Wednesday, August 04, 2004

That's just how much I love my friends

So I've lived away from home now for 5 years, and this is the first year that I have really felt all alone and grown up. All through college I lived within a 10 minute drive of my grandma and aunt. They would take care of me, feed me when I was starving, give me a place of refuge when I couldn't handle the stresses of single life, you support.

Now that I am in Colorado and completely without family I realize how important they are to me. I also realize how lucky I was to have them during college. Also, I realize how important it is for me to have a surrogate family here. It is really comforting to know that I have people in my life who just sit there and let me cry on their shoulders if I really need to. No judgement, no attempted problem solving, just there to help and love me. Those people have no idea how much they mean to me. I don't know what I'd do without them...probably move away from here.

So yesterday I was accused of not working hard at my job (by the mailman) and it REALLY hurt my feelings. I'm not a slacker, and I hate that my job isn't more challenging for me. For someone to just make fun of the effort that I do put in really hurts. I'm frustrated by the fact that work isn't really hard and totally consuming, and to have someone say that's MY fault is hard to hear. Although, in reality it may be my fault. Maybe I should be doing more or working harder or finding interesting things to research or learn instead of just completing my assigned role to the best of my ability. Stuff to think about.

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