Friday, August 26, 2005


As I switched on my right turn signal to turn onto my street last night I should have been able to sense the dark cloud of gloom emanating from my house two blocks away. It had been a long, hard day at school, but that still didn't explain my lack of normal perceptive ability.

I parked my car, climbed up the steps to my house and opened my door.

The scene of my front room was jarring.

I stopped and waited a second to put the pieces together. Scattered all over our worn, fading hardwood floor were several manuals. The pages were bent and crumpled. The entertainment center was pulled back away from the wall ruthlessly exposing the long black cords. TV, stereo, DVD player and the mystery remote were lying lifeless on the ground, their battery covers yanked off and gutted; the life giving cells stripped from their plastic beds. My roommate was sitting in the midst of this disarray, wide eyed and frantic. She had the look of a cornered animal looking up at her attacker, full knowledge of what is about to ensue.

I came to this scene and after the moment it took to digest what was going on I called out, "FURY (my roommate) what is going on?"

In a low and confused tone she said, "It's the TV, it won't turn on"

My heart rose up in my throat and I mentally counted to 10 before I spoke again.

"Do you know what's going on?"

She started to explain, "well, I the people from Comcast sent a new box today for our upgrade to DVR. When I got the box I called Comcast to tell them to cancel the old one. I hooked up the wires, and now, nothing."

Oh sweet glory.....they had taken away our cable.

My world started spinning.

What was I going to do?

How was I going to make up my mind about what I like to do?

I will be totally out of the loop with the lives of my best friends: Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, and the Pitt/Aniston break-up.

I set my mind to work. I decided I would not be a victim of comcast. I would take things into my own hands.

I looked at the wires and saw that they had all be connected correctly.

I un attached and reattached things.

I routed it through the DVD player.

I rounded it through the box.

I tired connecting it straight to the TV.

I was becoming frustrated.

The light was leaving my eyes and sweat beads were rolling down my forehead.

Suddenly, I thought of something.

With my last, halting breath I called to my roommate, "FURY, press the 'input' button."

She raised her weary and sunken hand and with her last ounce of strength pushed the little red button in the upper right hand corner of the remote.

The joy and ecstasy I experienced in the next minute defies all explanation.

Suddenly the TV burst to life. The strident constant mock of static had been replaced by the sonorous tones of MSNBC.

Like the winner of a marathon race, the victory invigorated our bodies. Adrenaline pumped through our systems as we started a full out ceremonial dance thanking the cable gods. We rompted and jumped and yipped and shouted with every thankful cell in our bodies. Light shone down from above and we felt a moment of divine transcendence as we realized that not only could we watch TV now, but we possessed the power to rewind, copy, and program our viewing. The power, the control, the total euphoria of never having to miss another episode of Gilmore Girls again.......


Anonymous said...

I hope you never have trouble with your oven.


k said...

Good thing you got it all working. Since I won't be watching as much TV, I'll need someone to keep me posted on what I am missing!

I love the Gilmore Girls too! When I was in L.A. last year we did a tour of the WB Studios and got to visit the Firefly Inn!

The Unprocessed Project said...

I thought you were going to say you were robbed or something! Very funny/descriptive story.

Unknown said...

Don't take away our Gilmore Girls!!!!!!!!!! :) Now that you have a DVR, you can record all the old episodes and watch them again!!! :) Yay happiness.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's all I can say, wow.

a tall sassy gal said...

I would have died!

Anonymous said...

I am new to your blog. I love it.
ps. I would absolutely die without my Gilmore Girls, and Entertainment tonight. I am very glad you were able to get that DVR up.