I frantically rummaged through the bottom of my bag to find my cell. Where was it?!?! Why is it that when I'm trying to find it it seems hidden inside some dark, invisible pocket or something.
My hands were literally shaking when they finally closed in around the scratched and well-worn plastic. Luckily it only takes 2 key strokes to call him because I didn't know if the tension radiating from my body would allow me to dial all 10.
Just hearing his happy greeting seemed to lower my nervous energy about 10 notches.
I word vomited my feelings to him while I was standing there, in the hall at school, not caring (much) if anyone heard. He offered me comfort. He offered to drop everything he was doing and come to be with me. He offered to bring me dinner later. We didn't talk long, since it was the middle of the day and my to do list was impossibly long, but I agreed to let him take care of me.
For me, this is a big deal. It's admitting I can't do everything. Admitting I have a weakness. Admitting I need.
The rest of the day was spent moving at Mach 3. I pushed and pushed and pushed to get things done. I was sitting in my cubicle at 7 at night after having pushed for 13 hours straight when I got his call. He was waiting at the gaurd station for me to come get him. With dinner from CPK.
For the half hour he was here I breathed. I laughed. I understood more about love.