We need to have a chat.
Since I married the ear doctor he has been expanding my TV watching horizons. Never before would I have considered watching your show, but, actually, it's pretty entertaining.
Your exploits in the wild are fairly interesting. Once I saw you throw your body down a glacial crevasse and free climb out if it...absolutely insane, but good TV. And another time I watched a special about you strapping a big fan to your back and paragliding around Mt. Everest....NUTS.
Last night we watched your newest episode, your experiences in Zambia. First you were dropped off and rode a boogie board down the Zambeze river, which is one of the most hardcore set of rapids in the world (I think). Then you scrambled out of the river and found some one's old flipflop which you later used as a float for fishing and to make black smoke to signal your chopper I thought you were pretty resourceful. Next, I watched you filter water of the Zambeze river with the pocket of your "rucksack" that was pretty neat.
However, I'm going to have to draw the line at a few things that happened last night. First, you ate the meat off a dead and decaying antelope carcass. Gross. Second, even after your "feast" on rotting carrion, you were still hungry. You decided to listen to old dead logs to hear if there were any larvae moving around inside. Much to my chagrin, you heard something promising. You broke the log open and found the biggest, fattest, grossest old grub I've ever seen. Seriously, it was about 2 inches around and 8 inches long. SICK.
As you held it up to the camera to show it I started screaming at my TV, "DON'T EAT THAT SUCKER! DON'T DO IT BEAR! I CAN'T TAKE IT!"
But did you listen to me? No, you did not.
You took a huge nasty bite and the guts of the thing exploded out toward the camera.
I started retching so bad that I almost vomited up all the lovely guacamole the ear doctor and I made for our party tonight.
I was sickened like I haven't been in a long, long time. Especially since the ear doctor insisted on rewinding and replaying it over and over again all night.
So, what I'm saying is that I'm drawing a line. A line in the sand. If you continue to do horribly gross stuff like that I'm not going to watch your show. It's me or the grubs. Make your choice.
With warmest regards,