Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sweet vengence

As I've remarked multiple times before, we live on the third floor. Up there, in the stratosphere, there are 3 other apartments with us. All 4 doors open onto the breezeway. I'm sure you all know what kind of relationships can result from sharing your space with others. In the best of scenarios, there is polite detachment. You occasionally smile and say hello and always pass by their door hoping the best for them.

On the other hand, there is the possibility for the development of a true arch enemy, good vs. evil battleground between rented doors.

Below is an overhead picture of the breezeway.

On either side of the open area is a set of stairs. The lower goes to the parking lot. The upper to Roscoe's little patch of grass/pissing ground.

Apartment 1 houses a very nice couple. I think they recently got married and they have a cat and they must have decent taste because I once ran into them at Crate & Barrel looking for furniture. Nice people.

Apartment 2 used to have a crazy old Italian guy named Bernard. He'd sit in his apartment all summer without hardly any clothes on and the door wide open. He worked at a golfing store and once helped us move a new entertainment center into our apartment. Kind of crazy, but just some harmless fum.

We live in apartment 3 and have the best door mat in the whole complex. (it's a gnome sitting under a mushroom...adorable and funny).

Apartment 4 houses our enemies. They are bad. Last Christmas we moved our old dying tree out of our apartment and let it sit in the breezeway for an hour and they called the office on us. They are lame and never smile and report every "infraction" they can.

Apartment 4 must go.

And Roscoe must sense my animosity every time I got by their door.

(Now's when I tell of the sweet, sweet justice that happened the other day.)

Roscoe's not that great on the leash yet. He's stubborn and will just sit his rear down on the cement and refuse to move if you want him to. My solution is to drop the leash and go on ahead without him. This is my way of showing him that he is not in control, I am. Eventually, he follows me down the stairs and out to his pee grass.


One time last week he pulled this trick. I let him go and walked down the stairs until he was out of my sight. I waited. and I waited. And then I realized that something wasn't going right. Furious, I tromped back up the flight of stairs and was met with my pooch dropping a steaming hot turd right on my enemies plastic green, fake grass door mat.

Vengeance is sweet.


CageQueen said...

You MUST tell me: Did you clean it up or leave it for them as a morning treat. I probably would've cleaned it up but not that well so that there was still some funk on the grass. And what a tacky doormat! We know all about weirdo neighbors. In our old house, the people wouldn't put their kids to bed till midnight and they kids would scream from 8 p.m. forward. Our current neighbors next door smoke pot all day lonnnnng in the world's laregst bong while the people upstairs keep their dog locked on the patio so all his pee runs onto my beautiful patio furniture. *Sigh*

the wifey said...

that is AWESOME! and yes, you must tell if you cleaned it up or left it there for them... did you give roscoe a big doggy treat after that?

Erik and Amy said...

They had to know it was coming with an astroturf mat...

Courtney said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. Just wow. I hope you cleaned up. Poorly. Ha! Take that stupid enemy neighbors!!!

In other news, the blue dress is from Target and it was half price
And when I bought it I TOTALLY TOTALLY thought of you. :D