Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Take me out to the Ball Game....

At 2:45 pm yesterday my phone rang.  It was Sarah saying that she was done working in the lab and ready to take me shopping.  Lately  I have been on a clothes buying rampage.  I think this spree is a result of two main impetuses. First, I don't have a washing machine handy, so I am rapidly running out of clean clothes and second, wearing a new outfit makes me feel more attractive and I'm trying to work it with the mail man.  Anyway, lethal combination.  I threw all my cubicle stuff into two boxes, packed up my computer and labeled everything for my  move in 7 minutes and was out the door.  I met Sarah at her house and we went to Pearl street.  She found this really cool store and we did a mad dash, because we only had enough change for 18 minutes on the parking meter.  I got a really cute white skirt with a big pink flower on it, and Sarah almost bought a cool pair of black and white shoes but she had restraint.  Impressive.
After our mad rushed shopping, I came back to my house to get ready for the Rockies game.  I felt retarded "getting ready" for a baseball game, but I knew the mail man was going to be there and I still feel like I need to look my best around him.  I drove down to the game with Colin, Eric and Brett.  It was good to be with them. It felt right.  It felt normal.  I was happy. Because I am on the FHE committee, I had a reserved parking spot right across the street from the stadium.  It was the parking spot of my dreams.  Really, there wasn't a closer lot we could have parked in.  It was great.
We got our tickets, and took our seats.  Now, I really don't like to watch baseball and I find it even harder to get into the game if you can hardly see the people playing.  Our seats were the very farthest away.  Although, since they were free I can't really complain. The mail man was a little late, since he worked until 6:30.  He called me as soon as he got to the stadium and I told him how to get his ticket and get in.  When he got up to the stands I was talking with Colin, so I didn't really see him right away.  When I turned around there he was and my stomach jumped all the way up to the mile high seats in the stadium.  He was sitting on the bench next to me, but there was a space between us.  Just then, his sister came over and sat in between us.  UGH!  We talked for a while, but the mail man didn't say anything to me and I was getting a little frustrated. 
In an effort to calm down and just let it go, I decided to find a Pepsi.  As I was leaving our nosebleed seats, I saw a lady holding a Pepsi bottle, so I assumed you can get them in the stadium.  WRONG.  I walked around the whole stadium looking for that delicious nectar that would soothe my rumpled feathers.  I had to settle with a coke.  Gross. 
I got my soda and was walking back up the stands. I turned into my row and what befell my eyes, but the mailman with his ex-girlfriend sitting on the bleacher in front of him, leaning back into his open legs.  I was instantly enraged.  I felt betrayed and played and tricked.  Why had I let him get to me so quickly when he was obviously just a player who didn't look at me as anything but a diversion until he can get back to school.  I was really hurt.  The guys I was with were typical guys and didn't know how to truly help me fuel the fire within.  If Sarah had been there she would have been so mad for me her wrath would have been uncontrollable. 
In the 6th inning the three boys left me to go walk around and pee, so I was left alone.  The mail man and I chatted a little, but I could feel that I was being cold and distant.  It sucked.
The mail man and his sister left in the bottom of the 6th because some of her friends were at Cheesecake factory just down the street and she wanted to go say hi.  He wouldn't let her wander downtown Denver by herself.  That was nice. 
The boys got back and I was miserable, so we left between the top and bottom of the 7th. 
I was so mad on the drive home, but was able to keep it in until I had dropped off the guys.  When they got out of the car I just let it go.  Tears were running down my cheeks like a deluge.  I was so tired of letting people into my heart just to have them trample all over it.  I really needed to talk to someone, and the first person that came to mind was Eric.  As I was reaching over to my phone, it rang and it was him.  He knew I wasn't OK and called to tell me that I'm cool and that he was there if I needed anything.  It meant so much to me to have him say he was there for me.  All I really needed was a hug and for someone to tell me that (1) the mail man was a retard and (2) I am cool. 
I got home took a bath and then saw that the mail man had texted me.  It said:
"why'd you leave, you fair weather fan" (because the Rockies were loosing 12-2)
I had calmed down a little.
I tested back:
"I wasn't really into the game, plus I felt really stupid."
He tried to call, but I wasn't feeling like talking.  He left a message that said to call. Then he texted:
"why?"  (Like he didn't know)
I replied:
"Lots of reasons"
He replied
"Anything I can do?  I don't want you to feel dumb."
I replied
"Nothing you can do, just dumb girl stuff."
Then he called me and asked why I felt stupid.  In that instant I just decided to stop messing around and be honest.  No games.  I said, "well, I really like you mailman and I just felt like..."
Then he said he was coming over and we could go get a frosty together.  Good, I hate the phone.
He got to my house in record time and we drove over to wendy's.  We talked about everything under the sun except the conversation we started having on the phone.  We got back to my house and ate our frosty dairy desserts.  We finally got around to me saying that I felt retarded because when I walked up the stairs and saw her between his legs all flirty.  He said that none of that was initiated by him, and when she did it he didn't know what to do and he was worried about me coming back and seeing them like that and what message that would send.  He apologized for any awkwardness.  It was perfect, and exactly what Colin had guessed happened.  It was like at my birthday last year when all Colin wanted to do was talk to Sarah, but Gabby kept getting in the way. 
Anyway, the mail man and I stayed up until 2:30 talking again.  I am crazy about this kid!  We kind of talked about what was happening and we regretted the bad timing (since he's leaving so soon).  We decided that we would hang out for the next month, and then when he comes back for winter break we'd go skiing together. Timing is everything.  Why couldn't I have met him while we both were in Provo and we could actually date?  Now we are doing this kind of strange half dating, despite both of our better judgments. 

1 comment:

katezmom said...

Kate, You need to slow down and give yourself a chance to breathe and not expect other people to let you down. You are a great person and the idea that people let you down so quickly is usually in our own minds. Most people spend very little time thinking of anyone other than themselves. Keep that in mind before you get nuts. They probably aren't doing it TO you. Just dumb.