Wednesday, May 19, 2010
All ways I'm feeling right now with respect to writing this blog. Suddenly my life seems about as dull as dirt and the desire to write about it scurries away like a centipede whose rock has just been lifted.
But, really, some pretty amazing things are happening.
First, my cousin had a baby yesterday. Little Finn came 3 weeks early and only weights just over 4 lbs. Modern medicine is a MIRACLE.
Second, thanks in small part to all your positive sentiments, we've decided to open our basement for the summer to a wonderful girl. I'm so excited to give her a place where she can feel safe and make the transition to being a college student. Plus, I've had a BLAST decorating a room for a teenage girl! Seriously, it's been rad.
Third, my parents bought plane tickets to come out to Colorado for my birthday this year. I don't think we've been together for my birthday in about a decade and I am THRILLED! I hope my dad makes me some breakfast potatoes and my mom constructs the pancake cake.
Last, we are soon leaving for an ALASKAN CRUISE!!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
And whenever we get together we almost always end up at a shopping center with her trying cute stuff on and me stuffing it in the face of the sales girl to get rung up.
And do you want to know why?
When my little sister (who is now a mother of 2) puts on something pretty her whole presence changes. She lifts up her shoulders until they kiss the bottom of her ears, she pins her arms down to either side and lifts her balled up fists at the wrists to the cutest, happiest angle you've ever seen. She whirls around and smiles from ear to ear. There is nothing so gratifying or easily achieved in life.
So, she gets clothes a lot...at least from me. And so do her kids because part of me thinks that maybe I can encourage this infectious clothes-induced joy in them as well.
Last night I went to the mall to buy a brand spankin new outfit for a friend's high school graduation. And as I sat on that heavenly sofa in the dressing room at Anthropologie and watched this girl who'd never tried on any clothes even close to the quality at that store I was overwhelmed with happiness for her. She was so adorable and excited and clearly felt so pretty. I felt so lucky to be the person in her life who could give her that moment.
And I started to love her like I love my sister.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
She's had some hard knocks the last few years and where she is at now is just...well...NOT acceptable. She needs stability and reassurance that she's making the right choice to get a job, grow up and go to college. She needs someone who tells her she is valuable, smart, funny and pretty. She needs someone to help her figure out pell grants and student loans. She needs someone to care whether she comes home at night. She needs someone who will feed her vegetables once in a while. She needs a home where she feels comfortable enough to unpack her clothes and sit on the couch to watch a TV show that SHE picked.
She needs family.
But I'm worried that between the ear doctor and I, we may not be ready to be that for her. I'm worried that I don't know how to be anything than someone's roommate...I've never helped raise a teenager before. I'm worried that living together might ruin the otherwise great mentoring relationship we've created. I'm worried that I haven't developed that unconditional love that I might need to make this work. I'm worried I'm not enough for her.
I'm also worried that she may have no one else who is willing to help.
Is letting her live with us a bad idea?
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Subject: Pandora rules.
Message: Right now I’m listening to “I can’t fight this feeling anymore” and RAWKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!
My fist is raised, my eyebrows are furrowed and the deep yearning in my soul is almost too much to bear.
This is why I got married. So I would have someone to send these kind of emails to who truly appreciates them.
Monday, May 03, 2010
The ear doctor cleaned up this bench in our garage, spray painted and hung green peg board, organized and hung up all my garden tools, bought me two new little pots for future plants and got me a big ole bag of potting soil. Now I have my very own potting bench!
My tomato starts are just begging to be planted outside, but since the weather forecast has snow later this week they'll probably spend another week here in their sunny little spot. I also fed them some plant food this weekend and they already look bigger and stronger!
Last fall I planted a bunch of bulbs in my front garden. I intentionally bought bulbs that were all marked the exact same color. I actually spent about an hour crouched down digging through a bin to find all matching bulbs. Well, this spring they came up and I have 3 DIFFERENT colors of tulips. Annoying. They were all supposed to be pink! At first it really bugged me, but since I clipped the offending white ones and brought them inside they've made me SO SO SO happy!