Wednesday, July 02, 2008

We have a new focus of my wrath

For a long time Anth0ny B0rdain was my one true nemesis in life. I'd only ever seen him as a quest judge on top chef or chumming around with the illustrious Andrew Zimmerm@n on Bizarre Foods. He seemed arrogant, rude, blunt and over the top critical. At one point he even gave me the impression that he thought he was "too cool" to each cockroaches with my dog Andrew Z. He exuded the overconfidence of a high school football quarterback and I just couldn't stand it. Every time I saw a promo for his show or heard a clip of his voice I wanted to stab something in the eye with a fremont (arrowhead).

However, this unfocused and unreasonable wrath has now been reassigned to a much more real, living person. Who? you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

The lady with the out of control Great Dane and English Bulldog. Just seeing this lady in our apartment courtyard wrankles my soul and elicits fiery venom from my heart. There are very valid reasons to dislike this person.

First, she has 2 huge dominating dogs who pick on Roscoe. NOT COOL in my book.

Second, these two huge dogs are way beyond her control and she lets them off the leash all the freakin time.

Third, and most annoying, SHE DOES NOT SCOOP UP THEIR POOP. Do you have any idea how big Great Dane turds are?

So, yeah, memo to her: Watch your back. You might end up with something funny floating in your orange juice some morning....or maybe I'll not smile at you across the courtyard anymore. One or the other.


CageQueen said...

It is totally unacceptable to not scoop your dog poop. Yesterday two people with obnoxious dogs (off their leashes, of course!) let them harass my poor, elderly, two-pund chihuahua wihtout ever once trying to restrain them. Maybe you can try leaving her a note on her door about scooping the poop, or maybe compalin to the apartment complex? I'm sure you don't want any drama, but it is also very unsanitary and unsafe-for her dogs, too!

Erin said...

Oh man that sucks. Yeah, I would maybe complain to the apartment complex too, or send them an anonymous note, or shovel the poo right outside her door so she steps in it when she leaves. Or maybe not that last one but kind of it does sound fun. Good luck with that!

the wifey said...

um, yeah... so not cool not to scoop your dog's poop. especially when you share grass with other people! we have a whole acre of our own here and i still want to run out with a poo bag when someone lets their dog poop in our grass. that makes me super angry and i try to make a scene of having to scoop it up before i mow the grass. maybe they'll get the picture one day. hopefully.
oh, and don't be afraid to "accidentally" step on the great dane or bulldog's toes every once and awhile when they are picking on roscoe.

jani said...

So a few years ago my parents found a stray great dane wandering on the freeway!?! My dad, ever the hero, picked Marmaduke up and notified the local vet clinics and such... the owner did claim the big bafoon, but not before him deposited the hugest turds (my mom lovingly referred to them as 'Volkswagons') all over their beautiful yard... so you have my sympathy- it is to-ta-ly NOT acceptable to not scoop poop, even if it is the size of a small car.