Monday, July 19, 2004

Weekend Report

Caveat Emptor:  This post will probably illustrate just how overdramatic and strange I am.  Just thought you should be warned.
Friday I left work early because I had nothing to do.  My company picnic started at 4 in the afternoon, and I wasn't really planning on going due to the torrential downpour, but Colin called and informed me that it was still on.  I'm not really one to pass on a free meal, so I decided I'd meet him there. It was pretty rainy, but it was still nice.  Sarah came for a few minutes, but had to go to work.  Colin an I just ended up talking the whole time we were there.  I don't really like going to work functions because its the same people I see every day and outside of work there really isn't much to talk about.  Anyway, it was just pouring down rain by the time we wanted to leave.  It was interesting to watch all the little kids play in the rain.  They would stand just inside the protection of the covered picnic table area and lean out until the water that ran off the top fell onto their outstretched tongues.  If I'd had a camera and were a photographer there would have been some really amazing moments caught on film.  I remember being that little kid who was just enthralled by rain.  What happens to us as we grow up and see a rainstorm as merely an inconvenience? 
After getting home and drying off a little I made some brownies for the BBQ that my friend Amy was having.  I'll have to admit that I made brownies for two reasons.  First, the mail man loves brownies and I invited him to go to the BBQ with me, so I thought I'd win some points there.  Second, Eric was the one who invited me to the BBQ, and the kind of brownies with the big chocolate chip chunks are his favorite.  I thought it might make him feel good to think that I made them for him. 
Anyway, the BBQ was supposed to start around 7:30 or 8.  The mail man called me at 7:30 to tell me that he'd be late because traffic coming home from work was a nightmare.  Ok, annoying, but understandable.  At 8 he called and asked me if his sister could come with us.  I was again annoyed because I wanted some time alone with him.  Anyway, they showed up at my house at 8:15 and we left. I forgot the brownies.  We got to the party house and no one was there.  I was really confused, but we decided to go out bowling with some other people.  I was pretty hurt that they just forgot about me and didn't tell me what was going on. At around 9 Colin called me and told me that the party had moved to another house.  Colin is my real friend.  He is considerate and would never let me down.
I didn't really feel like driving all the way back down there, plus we were already set on bowling, so I just decided to not hang out with them.  At bowling the mailman paid a ton of attention to me.  Yea!  Plus, I broke 100 and had 2 strikes in a row.  Pretty amazing huh?!?
After bowling a big group went out to the mailman's house and played a pool game called CRUD.  The mail man's ankle was still jacked up, so he didn't play.  We played ping pong and I didn't do too poorly.  By 1 am everyone had left but me, since I didn't drive there.  The mail man realized that he needed to drive me home.  We got into the car and talked the whole way home.  When we got to my house he just stopped to let me out.  My confusion was ended by that move.  Clearly, if he was interested in me he would have at least parked and talked more, or walked me to my door or something.  I into my house really disappointed.  I got ready for bed and as I was setting my alarm clock I noticed that he had called me twice.  I called him back at at 1:30 in the morning we talked for half an hour.   He said he was going to drive his car out to where I live right then because he needed gas, and it is about 20 cents cheaper by my house.  He asked if I wanted to go.  I told him I was already in my bed.  This move really confused me.  If he liked me why did he slow down just enough to let me bail out of his car at the drop off.  If he doesn't like me, why would he call me at 1 in the morning to see if I wanted to go on a gas run with him?  Strange boys.
Saturday I slept in, something I haven't done in FOREVER.  When I woke up, I just laid in bed reading until 11.  It was glorious.  I love starting out a day like that.  I finished True Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister.  It was pretty good, and the author has a really interesting writing style.
I rolled out of bed, and realize how hurt I had been by getting ditched the night before.  Amy called and apologized for how things turned out, so my hurt ego was instantly appeased.  But, I was still really mad at Eric.  He was the one who had invited me to the thing in the first place, and then he didn't even care when I didn't show up?  Plus, he knows me well enough to know that getting ditched by my friends is a fear I have.  Anyway, that added to a whole week of being conviently omitted from  his plans started to wear on me.  I started thinking that he was an inconsiderate person and I didn't really need the headache that went with trying to be his friend.  I drove over to his house and gave him the concert tickets that I bought for us back when we were together.  I told him that I had been really hurt by his actions the past week and he had proved to me that he didn't really want to be my friend.  I told him he could have the tickets and I was done working on being his friend.  I left and felt so good the whole way home because I realized that all that effort that I've been putting into trying to be his friend was now over.  I laughed out loud because I was able to release all that pressure. 
When I got home I got in the shower and got ready for the day.  When I was done, I had a message on my phone from Eric.  He accused me of being too immature to answer the phone (he had a point) and that he hoped some day we would be able to talk things over like grown ups.  He said he wasn't going to the show unless it was with me, so I could just have the tickets back.  I called him and we talked things out.  I apologized for over reacting and he apologized for being inconsiderate.  I think things will be better now.  I hope they will.  We're still going to the concert together, so that's good. 
I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning my house and making an apple pie.  The house looked great, the pie was kind of crap. 
At 5 I went to the park and played ultimate Frisbee again.  It wasn't as fun as last week, but I still played really well.  I'm actually getting pretty good at that game, which is exciting.  I played with no shoes and the ground was really wet.  Kind of gross, but still pretty fun.  This kid named Matt Bulter came to play.  He was really nice and funny and plays jazz piano.  We got to talking about music and I told him that Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday were my favorites and he said that he'd been listening to Ella on the way over to the game.  INTRIGUING.  If I wasn't fully smitten by the mailman I know I would have a crush on this kid. 
After the game, I met my friend Derek in Boulder for a benefit concert.  It was an AMAZING show.  The first group was a fiddler from Boston.  She was really good, had an amazing voice and made me want to go home and practice.  Her group sounded a lot like nickel creek, except substitute an upright bass for the mandolin.  The second act was a blues guitarist.  I was awesome.  To warm up the crowd they played Come Together by the Beatles.  It was cool because it was all instrumental until they pointed to the audience and we sang "over me."  It was really fun.  The only downer was that everyone got up to dance on the floor in the front, and the guy I was with didn't want to dance.  Too bad, I love dancing and I really wanted to get up there, but I felt dumb going by myself and I felt like I would have been a bad friend to just leave him sitting there by himself.  The last act was the one we had really come to see.  It was Alana Davis.  She did a great job!  I was really impressed by the whole show.  It was really diverse, but kind of all blended together.  I told the mail man that I thought the show would be out by 11,  and he told me to give him a call afterward.  Well, with encores and stuff it didn't get out until after midnight.  I still called him and he said he wasn't tired, so he came over to my house.  We stayed up until 4 am talking and laughing.  It was great.  Good news: I am completely crazy about this kid, and I'm pretty sure he likes me too.  Bad news:  What happens now?
Sunday I rolled out of bed at 8 am (yes, that is after only 4 hours of sleep) and got to church on time.  I made it all the way to the end of the third hour and totally fell asleep.  Sarah invited me to go on a hike after church, and it was the perfect day, but I just couldn't stay awake for one more moment.  The mail man followed me home from church to get a brownie.  Then, I went to sleep. I slept from 2-4.  Then, I read for a while and practiced my fiddle.  At 6 I called the mail man and we decided that I'd go to the BBQ that Amy was having at 7 and he'd eat dinner with his family.  Then, we'd hang out afterward.  He didn't want to stay out late because he had stayed out every night last week and it had made going to his work really hard.  I said that was fine. 
I went to Amy's house for the BBQ.  It was rad.  I love those people.  Eric was there and things between us felt normal again.  I was totally relieved.  I realized that I was the main catalyst for any hard feelings between us.  If I'm laid back and normal, he takes his cue from me and everything is fine.  Things only get weird when I overreact and act like a crazy person.  Colin made his AWESOME salsa.  I could eat it with a spoon.  It has chunks of avacado and mango in it.  Dreamy.  Anyway, I stayed there until 9.  I was the first one to leave and I felt really weird getting up and leaving.  I've never been the one to do that, like I've got somewhere more important to be or something.  I felt like a jerk, and when I left I caught a look on Eric's face that kind of made me feel bad. 
Anyway, I headed back to my house.  Amy, Erik, the mail man and I played 3 rounds of clue (all of which Erik won), and a game of Nerts (which I dominated at).  Then, Erik left and it was just the mail man and I again.  We sat on the couch and talked and we listened to some Spanish music that I'd never heard, but he really liked.  We cuddled and held hands and just laughed.  This is my favorite time in a friendship.  When everything is new, but you're sure that the other person is just as excited to be with you and you are to be with them. 
I'm really crazy about this guy.  I love spending time with him because he is so interesting.  We have totally different interests, but that is what makes it cool because I can talk about what I like, and he can teach me about what he likes.  It really works out great. 
Tonight we are going to a Colorado Rockies game for FHE.  There are going to be about 65 kids going to this thing.  I'm way excited.  I'm driving down with Eric, so that will be good to spend that time together.  I really like being his friend and I want him to know that I care about him.  I know he doesn't know where he fits into the picture what with the mail man and all, but I want him to know that I still love hanging out with him and I want him to feel free to call me up any time to talk or hang out. 


katezmom said...

Eric and Erik.. 2 different people?

Katie said...

Yep! Eric=my ex-boyfriend. Erik=Amy's finace.

Anonymous said...

Okay mail man is really confusing me. Can he not make up his mind or what?! The gas run call and talking until 4 am lead me to believe he wants to get with you, but why is he waiting so long, and giving so many other weird signals? Maybe he's nervous, because he likes you and is scared. That seems plausible. What do you think? -Your wonderful former roommate Anth

Katie said...

This is what Amy and Erik think:

Because he knows he is leaving to go back to BYU at the end of August, he doesn't WANT to like me, but he does. They think that when he sees me he is torn between what he wants and what he thinks is best. They think I should just confront him about what he is thinking. I see their point, and if he weren't leaving I probably would just ask him whats up. Since he is leaving, I'd rather just try to enjoy the time we have together before he leave. Try to minimize drama at all costs.

It is lame because every time we say good night, he freakin bolts for the door and never lets the situation develope to a potential make out. I think I'm just going to have to plant one on him to loosen him up. I hate being the initiator, but if thats what it takes, thats what it takes.