When I started the program I am currently working on my officemate Shane bought me a office warming present.
One of those plants that you get at the grocery store that is wrapped in silver and green cellophane with a big silver bow.
I love my little plant. She is pretty and tough and has survived everything from freezing winter winds (Shane left the window open one night) to life without water (I went on a trip and forgot to ask someone to water her) to drops from great heights (my mountain of reference books habitually knock her off the back of my desk). I used to love her independence and really looked to her as the embodiment of my own personality.
I've been sick for 4 days and didn't come in to see her. No one was here to say hello to her in the morning. She didn't get water, natural light or her soil massage. Still she looks great. Better than ever.
It kind of makes me sad that she doesn't need me.
It makes me wonder if this is sometimes how I make/have made my boyfriends (past and present) feel.
I am independent and strong and don't really *need* anyone. I have my own goals and plans.
I'm sure it is attractive at first, but isn't a basic part of every relationship based (slightly at least) on needing the other person? Does my strong will turn people away and make them feel like their presence is ancillary to my existence when that really isn't how I feel.
Even though my plant is strong, if she goes forever without water she will shrivel up and die...even if she doesn't ever give that impression.