I can't be the only person who feels a little uncomfortable around people who adamantly profess to be totally open minded. When someone is opressivley forcing me to understand that they are the most open minded person I've ever met I feel a little apprehensive about saying anything for fear I might come across judgemental.
It's like their open mindedness is a big gaint warning flag. Their waving that flag in my face saying, "I am open and you are not. I think that anything anyone does or wants or thinks is great and if you slip up and mistakenly say something not 100% tolerant of someone or something then I'm going to make you feel stupid, lame and (worst of all) CLOSED minded."
So instead of promoting tolerance, friendship, equality and general open-ness I end up being closed, quiet and hesitant to express my thoughts. Which, without a doubt, is the opposite effect an open minded person should have on anyone, right?
Monday, March 24, 2008
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7 comments:
I know how you feel! If they were truly "open minded" they would be able to accept your views...but what they really want is for you to accept their views!
K
I am SO w/you on feeling that way! I also think that when someone TELLS you what they are or aren't, rather then SHOW you, it's an indication that they are rather WISHING they were what they are telling you. Insecure. The End. ;)
Agreed.
some people think I'm NOT open minded because my beliefs are fairly obvious (I'm no wall flower). So since they see that I live my own life according to strong faith and morals they ASSUME that I'm closed minded and won't accept THEIR views.
They are wrong.
and so, yes. THEY are the ones who are Closed-minded.
Through trial and error, I've discovered that there's a tipping point. Some folks leave their minds sooo wide open (for the sake of being non-judgmental, of course) that they wind up like an open dumpster--taking in whatever trash others happen to toss.
Heh, I couldn't agree more. In my experience, people who are actually open minded would never think to say that out loud to someone. People who TELL YOU they're "sooo open minded" then generally end that thought with a "..there's just ONE thing I can't look past in people, and that's when they think/do/say ____"
Yeah, that makes you NOT open minded, ya idiot. This is decidedly one of my biggest pet peeves. UGH!!!
I generally just respond with a resounding, "You might be right about that."
And, for the record, I think I am open-minded and I do state it occasionally. And truthfully, I do get frustrated when someone won't even listen to another view point (not accept, but listen) because I really do try to do that.
And there is a huge difference between being open-minded vs. without-an-opinion, which is how I think some people define it. And there's a big difference between being tolerant and endorsing other's views. While I think I'm tolerant of others opinions/lifestyles/etc. I do not always agree with them. Maybe that makes me close minded?
Great thought provoking post.
Usually those people are in fact annoyingly close-minded. Like all these posters said better than I can.
I listened to a girl say, "I would never judge someone for (insert mildly controversial decision here)." And then she proceeded to reveal why anyone who chose differently than she did on that issue was killing the earth and yadda yadda yadda.
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