Monday, February 28, 2005

Officially prohibited from using Office Supplies

So I'm a retard.

I was just loading new staples into my stapler. The new row was in correctly, and I was attempting to close it all up. Instead of just banging it shut like normal person, I decided to squeeze it shut between my thumb and forefinger.

With a satisfying click it snapped shut, ejecting a strong steel sliver into the meat of my thumb. Waves of pain shooting through my system, vision blurring from pain, I attempt to slowly remove the offending article. With every tiny motion, searing blots of pain race up my arm. I grit my teeth and yanked it out.

Looking like a vampire bite that slightly missed his mark, two perfect beads of red blood appear and stand as evidence against my total inaptitude.

Now I wear a "flesh toned" fabric bandaid around my left thumb as a reminder to myself to be wary of seemingly innocuous office supplies.

8 comments:

katezmom said...

So you are a part of the family! Bawahahah

katezmom said...

So you are a part of the family! Bawahahah

girl from florida said...

heeheehee!! sooooo something I would do (have done).

btw... On Thoughts, you asked why she calls me Ashley... it's b/c we try to be anonymous. Even though I posted a pic, I'd still rather most people not know my real name.

Elle said...

Aww I'm sorry to here all that, and esp sorry you didn't have a fun elmo band-aid or something a little more fun than flesh colored.

Mike said...

It's been a long time since I've done that- but I remember it hurts a whole crap load more than you think it will. I think the first time I stapled my thumb was when I was trying to make a fort or vehicle of some sort for my star wars action figures.

fMhLisa said...

Snort.

brittany said...

the boys in my middle school used to put staples all up their arms so it looked like their skin held together by staples. gross.

Tess said...

major ouch! i've done that too, but my sister can do more off the wall stuff like cut herself with a plastic fork (unintentionally but still manages to do it somehow). hehe.