Tuesday, December 07, 2004

9 things I do differently now that I'm not a psycho BYU co-ed Mormon

1. Pray. Since leaving Provo and having to decide who I really am and what I really want from my life I've realize that prayer has become a real discussion with someone I know instead of a lofty, detached, impersonal homage.

2. Lame BYU dances/activities/dates. Used to attend everyone and wonder if I was the only one who felt like they were weird. I haven't heard "Cotton Eyed Joe" or "Kiss from a Rose" or "Lady in Red" in two years and that is heaven.

3. Try to convert others. Nothing is as vain and shallow as being someone's friend just so that they'll espouse your same beliefs. Variety is what make life worth living.

4. Jugde others for showing skin. Seriously, what was I thinking. Who cares if someone is wearing a tank top and a mini skirt. They're cute. I cringe thinking about how mean I was to some people for wearing things I secretly wish I could wear.

5. Pepsi. Jeez, I love the stuff. Why didn't I ever partake during college. Stupid peer pressure.

6. Sarcasm. I used to be really critical/judgmental of everything and used hurtful words to make people feel bad. It just made others feel bad, me unhappy, and gave strangers a bad impression of my basic personality.

7. Sleepy Sundays. This usually involves at least a 3 hour nap every week. At school I always tried to use my Sundays to do churchy stuff. The 7th day is for REST people!

8. Feel Guilty. I used to spend so much time and consideration thinking about things I'd done wrong and how I needed to be a better person. Now I realize I'm doing a pretty good job, and it's alright to think that.

9. Opening my friendships. At BYU I always thought that I was cooler than some people. Now I realize that what really matters is to be nice to everyone. I'm lucky to be as confident and outgoing as I am, I shouldn't be so exclusive.

I had to make it 9 because I got bored before I got to number 10.

This post inspired by this really cool girl


Kevin Towns said...

I used to be madly in love with a mormon girl. I was too much of a pagan for her. Her name was Lisa Curtis. We lived in Fresno, Ca.. Her dad was host of "The Uncle Bill Show" in the 60's. The show that ran "The Mickey Mouse Club". She would be 50 now. I'll bet she still looks good.

She was also a "White Skinned Goddes". My only regret is I never got to "nail" her.


Alice said...

I love this!! I appreciate you and Kaycee’s honesty with your present situation; it is extremely impressive and inspiring. Do I also need to do a top ten about my no mo men (i.e. no more Mormon)? Ahh… you two have done it so well I will leave it at this. Although I will add that the two I have enjoyed the most is the ridding my life of guilt and having Sundays to do whatever I want… especially Sunday brunch. Nicely done Katie.

Anonymous said...

You definitely were not the only one at BYU to think that BYU dances/activities/dates were weird. It's refreshing to be in a place where those no longer exist. Maybe I'm just too high-and-mighty, but I don't think it's fun to get asked out on a date and find out that I'm expected to pretend I have a british accent or sit in the middle of the world painting at the airport so that I can eat dinner "on top of the world." I'm with you on this one.

sarah said...

9 Things I do differently since deciding that I really did want to be Mormon:

1) Pray: Amazing what a little chat with the big man can help you with or make you realize.

2) Lame church activities(ie. the haloween party, enrichment, ect): I've decided that Lame isn't the point. The point is somebody worked hard to put together the activity and I might as well support them, even if the activity BLOWS

3)Try not to show as much skin: As cute as it may be...what really is the point? I wore my first "modest" swimsuit in a long time this summer, and I was proud of it!

4) No more coffee or diet coke :( One of the hardest things EVER for me to quit, but ya know what after a while it wasn't that big of a deal. I think it is really annoying how people can justify drinking caffienated pop when it is just as bad for you as coffee. I mean c'mon, when are we going to stop justifying and just do what deep down we know we should?

5) Swear: Used to swear like a sailor, and all I can say is yet again...what really is the point? There are better words to express feelings that make you sound far more intelligent than 4 letters ever can.

6)Sunday: Used to work all the time, NEVER went to church. Now I try to do church things, and really I don't see what everyone has against it.

7) Feel guilty: I used to not feel guilty because I had shut myself out completely from anything church related, and I had rationalized my actions to the point where I didn't care what I did, and no matter how bad it was I really felt no guilt or remorse. Tell me what is worse...this, or constantly feeling that you could be better in some area of your life? Now, a pang of guilt once in a while reassures me that I haven't fallen so far away, to the point where there is no guilt to be felt.

8) Friendships: I used to be against having mormon friends. Now I am proud to say that the majority of my closest friends are LDS. The thing that bugs me though is that there are some things that we all know better, but we do it anyways. Why? why do we still try so hard to still be "cool" and walk the fine line, even though we are surrounded by those who have the same beliefs?

9)Share the gospel: when people asked me if I was mormon, sometimes I would say NO. why? embarassment, fear of rejection, who knows. What I do know is that it really isn' t that bad (as long as your not pushy ) and that one of the greatest people I know joined the church, simply because I decided to take a chance and open my mouth.

Katie, I freaking admire the molly in you so much, and I wish sometimes that you wouldn't try so hard to supress it. You have been a great role model for me, and trust me, being a rebel mormon isn't all of what it is made out to be.

Maggie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I like these lists. They are pretty interesting. I'm extremely nosy and these lists are extremely revealing. I love it. I hope you don't mind that I don't know you, and I read it anyway. (I linked from Kaycee.)

Blog ho said...

Welcome to humanity ;)

Katie said...

Sarah, in response to your comment:
I agree with you about lame church activities, but your perspective on really how lame a church activity can get is different from mine. Compared to what went on at BYU, the CU ward activites are freaking AWESOME! Even that weird Halloween thing was cool. I love that you are so proud of your modest swimsuit. If I looked as good as you do I would be seriously tempted to wear nothing but string bikinis all summer long. As it is, that's not much of a temptation. I know I should get "off the sauce" (Pepsi) but it's my one little vice. We all need something to keep us from being translated and that's mine. Church things on Sunday are great, but at BYU you can go from one church thing to the next with no break to recharge and really contemplate why Sunday should be special. I found myself caught up in the social aspect and not so much in the personal stuff. About feeling guilty....either extreme is really bad. I know you think what you experienced was worse (being numb to the qguilt) but I'm here to tell you that constantly worrying about how you fall short and not understanding the fact that we ALL fall short and that's ok is equally dangerous. That's why Utah has the highest number of people on prozac.

kacy faulconer said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm the extremely nosy person who accidentally posted anonymously up there. Don't be confused, there are 2 Kacys. (Kaycee and Kacy. I'm Kacy).

Anth said...

Katie, I have to say I agree with Sarah on this one. Don't deny your inner Molly.
Yeah, Utah Valley culture is so freaking weird. But don't confuse that a bit with Mormon culture. It's completely different. Tonight I am going to Enrichment. Not my fave thing to do, particularly since Heath will be home tonight. But I just feel so much better when I do the little (sometimes dorky) things that make up being a Mormon.
Seriously, you remember me in college. One of my nicknames was Midriff, because you all saw it so often. Well, I know it is amazing, but I like dressing modestly now. And I even like garments, which at first I *hated.* It's the gradual change of heart, and it's really cool to experience.
And I think it's hilarious that you are a Pepsi addict. My mom was a Dr Pepper addict for a while. Worse than you, it sounds like, because she drank a six pack a day. That's when she realized it was a little extreme. Ha ha

Alice said...

The greatest beauty of the Mormon religion, be you practicing Mormon or Molly Mormon, is the importance of family. No matter your differences, no matter your opinions, status in life family etc. family remains constant as the most important thing. If I had a top ten list of things I enjoy about no longer being Mormon I would include that my family still is and that I am grateful they are, and I am grateful they love me no matter what.

BTW... we Utah Countie peeps are okay. Wacky people are everywhere and in every religion.

Alice said...

I meant "be you practicing Mormon or Jack Mormon", not Molly Mormon... oops.

Kaycee said...

Katie... love your top 9. (You just didn't want to talk about the sex, huh? Me, either.) I also really like that you don't see yourself as morally superior to others. There are a lot of people who do, perhaps without even realizing it, and convey it transparently in their communications.

PS-I took "Country Swing" as a class at BYU and want to gouge out my eyes every time I even read the words "Cotton Eyed Joe."

Unknown said...

Thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and comment along with the 14 other commenters.

Katie, loved this post. It is REALLY tough to say if you disagree with any religious aspects of your religion, and in particular with people you know/other LDS reading your blog. I'm not exactly familiar with LDS, but it is a huge relief to know you are so darn NORMAL. It makes me like you more! I've grown up Southern Baptist, and have had similar experiences: constant evangalizing to others, being close minded, not showing skin, Judging others (my BIGGEST pet peeve), guilt inducement. It took me a long time to develop my own personality as a Christian.

As I told Kaycee, it's between me & God. He's the only one who can judge, and it's up to me to live my life to the fullest and be a good example as much as possible.

Maybe I'll do a post one day soon about it, I can't think of all the words to say what I did.

I'm proud of you for sticking to your beliefs and feelings. Don't know who Molly is, but maybe it's a good thing you're denying your inner her.


Katie said...

gff, you're so cool. Being a "molly mormon" means that you are really good, never make a mistake and strictly adhear to all the guidelines of Mormonism. Truth be told, I am pretty molly.

Sarah Marinara said...

I know I'm a little late on this... but I have to say one thing I've come to realize is that there are no Molly Mormons. We, the non-mollies (and I am a PROUD non-Molly) more often than not shove people into the Molly box and keep them there until they do something like get knocked up or become an IV drug user. Then, and only then, we can go - "Okay sister... you're not so bad after all." Honestly, us Non-Molly's can be JUST as judgemental as we think the Molly's are. I'm putting my soap box away now... :)

be said...

I know that I'm a self-interested jerk, and I'm sure my comment isn't welcome here, but I think this is a very interesting discussion. I especially like how everyone is straight-forward with their views, even though they seem to all contradict eachother. Here's what I think of it, if anyone cares.

SleeplessINPDX said...

I will have to say...that I'm not a molly...and I'm not a non-molly...I am me!! I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ! I love my callings...and I'm about as active as you can get when it comes to being single and in a family ward! LOL! At the same time I love Mt.Dew...I love hip hop/rap...I love to go to dance clubs...and I love to hang out with a group of friends and play pool at the local pub! I'm a Democract...and I watch rated R movies...Do I have Molly friends...yes...do I have non-member friends yes...but that is the cool part about it all...is that I can learn from both...and all of this makes me who I am today!