My little sister and I both got an allowance growing up. It was my parent's way change the Saturday morning mandatory house cleaning from cruel child slavery to a way to teach us the importance of a dollar. My parents are very big on "teaching" moments.
Anyway, after saving our money we'd get to go shopping.
Maggie would go into the store, see something she liked, buy it and walk out happy and fulfilled. She's so lucky.
I, on the hand farthest from that mentality possible, did not. I would take my money, clutch it tightly in my hot sweaty little hand and walk up and down every aisle. I would agonize over every treat, every doll, every game. I never fell head over heels for anything. I always looked at the toy I couldn't get it if I decided to get this dool and lament. Nothing was ever a done deal for me. Even when I left the store with something I was annoyed and disappointed that I coudln't get something else.
This inability to commit to a purchase remained with me as I grew up. I remember my first large clothing purchase (brown suede coat from Nordstrom). My mom went with me and had to practically FORCE me to buy the dumb thing. I was simultaneously thrilled to have the coolest jacket in the whole high school and annoyed that I couldn't get that pair of jeans too.
Now I am met with a serious dilemma. The ear doctor and I NEED to buy a new sofa. It has come to the point where it isn't a frivolous purchase, but a serious requirement if we are going to spend any time at all sitting in our house. We've been looking for months to find a sofa we both like. However, every single one we've seen has left me feeling like I'm going to have to compromise. And, if I'm going to compromise part of me just wants to get some crappy cheap thing that I really don't like and get it over with. How do you people pick something like that and not second guess?!?!?
If you think I'm having a hard time committing to a sofa you should see the internal conflict I'm experiencing over this potential puppy situation. Grrrr