Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Attack of the Killer Clowns

So I know Boulder is this ultra-healthy town where everybody runs and plays Frisbee and frolics in the grass with their golden retriever.

Yoga and palates are huge here.

Everyone is always looking for the next best exercise they can do to keep their bodies looking and feeling great.

And usually I'm like, "Whatever makes them feel good...go for it. Just don't run me over in your Subaru Outback trying to get there."

This morning on my way into work I saw something that I've decided is over the line. I just can't jump on the bandwagon of thinking that is a good thing to do.

This guy was riding a UNICYCLE on the bike paths around town.

A UNICYCLE!?!?! Since when has it been cool to be seen on one of those things outside the circus? This guy was wearing serious biking clothes (tight lycra shorts, padded bum, neon green windbreaker) and huffing and puffing on his UNICYCLE.

Maybe I draw my apprehension to this activity from my past experiences with the riders of the UNICYCLE.

In my undergrad there was a group of really weird kids that all banded together and made a club called "the Sword and Quill." Once a semester the S&Qers would set up a medieval tent in the middle of campus, dress up like Lords and Ladies, RIDE UNICYCLES WHILE JUGGLING, and recite Shakespeare. Bizarre.

Now, I'm not saying that people shouldn't do that if that's what they're into. I think it's cool to have hobbies that are a bit away from the mainstream....heck, I'm a fiddler!

My aversion to the UNICYCLE came during one of such impromptu renaissance Festivals. I was trying to get into the bookstore to get a bluebook for a test. It was urgent, and the tents were blocking my way. I pushed through the tents in my critical quest for a bluebook. Well, I guess that was unacceptable because some kid started CHASING ME ON A UNICYCLE. When he caught up with me he yelled at me for disrupting the authenticity of the scene.

Anway, now I'm jaded about UNICYCLES and all people who chose to ride them. (other than, of course, the occasional circus act. I love the circus)


k said...

I give props to anyone who can ride one though! I fall of my bike regularly and it has 2 wheels!

There is a guy who rides a unicycle around Green Lake often, but he is just doing it for the "wow" factor, not for exercise. Still bizarre though.

Wegrit said...

I think every campus has that group of weird kids who throw impromptu medieval festivals. We had them too. They were mostly the theatre kids who couldn't act.

And on the plus side, at least they weren't clowns. Clowns are freaky and unnatural.

Miss Hass said...

Medieval festivals belong in, well, the medieval time period. Or at least not on college campuses across America. A friend of mine lived with two S&Q members in the U.C., and she said it was very, very, extremely interesting. They had capes. Not just one cape. Multiple capes.

Waldy said...

I'll one-up the multiple capes. My brother got married and threw a full-fledge mideval festival and feast instead of a nice, normal wedding reception. I had to wear a serving wench outfit. There was no other way out of it seeing as I was his sister and didn't want to offend.

It was the worst night of my life.


Katrina said...

I guessed I missed the historical footnote that particularly associates unicycles with the Medieval period. Curse my public school education!

On a side note, the apples on your front page are making me hungry...

Maggie said...

My current favorite apples are either the pink lady variety or the sensa variety.

Katie said...

I've never had sensa before. where did you get them?

katie said...

I honestly don't think I've seen a unicycle outside of the circus. Strange. I LOVE your new page! I'm obsessed with crayons. No, I mean really obsessed!

Maggie said...

Mom got the sensa apples in Wenatchee. Is that how you spell that? I don't know, but what I do know is that those apples are delicious!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it sad how bashing of unicylists has degenerated into a discussion about apples?

Horse apples are the best!

Genius said...

The unicycle man I have seen when I am running on the creek path and he really stresses me out bad. I am afraid he is going to fall over and hurt himself or he will loose control and run into me.

Regardless, Pink Lady apples from Whole Foods rock my taste buds.

Maggie said...

I don't think that the discussion has degenerated, I just think there are two conversations going on. Kinda like the dinner table with a big family.

girl from florida said...

I bet it takes serious core strength to ride one of those. It's probably a great ab workout. :)

Katrina said...

Speaking of great ab workouts, try doing crunches with a full crate of apples on your chest.

And I think Cameo apples are the best, but they're hard to find at the store currently.

Pink Lemonade Diva said...

what about those weird bicycles where the rider looks like they are lying down to pedal. Are they popular out there?

Just found you and love your moniker. I often wonder if I'm burning under the flourescent lighting.