On the way into work

I was driving down the street realizing that yet another beautiful Colorado day will be spent in my little office with no window. I was admiring the sun and the cool crisp autumnal air. The new John Mayer song "Daughters" was playing, and even though I am a bit ashamed to admit it, I found myself really enjoying the song. I was singing along to the entirely predictable lyrics when I glanced in my rearview mirror and realized the girl behind me was also singing to the radio. Its so funny to see someone's mouth moving in silent coordination with your own. Made me kind of chuckle.

Last night I went to dinner and a movie with my friend Brittany. She was dating my ex-boyfriend Eric for a month, but he just broke up with her. Listening to her talk about how he acted was so similar to my own experience. She told me things that he had told her about me, and I realized that he really is such a retard.

I took him to the airport yesterday afternoon and asked him why he's been so mean to be lately. He danced around the issue for a while, but finally I got the real reason out of him. I guess more than one of our "close" friends have told him that he needs to be careful around me because I'm still in love with him.

I was shocked.

First because I haven't even really talked to him in a month and second because people who are supposed to be my friends are talking behind my back and clearly think I am some kind of pathetic loser who pines after some 19 year old dummy who doesn't know what he wants. Whatever. I'm so tired of the whole mess. I'm glad I've kind of drifted away from that group of friends over the last couple months.

Anyway, after dinner we saw "Shall we Dance" which was good, but not as good as the Japanese original (which I highly recommend, if you can get your hands on it).

After the movie I went home and did the dishes (they were in a pile in the sink almost reaching to the ceiling), and the ear doctor called me. He was hanging out at this little lake and asked if I want to come. I said sure and went. We walked around the lake and talked. I ended up talking about how hurt the whole situation with Eric has made me and I cried a little. I figure, there's no easing him into being my friend. Might as well let him see what a basketcase I can be while he's still deciding if he's interested. It started to rain so we went and got 7-11 hot chocolate and sat in his truck talking.

It seems like the beginning of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend from school, Derek, who I absolutely adored. Derek liked me a lot more at the beginning than I liked him. I thought he was nice, but I wasn't really interested. I'd flirt with him (because that's what I do), but I never really liked him all that much. He even told me that he loved me before we were even officially together. We always had a joke about how he "wiggled" his way into my heart. The sitch with the ear doctor seems the same.