's always a silver lining. (Wow, that just made me sound like the biggest Polyanna ever)

"Don't let me by lonely tonight" by James Taylor. This song is depressing, and a little unhealthy, but everyone gets down at times. When I was my loneliest and saddest, this song helped me wallow in my broken heart. It helped me because it expressed exactly how I felt. It was cathartic.

"That's what friends are for" by Dionne Warwick. I know, I know, you are all thinking I am a loser right now. When I moved from Seattle to Spokane the summer between 7th and 8th grade I was so upset that I had lost all of my friends. This song came on the radio and I just SOBBED. Since then it has become my secret theme song. Having strong and real friendships in my life is VITAL and I always strive to be a great friend.

"64" by the Beatles. This is my family song. Whenever we'd drive somewhere we'd always end up singing it together in the car. It reminds me of my dad...The best man alive.

"Get it on tonight" by Montell Jordan. I love to dance and this one has the best beat. It makes me want to shake my skinny, flat, white booty like the inner ghetto superstar that I am.

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to? (3 persons) and why?

I want Anth to do this because she is a blogging slacker, with great taste in music. Plus, I want to know what that Robbie Williams song was called that we used to dance around the house to.

I also want The Magster to take it because I'm putting together the music for her wedding reception and I want to make sure I get her favorites on there.

Lastly, I want Britt to do this because she's a great blogger and I really don't know anything about her taste in music.

Mystery Solved!

One of my favorite candies has always been those little sugar buttons that are stuck on a long strip of paper. My sister and I would always get them when we went to the candy store, and finish eating them by the time we were home.

The only crappy thing about these candies is that you eat almost as much paper as candy.

Well, my friends, I have solved that problem.

If you lick the back of the paper (the opposite side of the buttons) and let it sit for a minute on your desk, your saliva will loosen the bottom layer of candy from the paper and you can easily scoop them off.

What a glorious realization!

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentines Day

I want to wish everyone a happy valentines day today...Even if you don't have someone to share it with...Even if you're special "sweetie" is miles and miles away. Valentines day is still cool because it is the one year we dedicate to caring about someone else.

I've always received a gift for Valentines. My parents really like the holiday, and my dad always gets my sister and I something special, just from him. Other than family gifts, and little elementary school cards there have been three Valentineses when I've received a gift from someone special.

The first was 3 years ago from Derek. We hadn't begun dating yet, so I was shocked to find a Krispy Kreme box on my front door step Junior year. At that time I was really going through a doughnut phase and was thrilled. As I bent over to pick it up, I had a feeling there was foul play going on. Instead of the drippingly sweet odor that should have been emanating from the rectangular, green stripped confection box there was a pungent STANK.

I opened the box and saw it was full of garbage. I was a little confused until I remembered telling Derek about a prank I had pulled the year before by filling a Krispy Kreme box with rocks and leaving it for a friend to find. I immediately knew it was from him and a huge smile spread across my face.

I dumped out the trash, and found a little awkwardly cut red heart with a few simple lines written on it. It said, "Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth." That was a line from a Jewel the song that he always had me play for him on the guitar. Under the heart there was a treasure map showing me where an actual box of doughnuts was. I ran out and found the real box, sat in the grass in my front yard and devoured three on the spot.

My second "real" Valentines was last year. With Eric.

He had to work until midnight on the actual Valentines, so we decided to celebrate the night before. All of our friends had gone on a camping trip down to Durango, so we were the only two left in town.

He had my roommate open the house and he left a beautiful bouquet of stargazer lilies and roses in my bedroom. When I came home I was floored and called him right away. He came over to pick me up for our date and gave me a gift. It was a white leather Nixon watch that I still wear daily. We went out to dinner and came home. The next morning we went to IHOP and he ate a million of the bottomless pancakes. After IHOP we were walking across the parking lot to Costco (I was going to buy my roommates flowers). As we were walking I leaned in close to him and, completely without thinking, I muttered, "you smell just like Derek."

Talk about the WRONG thing to tell your new boyfriend that is an INSANELY jealous person. I ruined that Valentines day.

This is my third Valentines day and I am so thrilled to be sharing it with the ear doctor. Friday night he took me to the symphony and out to a fancy dinner at the Denver chop house. Today he had my favorite flowers delivered to me at work. It means SO much to me that he does things that he knows I love. He's the best.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Go Longhorns!

I just got off the phone with a professor from UT Austin and the convo was GREAT! He was funny and nice, which is rare in engineering. He has research that, while doesn't sound riveting at first, might actually be pretty cool. He also said I wouldn't have to be a TA, he'd give me an $8K fellowship plus a $1.5K assistantship per semester which means I wouldn't have to sell my car. Also he said Austin only has 60 cloudy days a year. Plus, they have a great football team, so games would be AWESOME. Plus I arranged it so that I can be down there on a visit and go to my friend's wedding. All in all I am a really big fan of UT right now.
Last night the ear doctor and I went out swing dancing after institute (bible study). Can I just tell you how happy it makes me that he is such a great dancer!!!! I love dancing so much and it is awesome that he is even better at it than I am.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005


I had some extra time at work and found this blog.

It had a long list entitled "How to Love a Girl." It made me think of the ear doctor and I thought I'd share my thoughts with you (him). Next to each way suggested on the list of "How to love a girl" I've listed in parenthesis how he fulfills it. So here goes:

Tell her you think she's cool (He does this all the time)
Tell her why you think she's so smart (He's mentioned that he thinks I'm a better student that he is just because of the stories I've told him)
Tell her she's beautiful (Framed Note)
Tell her she's gorgeous (First email he ever sent me)
Smell her hair (Asked me why I smelled so good the other day)
Talk to her in movie theaters (this is all we ever do)
Tell her she's perfect (He doesn't do this, but I like that. It feels real)
Pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the river; she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it. (He play fights with me all the time and I do like it)
Hold her hand and skip (In public, at the mall)
Hold her hand and run (I don't like to run)
Just hold her hand (always does)
Pick flowers from other people's gardens and give them to her (We haven't been dating when the flowers are in bloom yet)
Tell her she looks pretty (everytime I dress up to go out)
Let her pay for stuff if she wants to but pay most of the time (he is PERFECT at this)
Introduce her to your friends as "that girl you talk about ALL the time." (Hasn't done this)
Sit in the park and talk to her (It's been too cold)
Take her to the library, and playgrounds, and train stations (I don't think there is a train station around)
Tell her dirty jokes (he's too good for that)
Tell her stupid jokes (check)
Write poems about her (I don't think he's much of a creative writer...although I could be wrong)
Just walk around with her (always)
Throw pebbles at her window at night (snowballs)
When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her (I think I'd poke him in the eye if he did this)
Take her to shows of bands she's never heard of (not yet)
Hold her hand when she's sleeping (Yep)
Let her fall asleep in your arms (more than he'd like to)
Call her (we're all about text messaging)
Call her back if she calls you (always)
Sing to her, no matter how bad you are (Does car singing count?)
Carve your names into a tree (This pisses me off so I'd never want him to do it)
Get her mad, then kiss her (Again, I don't know how well that would go over)
Tell her she's The Best Thing That Has Ever Happened To You (almost a direct quote)
Refer to her as "love" often (cheesy...he calls me beautiful sometimes)
Give her piggy-back rides (or bull rides)
Whenever she wants to kiss you or hug you - when you guys are standing up - pick her up so she can (I'm tall enough, so he doesn't have to)
Give her space if she needs it (he's working on it)
Push her on swings (he would if there were any swings around)
Make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones (hasn't done this yet but it's only a matter of time)
Tell her she's funny. And weird. And silly. (too often to count)
Lend her your cds (He has an ipod and I don't so this doesn't really work...but I bet he would.)
Use nerdy pick-up lines on her (He's all about being dorky)
ENCOURAGE HER AND HER DREAMS (Does an amazing job of supporting me with my grad school apps, even though he doesn't want me to go)
Hold her until she gets uncomfortable (He's the best at this)
Make sure she knows you love her. No matter what (No doubt in my mind)
When she can't sleep, spoon and tell her a story (I can't ever not sleep)
Read what she writes (He checks this blog daily)
Write letters to her (they're more like notes)
If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour train trip (I'm sure he'd do this...he'd even give up going camping with the boyz for me)
Watch her fav girly movie with her, as many times as she wants to see it. With her in your lap (Anne of Green Gables anyone?)
Take her to fun shops, and let her take you to some (we haven't been shopping together because I'm poor and shopping without buying anything depresses me)
Try to play guitar, just for her, even if you are horrible (he plays the piano instead)
Listen to all the bands she mentions (Incubus)
Don't tell her that her favorite bands suck (he's never done this)
When she's sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if she's not saying anything (check)
Buy her ice cream (He got my favorite when I went out to meet his folks)
Look into her eyes (my favorite)
Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast (we are two dancin fools)
Kiss her in the rain (does the snow count?)
When you fall in love with her, tell her (check)

My ode to Tom Brady

Alright, so some background is needed on this one.

My dad coached football. He has ALWAYS coached football. When we were really little he coached little league and my sister and I went to little league cheerleading. We got a little older and he started coaching semi-pro ball. Football and my dad go hand in hand.

When I watch a game I watch it. I don't go for the show, I go to see the game. Knowing what is going on during a game is important to me. Last year I went to a WSU/CU game and for the first time in my life my dad asked me what I thought about the game, and took my response seriously. I'm not one of those girls who doesn't "get" what's going on...I know the game as well as anyone who hasn't actually played it can.

I think my dad is pretty much perfect, and therefore want to end up with a guy pretty similar. Consequently, one of my requirements for guys I date is an interest in football. He has to be able to talk about the game intelligently. The other thing I really need in a guy is someone who is well read and smart. These two traits don't usually come in the same package, which is why I'm so happy to have found the ear doctor possessed of both.

Back to the subject of this post...Recently the spark of passion has yet again been sparked by the Patriot's QB Tom Brady. Man do I have a crush on that guy! So calm and steady under pressure. Great arm. After the superbowl I heard him talk and he doesn't sound like a complete meathead, so I'm hooked. Tiger Woods, step aside. My sports celebrity crush du jour is none other than the illustrious Mr. Tom Brady.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005


Have intense, eye-splitting, nausea inducing, room spinning, computer screen monitor repelling headache right now. Going home to bed immediately.

Will post something lovely tomorrow.

Monday, February 07, 2005

I'm Leary

Usually I'm pretty good at handling change. I can roll with the punches with the best of them. If something doesn't go my way, I'm annoyed, but I can adapt.

Something has recently come to my attention that is testing my malleability.

They've remade Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

This may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it is to me. As a little girl I loved that movie and my appreciation for it has grown since I've matured. Now I am pleasantly creeped out by the slightly deranged gleam in Gene Wilder's eyes. I used to just be scared by the tunnel trip on the "Wonkatania" and now I am left to wonder who thought those images would be alright to show to children.

So now I wonder....Can Johnny Depp really do a good job in the leading roll? Who are they going to get to play the 4 grandparents that all sleep in the same bed? Will they use midgets or CGI effects? Will the integrity of the story be maintained?

Quite the conundrum

Friday, February 04, 2005

First time Pilot

I left work in euphoria. It was 3 pm, sunny, warm and beautiful...The perfect Colorado day. I peeled out of my work parking lot and made my way out of town. My destination? The Jeffco airport.

I met up with Doug and we went to his hangar. He pulled open the huge sliding metal doors and I was introduced to the machine that would be flying me 14,000 feet above sea level. It was the size of a tuna can.

Honestly, I think it was about as tall as I am.

For a moment I was a little nervous. The previous comment that my mom made about being careful rang through my mind. She warned, "be careful up there. My uncle died in a small plane crash. Call me as soon as you are back on the ground." Jeez, thanks a lot mom.

I pushed my nerves aside and climbed in the cockpit.

Doug gave me a short run down of all the switches and dials and told me to put on the huge headphones. I was an obedient co-pilot and did everything he said. Visions on Maverick and Goose started passing through my mind, and Highway to the Danger Zone running through my ears as I lowered the microphone to my lips.

We taxied to the runway and took off.

It was amazing. Totally different from any other flying I've ever done. I could feel the roll, pitch and yaw of the plane like I never had in a commercial jet.

As we gained altitude we made wide looping circles over the city of Boulder. I could look down and see all the familiar details of town, but looking from above completely changed my perspective. I saw CU campus, my work building, Pearl Street and tried to make out Colin's house.

When we were high enough we flew over Corona Pass.

Oh. my. gosh.

The jagged ridges and rocky precipice shot out at us. The snow-capped majestic hills that have stood for centuries were no obstacles for us as we dipped and whirred past them at over 100 mph. I was awe struck and had no words to describe what I was seeing other than beautiful, which felt so incredibly inadequate.

I took the controls and flew the plane. I made wide turns, left and right, and made the plane climb to the legal limit of a small plane without oxygen.

We flew over Eldora, Winter Park, KeyStone and Breckenridge. Down into an alpine valley that highway 285 runs through. We did "touch and gos" on a little dirt road. We flew down past Pikes Peak. We watched the colors of the light change with sunset and I was amazed by the real "purple mountain majesty" that I saw. After night fell we flew up over Colorado springs and over the city of Denver from the south. There were so many lights I was dumbfounded.

As we prepared to land the plane Doug told me all about how to line up with the runway, how to raise the flaps, how to adjust the locator dial. It was awesome.

The total trip took us 2 hours and we flew 270 miles. If you ever have the chance to go on a trip like this, I highly recommend it.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

100 things revisited

I did this a while ago. I read through it and was surprised by things that have already changed. I believe that people are always changing and learning and growing. I'm doing this again so that I can look back in 3 months and again be surprised by how much has changed.

1. I'm beginning to really like the routine of my work.
2. I've weaned myself off Pepsi almost entirely. (I still slip and have one every now and then)
3. I just sprained my UCL (skiiers thumb) and haven't been skiing since Jan 9.
4. This KILLS me.
5. I live alone. I used to be afraid that I would get really lonely if I lived alone, but every day I like it more.
6. I don't use my heat. Too expensive.
7. As a result, I sleep in long underwear and a hat. Everynight it reminds me of "The Night Before Christmas"
8. I miss my old friends from college. A. Lot.
9. I love the friends I've made in Colorado.
10. I'll be sad when I/they leave.
11. Today I'm going flying after work over the mountains.
12. I really like to go out to eat. Especially with the ear doctor.
13. I'm stressed out about my sister's bridesmaid dresses. I don't understand why it is such a big deal.
14. I've always liked impressing people.
15. I want the man I marry to be amazed every day of his life that he ended up with me.
16. I want to be amazed every day of my married life that I am with such an amazing person as my husband.
17. I never want to loose touch with Kathy, Brooke, or Sarah.
18. I check my blog 8 times a day to see if anyone has commented.
19. I once had a mouse for a pet.
20. I named him Gus Gus.
21. My sister killed it.
22. We buried it under a rose bush and called the rose bush Gus Gus.
23. My dad is a huge man and ends his phone calls by saying "Bye Bye" and I think that is SO cute.
24. I'm addicted to Gilmore Girls
25. For the first time in my life I'm not in the middle of a book.
26. I love shopping, but am trying to learn control.
27. I think it is vital to have close girlfriends.
28. I secretly wish I was good at sports.
29. I wish I played my violin more frequently.
30. Playing my violin in front of people scares me and always makes me feel inadequate.
31. I think blogs are good for society.
32. Right now my officemate is listening to a basketball game.
33. I love living in Colorado.
34. I love avocados.
35. Sometimes I crave meat.
36. I have a real problem with over eating. If something is there I'll eat it. This is why I have little to no food in my house.
37. I don't have cable and I miss it.
38. I'm not that political.
39. I'm going to the Madeline Peryoux concert on Saturday and I'm really excited about it.
40. Sometimes I'm afraid I've lost my academic drive and that worries me for grad school.
41. Sometimes I doubt if I should go back to school.
42. I really miss my aunt Sandy.
43. I love photos. Taking them, organizing them, showing them, telling their stories, everything.
44. I want to take a photography class.
45. I want to take a cooking class.
46. I love baking desserts, but I don't like making meals.
47. One of the most important things to me in a relationship is the ability to forgive.
48. Laughter is a close second.
49. I still care about all my exboyfriends.
50. And hope they're happy.
51. I like plain lays and ruffles.
52. I don't like salt and vinegar chips.
53. I like cottage cheese, but not applesauce.
54. I'm always torn between a Twix and Kit Kat
55. I miss my parents a lot.
56. I'm realizing how long this list is.
57. My favorite words are plethora and onomatopoeia.
58. Sometimes I think I'd make a really good high school math or English teacher.
59. I just got invited to a music night/jam session with some co-workers and I'm freaked out.
60. I want my kids to learn to play instruments.
61. I think birthdays are really important and have almost everyone I know's big day logged in my work computer Outlook Calendar.
62. I've never been drunk, high, or smoked a cigarette.
63. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to admit I'm such a "Molly."
64. I really want an orange kitten and since I'm moving in the near future, I might get one.
65. My dad is the greatest.
66. I really like lists.
67. I think about my finances constantly.
68. I think being responsible is important and have always been so.
69. Once I lived in the basement of an old house and never did the dishes. It was gross.
70. I just got my fingerprints taken so now that "life of crime" option becomes a whole lot harder.
71. I've never stolen anything.
72. I can't go into the bathroom in the dark. Too scary.
73. I'm so excited for Sarah's wedding and I know it will all work out alright.
74. Feeling like I have direction is very important to me.
75. I'd rather have a steak than a salad.
76. I hate it when Mexican restaurants put that nasty shredded lettuce on my plate. Gross.
77. I love eating peas and carrots straight out of the garden.
78. I love planting flowers, especially petunias with my mom.
79. I love going to the movies in the afternoon.
80. I like the sticks from fun dip better than the powder.
81. I've never had surgery.
82. I worry about my dad's health.
83. I really like to wear green because I always get compliments.
84. Sometimes I struggle with my self image.
85. I love it when the ear doctor says I'm pretty.
86. I like watching movies with the actor's commentary.
87. I want to grow up to be just like my mom.
88. I want to drive a mini cooper.
89. I wish I saw more of Kathy and her little pregnant self while she is going through this.
90. I wish I could go on a trip with Brooke.
91. I love Christmas and can't wait for it to come around again.
92. I wish I got more Christmas cards.
93. I hate networking.
94. I hate talking to people if I don't feel like there is a genuine connection.
95. My work day is almost over.
96. I thought I was going to have a migraine today because my hands were numb when I woke up. Luckily, it was just that I'd slept funny.
97. Sometimes I wish I could lighten up more.
98. I'm crazy about the ear doctor.
99. My little sister is my role model.
100. I wish I had more shoes.


What do they call it when all the stars align and everything in your life seems to be going perfectly? When it's sunny and clear out and you just can't help but have that "I'm a total sucker" grin on your face all day long? Whatever it is, that's what I've got.

I just have this perfect sense of calm and content right now for everything and everyone. These days are rare and precious and I just wanted to document it.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

How are you today?

I came in late to work today.

Luckily, my officemate was even later.

The first words out of my mouth were, "how are you today?"

I don't know why I asked it. It was blatantly obvious that he wasn't fact I was pretty sure I knew exactly how he was judging from the fact that he was late, in a hurry, and slammed his bag on the floor.

His response, "Fine, how about you?"

"Fine" I replied without even turning my head to look at him.

It got me thinking about why on earth we ask each other this every day, at every meeting, and in almost every situation. It is so over used and banal. If someone ever actually gave me a real response to that question I think I'd be floored.

What if, in response to my officemate, I'd told the truth? It would have gone a little something like this:

"Well, (officemate), I'm feeling a little weirded out by the strange dream that I had just before waking up. I feel a little out of control because I no longer have a roommate and I'm paying way too much money to live alone in a 3 bedroom condo. I feel completely secure in my relationship with the ear doctor. I feel nervous about the huge choices I'm going to have to make in the next couple of months regarding grad school. I feel rejuvenated about my calling as FHE planner because I have some new and awesome people to help me out. I feel mischievous thinking back about what the ear doctor and I filled our evening with last night."

He would have looked at me and said, "oh"

Tuesday, February 01, 2005


Dating is a funny thing. You spend 3-4 months completely wrapped up in someone else. You investigate their inner workings. You find out everything you can about them from their favorite candy bar to the way they were affected by their parent's diagnosed cancer. You are granted access to the secret parts of their heart where hardly anyone has ever been before. They trust you with everything and you are held accountable for that responsibility.

conversely, you open your soul up to them.

My first real love didn't happen until I was a junior in college. He was amazing. He taught me how to let go of my insecurities. He showed me the benefits of genuinely caring for everyone. He demonstrated through his guileless actions that being nice is really the most important of qualities. I liked who I was around him. I told him things I'd never told anyone before. I loved him. He also broke my heart.

The second person I loved took me by complete surprised. He was young and confused. I totally opened up my soft underbelly to him and, for a time, he was amazing. He was there to help me through my aunt's death. He was there to show me to lighten up and loosen my perpetual serious/planner side. He broke my heart, but ended up teaching me a lot more about myself than I ever thought I could learn.

I find one common thing between these two relationships very interesting.

The relationship I have with them now. I know them both so well, yet I hardly ever have contact with either. I'm friendly with both, but there is no deep connection anymore. It just seems to me so strange to have so much history with someone...To know all their secrets...To have them know all my secrets and to interact like casual acquaintances. It boggles my mind.