Monday, November 08, 2004

Big News

So the ear doctor and I have officially decided to date. (AKA he is my boyfriend)

I'm really excited about it because he is one of the most impressive people I've ever met.

But, the thing is, I'm not totally head over heels. All my other relationships have started with a huge bang of drama. In the past they've made me so distracted I can't remember what I'm doing and every moment seems to be filled with thoughts of what I can do for him.

It's not that way with him.

Things are comfortable and normal and I have no fear about him wigging out on me about something.

I really like it. It's nice to feel like I'm still in control of myself. Sure, it may not be the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me, but it just feels natural.

Do you think that's a bad thing for a relationship?


girl from florida said...

Well, I think the key thing to remember here is that your past relationships didn't work out. Maybe this is just what you need- to have your head on straight, and go into it with a clear mind.

Natural is wonderful. Congratulations on your boyfriend! I think the big question is: how do you feel when he kisses you, or holds your hand? And when you see his number on your caller ID, are you happy? Little things like that are big indicators. Good luck!


fMhLisa said...

I've actually contemplated this a great deal. I never felt like I'd done the 'love is blind and makes us crazy' thing with my husband. I loved him, I admired him more than any other man I'd ever met. And he made me totally hot.

The feelings were deep and strong and true. And the logic was there too, fully intact. I knew without a doubt that he was a catch. But I never got that overwhelming blinding passion. And every once in a while I wondered if I was missing something.

I mean there has to be passion, attraction, all that. But ten years later, I think the clarity and the thoughtfulness were much more wise and helpful then all the head-over-heals ever could have been.

I felt love, so much of it. But I never saw fireworks, the earth didn't move under my feet, the sky didn't tumble down. And ten years later I can't even describe to you the depth of what I feel for this man. It overwhelms me sometimes. There are moments when I look at him and the earth does move.

The love isn't as hyper-active but it's much much deeper.

Anth said...

I agree with Lisa. Don't worry about it.

Kaycee said...

I think that most good relationships arrive at the phase you're at, anyhow, no matter how they start. You're content... happy. Why question it?

goofy328 said...

Sometimes it's good to have totally lost control, it's exciting, addictive even. Then again, you're not going to be totally head over heels with each relationship either, a lot of it depends on what side of you that person brings out of you.

We connect with people on different levels for different reasons, and just because everything is super-intense with one person and just regular with another doesn't say anything about either relationship's chance to last longer, or be any healthier, than the other. I believe that you can still be in love with someone without being irrational and impulsive, just a bit more mature, a bit more evolved, that's all. At the same time, the possibility of not being with that person might freak you out, regardless of how cool you are now.

You stated on your list that you're always the one being dumped and always that one that's been cheated on by your ex. Enough of that over time might cool the flames as well. Just remain optimistic and open to possibility, which it seems that you still are.