Friday, January 14, 2005

Honestly now, does everything need to be automated?

Last night the ear doctor and I went out to the movies. We got there really early, so since I had the time I thought I'd go to the bathroom.

After I'd finished my business, I was beginning to stand up to zip my jeans when the jet engine below me began to rev up. I was startled by the powerful vortex forming below me and jumped back hitting my head on the thoughtfully provided purse hook. The water in the bowl was moving so fast that it violently sloshed out and some pee-water splashed onto my pant leg. Horrified by the experience, I was stunned into momentary shock. When my brain regained connection with my body I zipped my pants and hurriedly vacated the stall.

A bit flustered, annoyed and confused by the toilet I went to the sink to wash my hands.

I was again presented with one of man's modern marvels. The was motion activated. Usually, I really like this, but this one I was disappointed with. I waved my hand in front of the sensor like an idiot waiting for the stream to appear and when it did it was only three little trickles; hardly enough to work up a good lather.

The conclusion I arrive at from this experience is this: when did going to the bathroom turn into a technological experience. I mean, seriously, people on the other side of the world are able to manage it with a dirt hole in the ground. Also, is it really necessary to use such swishing force the bowl. What if a small child fell in? Another thought that came to me: why does it have to flush the second you are done? Could there not be a slower timer installed that would delay that tsunamic oversplash effect long enough for me to get out of the danger zone. Maybe someone should put a sign on the stall reading: "Caution, senseless amounts of power have been used so that your poo will completely disappear within a nano second. The result of this is a propensity to splash nasty used water out of the bowl in a 12" danger zone so be careful if you a wearing dry clean only pants"


girl from florida said...

Heehee! Silly girl!

And just to think how much MONEY they spend on this junk... which is why movie tickets are so outrageous these days! (I sound like an old person, don't I?)

Heather said...

Okay, I thought I was the only one who didn't like/couldn't handle using the sensored bathroom equipment. I have never enjoyed my experiences with these devices. I have had a number of bad experiences with them, much like yours with the pee-water and all. I'm not quite sure why these people think they're more convenient/sanitary. I've gotten along fine using my foot to flush the toilet, and using a paper towel to turn off the sink. With that said, I think I should just boycott all restrooms that use these devices (we'll see how long that lasts, when I gotta go, I gotta go).

the narrator said...

my problem isn't automation. it's stupidity. i dropped a pen in my toilet, now it's all sorts of plugged up.

i wanna hear more about how things are going with your grap-school apps. i've gotta start doing all of that soon.