Why my husband is a tease

Whenever I go somewhere that I know people are working on commission, and their sole reason to talk to me is to sell me something I tend to get a sheepish look on my face, avoid eye contact and shuffle past them.


The ear doctor? Not the case. Even if he is fully and painfully aware that there is no way we will be purchasing something he'll walk right up to the sales person and pretty much dare them to give their pitch. He'll ask questions, he'll make them think that we're actually in the market for whatever they're selling and just when they're really giving him the hard sell he'll walk away.


I think he likes to do it just because he can. That, and he really is genuinely interested in the product.


So, despite me standing beside him looking longingly across the room wishing for the slightest break in sales pitch to give us an excuse to run away, the ear doctor probes further.




For example:


Last weekend we went to the parade of homes. The houses were alright this year...nothing that I would spend $2 million on, but nice. One of the ear doctor's goals in life is to have a nice home theater. This works great for me, because I don't really like having TVs out in the main living area. The thought of hiding all that equipment back in a dark little room seems revolutionary.



As we walked into one of the home theaters I spotted the sales person from the installation company and instantly knew they were in for a surprise in my husband. As everyone else scurried past them, averting their eyes, the ear doctor walked right up and asked for a demo. He then asked about the locked control panels we'd seen throughout the house. Turns out they wired the entire house as well as the theater. At this point I could see the sales person start to get excited and I started to pity her giddiness. She took us all through the house showing the different features. Clearly she mistook the two of us apartment-rent-paying newlyweds for some kind of power-couple with trust funds because she started pricing out different options for us.



I just shook my head.


It was pretty clear that she had no idea she'd just been played by the master of all sales pitches. Hopefully this won't turn her into a bitter, audiologist hating wretch who sits at home, waiting by the phone and cursing the day she met my ear doctor.