My perfect, adorable niece is 2 years old. And struggling with the concept of sharing. My sister is a bit frustrated with the shrill and constant insistence of "MINE." With the ruthless combination of gleaming hardwood floors and 14 ft ceilings their house is a resonating sound box for the possessive declarations. And I think it's getting old.
So she's wondering how best to teach her daughter that, in fact, some things are NOT hers.
But really, that's a tough lesson to teach. It takes years and years to develop an innate sense of sharing. A mental framework that subconsciously guides each of us to determine what is OURS and what is not. What we can give up and what we don't need to. How we split what we have and what is considered selfish.
And this morning the ear doctor and I realized that we approach this dilemma from two very different camps.
On Saturday we went to Costco and picked up our first (of many I'm sure) flat of peaches. There were 12 in all. Almost immediately, we both had one on Saturday. Then we shared one on Sunday. Then I took one to work yesterday and had another for breakfast this morning. So out of 12 how many are left?
As I sliced up my peach this morning I could feel that the ear doctor had something he wanted to say...but couldn't get it out. We sat at the table and I knew there was something on the tip of his tongue. And as I was fishing the last of my cheerios out of the milk he turned to me and said, "We share differently. For you sharing is time limited. There is a certain amount of something and we both have equal opportunity to get some but when the supply is gone it is gone. You have a limited amount of time."
I thought that was kind of funny...but true. So then he continued, "For me, sharing is number limited. If there are 12 peaches and two of us then, to me, that means we both get 6 regardless of how long they last."
He likes to savor, to wait for the perfect time to eat his "peaches" in life. But I like to experience things over and over and over.
And this whole time I've been eating the "peaches" he'd set aside for himself because I thought he didn't want them. I didn't see him eating them and I didn't want them to go to waste.
How do you share? Do you and your significant other share the same way? Do you find yourself eating their peaches, or having yours stolen? Has it ever caused a problem?