Free stuff = my dream come true

Well, last night I joined the ranks of poor saps who gave up 2 hours of their life in order to get something for free.

I went to a time share presentation.

Granted, it wasn't your standard "buy a week every year at the same condo for the rest of your life" set up, but it was still a timeshare.

First of all, I'm only 23, so I had to bring someone with me who was over 25. I ended up taking my friend Kirsten with me. We had to claim to be "partners." (lie #1: I'm lesbian)

We sat and waited for 20 minutes while watching old performances of Bill Cosby projected on a big white screen that reminded me of film strips in high school.

After the main guy gave his little talk and we watched a 10 minute video about how great it is to "own" your vacations instead of "renting" them, we were ushered out to talk to a representative.

First thing he asked us was how we knew each other. We looked at each other and said in unison "roommates" (lie #2: I live with my girlfriend)

We listened to his whole talk, and I pretended I was really interested. (lie #3: I take vacations all the time and would be interested in a time-share)

At the end he asked if we could afford the 10% down payment and I said sure. (lie #4: I have $1,000 to just throw into the wind at the drop of a hat)

I ended up saying that I just couldn't do it. We picked up our free $20 dinner, plane tickets to Orlando and a 2 night stay in a hotel and left.

All in all I claimed to be a lesbian living in sin with my girlfriend who travels all over the world and has $1,000 on hand to spend at will.

All that for free plane tickets.

My soul is as black as a woodburning stove.

Eh, I'd probably have done it for the $20 to Red Lobster.