Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Puffy Eyes

When I was little I had a recurring nightmare.

In my dream a line of puppies would climb up the ladder to an old, shiny steel slide, take a ride down and then break their leg. They'd go to the hospital, get a cast and immediately climb back up to the top of the slide for another grisly ride. They'd do it over and over and no matter what I did they wouldn't stop. Terrifying.

I don't usually have vivid dreams, so when I do they really stick with me. Which is why I am exhausted this morning.

Last night at 3:37 am I found myself awake in bed, sobbing out of control. As the tears streamed down my face I gasped for breath and tried to push away the frightening dream I'd just had.

I dreamt that my parents took me and the ear doctor to Disneyworld. We had a great trip, but they went back a day early. On the morning of our last day, our parent-free day, the concierge from one of the resorts we were walking by pulled me in and gave me a package. There were no identifying marks on the package, so I was a little excited.

When I opened the box everything went all wrong.

It was a letter from my mom saying that she was leaving my dad. They were separating and she gave a whole list of reasons why. It was horrible. The terror of my family breaking down the seam was so gut wrenching that my pillow was soaked before I even realized it was only a dream.

I'm so glad that I had someone I love so much laying next to me. Before I was married when this happened I found myself wandering around the house in the middle of the night trying to tell my brain to let it go, to find a happier path to dream down.


Abby said...

Oh I have had the some of the same dreams! I have had to call my mom @ 6 am to make sure she was still alive...sad but glad to have woken up next to my wonderful hubby!

Stephanie said...

Just wait until you are pregnant. (Assuming you choose to do so one day :D) I had my most vivid and bizarre dreams during my pregnancies.

Greeneyes said...

When parents split, it is a mind-numbing, heartbreaking experience, whether one is 6 or 26. I still struggle with it.

What a lousy dream! I have those vivid shockers sometimes, too. Makes you wonder why the mind decides to violate you in your sleep like that. But how awesome that you can turn to your best friend now and hug it away.

dad said...

I have that same dream occasionally. In my dream I can't find my children and your mother won;t let me see her.

Becahse of that dream I work even harder to make sure that never happpens.

Our trip to Disney was the greatest.