Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Auntie Marci 37:55-62

55 Yea, verily it is written that when the snow doeth fall, get thee to the mountains and make a gleeful sound. For neither rock nor branch nor small tree doeth corrupt the bases of thy skis if they are built upon the sure foundation of thy faith to survive.
56 If a doubt arises in thy heart as to the expedience of thy venture to the mountain, take no heed to thy worries, for thy skis surely shall be rentals and what damage is irreparable?
57 Thy skis shall be filled, thy tears upon thy clothing shall be mended, and thy poles with angles changed shall remain a testiment to thy steadfastness in the faith that the first trip need only be upon a six-inch base for, low, more snow shall come, as the night followeth the day, yea, it shall come. In great and wonderful whiteness, it shall come.
58 And if it so be that you must sacrifice your bodily parts upon the rocks, let it be said that you were among the first, the craziest to slide effortless to an exhalarating connection with the mountain spirits.
59 Thy bodily parts shall heal upon the passage of time and your faithfulness shall be rewarded upon the mountain with your giggles of delight.
60 For the time shall come when the snow shall melt, and ye shall say unto thyself, whoa is me for I was not first to go to the first resort upon opening and breathe the fresh air and feel the coldness upon my face. For I did sit upon my loins and did waste away the time of my vacation hours.
61 When the mud doeth overtake the slopes and the sky doeth blaze with that bright and powerful snowmelter and skin burner, let not thy lamentations cry, I did not go, I waited, I wasted, I let the days pass. For now there are no more days of whiteness. The hours of my addiction have all passed away and I live in guilt and misery for days spent not skiing, but working.
62 So go, take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take care of itself if ye shall abide in faith and ski today.


Sarah Marinara said...

You know, my whole goal for this winter was to learn how to snowboard (i'm not sure how you feel about snowboarding, so if you're anti, please don't hate me). My best friend is an excellent snowboarder and I was going to go out to Utah for the holidays and learn from her. But guess what? She went and got PREGNANT and now she can't teach me. How jacked up is that?

Katie said...

getting pregnant = bad
snowboarding = an acceptable way to pass time in the winter
skiing = God's gift to mankind