I'm sort of pissed off at Will Smith.
About a week and a half ago I made the decision to stop drinking diet soda. K said she was doing it and made an argument that struck a chord with me. I decided that I would cut back and only have 1 diet soda a week. A little splurge that I would enjoy with my overpriced popcorn when the ear doctor and I go to the movies.
It was surprisingly hard last week to not want a diet soda. Everyday at around 2:30 in the afternoon my hand would slowly inch toward the change compartment of my wallet. The siren song of the sweet, dark beverage would call my name. But I stayed strong. I didn't have a single drop all week.
Last Saturday night we decided to go to the movies. I was really excited to see a new movie, but more pressingly, to have my diet soda "treat".
We arrived at the theater, bought our tickets and scurried inside. After waiting a whole week, the first sip of drink was glorious. I happily followed the ear doctor into our theater, fully prepared for an enjoyable time.
That is where the night turned for the worse.
Guess what. I am Legend is not a cool phychological investigation into the mind of a person left alone a la Cast Away, like I thought! It is a freakin scary movie about crazed ZOMBIES! By the middle of the movie I was a quivering, fetal-positioned mess. My heart was beating a million miles an hour, I was sweating and the ear doctor's arm was pretty much broken from my kung-fu death-grip.
I do not deal well with Zombies.
The ear doctor looked over at my pathetic, Hollywood-induced fear and said, "we can go home if you want."
Blinking back tears, I nodded yes.
We actually had to leave the theater because I was too scared.
The thing I'm really mad about is that I was so scared by this silly movie that I didn't even get to enjoy my hard won diet coke. Will Smith is a jerk who likes to deprive people of simple pleasures in life.