Poodle got me thinking.
Where does the line between loving someone with your whole heart and becoming a doormat lie? Is the definition purely internal or is there a necessary external measure used? Can someone act and feel the EXACT some way, be a doormat in one situation and not in another? Is it dependent on a second party or not?
Most of the discussion I've heard about love states that real love is when selfishness vanishes. Does that mean that the "self" vanishes as well? I sure hope not because this is antithetical to my personality. Does that mean I'll never really be able to love someone else because I am independent?
I say no.
Love is not love unless the "self" survives. When someone "looses themselves" in love they have not truly attained it, because THEY are not in it anymore...Just a shadow of who they used to be.
It's really simple math.
If you take two separate people, combined them, melt them, join them, erase they old personas to make one entity you have LESS than what you started with.
If you take two separate people, join them but still keep them separate entities you really create 3: one person, one person, and one relationship.
You end up having more than you had to start.