Thursday, June 23, 2005

My Apologies

I know I've been a crap blogger this week, but I am just so excited to be going home tomorrow that I can barely function.

Seriously, this week at work might have been my all time low on productivity.

I can't wait to hop on that plane tomorrow and have it whisk me away back to a world where everyone around me thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread and I get to be child-like and happy and not have to worry about rent and car payments and organizing group outings.

I wasn't one of those kids who was ever really "too cool" for their family. True, I was slightly embarrassed when my dad showed up at my high school wearing the bathrobe that didn't even come to his knees to drop off food for my food drive, but I never really thought that they were a pain or stupid.

Maybe it's because my mom is so funny,

or that she loves to go to Costco and eat samples,

or that she always has a great suggestion of what book to read.

Maybe it's that my dad can become best friends with a perfect stranger...Especially in line at the grocery store,

or that when he laughs really hard he rubs his hands together so fast it would make Mr. Miyagi jealous,

or that his eyes tear up from "allergies" when he thinks about me or my sister.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Completely Mistaken

I thought over the past year I had made some real friends at work. We laugh and joke and get along really well all day long. We go out from drinks (I get diet coke) after work. I've met most of their wives and kids.

I was mistaken.

I've walked around all morning, led meetings, stood up in front of rooms of people and none of them bothered to tell me that my fly was down the entire time.

I hate it when reality hits me like that.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Wedding Music

I'm trying to put the finishing touches on the music for my sister's wedding in 2 weeks.

In an attempt to broaden the selection base, I decided to ask my new roommate if I could borrow the 5 CDs that she used for her wedding 2 years ago. She said sure, and I brought them into work.


This music sucks SO badly. Honestly, sitting here listening to this crap makes me feel like I am sitting in the waiting room of my dentist. It's even giving me that quasi nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Why do people feel like since its a wedding we should use every single cliché, sappy, "romantic" song ever created.

And why, for everything that is good on this earth, do people think that the Simpson/Lachey combo is perfect for an important event like this? In the 3 discs I've listened to there have been 3 from Jessica and 2 from 98 degrees. SICK.

Plus there is WAY too much Celine Dion in this world to bring her into your special wedding day.

There is so much good music in this world my mind just reels to think of why someone would ever choose this over-emotional garbage?

Friday, June 17, 2005


In 3rd grade I was playing out in the field during recess. We found a ball and put together a little game of kick-ball.

During the first ups it was my turn to kick and my best friend's twin sister yelled something really mean to me. My feelings were so hurt that I started to cry and ran back into the building vowing to never play kick-ball again.

Last night I broke that vow.

I've been recruited into a kick-ball league.

Yep, you read that correctly, I am voluntarily joining a competitive team sport.

(pause for audible gasp)

Well, we had a double header last night. We lost the first game (barely), but it was ok because we all played really well. The ear doctor bought a pretty pink Disney princess bicycle horn to use as our mascot and motivator. You'd get a honk everything you did something great. I got honked twice!

Between games our coach brought Capri Suns and sliced us grapefruit (she meant to get oranges, but kind of blanked and got the wrong fruit).

The second game we played against a bunch of ex-frat boys and dominated them. It was poetic because they took one look at our team make mostly of PhD audiology students and thought they'd dust us off.

Hooray for us.

And kickball.

BTW our team name is GGWG which stands for "Glitter Girls and Warfare Guys." Yeah, we're totally hardcore.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Baby, now that I've found you I won't let you go

If you've ever been to Colorado and haven't seen red rocks, you really missed out.

Last night I went to see the Allison Krauss and Union Station concert at Red Rocks and it was amazing. Perfect weather, awesome venue, amazing musicians. They've been playing together for over a decade, and it shows. The music and dialogue were seamless. The seemed so comfortable performing in front of a massive audience. They didn't have an opening band, but they didn't need it. They played for 2.5 solid hours and I didn't look at my watch once. Just a great show.

The ear doctor and I arrived and hour and a half early to the show because we had general admission tickets. We ended up sitting 3rd row, slightly to the left of the stage center. They were amazing seats, and getting there early meant that we had time for one of my life's real passions...people watching.

Here is a list of the crazies that we saw last night:
  • Robin Hood. A guy sitting the row behind us was wearing a green felt cap with a long beautiful brown ponytail. All that was missing was a pheasant feather and the sheriff on Nottingham.
  • The wicked witch of the west. Huge crazy died red hair half pulled and balanced precariously on top of her head with a bright pink scrunchy, complete with brightly colored rainbow top, bright red eyebrows died to match and the shiftiest eyes I've seen in a long time.
  • The Tie-dye family. Mom, dad, 2 year old son, Grandma and Grandpa all wearing tie-dye. It looked like they tried to coordinate so no one got disneyland.
  • Visor boy. This awesome man was about 85 years old, completely decked out for the show with a visor tipped at a jaunty angle, and green slip-on canvas deck shoes. The really great thing about him was the look of complete confused joy on his face.
  • Pioneer mom. Dressed in a long denim skirt and a bonnet hanging around her neck.
  • Cowboy couple. Skinny, young looking guy with wranglers and an authentic white cowboy hat (complete with pheasant feather) heavily hanging his arm around this girl friend. She was also wearing wranglers, tight cleavage bearing top, perfectly accented with a huge Jack Daniels belt buckle.
  • Crazy no shoes man. For some reason the guy just down the row from us felt the need to take off his hiking boots and socks and air out his stinky feet. While it is true, we were in an outside venue, it is still public and slightly gross to do that.


Jill has outdone herself again.

Please, please, PLEASE read this post.

alec baldwin, three dates and a nubbin

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Unofficial member of the wedding party

Did I forget to mention that I caught the bouquet at Sarah's wedding? Well, I did.

This is my most hated part of a wedding reception. It's like those flowers make a B-line for my chest.

I caught my first bouquet at the tender age of 10. I was at the wedding of my dad's hair "stylist." I was wearing a pretty peach colored dress that had shiny hearts all over it. I was really excited that I caught it, but also a little embarrassed because everyone in the room looked at me and laughed.

The second one I caught was at a reception I crashed with some friends in college. I didn't know the bride, didn't know the groom, was there primarily for moral support of my friend who used to date the groom and was still not totally over him. When they made the announcement for all the single ladies to come up to the front of the room to catch the bouquet, I decided I'd just sit there because I didn't know anyone. My friend had other plans, she grabbed my hand with the grip of the incredible hulk and literally yanked me off my chair. I stood in the back with my arms crossed and waited for the fatalistic flowers to descend onto some poor fool. Well, the bride must have been a pitcher for the Yankees because those flowers torpedoed straight into my face. I think I actually scratched my cornea with a piece of babies’ breath.

My third brush with the symbol of impending nuptials was my favorite by far. I am not a jock. I am bad at sports and am proud to admit. My best friend in the whole world, Kathy, got married a year and a half ago. Her wedding was beautiful, small, on a quiet little lake in Washington. It was so intimate and personal. Everyone there felt special to have been invited. Well, the smallness of the wedding meant that when the time came to catch the bouquet there were only 3 of us in the requisite category of life: Me, her little sister (a collegiate basketball and volleyball athlete) and this stranger that Kathy's husband's cousin was dating. The three of us stood on the gravel drive below a beautiful wooden deck. Before the main event occurred, I turned to her sister and said, "look, we can't just let it fall to the ground because that would be tacky/bad luck so one of us has to catch it." She nodded in total agreement. We both slowly turned our heads up to see Kathy turning around for the backward hurl. As soon as the flowers left her hands, I could see that she hadn't given them enough gusto to really launch them all the way out to us. Kathy's sister wasn't making any effort to get it, and neither was the stranger, so I fully extended to get the flowers, slipping on the gravel and almost face planting with the entire wedding party watching.

On Friday I caught my fourth wedding bouquet. I was standing in the back again. Sarah threw it right in between Ja and I. We both moved away from the flying object of fate. I felt bad because there was no one behind us to catch it, so I reached out my hand and tipped it...making it mine. It fell to the floor, and I bent over to pick it up. I guess the entire room turned to the ear doctor to see his response. He turned bright red. The flowers were beautiful, so I really didn't mind too much catching it.

Now that I think about it I've caught the bouquets for my two best friends in the entire world. Even though I think "what it means" is kind of lame, I'm glad I got their flowers. I'll always remember the days they both were married and they'll have some pretty great memories of me.

Monday, June 13, 2005

I am an uber-nerd

Last Thanksgiving I flew to Utah to be with my family. On the way back to Denver I had quite a few more bags than I left with, and was short on space. I was wearing my huge navy blue pea coat and realize that I didn't want that bulky mass of wool around me for the flight. I stuffed it into a soft sided bag. I also decided that I was going to sleep the whole flight, so I wouldn't need my glasses. In one tragic, rash, thoughtless, swoop I bundled my glasses in my coat and shoved it into my soft bag, checked it at the counter and left to undergo the full body cavity inspection at airport security.

At Denver I waited patiently at the baggage turnstile. As my bag dropped harshly down onto the moving conveyor belt I felt a strange foreboding start to rumble in the pit of my stomach. I unzipped the bag, and there, on top, was a nice little flyer from the TSA informing me that my bag had been randomly selected to be opened, have the contents spilled out and had an employee perform the Mexican hat dance on my belongings.

Long story short....They broke my glasses right down the middle.

Fast forward to this morning. I woke up and my eyes were completely covered over by what I refer to as "eye boogers." After flushing my eyes with warm water to clear them away I looked up at myself in the mirror. Now I've never been stoned before, but this morning was my chance to see how I would look if I ever decided to indulge myself in some mary jane. Believe was not pretty.

I decided that I absolutely could not wear my contacts today, but that left me in a pickle.

No contacts, broken glasses, 20 minute drive into work.....what a dilemma.

Suddenly I had an inspiration.

I raced down to the kitchen and picked up the tape. I proceeded to huge a huge strip of tape to hold my glasses together. Yes, I was sporting this look into work today:

The really nerdy part about this story is that I was laughing at myself the entire ride into work.

Pretty dorky if you ask me.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Why most women like Sex & the City

(Don't jump all over me and think I'm a bad, bad sinner for this post until you read it through.)

Sure, they're scandalous. And talk about and do things that 30 years ago would have completely ostracize them from any decent society. But, there is something magnetic about the show. I can only really speak for myself, but I can't be the only one out there that feels this way.

It isn't the scandal that we're drawn to. I'm sure most people could go their entire life without ever seeing some of the crap on that show.

The thing that is so electric and intensely satisfying for women is the relationships between the 4 women. Seeing how they each have individual relationships with each other, while still maintaining a top level friendship is very easy for the viewer to relate to.

There is just something about seeing 4 girlfriends interact that is so appealing.

It is even the draw for the movie out right now called The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Last night Sarah, Amy, Ja and I went out. It was Sarah's last night as a single girl and we went to eat a very late dessert. We talked and laughed and for a moment I stopped, took in the moment, realized I would never forget where I was and who I was with. It was a movie setting and it made me realize how lucky I am to be one of those girls. And so, in honor of my 3 girlfriends, I've decided to do a character sketch of the 4 of us.

Sarah is the ballsy, gutsy, strong willed, always pushing one. She is the person who works out with a vengeance, who studies with a vengeance, who loves with a vengeance. She is strong and goofy and beautiful. Sarah is the most reliable person you'll ever meet. If she says she'll be somewhere or do something, she is there. On time. With bells on. She'll tell you how it is even if maybe you weren't really wanting to hear it.

Amy is crazy! Last fall she dated her husband for a month, was engaged for 3 weeks and was married. She is so much fun it is really hard to believe she is for real. She is always up for the next adventure and ready to take on whatever. She has had so many interesting experiences in her life that have formed her into the person she is. She can't tell a joke without messing it up, never remembers directions, and is one heck of a longboarder. She is so funny and loud and makes me laugh until I think I might wet my pants.

Ja is quiet....when you first meet her. She is so laid back it is almost unnerving. She is always good natured and I don't think I've ever seen her without a smile on her face. She can tell a great story that puts you right in the action. She is loyal and honest and always agreeable. She makes the best chocolate chip cookies this side of the Mississippi. She has a great sense of style and always looks like a fashion plate.

And then there is me. I'm the planner. I put things together and make sure everyone gets there on time. I'm the conservative, straight laced, inexperienced one. I'm loyal to a fault. I'm not ever the person who gets a crazy idea into their head that starts an adventure, and I'm the only one whose never hiked a 14er. I'm the friend that always tells the others to buy that pair of jeans that you maybe can't afford, but looks so amazing on you that you'd really be a fool not to get them.

And that's us. The 4 of us.

Wedding Bells

Right now Sarah, my best friend here in Colorado, is having her hair done for her wedding. She and Colin are getting married in a very small, private ceremony at 12:30 today. I am so proud of the people they are and who they will become. I feel honored to be their friend.

Tonight they are throwing a huge BBQ open house at her parents house, which I will attending in my freshly pressed white linen pants (hooray)!

Tomorrow they are having a big ring ceremony for all of their extended family and friends to share in and then a lunch reception. So classy, so their style.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The power of words

I've made a startling realization. I'm kind of surprised by how long it has taken me to learn this. I always knew that writing and words were influential, but I never knew that MY words could do so much.

I love reading because it takes me to places I've never been. Not only remote locations on the globe, but distant ideas and concepts I've never considered before. My favorite authors are those who made me think...who challenged my generally accepted assumptions. The ones who not only made me laugh, cry, and feel ill, but also scare me by making me stop and re-evaluate things. Introspection inducers.

I figured they had the ability to elicit those responses because they were Writers. Writers with a capital W. People who were talented enough to have someone pay them to Write.

I was shocked to realize that even though I am not a Writer, I still have the ability to move people. Granted, my most recent brushes with this phenomenon have been less that desirable, they have a least shown me that even this lowly engineer has the ability to inspire, motivate, impel, evoke, stir, encourage, enthuse, arouse and induce genuine emotion in my readers.

Pretty heavy responsibility, no?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Internal gangrene

This morning I was thinking about my friend.

We'll call him Coop for anonymity.

Coop is awesome. Lately I've been kind of ignoring him and while I was blowing my hair dry, a thought crossed my mind. I wonder if Coop is annoyed/mad at me for not calling or speaking to him in probably 2 months?

Immediately I put that thought out of my head because Coop is the kind of person who never gets hurt. He can let anything go. In the past 4 years I've known him I don't think I've ever seen him let someone else's carelessness or thoughtlessness get to him. The result is that he is always happy, low key, and SO much fun to be around.

It got me thinking.....

Why are some people just able to let everything go and other let things fester?

The polar opposite to Coop would be me, during college. I made a friend there who had a profound effect on me which still lingers this day.

When I first met her I found her was hilarious. She had a sarcastic side that just cracked me up.

Over the three years that I knew her there were a few times where she was scathingly mad at me. Even after I apologized profusely, and she said it was ok, it just wasn't. I was unable to sincerely ask for forgiveness. Because she felt the insincerity in my request, it was hard for her to acquiesce. There would always be a lingering coldness between us.

As a result of this tension that I created, I was not a very happy person. I felt like all of my friends were mean, selfish, and cruel. I was ready to launch into a full fledged fight with someone over nothing because I wasn't over the harsh feelings I had from the last argument. Everything built on the past misunderstandings. The festering grew exponentially because I never gave it a chance to air out. When I graduated I realized that it really wasn't the fault of everyone else, it was mine.

Over the past 2 years I've made significant effort to move closer to Coop. The result is that I am happier and a way better friend. Now I see that I can never spend my life with someone who is unable to truly forgive and forget my mistakes. I will undoubtedly mess up. I'm not perfect and it is inevitable.

PS I am truly sorry to anyone whose feelings I hurt in writing this post. My intention was to demonstrate my personal progress and goals, not defame anyone on the internet. Just as I see the growth in myself, I realize that others grow and change. I am happy to recognize that change in anyone.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Party Throwing Pro

Just so you all know, I have a strange and un-natural fear of throwing parties. I feel like I am SO bad at it. I get really worked up planning and getting the food perfect that I am just frazzled. Then, when everyone shows up I am so tense and worried that not everyone will have a good time. I flit around the room trying to get everyone there into an interesting conversion.

I always take things personally. If people don't show up to my party I think it is because they think I'm lame. Oh how I wish I could just realize that they probably just had something else to do.

Anyway, I am happy to announce that I threw to AWESOME parties this weekend! Hooray for me!

The first was Saturday morning. I threw Sarah's bridal shower and it was so much fun. Everyone had a blast, my decorations were ooh-ed and ahhh-ed over. The food was perfect. And even though the weather was crappy, everyone still had a great time.

The second was a dinner party last night. I invited 16 people and 14 showed up, so that was great. It was really fun because it was a bunch of people who didn't really know each other or hang out and they all got along really well and made plans to hang out together sans moi. Pretty perfect if you ask me.

After dinner everyone just kind of sat around and talked. Somehow all the guys migrated to the TV and watched Simpsons and all the girls migrated to the front room and we chatted about all kinds of stuff. I had to laugh at the situation and how totally stereotypical the whole thing was.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Happy Anniversary!

Today is my one year blog anniversary! Hooray!


Something weird happened to my personality while I wasn't watching. It just sneaked up on me and caught me totally unawares. I

think I may have become a hypochondriac without even knowing it.

Let me prove it to you.

About 2 weeks ago I had a strange, roundish, red mark on the inside of my left bicep. It wasn't black or blue, purple or green so it didn't match the rest of the bruises covering my body from falling into the hole (a whole different story). My immediate response was to go to WebMD and look at skin cancer. I actually thought I had a little melanoma growing on my arm that had appeared over night.

The second evidence of my new attribute comes to me today.

Yesterday afternoon my throat started hurting. Pretty badly. Last night I felt hot and achy all over. The ear doctor brought me pudding and popsicles and watched Gilmore Girls with me (even though he thinks it is lame). This morning I woke up and it still hurt. As soon as I got into work I hit up WebMD and I've decided that I either have early stages of Strep throat or tonsillitis. I even took my little LED flashlight into the bathroom to look down my throat for white spots on my tonsils.

It wasn't cancer, and this is probably nothing, but I'll keep you posted.