Monday, August 10, 2009


He randomly came home and told me he didn't want me anymore.

He said that he couldn't stand the way I never said "bless you" after he sneezed and my clumsy habit of not closing the kitchen cabinets had driven a wedge in his heart. He was leaving at there was nothing I could do.

He just sat there.

As the grief induced anger bubbled up from my the depths of my crushed heart the stinging insults flew from my lips. "I never loved you either" was quickly followed by "oh God, please don't let him leave me"

And then I woke up....but the pain was real. The neural chemicals that created such a horrible nightmare had actually been secreted and so I couldn't stop myself. At 6:03 on a Saturday morning I laid in bed, surrounded by the confused yet comforting arms of my husband and sobbed. I gasped with deep, soul raking breaths. I was reminded what true and utter rejection felt like.

And I realized again how much I love my husband. How much I need him. How perfect he is for me.

Thanks a lot Zooey Deschanel ...


Raven said...

Did you see 500 Days of Summer?

I think it is the most fabulous movie ever but yeah, she is a bit heartless in it :)

Katie said...

Yeah, that movie inspired the nightmare!

I loved it, but the ear doctor thought she was the most ruthless movie villian of all time.

TRS said...

Poor thing! I understanding waking from dreams/nightmares that are far too real - and you can't shake the emotions. Truly awful.

(conversely, mine are that my sister is alive - and I wake up to realize she is still dead. even 24 years later it takes a while to sort out!)

Haven't seen 500 Days of Summer yet - but Mr. Burns and I watched Fireproof - and the whole time the husband is trying to win the wife back and she responds with indifference - Mr. Burns is fuming at the heartless biotch.