100 Things

1. I have a whole walk-in closet full of clothes and there are really only about 3 outfits that I really like to wear.
2. One of those consists of my hideous green sweat/pajama pants and my soft baby blue housecoat. Accented by my bright red Steve Madden slippers and you have the perfect ensemble.
3. I really want an orange kitten, but I just don’t have the time to properly raise it right now….maybe I’ll get it this summer when I don’t have classes.
4. Grad school is not quite what I thought it would be. The other week I thought about quitting. The funny thing is that I thought I was the only one who thought about quitting grad school. The more people I’ve talked to the more I realize this is a normal thing that everyone goes through.
5. I am so glad that I have learned how to open up to people….at least a little bit.
6. Every day I realize more that I have no ability to change anyone but myself. If I’m unhappy with a situation I can’t expect to complain about how I’m being treated, rather I have to be the one who changes my expectations.
7. I love carving pumpkins, but I’m really confused why everyone says they like roasted pumpkin seeds. I think they are nast.
8. I don’t like turtleneck sweaters because I have a short neck and they usually come up to my ear lobes when I wear them making me look like I am being suffocated by my own vestments.
9. Cranberry Grapefruit SoBe is ambrosia to my tongue.
10. Me gusta bialar con mi novio, the ear doctor, porque el es muy guapo!
11. I love the fact that I have some people in this world who care about me so much that time and distance are really nothing.
12. My flat iron broke…this is a serious loss felt by me and I am still wearing black in mourning the little guy.
13. I love to jump on trampolines and I secretly resent my parents for never getting me one. (just kidding mom)
14. I am SO looking forward to going to England for spring break with my family. I feel like I haven’t been on a trip with them in AGES!
15. I think my mom is the most amazing woman who ever walked on God’s green earth.
16. I am so lucky to have had the childhood I did. Yesterday I heard a story about a girl whose parents kicked her out of the house at 14, tried ever drug under the sun, has since become a born again Christian and is now getting a PhD in Physics. Dramatic!
17. I love going to college and high school football games.
18. I love cooking, but always create the hugest mess in the process.
19. I wish I had the desire to work out more.
20. I love reading and am currently re-reading the Narnia series. This time I’m reading the story in chronological order (instead of the order CS Lewis wrote them in). I am getting SO much out of the story.
21. There really are deeper levels to that book that speak to me.
22. I’ve stopped doing my hair every day. I’ve finally learned the joy of just showering and throwing that knot of wet scraggly hair into a knot on top of my head and going. It really is liberating.
23. I love going to the movies….any time of the day, with anyone, or by myself.
24. I still don’t know what I’m going to be for Halloween. I never really know until about 7 pm the day I need a costume.
25. My new job at church is very demanding of me, but somehow I am being helped to meet the needs of everyone I care for.
26. That really is a miracle.
27. I do not think that, “I’m drunk” is an excuse for being rude or thoughtless. Just because I am the sober one does not mean you can take advantage of me.
28. Being passive-aggressive drives me NUTS.
29. A person who cannot see themselves and their flaws is really hard for me to handle.
30. Right now, my entry level Spanish class is my favorite….by far.
31. Every morning I come into work and make myself a cup of hot cocoa. On Fridays someone brings in doughnuts. I get kind of annoyed when they forget them.
32. My bangs are getting a little too long and drive me crazy.
33. I love doing special things for my friends for their birthdays. Nothing makes me happier than finding the perfect gift for them.
34. I am so excited that so many of my friends are getting married and having babies right now. It is so cool to watch them go through everything.
35. I love love LOVE that my friends don’t make be feel weird or pressured or anything because I am one of the last remaining singles in our posse.
36. My ideal Saturday would be this: wake up early and stay in my warm bed reading a book. Meet up with friends for a late breakfast. Go to a farmers market/take a walk/hike. See a late afternoon movie. Go to dinner with the ED and then go out to see a show in Denver. Perfection.
37. I genuinely like Mondays… I know, weird.
38. I love Nut Rolls.
39. And Hot Tamales.
40. I’m really excited about my classes next semester. They are exactly the classes I wanted to take and learn about.
41. I hope I have the time to take another Spanish class before I’m done with my degree.
42. I love that I have a savings account and I actually use it. So grown-up.
43. I’m starting to learn to slow down and enjoy each moment of my life. If I’m starting to feel rushed or hurried I tell myself to remember that I choose my course. I’m guiding my actions and if I’m not happy I don’t have to do anything. It really helps.
44. I can’t wait for the T-shirt and chocolate covered macadamia nuts that my mom got me in Hawaii to come. I could down a whole box of those bad boys in about 3 minutes.
45. I love Girl Scout cookies.
46. I would rather be cold than hot.
47. I’m more uncomfortable in small spaces than at high heights.
48. Saturday I will be spending the whole day either working on Halloween costumes or in the computer lab. I hope the weather is crappy.
49. I rarely have food cravings.
50. I love being around people who are clever.
51. Intelligence in other people doesn’t intimidate me…it attracts me.
52. I used to define myself as “fiercely independent.” I don’t anymore.
53. I am loyal to a fault.
54. I’m an awesome roommate.
55. I love old people, especially old couples. They just treat each other with such respect. I guess that comes when you’ve been with someone almost every day of your life for over 50 years.
56. If, at the end of my working career, I have built the type of life my grandparents have I will consider myself very successful.
57. Happiness isn’t a destination, but a route.
58. Last night I watched the DVD from my sister’s wedding. The photos were so beautiful I was tearing up, but the music less than great.
59. That is kind of frustrating for me personally because I did such an awesome job of actually compiling some AWESOME music for the wedding and now their memories are all associated with weird stuff that doesn’t really say, “Maggie and Dan forever”. Boo.
60. I don’t have a bike.
61. Sometimes I wonder if I got back on one after all this time if it would really come back to me, “like riding a bicycle?”
62. Wow, that was dorky.
63. I think crocks are ugly.
64. Actually, most typical “Colorado” shoes I think are pretty heinous.
65. I love that Colorado style still, and always will, includes down vests. I love them.
66. I want to take cooking classes.
67. I thought about dropping out of grad school and going to culinary arts school….for about 10 minutes.
68. I don’t understand why other people expect you to love their dogs as much as they do.
    Why are people rude in the grocery store? Seriously, CALM DOWN.
69. When I get tired my eyes start to droop.
70. Last night the ear doctor and I spent a ridiculous amount of time at Wal-Mart. The cool thing is that because I was with him, it was fun the whole time.
71. The ear doctor already has an idea of what he wants to carve into his second pumpkin tomorrow. I have no idea.
72. That is pretty indicative of our relationship.
73. For the first time ever I sent my mom a Halloween care package. I think she loved it.
74. I wish I had the patience to be a really great scrapbooker, but I don’t. And I probably never will.
75. Photos in a shoe box works for me.
76. Actually I wish there was a classy way to just plaster my walls with photos of my friends and family. Cool idea, but it would probably drive me crazy with business.
77. I love going to home shows, but would never want to live in a house so big it echoed.
78. This afternoon the institute director is making Pad Thai. Yummmmm
79. On a sunny day there is nothing better than getting a jamba, rolling down the windows, cranking up the tunes and driving.
80. I love the ocean.
81. I love the ocean in Oregon when it is cold and misty. It calms me.
82. I love waking up early in the mountains and walking away from the campsite to be alone. When the light is in almost horizontal shafts through the trees it takes my breath away.
83. I don’t like hiking fast because I don’t like looking at the ground. I like hiking so slow that I can look up between each step and see where I am. It’s not about the destination for me.
84. I can eat a whole box of Kraft Mac & Cheese in one sitting.
85. I eat it right out of the pot I used to cook it in. Why dirty another dish?
86. I am really excited about going to London in March. REALLY excited. My grandparents offered to let us use their time-share points so it looks like our lodging will only cost about $150 for the whole week. SCORE!
87. I only have about 7 minutes to finish the rest of this. Yikes!
88. I love playing spoons with my family. We do a tournament every year at Thanksgiving and I am going to DOMINATE this year. (last year I came in 2nd)
89. I help my mom cook Thanksgiving dinner every year. We get up at 6 am and work so hard we pretty much collapse by 5 pm. It is awesome.
90. This year Thanksgiving is going to be really small…only about 15 or so.
91. That is much more manageable than the 25-30 we usually have.
92. I miss my Aunt Sandy every day.
93. I love Christmas more than any holiday of the whole year. I don’t know what I’m going to do this year without the baby.
94. I’m really excited to meet Olivia Jane.
95. I love wearing green but feel like I have to regulate my wearing of it or else that is all I would wear.
96. I have a real love/hate relationship with haunted houses.
97. I love spring more than any other season.
98. Then fall,
99. Winter and summer tie for 3rd.
100. I like cake.

An Ode To Colin

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Colin,
Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you,
You live in a zoo,
You look like a monkey,
And you smell like one too.

Happy birthday to you,
I don’t know what to do,
Besides sing you a song,
Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you,
I’m glad I’m part of your crew,
I think you are awesome,
And your wife is cool too.

Happy birthday to you,
You don’t smell like doo,
Hopefully after putting your name on the internet,
You won’t want to sue.

Happy birthday to you,
I have to use the loo,
This song is getting long,
And I have work still to do.

Happy birthday today,
Please party in a major way,
I’m so glad you’re my friend,
There’s nothing else to say.

Just thought you should all know how hard core I am

So my pal K in Seattle wrote this post yesterday and since it applies to me as well, I thought I'd link you over there to check it out.

Enjoy!

Christmas in October

I don't really have much time, because I'm doing this between classes, but I just needed to post.

Last night I once again realized the importance of having good girl friends. The kind of friends who make every minute with them special. The kind of people who turn a drive out to unincporprated Boulder to buy holiday scented candles from one of those "Tupperware-esque" type of open houses in the middle of October into a moment to remember. The kind of friends that make a stop at Starbucks into an event. The kind of friends who know that if they invite you to something, you'll end up having no control and just buying whatever you want, thereby giving them the liscence to do the same.

First frost

I love fall.

No, actually, I love fall in Colorado.

This morning I woke up early, before the sun was up and got ready for my day. As I opened the door to leave I noticed that my car was covered in frost. The first frost of the year is magic to me. It is the one time the entire year where I am not inconvenienced by having to scrape that thin layer of ice off my windshield. I revel in the cold enchanting vortexes of the air escaping from my lungs. The morning feels fresh, new, and full of possibilities.

Instead of feeling flustered that the ice was going to make me late, I turned on my car and let it sit, warming itself up for me. I took those few unexpected free minutes to make myself an English muffin. I put so much butter on each half that the little craters were overflowing with melted yellow goodness. I stood in my front yard looking to the left, up to the beautiful flatiron mountains. They were imbued with the first early morning rosy light. I took a deep breath and realized that today was going to be a very good day.

Big Fat Stupid Idiot

I just realized that last Wednesday was my work's deadline to buy discounted lift tickets for the season.

I'm the retard who has brand new skis and no lift ticket to use them.

What a dummy.

London

I just thought you all might be interested to know that I purchased my tickets to London for spring break. I just couldn't wait any longer. I found the perfect combination of flights that gets me into Heathrow 30 minutes before my brother and leaves London 5 minutes after his flight. That really could not be more perfect.

Now I am really excited to get the trip planning underway.

So here comes the $64,000 question. Has anyone been to/lived in London and wants to give me some hints of cool non-touristy things to do while I'm over there? I'm sure we'll hit all the tourist stuff, but it would be really cool to spend some time and really get the feel of the city away from the digital cameras and screaming babies.

So, yeah, any advice?

Maggie is Cute

My little sister has called me almost every day this week to let me know how much she loves me and misses me.

Right now I can sense your jealousy of my family. It's ok, don't worry....that is normal.

My Fall Break

Since today is the second day of fall break, and I need some cash, I decided to come in a work a full day.

It just so happened that all my co-workers were going to go to lunch yesterday, but changed their plans so that I could come with them today. Pretty thoughtful for a bunch of middle aged guys, huh!

And that, my friends, is why my job is GREAT!

Perfectly happy

I just had the best weekend possible.

No school work, no worries about work or family, or anything really.

It all started after leaving campus Friday afternoon and going home to take a nap. I haven't taken a really nice long nap in FOREVER. After my nap the ear doctor picked me up and we went down to Denver. He took me to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants (Tamayo) where we got appetizer, entres and dessert. Yum! Then, we went over to the Buell theater and saw Jerry Seinfeld. When he came out on the stage I was a little caught off guard because he was actually there, living breathing and walking around. It seemed a little surreal. Anyway, his show was so funny I almost peed and when I was walking out my side hurt a little from laughing so hard. If you ever have a chance to see him DO IT!

Saturday morning I showed up to the ear doctor's house with breakfast from Panera. We went down to Aurora to go to their "pumpkinfest." The main attraction to the event for us was the Jack-O-Launch. They had people there who had built huge catapults and air cannons and were launching pumpkins hundreds of feet into the air and watching them explode. It was so funny to see these people in action. One group was even dressed in renaissance gear, reminding me of creepy things from my past.

After the events of the morning the ear doctor and I went shopping at the mall and I was pleasantly surprised at what a great shopping partner he is. He understands the give and take required. He never made me feel like I needed to rush around the store or like he was bored. It was great! I got a sweater for our family photo in November, a new pair of kahkis, and a white pullover that I've been needing for-EVER.

After our shopping extravaganza we went up to Greeley for the XXDL championship demolition derby. Neither of us had ever really been to a demolition derby, but the ear doctor really wanted to go and I thought that it sounded like a perfect, kind of white-trashy event to attend. I was so right. It was also SO awesome to watch. In case you've never been to a derby before, allow me to explain how it works. A bunch of old beater cars go into the middle of a dirt floor arena and line up all pointing outward. Then, the announcer counts down from 5-0. At 0 they all ram it into reverse and smash into each other. The goal of the round is to be the last car that can actually still run. They break drive shafts and axles and tires rip off their rims and the backs of the cars end up looking like crumpled paper instead of strong steel sheet. It is nuts! At one point one car ended up on its roof leaking gas. Very exciting.

Sunday morning the ear doctor and I went to church and I had a great experience there. After church I invited some of the cutest girls over to my house for dinner. I made an amazing dinner and everyone was very impressed. I burnt the top of my apple pie a bit, but it still tasted amazing.

After cleaning up the mountain of dishes the ear doctor and I watched our two shows (Law and Order: Criminal Intent and Crossing Jordan) and he let me fall asleep in his arms, which he really doesn't like to do, but lets me every now and then because he knows I love it.

Anyway, I really couldn't ask for anything more.

Getting high

My heart is racing

I can literally feel my heart wanting to jump out of my chest

My blood is pumping so fast it is making my eyeballs feel like they are pulsating, throbbing, expanding and contracting leaving my peripheral vision blurred and practically non existent

There is nothing like this

I just took my first in class test for grad school, and now I am surfing on the adrenaline rush

I wonder if this is how Olympic sprinters feel right after their run

A winning run

It has to be a winning run because I'm pretty sure I just beat that test into submission

Yes, finite elements, I AM YOUR DADDY!

Mirror Mirror

All semester I've been annoyed by this guy in my math class. He's the type of guy who is a little older than the rest of the students and therefore thinks it is alright to treat the class as if it were a one-on-one chat with the professor. He makes lame comments all the time that everyone already knows just so that he looks like a know-it-all. Really drives me nuts.

To the people that I sit with I have begun to refer to him as my class enemy. I did this once, totally as a joke, but it stuck. Now every time he makes a stupid comment my friends turn to look at my inevitable reaction. They always catch my mid-eye roll.

Anyway, for the last two weeks we've been working really hard on this project for the class. Everyone has to do individual work and use a program called MATLAB. Well, I came from an undergrad program where we never used MATLAB. As a consequence I feel terribly behind the learning curve for this project....a place I am REALLY uncomfortable. In an effort to totally immerse myself in this new language I talked to everybody about it. And by everybody I even talked to my nemesis about it.

Well, I dove right in and now have a program that works like a dream. When it all came together I think I teared up a little bit looking at my computer screen. That was a nerdy first for me.

I was walking out of the lab this morning with a skip in my step and my nemesis followed me out. I caught up with me and we started chatting a bit. I wanted to go because I was going to be late for Spanish class, but he wouldn't take a hint. Then he said, "yeah, I've only been learning MATLAB for the past couple of months and it's been really a challenge."

I said, "yeah, well, try the 2 weeks that I've known the program."

To my shock he replied, "wow, you must be very bright to pick it up that fast."

He is my nemesis no more.

I am so narcissistic.

Nearing Antiquity

So I didn't know it, but appearently I'm old.

Today in my Spanish class somehow the entire class was astounded by my age.

I didn't think that 24 was that old.

But, I guess when you are old enough to have been out of high school before other people even started it makes you old.

I guess I didn't get the memo on that one.

I'm missing a perfect Saturday

I've spent the last two years sitting in my cubical thinking about all the great people I knew and the fun times I had in my undergrad career. I remembered blowing off an assignment for a while just to talk about my friend James's latest crush, or spending a couple of hours trying to sort out the cosmos with Bryan, or sorting through stuff found on the ground/garbage heaps/DI shelves with Derek, or talking about shopping with Brit. Even now, as I sit through my 5th hour in the computer lab on a Saturday afternoon that all seems so rosy and fun.

Grad school, I have found, is not quite as much fun. And actually, if I am going to be totally honest with myself, undergrad had its moments of drudgery. Waking up early to rush to the lab through the gray and slushy snow...being unfairly graded due to factors out of my control....my personal incessant need to be the best at everything...not really great stuff.

Actually, now that I think of it I'm actually pretty excited about all this, because when it's all said and done I'm pretty sure this moment of agony I'm experiencing today lost in the memories of the friends I make here and the cool things I get to do.

That's a heartening thought.

Well,

back to MATLAB.