Monday, September 20, 2004

Advice needed

So here is the sitch:

I have a really close group of friends. There are about 10 of us. One of them is my ex-boyfriend, Eric. We've been through all the weird post-dating stuff, and now we're back to being friends. I consider him one of my best friends here in Colorado.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I met this girl. She is perfect for him. I steered them together for an initial converstaion.

Things totally clicked for them and now they are in the preliminary stages of being "together."

She is such a great girl and I am really hoping that it works out for them.

Anyway, he hasn't told her that we ever dated.

When we hang out in a big group I find myself wanting to tell stories or say things that betray how Eric and I dated, but I don't think it's my place to just tell her like that.

If I were in her position (starting to date a guy and hanging out all the time with a bunch of his really close friends all the time) I'd totally want to know if one of those people were his ex-girlfriend.

Last night I asked Eric if he was going to tell her about it and he pretty much told me that he wasn't.

Now I kind of feel like I'm an accomplice in hiding this information from her.

I'd totally be fine with it if I didn't really like the girl. I wouldn't want to be the last one in the group to know that about some kid I'd been dating, so I assume she wouldn't either.

What should I do?


katezmom said...

Perhaps he thinks that no one else is going to mention it. No way, it's going to come out at some point and leaving it til later just makes it a big freaking deal. Now that it isn't a big freaking deal handle it. You have nothing to hide or be concerned about. Been there done that and we're good friends. What's his hangup? Think back, you knew he'd dated other women right?

Maggie said...

You shouldn't have to censor yourself around her because he's not telling her the whole story. If you have a story to tell or something like that then tell it. On the other hand I wouldn't go out of my way to tell her. It's not really your job and/or place to fix things between the two of them.

Nathan said...

Normally I would say it's none of your business. However, I think the situation is a little different because you are the one who got them together in the first place. I think you should make sure she finds out sooner rather than later. You don't want her to think you hid it from her intentionally. Or you could always take Tyler's advice on your co-worker calling you his angel and make him tell her himself.

Katie said...

Normally it would be none of my business and I wouldn't care, but this girl is my friend too. It feels kind of like I'm lying to her. That's the only problem I have. I could care less what he chooses to tell her, but if I have to feel like I'm hiding something, that will stop shortly. She and I are going to dinner tomorrow, so maybe I'll casually imply something. Jury is still out on that one.

Maggie said...

Is that Nathan my brother or Nathan a new guy I don't know?

Katie said...

I'm not really sure. Nathan commented on a different post, but it was under "anonymous." Maybe he signed up so I'd know who he was. Maybe its a stranger?