Friday, April 29, 2005

Freakin Colorado

When you picture in your mind a beautiful spring day late in April what do you see? Sunny skies, blooming lilacs, warm breezes? Me to.

This morning I woke up to this:

Yes, what you're looking at is snow. This picture really doesn't show how much we got.

My car was buried in 6-8 inches of snow this morning. Instead of getting up and getting to work at 7 like I had planned, I waited until 9 in the hopes that the sun would come up and melt all the nasty white snow away so I wouldn't have to scrape my windows.

No such luck.

At 9 there was just as much snow and now I was late to work.

Just to make my day even better, my UGG boots decided to spring a leak and let in dampness. Great, a wet spot on my right sock. Glorious.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Is it dumb of me that I don't get why it's called book "memed"?

My favorite male blogger has asked me to do this and since I really have nothing better to do before my weekly group meeting starts I thought I'd let you all in on my personal literary life.

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
  • Well, since in that book they're burning all the books and erasing the past it really wouldn't matter which book I was. They all get burnt up because 451 degrees F is the temperature that paper burns at.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

  • Sydney Carton from Tale of Two Cities. He starts out as such a jerk, but by the end is the one of the most Nobel characters in literature.

This last book you bought is....

  • Falling Leaves by Adeline Mah Yen.

What are you currently reading?

  • The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elizabeth Robinson
  • Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirsig
  • David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
  • Falling Leaves by Adeline Mah Yen

Five Books you would take to a deserted island:

  1. Lord of the Flies....I've never read it but I think it would be fitting.
  2. The complete works of Edgar Allen I could see that things could always get worse.
  3. Atlas that I could realize that being away from the rest of society might just be a good thing.
  4. Tale of Two's my favorite and I could read it over and over.
  5. My scriptures....I'm a goodie two shoes through and through.

Who are you going to pass this stick to? and why?

  1. Brittany because she reads more than anyone else I know.
  2. Anth because she only posts if she has an assigned topic.
  3. Bryan because he likes off the way theories.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Finals Stress

I'm stressed out about finals and I'm not even taking any.

Sarah and the ear doctor are both studying like crazed beasts and their levels of tension are rubbing off on me. They are making me remember the scary, hard parts of school and that is making me nervous to start in the fall.

Finals week at school was always a blur, especially the one right before the beginning of summer.

I remember my freshman year a bunch of my friends were all sitting around outside our dorms after we'd finished our tests, basking in the sun and laziness of nothing further required for the next 3 months.

I remember laying there, on a spread out blanket, the heat of the Utah April sun rapidly turning my flesh to a searing red hue and clearing my mind of everything. I languidly stretched my hand to reach for my cold 7-11 cherry slurpee and realized that at that moment I was completely fulfilled.

My friend approached us, still ensnared by the evil clutches of her Jansport shackles. She had just finished her last final. As she came into sight, she threw her restrictive backpack of burden to the grassy knoll, broke her dull stubb of a yellow number two pencil, and throwing it in the air, fell to her knees and took her first breath of freedom.

It was a moment I'll never forget.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

New Book

I was at the airport last night waiting to fly away from the mountain of sadness that has enveloped my family. Fly back to my happy world where my best friend is getting married to the most amazing guy possible. Fly back to my wonderful supportive, thoughtful boyfriend. Fly back to my job where people value my work and my opinion. Back to my life.

I finished the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time (pretty fun little read) and I needed something to draw my thoughts away from the depressing alley to which it has been prone the last few days.

I picked up Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah.

It is riveting. And revolting. I'm only 1/4 of the way in but so far parts have made me so upset I felt sick to my stomach. Any book that draws me in enough to elicit a physical reaction is very well written.

I suggest it to anyone who wants a really great, modern read.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I'm at a loss

This kind of things only happens to other people. Distant people whose faces you see on TV in the throws of despair. You watch them while you eat your dinner on the couch and think, "well, isn't that heartbreaking." Then, you switch off the TV and go to bed.

Yesterday my cousin's little four year old daughter died.

She was playing with her sister and somehow fell out of a two story window onto a slab of cement below.

The little girl that I last saw at Thanksgiving, who decided to decorate my ears and hair with Christmas ornaments, won't be around to do it next year.

My entire family is shocked and devastated by the news.

Jentel was the cutest little girl imaginable. She had long pretty blonde hair and strikingly big eyes.

They've decided to donate all her organs, which I think is just so moving. My cousin and his wife are in the middle of one of the hardest times they will ever experience and they are still able to see past themselves and give someone else's child a second chance at life. I am so amazed and inspired.

I guess now my Aunt Sandy will have someone to take care of.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Final choice

I've decided to stay here and go to CU Boulder for grad school. While I regret having to turn down Stanford (again) I just really think that this is the place I'm supposed to be. The program here is pretty great, with some really interesting looking research. So that's that. The choice is made. Gloria!

Stuff I want to know about people on my sidebar

To "the narrator" at project mayhem:
Why do you stay in Utah valley when you seem to be so bothered by the other people there? Do you like being there just because you can feel different?

To jl at celibate in the city:
Do you ever think about just not writing in your blog anymore? I don't say this as a suggestion or anything, just wondering if you've ever experienced the same feelings of staleness that I'm having right now. How did you get over it?

To Anth at Random Junk:
Why don't you post more? You're a really great writer. If all you ever did was give reviews of the books you're reading it would be AWESOME! Plus, when are you going to get a real blog that I CAN MAKE COMMENTS TO?!?!?!

To the MAGSTER at miss margaret's art class:
When are you going to call me so we can chat about everything that you're going through right now?

To Jill at egg in spoon:
How did you become such a good writer? Do you read a lot? What's your favorite book? How's your puppy doing?

To Kacee at misery loves fun-pany:
Are you the person who posted about that cool wedding shower game that you played that was like the newly-wed game? I want to do that for my friend's shower I'm throwing next month and need ideas.

Will your husband ever have a set schedule so you guys can come home and be together every night? It makes me sad for you when I hear he has to be away 4 days in a row.

To Britt at pink poodle prints:
Did you get your thesis written? Are you going to be done before you head off to North Carolina?

To Rebecca at throught the looking glass:
Are you ever going to post again?

To Bryan:
Please don't forget to have your brother put together some climbing gear for our trip to Moab.

To "elle" at blonde beautiful brilliant bombshell:
Do you think you're going to be in engineering for the length of your whole career?

To Dan at the howlingman:
Did you know you are the most intriguing person to me on the sidebar?

To Sarah Marinara:
When are you going to compile your work and get someone to publish it? What are you waiting around for?

Thursday, April 14, 2005

My friend's fun survey

In my family we have this game. You go around and try to stump each other with advertising jingles. One person sings the song, the other person has to guess the product.

Anyway, my friend Spencer is doing a survey and needs your help. It only takes 10 minutes, and it is really fun, so go over there and give him a bigger statistical sampling group.

Spencer's Survey

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Last night

I had a bad dream.

The kind of bad dream that makes you want to curl up in a ball as tightly as you can, pull the blanket over your head and wait for it to be over. You want your mom to come and rub your back, to tell you that everything is going to be alright.

Not a nightmare. Nightmares are bad, but they go away.

I'm talking about the kind of hauntingly bad dream that stays with you, lurking around every corner all day long, hiding until you've let your guard down and someone or something reminds you of the dream which suddenly becomes all that more real and vivid.

I dreamed that the ear doctor broke up with me and started dating my cousin Hilary. It was very dark and scary for me. I kept questioning him for why he dumped me and he just kept saying over and over, "I don't love you" and "I never liked you"

I got up in the middle of the night to try to shake it.

I drank a whole glass of water.

I went back to bed and it resumed. I ended up actually physically crying in my sheets.

It was horrible.

Really disturbing commercial

So last night I saw a commercial that freaked me out.

This couple is out in the middle of the lake in a boat when they get a hole in the bottom. As water rushes in the guy starts to freak out because he needs to stop it or it will ruin the date. He is frantically looking everywhere for something to stop up the hole.

Amidst his frantic searching the girl reaches into her bag and pulls one of her trusty Tampax pearl tampons from an industrial sized box, uses the applicator, and stops up the hole.

They then were able to continue their romantic date.

A few things in this 30 second spot disturbed me.

1. Why the heck did she have an entire box with her on their romantic boat ride? Honestly, what did she think, she was going to have a chance to right there in the boat use one? Nast.

2. The shot they showed of the tampon expanding because of the water just made my skin crawl.

3. Does their really need to be other uses for a tampon. I'm pretty sure the one their designed for is enough. Now I have to carry some around just in case I am involved in a nautical mishap? Maybe my grandpa should buy a box and keep them on the boat just in case. I can just see it now....My grandpa sitting around with a bunch of his buddies fishing when they spring a leak. All the other old men start freaking out, but not my grandpa because he was prepared. Yeah, right.

4. Why didn't they just row the boat to shore? I mean seriously, the whole rest of the date they are either going to spend a) bailing out water or b) sitting with their feet going pruny. Either way the date is pretty much ruined and does not necessitate using the tampon.

That commercial was just weird and makes me wonder how these ads get on the air. Isn't there some kind of checks and balances that each ad has to go through? A succession of sign-off? You can't tell me that THAT add got past more that one person. Somewhere someone must have heard the premise and said, "fixing a canoe? I don't get it?"

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Here's a juicy question

Is/was being homosexual considered "cool" in your high school?

Blogging about TV

So I kind of think this is retarded to post about, but I'm going to.

Last night I watched my first episode of Super Nanny and I really liked it.

The premise of the show is that there are parents out there who just don't have a clue of what they are doing. I'm sure you've seen the type...they're always yelling at their kids in public, or buying them ridiculously expensive presents all the time. Well, this "super nanny" comes in, observes the family for a while, helps them try to learn out to be better parents and leaves having bettered their lives.

It sounded dumb to me when I heard about it.

I gave it a chance last night and was pleasantly surprised.

I felt so bad for these people because they just didn't have any idea at all how to help their kids. The mom was at her wits end and frazzeled and I just felt so bad for them. The mom even admitted that she felt like a bad mom and she loved her kids so much and just wanted to do the right thing, but she didn't know what else to do. It took them 2 hours to put the 2 year old to bed every night!

Anyway, super nanny came in and really helped them out.

Normally I don't really like reality TV that much, but this just seemed so real and honest that I was touched.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Happy Birthday Bryan

Brittany had a wonderful idea.

I'd also like to send out a creative and heartfelt birthday wish to my pal Bryan.

I can't even remember my first impression of Bryan, but I bet it was filled with Dualism. I probably was instantly drawn to someone with so much confidence, yet repelled because that independence almost overshadowed my own.

The strange thing is that I have hardly any memories of doing school things with Bryan. We went through the same classes, had the same homework and study friends and yet my recollection of those times have him strangely absent.

Bryan is the person who makes me think. He challenges what I hold to be plain truth and makes me really understand what I believe. He makes you commit to what you think.

When I think of Bryan my mind immediately jumps from fond memory to fond memory. First, and I don't know why, but I think of that smile. That "I can conquer the world if I want to" smile. That "I bet I can at least get the number of any girl I want" smile. That "Wall street is mine for the taking" smile.

The second oldest memory I have of him is Fall Fling my senior year. He just walked up to me and we started dancing...With my boyfriend (Derek) standing right there. It was weird, but seemed so normal and innocent.

Third, I think of is the Havasu trip last year. The arrangement was that I was going to fly in to Vegas, he was going to rent a car in LA, drive over and pick me up from the airport. When I landed I called him and found out that he'd just left LA. I sat on that bench and waited for him to come get me. He pulled up in the "mid life crisis" (convertible Seabring) and we drove the whole way to Havasu with the wind rushing through our hair.

Also during that trip Bryan tried to tell me how to make hamburgers and I almost went ballistic.

Bryan reminds me of being strong, independent, verbose and funny. He reminds me of strange dates and even stranger propositions. He reminds me of the indomitable spirit of man. He reminds me of me. He reminds me of college. He reminds me of laughing and loving and missing the people I hold so dear.

Happy birthday pal.

Saving Money

When you want to go on a vacation what is the number one thing that will dissuade you from going?

Money, right?

You never can seem to scrape together enough cash to leave home. Well, time is probably a close second, but whatever.

You want to take a great trip to somewhere you've never been far, far away but you just can't bring yourself to be widely irresponsible, throw caution to the wind, whip out your credit card and go.

What is the alternative?

Two words:


The thing about the road trip is that you probably aren't going anywhere TOO far away and you are probably seeing things you've already seen.

This weekend I took the 8 hour road trip to Provo with the ear doctor.

Yep, the place I lived for 4 years.

I know every backroad and sidestreet in the area. I know the best way to get from campus in Provo to my aunt's house in Orem factoring in time of day, weather, sporting events and my personal fatigue.

I went over for my little sister's bridal shower (which went very well Heather) so I didn't really want to buy a plane ticket to get there.

What a fool I am.

Not only did we have to buy gas at these freakishly high prices, but also I got a $125 speeding ticket (curse you Colorado highway patrol), on the way back we slid off the black-ice covered freeway and had to be towed 6 feet back onto the road (to the tune of $260), and we had ended up staying the night at the Silverthorne Motel 8 (another $60), and having dinner there too!

Total spent this weekend on transportation ALONE: $575

Total cost for two round trip tickets from Denver to Salt Lake City on Frontier Airlines: $410

Any questions?

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Well everyone

I'm off to Utah for the weekend! It should be awesome because tomorrow afternoon I'm skiing with my Aunt, Saturday morning is Maggie's bridal shower, and Saturday night we're going to either a bluegrass fiddle festival or swing dancing with the ear doctor and all his friends.

BTW I'm introducing the ear doctor to my mom for the first time this weekend. I'm sure it will go really well, but stay tuned for my synopsis.

I don't know how I did it...

but everyone at work has started to think that I run the show around here. Seriously, at least once a day someone makes a comment about how I have our entire program wrapped around my little finger.

I think it is the combination of knowing what I'm talking about, helping people out when the are in a jam, being a girl, and being shockingly sassy that wins people over.

For example: Today my boss's boss came in and fixed my heating vents because I was complaining about my office being too hot. Then, he said that I should have a promotion and helped me understand how to go about getting one.

Maybe I just have it really perfect here at my job or something. Whatever the case, things are just all coming together for me really well.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Hello, we ALL have to share this space

So since when has it been alright to talk to me in the elevator?

Just because I am standing there, breathing, occupying the same closet size space as you does not mean that I want to strike up an inane conversation with you. Especially about work. Especially since you do not directly work with me and hence have no interesting thing to say to me which could in some way benefit or even interest me. Especially since you are wearing a t-shirt with a dragon on it, black tapered legged jeans, and a pair of tennis shoes with velcro.

Posting under the influence

So I think that this new blog template is messing with my mind.

Whenever I open it up I see how nice and sweet it looks and it makes it difficult to say anything depressing, or even sarcastically funny.

I look at those freakin pink petals and any firey, sassy, sullen streak in me is muted, dulled, irradicated, and snuffed out.

I think it is making my blog bland and not much fun to read.

I'll try to do better and keep it more real.

Things everyone should do at least once in their life...

and I did all last night.

1. Talk for a long time to someone you thought you wouldn't like at all, but given a chance proves to be fascinating and intriguing.

2. See your significant other drive up, drop everything in your arms, run out to him, jump up into his arms, kiss and spin around in circles.

3. Display excessive amounts of public affection at the grocery store.

4. Talk through a movie because you'd rather talk to the people in the room with you than do anything else.

5. Live with your best friend and end up still being best friends when you move out. (I'm assuming this....I haven't moved out yet)

6. Eat authentic guacamole and chicken enchiladas prepared by someone who has spent more than 2 years living in central Mexico.

7. Realize that your life is pretty much the way you want it. You haven't made any big mistakes and the choices that you are making will all work out in the end.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Its surprising they're still together after that beginning


The Story of Father's Proposal

I'm sure over the years this story has become inflated in some areas and downplayed in others, but this is the version that sticks in my mind. Since you can't really ever get at true reality, this interpretation will have to do.

My mother was a strong, independent woman in her upper 20s who had a career and some strange roommates.

My dad was a funny salesman who had decided that law school wasn't really for him.

They both went to the same strange church congregation that they lovingly called, "the cuckoos nest" because there were so many nuts in the group.

Anyway, they'd been dating for quite a while.

One night as they were sitting in the car he tossed a little box into her lap and said, "well, what do you think?"

She opened it up and it was one diamond earring.

Confused she looked at it and back up at him in bewilderment.

It finally dawned on her that this was a marriage proposal.

She later found out that it was the earring of a "lady of questionable reputation" that my dad knew (he was a lot more sketchy back then) and had been purchased at a pawn shop (I think?).

She took 3 months in giving him an affirmative answer to his "eloquent" request.

To this day he insists that the earring was a "jewler's setting" and she maintains that it was only a "few weeks" before she gave him an answer.

Classic, huh?

A kernel of annoyance

Last night I watched the NCAA championship game. It was pretty good and came down to the wire, which is my favorite way for any game to go.

The only thing that annoyed me was the table that the announcer people sat at.

Across the side facing the court there were big numbers:

Two things about this really bothered me. Bothered me to distraction and drew my attention from the game.

First, the numbers read in descending order from left to right. For some reason this really bugged me because here in North America we hold the norm for numbers to read from left to right in ascending order. How hard would it have been to print them the correct direction and avoid the headache?

Second, 65? Why 65? Did they intentionally mess up the sequence to mess with my mind? Don't most people look at numbers around them and try to make patters, see order, develop a sequence for the chaos in life? Don't they know that one small ripple the pond of my consciousness will disturb everything else?

Why didn't' they just put 64 and avoid all this consternation?!?!?!

Monday, April 04, 2005

This might just beat my dad's proposal for Romance

Check this guy out.

Getting the brush off

Why do I let him get to me? It makes no sense.

It doesn't matter how much time or space I put between us he can totally wreck my mood with one inconsiderate action. I could go for months and months without my thoughts wandering to him, but inevitably he'll spring into my mind while someone is speaking or saying something that he really should hear.

I don't want him there, and yet, he is.

Why won't my strong will carry over into this and allow me to totally eradicate him from my psyche?

He calls me when he is at his lowest, most vulnerable point because he knows I'll be there. And I'm proud to be the type of friend that everyone knows will be there when they need it.


With him it feels like I'm being taken advantage of.

And I hate that.

I'm torn between my compassionate side and my independent side.

That's really what I hate.

Either course of action makes me feel like I am betraying myself.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Too Cliche?

In past relationships I've always had certain songs that remind me of my significant other.

"Near You Always" by Jewel and "Volare" by the Gypsy Kings will always conjure up happy memories of Derek and his ghetto little blue house in Provo.

"The Way you Move" by Outkast and "I love you" by Nat Cole make me think of falling in love with Eric in Mexico.

I've always had these songs that make me think of them, but I've never actually had a song that was "our song."

It always seems so cheesy and lame to have some ultra-romantic song that embodies your relationship.

Well, the ear doctor and I have officially decided to have a song, and I'm thrilled about it. It's a new song, so neither of us has any other memories attached to it. Also, it seems to be written exactly for us.

The song is...

wait for it...

Better Together by Jack Johnson.

It's the first track on his new In Between Dreams CD.

Anyway, my question is this:
Have you ever had an official "song" with a significant other? What was it? How did you decide it?

Yea! It's spring!

That old design was WAY too intense for how happy I am and how beautiful it is outside.

I know my commets blow. I'm sorry if you've been frustrated by them.