Laying in my bed with dripping wet hair and a haphazardly assembled ensemble I looked up at the popcorn ceiling of my new bedroom and took a moment to relax.
It seems like fate refuses to let me be calm with a choice, like it forbids me from coming to any kind of equilibrium point. I feel like a marble balanced carefully on top of an upside down bowl; lying ready to fall off the one point of balance.
Yesterday at work it was announced that my department would be laying people off within the next week or two.
My once quiet and reposed mind has been uprooted and expelled into a tumultuous storm of uncertainty.
I'd made my decision to go to school, but stay working part time to support my dirty little shopping habit. With the extra time at work I can comfortably keep my car. My car. My one symbol of being an independent and successful adult. It embodies my achievement and my responsibility.
Now, if I loose my job that supplemental income will evaporate causing me to living like a poor starving student.
I will immediately go from the wonderfully frivolous lifestyle to which I have become accustomed to that bleak world of having to turn down outings with friends simply because I can't afford it.
I was so frazzled this morning that I didn't even put any mascara on.
That is bad.