My congregation at church has about 10 little girls aged 8-12. For the last year the other congregation that shares our building has had only 2 little girls, so I willingly invited them to be a part of our Activity Days.
Well, about a month ago a new family started going to the other congregation. This family had an adorable little 10 year old girl. She and her mom came to one of my activities in September. We made rag dolls that night and everyone had a BLAST...I thought. When the new mom introduced herself she seemed a little blunt and pushy.
I shrugged it off figuring that she probably has a big family and had a crazy day, and, well, I give most people the benefit of the doubt.
Fast forward to this week. I diligently bake up a storm in anticipation of 12 little girls, like usual. I haul the 50 million things with me down the 2 flights of stairs from my apartment and load up my car. I drag all this stuff for 12 girls from my car to the building in bone-chilling weather. I set up the mountain of cupcakes in eager anticipation for my 12 little cuties to come filing through the door.
Right at 7, 3 of my girls are sitting with me. I figure everyone else is late because, well, people are always late. We start my lesson.
About 10 minutes into my lesson I notice the 3 girls from the other ward are hovering near my door. I turn my head and see the new pushymom. She looks me up and down with an air of entitlement and says, "Things were a bit too chaotic at your activity day, so I'm going to do my own thing with my girls." She turns and leaves.
No apology for springing this on me at the last minute. No acknowledgement that now 1/4 of the work I've done in preparation for the activity that night is now wasted. No thanking me for taking care of it for them for the last year. No discussion about the girl's progress and what we've been doing for the last year. Nothing.
I was dumbfounded and just sat there reeling from the rude slap across the face I'd just received. This lady, in one mean spirited quick comment made me feel like the work I'd been doing for the last year wasn't up to snuff. That I wasn't to be trusted with the development of these little minds. That all I brought to the table was chaos. I sat there feeling like a little lump of poo.
The only great thing was that at the end of the night the other three girls were wandering around the building and they peeked into our room. We were just finishing up decorating the awesome cupcakes and they all exclaimed, "You guys got to do CUPCAKES?!?!? Awesome! No fair!"
That felt a little better.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
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17 comments:
Since you blogged about theories the other day, here is a theory of my own. When people are rude to you, it is either because a) they are just mean, or b) they are jealous of your awesomeness, or c) both. I think in this case, pushy mom is suffering from reason B. Because I would LOVE to have you be my daughter's young girls leader!!!!! (if she were old enough) The older I get, the more I realize how lamely insecure so many people are.
I'll come beat her up for you! Then I'll rip scooter girl a new one, because she deserves it too. Hang-in-there...you are making a wonderful impact on those little girls, and I bet they'll always remember the fun they had in your class. Don't let a bitter person stop you from sharing the gifts God has given you.
I think the mom was jealous of you! Her girls were likely talking about how much fun they had with you etc. Keep doing what you are doing! You are a great role model for those girls. Don't let one grouchy mom detour you from doing what you are doing!
GFC
Ouch...that's mega harsh.
When you encounter people like that you gotta just wonder what kinds of junk they are hurting from. Try not to allow her hurt to take away your joy!
Some people have no class.
Oh honey, it sounds like you are doing a fabulous job. Don't think another thing of it, and keep on doing what you're doing. There were still 3 little girls there watching YOUR example. Good job!
What a small, sad, simple little person Pushymom must be on the inside!
Sounds like those little girls watched you handle the situation gracefully, and it was probably a lesson to them in diplomacy and coolness.
I remember the time your dad came home and told me about a new family that came to "interview" him to see if he was competent to be the Scout Master for their boy. All the other parents were thrilled with his ability to connect with their sons. Like they could find someone better to do it... People are funny!
Mom
Oh no! I'm so sorry. My feelings would be hurt too.
I just left you a REALLY REALLY long comment but blogger ate it :( I will try to recreate my passionate statements :)
I agree that this mom is most definitely jealous of you. You are young, incredibly energetic, smart, and so creative. You would be intimidating to any other woman, but add in the fact that her girl adores you (and probably constantly reminded that mom of this fact!) and it's most likely overwhelming. She is trying to take back control (of something she really cannot control) in her own petty way.
I also have to tell you something I probably should have a long time ago. Every time I read one of your posts about these girls & the activities you do with them (and the super cute invitations you make), I think about how much I hope that Amelia has a youth leader like you one day. I wish I'd had someone like you in my life at that age to help cultivate my faith, my relationships with other girls, and my self confidence. I think it could have saved a lot of teenage angst! You totally rock at your job and I am a huge admirer :) xoxo!
Isn't your job and official calling? Can she just come in and decide to do your job? I guess I'm not aware of the way that group is organized.
Also you're awesome.
Grrr, I am so mad for you! Especially as someone who also works in Primary and is completely exhausted by those kids every week but still cares about every single one of them and wants to do what's best for them. You are doing such a marvelous job and who knows what sort of crazy anal control issues that lady has. Too chaotic?!?! Her house must be so boring. No wonder her little girl liked you so much.
Some people just cannot handle not being in control, and it sounds like that's probably what is happening here. It's not that you were doing a bad job or that your class was even really chaotic, it's that she couldn't handle someone else taking charge. Don't worry about it.
I am so sorry you had to witness a jealous fit by that mother. What anth said in her comment is totally true. The only reason people behave that way is really because they are jealous and insecure. You sound like a great teacher and you put a lot of thought and hard work into what you do.
It makes me wonder what that lady's idea of chaotic is if her girls were left to just wander around the building while yours were busy socializing and participating in a fun activity. You shouldn't feel bad at all, even though it's certainly hard to remember that when someone behaves that way towards you. I'm 27 and I wish someone would come decorate cupcakes with me!
Take her a cupcake - but spit on it first :)
Aunti M
I loved all the comments! Some very good advise (s). Yes I had to laugh at Marci. Just the right touch...laugh at what you can't change.
Love,
Grandma Jane
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