Per the request of Miss Marinara

So my hometeachers....

The actually aren't MY hometeachers, but my friend Sarah's. They came over to "teach" her on Sunday evening and since I was there I thought I'd sit in.

We all sat down in her living room and I tried to pretend that I actually thought it was going to be worth my time.

First of all I have to back up a bit. One of her hometeachers is an acquaintance of mine...We drove down to the temple a month ago together. He got lost and we were almost too late to the session. We talked about Ayn Rand and Objectivism the whole way and it was really interesting, but he comes off as a pompous jerk who is just really proud about the fact that he's in law school. We also talked about how I want to go to Stanford or Princeton for grad school and he decided that I was really smart (not really true, I'm just a really hard worker with big dreams)

They started off with that obligatory, "so how's everything going in your life" stuff. Sarah chatted for a while. I guess they'd never come to see her before because she was telling them about her major and stuff. When she got around to telling them that she was studying to take the GRE's he interrupted her and said, "well, you do hang out with Colin and Katie, two of the smartest people, so maybe some of that will rub off."

I was floored and not in a good way. Sarah is way smarter than I will ever be. The girl practically has a 4.0 in biochemistry. Plus to intimate that she is the "dumb friend" that only hangs out with us so that our "smartness" rubs off on her mocks the close and sincere friendship that all three of us share.

After they left Sarah and I talked. She thought he was obviously intrigued by me and found her uninteresting. I have two reactions to this:

1) Yippee! Now I have another conceited, unthoughtful, self interested person interested in me. My dream come true.
2) Here's a little tip, pal: Don't offend my friends en route to what you may think is a compliment for me. I'm the most loyal person there is and it really won't impress.

Big news

Yesterday I went home from work at about noon because my knee hurt so much. I spent the whole day laying on the couch with a bag of frozen corn on my knee watching TV and movies. It was really boring and the highlights consisted of Sarah being the great friend she is and bringing me dinner, and Kirsten coming over to look it over and give me her advice. (since she's practically a practicing physical therapist)

My friends Amy and Brett decided to get engaged on Monday....and they're getting married Nov. 12. Yeah, pretty fast, but it works for them. They've known each other forever and since Amy's parents are here for the month from Saudi Arabia, they decided to just do it ASAP. On one hand I think it is just crazy and insane to do, on the other hand I really admire their can do attitude. If you know its right, and there is nothing holding you back, why wait?

So the ear doctor called me again last night. He's such a nice guy, but I just really am not all that interested in him. We chatted for a while and he asked me out again. The only thing is that I have plans for the next 3 weekends. We decided that we'd hang out next Thursday. This will be good because there will be a lot of down time and momentum can kind of stall out.

Also, this other kid from the ward keeps calling me. He's weird. He suggested that we have a mancala tournament for FHE. To that suggestion I just raised my eyebrows, smiled and said I'd look into it.

This is a really weird situation for me. There are like 4 guys who are calling me, asking me out, being interested and I'm not really interested in any of them. That's never really happened to me before.

I hate blogger

Why is it every time I write a really long, interesting, and well written (all in my estimation) post that blogger decides it is the best time move like molasses. Its like blogger knows how impatient I am and can sense the exact moment I will give up and just exit before letting my wonderful new post come up.

This will in no way be as good as the original. My second attempt never is as good as the first.

This weekend I did the following:

• Friday night slumber party with the girls during which we paid homage to the great artists of our generation including, but not limited to, the following: Debbie Gibson, Lisa Loeb, New Kids on the Block and Whitesnake.
• Saturday I got my friend Kirsten (the mail man's sister) flowers and balloons because she took her PT board exam
• Volunteered at the nursing home playing bingo. I never won which makes me think that the old ladies were somehow cheating to win the scary stuffed animals and broken lamps.
• Went to a housewarming party where I had to tread the line between being friendly and making sure my friend knew I'm not really interested in him "that" way.
• Got accosted by bleeding heart tree huggers who wanted me to miss out on seeing the elephants at the circus. Some people have seen Dumbo a few too many times.
• Went to the circus with a really nice guy who will hence forth be referred to as ear doctor because he is studying audiology at CU. He reminds me of my friend Alan from school, so I instantly felt comfortable around him.
• Made orange rolls for family dinner.
• Found out family dinner was cancelled.
• Cursed my friends for not being considerate enough to call and tell me that dinner had been cancelled before I woke up 1.5 hours early to start making said orange rolls.
• Ate so many orange rolls I was ill.
• Thought of my Aunt Sandy and how much she loved the rolls and how much I am really going to miss her at Thanksgiving this year.
• Had dinner with Sarah and Colin.
• Got offended by the hometeachers.
• Went over to the Boy's house for dessert.
• Fell asleep reading with my contacts in.

That about sums up the weekend.

I am a lucky, lucky girl

Just so that they whole internet knows, today is the third day in a row that I've scammed free lunch! Pretty impressive, huh.

Unfortunate Side Effects

So I really like writing this blog. I think it is a good exercise for me to practice my writing, because in general I consider myself a typical engineer with poor verbal skills.

The thing is, I spend half an hour trying to think of the interesting things in my day to write about. Then, after I've hashed through all the even remotely interesting events I figure I've told them all. The result of this mentality is that I am actually growing more distant from people who don't read my blog. When they ask me what's going on in my life I can't think of anything new to tell because I've already told everything to my blog.

So I guess, if you miss out on reading this, you're probably going to miss out on a lot that is happening with me.

Although, now that I think about it, if you're reading this you probably aren't the person I need to be explaining this to.

Oh, no, now that I've confessed this to my blog I probably won't tell the people who aren't getting the stories about it.

They'll be in the dark about being in the dark.

Viscious cycle.

23 going on 14

So today my co-worker asked me if I liked this guy that we work with. It totally reminded me of middle school.

You know, when you liked someone (person A), but were so scared of rejection that you sent your friend (person B) to slyly ask their friend (person C) what person A would do if you (person D) ever asked them out. It was confusing and difficult and in the end it was a miracle if through all the chain of communication you and person A ever ended up having your parents drop you off at the mall at the same time.

Well, I'm 23 now and this morning felt like I was playing that same old game.

Lame.

Also, last night at FHE I had totally prepared myself to ask this guy to go to the circus with me on Saturday night, but when I got there and saw him I wimped out. I'm pretty sure that if he doesn't already have plans, he would totally want to go out with me, but I just didn't feel like putting all the effort in to actually ask him out. I guess I'm just lazy. Maybe if I get my friend to go up to him and ask him what he would say if I hypothetically asked him out for Saturday. Now there's a thought....

Every day comedians

So in the past couple of days some people have said some really funny things unintentionally:

1. My sister's roommate Heather was telling about this guy that she knows. I guess he was born in Italy, but moved over to the states when he was 4. She was describing how you could hardly tell that he'd been born over seas because he was as American as the come. She said, "he only lived over there when he was little, so he hadn't really become italicized." So he didn't walk at a slant and have curly ends?

2. My grandma is a really into gardening. Sunday I went over to visit her, and she was really excited about the new tool she bought. She was describing it to me and said, "it's a long pole with a hooker on it." I didn't think you could buy those at the hardware store, I thought they were more of a strip club or hip hop artist living room kind of thing.

3. Last night an ambulance was speeding past our house and my roommate said, "Something good's not happening." I'm pretty sure she meant to say, "something not good is happening" but the way she said it made me think maybe she had some kind of psychic fortune telling powers. Maybe I should have her read my tarot cards or something.

Its the little things...

That get me every time.

About a week ago we got a free newspaper delivered to our condo. Instead of delivering it on our front porch, they just dropped it off in the back right in front of our garage. Every day for the last week I've run over it about 4 times a day, leaving for work, coming home from work, leaving to hang out, coming home to sleep, and even though it is annoying, I don't bend, pick it up and throw it away in the dumpster that is literally 4 feet away from it. I don't know why, I just don't. Maybe somewhere in my mind I hope that Amy (my roommate) will pick it up and throw it away. She probably thinks the same thing.

Another thing: I've lived in Colorado for almost a year and a half now and I still have yet to get my Colorado drivers license. I know exactly where to go, and if I strategically plan my timing, it really wouldn't take more that 20 minutes to just go get my photo taken and become a responsible citizen of the state. But, alas, I don't do it.

As a final testament to my inability to handle the minutiae of my life, my fouton is still being held together with a screwdriver. I lost the little metal dowel that was supposed to hold it upright, and, having no other material just laying around, I grabbed my roommate's Phillips screwdriver and rammed it into place. It works like a dream, and is actually really handy because now we always know where the screwdriver is. The only thing is, it looks really strange just sitting there, protruding from the back of my furniture.

I don't know why I don't just take an hour between standing at the fridge and realizing I have nothing to eat besides year old mayonnaise and half a jar of marichino cherries and that all important rerun episode of Friends to go out and do these things, but I don't. I am an enigma.

Mad scientist with one googly eye

I am the oldest cousin on my mom's side. Tyler, my cousin who is slightly younger, and I were the best of pals, confidants, and more often than not, conspirators in dastardly plots. We perfected the manipulation of the younger siblings and cousins. We were the brains behind many activities that generated parental and grand parental frustration: hanging from the stairs upside down in the basement, tearing the sofas apart to make mazes and play gerbals, using paper towels and plaster of pairs to make masks that ripped eyebrows off in their removal, ect.

Every summer we would all congregate at my grandparents house for a week of pre-adolescent capers. We would usually spend all day at a sports camp, hosted by BYU, or some other kind of summer camp designed to give parents who are accustomed to a whole kid-free day a break from the constant requirement of child entertainment.

The most memorable summer was when Tyler and I were enrolled in a science camp.

(I know you are thinking, "this girl is the biggest nerd ever" but I don't care. It's true, I am a nerd, I've embraced it and am learning to love it)

Anyway, the name of the camp was "beef heart, sheep eye and cow tongue." Within a week we were planning on dissecting all of these things. In retrospect, I think that is really gross, but at the time I was so excited I could barely contain myself.

On the first day of class we showed up and were given a white box. On the top of the box there was a black and white label with a cartoon of a cow looking very happy (clearly he no one told him that we would be cutting out his tongue and very carefully filleting it) and our names written in black Sharpie marker. The box was a foot and a half square and about 8 inches deep. I opened it and was thrilled by its contents: rubber gloves, test tubes, tongs, goggles, a lab coat, a rack to hold out test tubes and a spiral bound book filled with experiments we could do at home.

I'm sure the class was really interesting, and I even remember bringing home the lens of a sheep's eye to show my grandma, but the best thing Tyler and I got out of that class was the box of scientific treasures.

The best experiment we ever did, was on my sister. We made her eat a whole sleeve of saltine crackers, and then pee into a cup. We then did experiments on it to determine what she had eaten. I guess it was a redundant experiment because we knew in advance what she'd eaten.

Anyway, the love of doing experiments has stuck with me.

My latest experiment is more in the social arena than in the scientific.

I've decided that I am going out to dinner with a different person once a week. I'm starting with the girls in my social circle that I don't really know all that well. I think it is really important to make really connections with people instead of just hanging out in a group. I want them to know that I care about them and I am there if they have a problem. Its always fun to do things as a big group, but it is only one-on-one that you really get to know someone and really become friends.

Anyway, last night I went out with Em. She is such an interesting girl, and surprisingly a lot like me. She went to BYU and understands the importance of working hard and doing things well. I was a little apprehensive because she dated the mail man (from about two months ago) and almost married the kid before I hung out with him. I didn't know what she thought about the whole thing. Anyway, I was dumb to think that she'd care at all about that stuff. It was a really fun night and it prompted me to make an addendum to my experiment.

I am going to try to open up to these people; let them see my weaknesses as well as my strengths. I have a really hard time admitting that things don't always go as planned for me. I hate admitting that I get lonely.

So that is my latest experiment. I have no idea what the goal is, and no way to measure the findings, but at least it is in action. It should be interesting, even though there is no dissection involved.

Changing of the Guard

I like musicals. Growing up my mom, my sister and I would routinely curl up under two inch thick blankets, turn on a great Rogers and Hammerstein classic and get lost in a world where people break into song and choreographed dancing at the drop of a hat. My dad would retire to the basement and watch a football game and (I'm sure) wonder how he was going to make it through life surrounded by so much estrogen.

Anyway, I have practically every song from the more popular musicals memorized. I always thought they were entertaining because they were a break from reality.

Bad news, I am a character in a musical.

Alright, so I don't burst into song about how the butter ran out or have a mental breakdown when someone leaves time on the mircowave (wait a minute), but I do have certain "tendencies."

Have you ever seen South Pacific? At one point in the show the main character gets her heart broken and there is a shower scene where she is shampooing her hair and singing, "gotta get that man right outta my hair."

Well, last night was my final rinse of all the crappy stuff I've been going through.

I bailed out on FHE (I know I shouldn't have, but I didn't really want to see anybody), and went to Wal-Mart. Now, usually I hate Wal-Mart, but they have cheap fabric and for my "shampooing" I needed lots of fabric.

I bought tons of fabric to really decorate my room.

I moved into my new place last May and haven't gotten around to really making it my personal space. I've never been able to stand white walls, but they wouldn't let me paint at this new place. Out of laziness and frustration I just decided to put up with it.

Also, I felt to busy to really dedicate time to doing it. I always felt like I needed to be out hanging out with people to fill my time. You know how it is; when you break up with someone all the sudden you have tons of time and you don't know what to do with it all. You're used to spending all that time with someone else, so it is hard to just be on your own again. I've been struggling with this since May, but last night I washed that all out.

I turned off my phone and spent the whole night by myself re-doing my room. Actually, I didn't re-do it so much as do it, since I hadn't really done more that unpack my boxes since May.

Anyway, now my room looks great and feels like a place I want to just hang out.

I'm glad I finally "washed that man right outta my hair."

An ode to Norah

No other Thursday
could be half so grand
as yesterday's was,
throughout all the land.

After leaving work early
I chanced to walk
Down Pearl Street in Boulder
past bums, street performers, and artistic renderings in chalk.

I went to my store,
Common Era, its name,
But found no good deals,
A crying shame.

The day was so nice
the weather so fair
I kept my spirits up;
Felt the breeze in my hair.

I went to another place,
Abercrombie by name
And found some shirts to die for
Playing the capitalist, consumer game.

As I left the store
with a feeling of triumph,
I noticed a girl:
Covered in tattoos and piercings, looking definant

She noticed my bag,
then my Norstrom pants and Jcrew sweater
I'm sure she thought
that her choice in life was better.

Hopped in my car,
Raced home like a jet
I was going to have
the best night of my week yet.

My friend Derek and I
had great plans ahead
I grew giddy as I realized
what would happen before I returned to my bed.

We drove out to Red Rocks
the best venue ever
We sat in anticipation
He tried to be clever

The show started up
Norah looked like a dream
When she sang "Don't miss you at all"
I thought my heart would scream

The night was cold,
Freezing in fact,
But she still did an encore
She's a complete class act.

As we drove home from the show
I took a moment to think
Of all the great people I've known, loved, and learned from
And my fears started to shrink

My life is great,
I've got great friends who care
Norah Jones will never know
Of what her concert made me aware.

Gettin the Digits

Last night my new friend Brittany and I went out for dinner.

Brittany is a beautiful girl,

And a sorority girl in the most popular house on campus,

And a CU cheerleader (or was up until this year).

Anyway, we went to dinner and had a great conversation.

After we'd paid for dinner, we were getting all our stuff together to leave, and our waiter stopped us.

For a moment I was afraid that we hadn't paid enough or something, but then he says to Britt,"I never do this, but you just have a really great smile." And hands her his number written on a coaster.

I was floored, and so was she.

It was right out of a movie. Who does that in real life? Who does that ever really happen to?

After dinner I went to institute. Just before class I noticed this kid that I've talked to maybe twice. He's new to Boulder, and seems kind of quiet, but really really nice. Anyway, emboldened by our experience at the restaurant, I just walked right up to him and asked him for his number. I figured that he might want to hang out and meet some new people some time. Anyway, when I asked him he was really pretty shocked. He asked me if I was actually going to use it, and I said of course I was. Then I asked him if that was okay (fearing that I may have been slightly forward or something). He said sure.

It was a really great class, and afterward the teacher (Bro. Peterson) asked me to come up and talk to him. I guess his wife knows a girl who needs a friend (not in a pathetic, "I'm a loser and no one likes me" way, but more in a "I'm new to the area and want to get to know people way"). Anyway, I was so flattered that he thought of me. He said that I was always really friendly and know how to make people feel cared for. That made me feel all good inside.

After class Sarah and I stood out in the drizzle in the parking lot and talked for a while. She is the best friend a girl could have and knows just how to make me feel better. She's the best.

Miss Spontaneous

So this morning I checked the flights, and I found a ticket for $180 to Spokane this weekend, so I bought it.

I am so stoked to be going home this weekend!?!? Maybe I'll go out to Greenbluff and pick some apples or just sit home on Saturday night and watch a chick flick with my mom. It's going to be great. I love going home.

Plus, I get to see my bff Kathy and her wicked cool husband Matt.

I haven't seen them in AGES!

So....Gilmore Girls.

Can I just say that I really don't like what Rory did. That is bad. Plus, I think Lindsay is just such a cute girl and I was beaming when she made the roast beef well. Rory is a bad girl. Plus, Dean really isn't that cute anymore. They need a new hot character on the show for Rory so she can get her mind off that loser. Its too bad Triston has his own show now because he is dreamy and if he came back and acted nicer that'd be pretty good. Previews for next week look really good, but I really feel bad for Lindsay because she obviously has no idea what is going on and still really loves Dean.

I was planning on watching the episode with my friend Jocelyn at her house, but she got tied up in Denver, so I had to watch it at Eric's house. I just laid there curled up on the couch and enjoyed. Eric was really cold and mean to me, but what's new. That kid is all over the place. I just wish things were different. He feels that it is totally alright to just treat me like crap because he knows I'll forgive him. He'd never treat anyone else like that...Just me. I'm such a lucky girl.

My aunt sent my photos of Alta and Snowbird and they are getting DUMPED on! Hooray for skiing!

Another Deflated Crush

So I thought I had a crush on this guy that I work with.

I was wrong.

We went out to lunch today, and I just wasn't really feeling the right vibe. He's a really cool guy, and will be a great friend to ski and longboard and play guitar with, but I don't really see any kind of romantic thing happening there. Too bad, it was nice thinking there was potential somewhere.

Anyway, I wore my new white James Perse shirt today (dressing to impress) and I totally spilled a gobber of salsa on my right boob. Stupid and really kind of annoying. Luckily this shirt is double layered. I just turned it inside out and now it looks like one of those cool shirts that is trying to be edgy by putting the stitching on the outside. I'm so resourceful.

The cool thing about today is that it is raining.

Beautiful rain down here means it is snowing up in the mountains creating a nice base for skiing soon. I am SO excited.

I got an Eldora pass. Eldora isn't the biggest or steepest of resorts, but it is only 30-45 minutes from Boulder, which means I can ski in the morning during the week and still get to work, kind of like Sundance for Provo.

Tonight is the season premiere of Gilmore Girls! I have to admit that I am completely addicted to that show. It is the only hour of TV that I really look forward to watching (and usually the only hour that I actually do watch). I'm skipping Enrichment to watch it, but I think that is alright since all they are doing is painting a pot and planting a flower; both of which I already know how to do fairly well.

Advice needed

So here is the sitch:

I have a really close group of friends. There are about 10 of us. One of them is my ex-boyfriend, Eric. We've been through all the weird post-dating stuff, and now we're back to being friends. I consider him one of my best friends here in Colorado.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I met this girl. She is perfect for him. I steered them together for an initial converstaion.

Things totally clicked for them and now they are in the preliminary stages of being "together."

She is such a great girl and I am really hoping that it works out for them.

Anyway, he hasn't told her that we ever dated.

When we hang out in a big group I find myself wanting to tell stories or say things that betray how Eric and I dated, but I don't think it's my place to just tell her like that.

If I were in her position (starting to date a guy and hanging out all the time with a bunch of his really close friends all the time) I'd totally want to know if one of those people were his ex-girlfriend.

Last night I asked Eric if he was going to tell her about it and he pretty much told me that he wasn't.

Now I kind of feel like I'm an accomplice in hiding this information from her.

I'd totally be fine with it if I didn't really like the girl. I wouldn't want to be the last one in the group to know that about some kid I'd been dating, so I assume she wouldn't either.

What should I do?

Freakin Hilarious

So my mom emailed this to me this morning, and it made me laugh out loud. I don't know if you'll get it unless you've had a real job, but maybe you will.

honest boss

What to do...What to do

Here's a situation most of my co-workers can't relate to:

This guy I work with constantly refers to me as his angel. I don't really like it, but I don't really know how to tell him to knock it off because he's a pretty good friend. Plus, he's been doing it since last November when we worked on a different program together. I didn't really mind it in the beginning because I thought it was kind of funny, since I would hardly catagorize myself as angelic. Now it kind of irritates me, but I let it go on so long that he thinks its alright. Do I just suck it up and let some 40 yr old guy call me his angel? Sometimes I hate being a girl in a male dominated field.

Things that annoy me

I can't think of anything remotely interesting going on in my life to write about today, so I thought I'd compile this list. Maybe getting them written down will help, or just be funny.

1. No Styrofoam cups. Today I went to get my morning cup of hot chocolate and there were no cups to be found. This is particularly annoying because I have really been meaning to bring my own mug in, but keep forgetting. I think I didn't get a cup today because I went to get my drink of choice at 10. As someone who doesn't drink coffee, and therefore doesn't get their cup right when they get into work, I feel oppressed. Just because I can wait a couple hours does not mean that I should have to go without because there aren't any cups left. Life is unfair.

2. People who cook a nasty smelling lunch at work. Can't these people tell that their strange concoction in the microwave infects the air for all us poor fools subjected to the air circulation system on the same floor? Have they no shame?

3. People who leave time left on the microwave. Is it really that hard to push the cancel button after you prematurely removed your food? Honestly. Do you realize that I am really annoyed when I glance over at the clock to determine how long it is until the new Gilmore Girls episode comes on and all I see is :29 blinking back at me? Ugh!

4. Roommates that automatically move my clothes from the washer to the dryer. Alright, this is a SERIOUS problem. I am tall and most of my clothes can't be dried. Also, I am one of those people who read the label in every shirt and follow the instructions. If it says "wash cold lay flat to dry" my clothes are cold and damp on the floor of my bedroom. Just because all they wear are Cotton/poly blend, oversived T-shirts that can basically be washed in any temp, with anything else, and dried in a furnace does not mean that everyone does.

5. People who talk to me while I'm reading. Hello? Can't they see I'm busy and don't want to be disturbed? I never thought that someone would actually think it is okay to run in and jump on my bed and strike up a conversation while I am obviously engrossed in a book, but it happened with my current roommate. Dumb as a brick, that one.

6. Changing the channel on the TV when I get up to go to the bathroom. Duh, like I'm not going to notice what you just did?!?!

7. Dropping in at a friend house because I figure they probably don't have anything to do either and being shocked to find all my friends there, hanging out, without me. They don't even think to call me if I'm not there. Tres annoying.

8. Making plans with someone and instead of them calling to tell you they can't make it, they just let it slide by without admitting that they bailed on you. This makes me feel like I wasn't important enough to make the effort to call and cancel on.

I'm sure there are more, but I'm off to lunch.

Free stuff = my dream come true

Well, last night I joined the ranks of poor saps who gave up 2 hours of their life in order to get something for free.

I went to a time share presentation.

Granted, it wasn't your standard "buy a week every year at the same condo for the rest of your life" set up, but it was still a timeshare.

First of all, I'm only 23, so I had to bring someone with me who was over 25. I ended up taking my friend Kirsten with me. We had to claim to be "partners." (lie #1: I'm lesbian)

We sat and waited for 20 minutes while watching old performances of Bill Cosby projected on a big white screen that reminded me of film strips in high school.

After the main guy gave his little talk and we watched a 10 minute video about how great it is to "own" your vacations instead of "renting" them, we were ushered out to talk to a representative.

First thing he asked us was how we knew each other. We looked at each other and said in unison "roommates" (lie #2: I live with my girlfriend)

We listened to his whole talk, and I pretended I was really interested. (lie #3: I take vacations all the time and would be interested in a time-share)

At the end he asked if we could afford the 10% down payment and I said sure. (lie #4: I have $1,000 to just throw into the wind at the drop of a hat)

I ended up saying that I just couldn't do it. We picked up our free $20 dinner, plane tickets to Orlando and a 2 night stay in a hotel and left.

All in all I claimed to be a lesbian living in sin with my girlfriend who travels all over the world and has $1,000 on hand to spend at will.

All that for free plane tickets.

My soul is as black as a woodburning stove.

Eh, I'd probably have done it for the $20 to Red Lobster.

She's my pal, I don't begrudge her a boyfriend

So last night I found out that over the weekend while I was gone two of my friends decided they were going to date.

Amy W and Brett.

They dated over a year ago, but Amy ended things and Brett has patiently waited for that whole time in the hopes that she'd come around and realize how much she cares for him.

Well, for once, life worked out like the movies.

Amy had a complete change of heart and asked for him back and he readily agreed.

Now they are together and so happy.

I'm thrilled for them both because Brett is crazy about her and Amy, I guess, is equally into him again.

The only kind of crappy thing for me is that now everyone I know is dating someone.

I really don't want to be selfish and think of myself so much, but I'm human, so that's just what happens.

Every Sunday my group of friends makes dinner together. We've been doing this for almost a year now. I use it to gage what's going on in everyone's lives. Its kind of like our "Central Perk." Boyfriends and Girlfriends come in and out, but the core group remains the same. Anyway, the best I can describe the situation is by using friends. Ross is with Rachel, Chandler is with Monica, and Pheobe has some guy who wasn't part of the group, but has now become a critical part of the group. Joey has his flavor of the month, and I'm that character that's missing. I'm like a 7th friend who is there, but who isn't. What a pain.

Even my 5 year old niece has a boyfriend at school. She was telling me about him this weekend while I was in Seattle and then she asked me why I didn't have one. UGH! Even 5 year olds agree that I should be able to find someone worth actually spending time with and getting to know.

Have I become some kind of strange hybrid of girl. You know, the girl who makes more than 50K, drives a brand new car she bought for herself, likes to watch football, can cook a mean apple pie and who has only a slight problem with commitment?!?!

Go BUFFS!

This weekend was AWESOME!

I headed up to Seattle Friday morning to watch the CU/WSU game. Friday my parents and I went shopping in Downtown Seattle. We went for lunch with my brother and my best friend from highschool, Brooke. It was SO good to see her again and catch up. She's dating an Italian who only wears Gorgio Armani (a perfect match for her). She just makes me laugh. We are so different, but different in a good way. She isn't the least bit interested in what she calls "typical American men" and only goes for Foreign guys. I really like American guys and sometimes find it hard to relate to people who didn't grow up in middle class sub-divisions like I did. I really like being around her because she makes my little shopping fetish seem mild. Compared to my friends here I'm a fanatic, but compared to her I hardly ever endulge. Its nice to get some perspective, especailly since I was feeling like I was out of control.

Anyway, that night Brooke, my mom and I went to the 5th Avenue Theater and saw Hairspray. It was SO good. I was floored. It totally reminded me of playing my violin in the pit for shows. I miss that. It would be a fun thing to do again for a couple of years.

Saturday was the big game. I wore my CU shirt and was the only person doing so in my area. We had WSU Cougar club seats, so I was in the minority for sure. At one point we picked an interception and ran it into the endzone. I was jumping up and down yelling at the field until I looked around and saw that I was getting the death stare from everyone around. I turned bright red and quickly sat down in my seat. Its a good thing I'm a cute girl becuase otherwise I'm sure I would have been at the recieving end of some pretty upset fan's emotional purging.

I have to admit that I really missed Eric. As I screamed loudly for the opposite team from everyone around me I thought about how nice it would have been for him to be there with me. He would have loved it.

After the game we went down to the state fair. It was glorious! Just in case you didn't know, I have a serious problem with self control when it comes to food. I'll just eat and eat and eat until I explode. Add to this the fact that I LOVE fair food. Add to this the fact that I was with my dad who'll foot the bill for overpriced food, and you can imagine my predicatment. I had all of the following:

• BBQ Beef sandwitch
• World famous Puyallup fair scone
• elephant ear
• curly fries
• carmel apple
• corn on the cob
• sample of penuche fudge
• Pepsi (AKA nectar of the Gods)

Pretty impressive huh?

Sunday morning we went ot IHOP for breakfast. After stretching out my stomach the night before, I was painfully hungry.

My flight back to Colorado was pretty interesting. I sat next to this guy who didn't take his sunglasses off the whole 2 hr and 45 minute flight. I didn't understand. It wasn't bright in the plane. Maybe he was a vampire or something. Maybe he was worried about the light reflecting of the multitude of sliver chains hanging around his neck. It will remain an unsloved mystery.

Maggie's Theory

So my wise little sister has a theory about love.

There are lots of ways to demonstrate that you really love someone, but, according to my sister, this is the one test that will prove it above all others.

Holding hands in winter.

Yep, that's right, I said holding hands in winter.

You have to truly love someone to remove your hands from the warm and inviting auspices of your coat pocket and change obtaining frostbite on your fingers.

Well, someone is one step ahead of you, Mags. Check this out!

Unoriginal but easy

So nothing really happened to me yesterday, so I'm using this from someone else's blog.

I'm sure that there have been plenty of "get to know me" -style questionnaires in the history of mankind, but the earliest famous one that I know of is the "Proust Questionnaire", of which there are two versions. Neither of them were written by Proust, but rather were made well-known because his answers somehow were saved and later published.The first one he answered at a party at age 13...It is depressing to think what the average 13-year-old now would come up with if faced with this "party game".

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? being totally alone

Where would you like to live? Somewhere not too hot, or too cold, but where I'm surrounded by people I love and who love me back

What is your idea of earthly happiness? To understand where I'm going and why I'm here. To have direction. Life without a goal isn't worth anything.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent? Gluttony (I overeat like nobody's business) and spending too much money (the opposite of thriftiness)

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction? Harry Potter, Sydney Carton (from Tale of Two Cities)

Who are your favorite characters in history? Mark Twain, George Washington

Who are your favorite heroines in real life? My mom

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? Twanda

Your favorite painter? Georgia O'Keefe, Boticelli

Your favorite musician? Too many to mention

The quality you most admire in a man? Productivity, ambition

The quality you most admire in a woman? Productivity, ambition

Your favorite virtues? Thoughtfulness, fairness, honesty

Your favorite occupation? Doctors and nurses. I admire them, but would never want to be one. They sacrifice so much to do what they do.

Who would you have liked to be? Dumb question, I like being me.

The second set of questions was put before him at another social function, this time when he was about 20 years old:

Your most marked characteristic? physically...My hair, character...Driven

The quality you most like in a man? patience

The quality you most like in a woman? sincerity

What do you most value in your friends? thougfulness and sincerity (a lot of these are redundant)

What is your principle defect? taking things too personally

What is your favorite occupation? redundancy gives me a headache, look above

What is your dream of happiness? knowing where I'm going and having someone to go there with

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes? wasting time in this life that should be used for a greater purpose

What would you like to be? a liger...Its pretty much my favorite animal

In what country would you like to live? The grand ole United States of America is pretty great to me.

What is your favorite color? green...It looks great on red heads!

What is your favorite flower? stargazer lily or Japanese iris in arrangements....Tulips in the garden

What is your favorite bird? flamingos, I think they look so funny standing there on one toothpick leg while they sleep. Plus, they're HOT PINK!

Who are your favorite prose writers? Charles Dickens, Madeline L'Engle, JK Rowling

Who are your favorite poets? Shel Silverstien...Real poetry is "too deep" for me.

Who are your favorite composers? Bizet, Tchovsky, Elton John (that's a family joke)

Who are your favorite painters? see above

What are your favorite names? I like the names of my favorite people: Margaret, Denise, Sarah, Amy, Brooke, Colin, Derek, Spencer, Michele, Kathryn, Alexa, the list goes on and on.

What is it you most dislike? people leaving time left on the microwave (how hard is it to push the cancel button?), loosing touch with people I really loved, pretending I'm not hurt when I am

What historical figures do you most despise? I think despise is too harsh a word to use for someone I don't know....Probably only Hitler and Stalin and people like that who are responsibly for the needless slaughter of innocent people fall into that category

What event in military history do you most admire? George Washington crossing the Delaware on Christmas Eve. It was smart, effective, and really really cold.

What reform do you most admire? Equal rights, giving women the vote, pretty standard stuff.

What natural gift would you most like to possess? a green thumb

How would you like to die? surrounded by people I love with the knowledge that whatever comes next will be better.

What is your present state of mind? excited because I'm going to Seattle tomorrow morning and I get to spend the whole weekend with my parents! TheyROCK!

What is your motto? Forgive and forget. Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice. You can never have too many friends. Find a goal in life and work to that.

For Kim.....And my mom

So I know it has been a REALLY long time with no post, but at first there was nothing to write about. Then, after labor day weekend, there was too much to write about. The task was too daunting, so I just didn't do it.

Alright, so I have a confession to make.

Before moving to Colorado I would have bet the farm that I would NEVER in my life do what I am about to do, much less confess to it.

I'm buying a longboard.

Yep, that's right, friends. Little miss Nordstrom herself is walking into a skate shop and actually purchasing something from the long haired, volcom shirt wearing sales associate.

I know you're asking yourself, "why is the world spinning out of control" and "what happened to everything that was just and right in the universe"

My new fascination started Monday night. My friends threw a great BBQ for labor day and after we'd all eaten enough to make ourselves a little ill, we decided to go sit on the curb and watch people take turns riding the scooter. That was fun. Then, three people brought out their longboards. They tied ropes to the back of the scooter, and all three were towed at once. This was really fun to watch. Anyway, Sarah and I hopped on the scooter and we towed Amy W around the block. The scooter was WAY fun! Colin is trying to talk Sarah into selling her car and buying two scooters. I fully support this idea and am excited to go down and help pick out the color. Anyway, a longboard was just sitting there next to me and I decided to give it a try.

My experience with skateboards is limited to the three months we had one in our apartment senior year that I used to unload the dishwasher. I'd stand on it and roll from the dishwasher to the cupboard and back. Much less easier.

I tentatively stood on the board. I decided to stand with my left foot forward and push with my right foot. I was off. It really wasn't as hard as I'd always thought it would be. (This is a pretty typical discovery for me). Anyway, by the end of the night I was cruising pretty decently and didn't feel like I was going to eat it every time I took my foot off to push.

So now I'm getting one of my own. It'd be nice to have one because I could go ride at 3 in the morning and think instead of tossing and turning like I've been lately.

Other highlights from the weekend:

• Friday at bingo I got in trouble for talking too loud during the game. At intermission the caller came up to me specifically and told me to be quite. Why do I get this EVERYWHERE I GO?!?!
• Saturday Sarah, Amy E and I went to see Vanity Fair, which I didn't like at all. It was too long and the plot made me mad.
• Saturday night we went to this BBQ that was totally lame. The guy throwing it told me that I was limited to only bringing one friend becuase they didn't want it to get out of control. When I showed up there were only 4 people there. Lame.
• Sunday I went to dinner with my roommate (Amy G) at her grandparent's house in Greeley. I love her family. They are so funny and reminds me of my grandparents who I miss terribly.
• Sunday night was Amy's first bridal shower. It was pretty tame becuase it was all parents and grandparents. The one I throw her in December will be ragin in comparison.
• Monday morning the girls (Sarah, Amy W, Jocelyn and I) went to breakfast at Lucille's. It was DE-licious! I suggested that we make it a weekly ritual and they all agreed. It is SO good to have a solid group of girlfriends. I haven't had that in a really long time.
• Monday afternoon was spent making nanimo bars and sitting by the pool.
• Monday night was the BBQ.

Bring on the Humble Pie

So turns out I don't know what I'm doing. This morning I sat in front of my boss and realized that I don't remember the basic physics required to be a good engineer. The really frustrating thing is that I remember totally understanding all of this stuff and really liking it. What the heck happened? Somewhere inbetween graduating and today I've forgotten about 75% of everything I learned in school. Not only was I really embarrassed and frustrated because I couldn't sum the moments to be zero correctly, but it made me worried about grad school. I'm going to be surrounded by all these kids that just graduated and have all this info fresh in their minds. I'll be the slow kid in the class asking all the annoying questions which the the professor just answered. Yikes. I haven't been nervous about going back to school at all until today.

I went over and borrowed a physics book from my friend. Like an idiot I used mine for a sled 2 winters ago. Never thought I'd need it again and the bookstore wouldn't buy it back.

Anyway, I think tonight we're going to go play bingo with old people. I'm stoked. Old people can be really funny. plus, there's always the chance I'll win the jackpot of $1,000. I'd be better for me to win it than anyone else because I'll be alive long enough to really enjoy it. I think I'd buy a brand spankin new set up of ski gear. That'd be dreamy. Only 3 more months until the resorts open. Ah.......

Rollin in it

So my manager just gave me a $75 reward for all my hard work on my last program. I thought that was pretty cool. I mean, not only did I get paid a pretty substantial salary to do the work, but because I did well I got a little present. Score!

Also, I got a part back that I designed for a different mechanism team. It was used for a bonding test and I asked if I could have it after the test was done and they said sure. I thought there was no way that anyone would remember that I asked for it, but they did so now I have a really cool little thing to put on my desk.

Last night I went to institute and afterward this guy asked if I would come to a party he's having on Saturday. He seems like a nice guy so I said sure. I'm not attracted to him at all, but I figure that I should really give everyone a chance because they might surprise me with their inner coolness. Plus, he has lots of friends down in Denver that are going to be at the party. It will be nice to be surrounded by a bunch of people I don't know. I can tell all of my good stand-by stories because no one will have heard them. Nice.

So after work today Kirsten (the mailman's sister) and I are going to go play tennis. Now, I am not really great at tennis and will probably end up lobbing it over the back fence most of the time, but it will be nice to get out and do something physical. After that I'm going to Sarah's to do laundry. I love laundry day at Sarah's because it feels like I'm living with a roommate that I really like. Not that I don't really like my roommates now, but one of them is just driving me nuts and it creates a bad vibe in the house. Luckily, she is moving out at the end of October. I just have to keep telling myself that it's almost over.

What do you think of this? A million years ago I bought a plane ticket for Eric so we could take a trip together. He broke up with me before we could go on the trip, so I just had this ticket sitting around. Instead of just flushing all that money down the toilet, I called the airline to see what I could do about it. Turns out that if I fax them a statement signed by Eric that says he releases the credit to me, along with a copy of his drivers license that I could use the credit for myself. Score. Anyway, I kind of forgot about it until recently when I realized that I'm flying up to Seattle next weekend and would love to get a $80 discount on the ticket. Anyway, yesterday I called Eric and asked him if there was 10 minutes somewhere in his day that he could lend me his license so I could get my money back. He didn't call me back all day. I was really torqued because if the situation was reversed I for sure could have stopped by his house at some time for that small of a favor. I mean, who is so busy that they can't do that for a friend? Especially a friend they used to be in love with? Then, this morning he called me and told me that if I wanted, I could come get his license from him sometime today and do it, but he has class from 9-12 then work from 12-2 then working out from 2-3:30. Am I overreacting to be annoyed at the fact that he is expecting me to work around his schedule? That he is unwilling to go out of his way the tiniest bit to help me out? Lame.

Thanks for the suggestion Brit!

So I'm trading Princeton for Northwestern. I went on their website yesterday and got so excited that I actually started my online application. The controls systems research they are doing there looks really interesting to me. That area has really piqued my interest since I started working with the controls systems guy on our gimbal design team at work. I think I could really get into that. Anyway, another cool thing is that it is only 2 hours away from Yale, which is where Sarah really wants to go. I would love to be able to go up and see her for a long vacation every now and again.

So I've decided that I need to get up off my butt and do something new. I need to take some cool classes or something becuase I feel really stagnant. I think I'm going to drive around town tonight and look for a cooking class. I really enjoy cooking, but never really want to do it just for myself. Cooking for one is hard becuase after you spend all that time getting something really good, you just sit down at the table alone and don't have anyone to talk to.

Mags

It would be easier to get ahold of you if you had ever left me your new phone number. The one mom gave me sounds like it is attached to a fax machine. You haven't updated you RouteY info. Your number pops up on my phone as "unavailable" so I never answer when you call.

List of Potential Grad Schools

So I think I've decided which schools I want to apply to. Let me know what you think:

1. Stanford
2. Northwestern (this is a maybe since I went to their website and wasn't really thrilled by the research going on there)
3. Penn State (shout out Britt!)
4. UCLA
5. UCSD
6. CU
7. UT at Austin
8. BYU (just to see what they offer me to come back)

Am I missing any great schools that I just haven't thought of to include?

MTV Video Music Awards

Tonight I have an appointment to get my hair cut. Since I was bored at work yesterday I figured I would abuse my unlimited internet access privledges and try to find a good new look. My first impulse was to check MTV.com to see what was "hip."

When I went to the site it was an explosion of advertising about the VMAs.

Now, I don't have TV at my house, so I didn't know that they were on this Sunday. When I went to that site it made me feel like a out-of-the-loop bumpkin. I felt like there were kids all over the country counting down to the awards show in eager anticipation. It almost intimated that some people had made those paper chains and hung them around their dorm rooms. Every morning they gleefully would tear off a link until, finally, after weeks of giddy anxiety they are allowed the opportunity to see Nelly and Christina Agulera "perform" on their 19" TV/VCR unit.

I'm sure there are some people who are excited about the show, and have even planned to watch it, but I'm hoping it isn't the vast majority of our nation's youth. Just MTV making me feel like I'm a complete moron because I don't know who Paris Hilton is with these days. It made me kind of disappointed because I don't really like MTV telling me how to think or feel.

But I guess I can't really avoid that.

After work I went to the mall.

To Abercrombie in fact.

I just walked around the store looking at clothes that I didn't really think were that cute, but realized that this store was trying to tell me to think that they were cute.

Why must pop culture force itself upon me?

Why am I so easily convinced to agree with them?

Strange.

I'm a slacker

Well, the mailman is gone back to school and didn't even call to say goodbye. I guess this is better because now I'm not even really sad that he's left. It was fun to have a crush on someone again, but now that's over and all I see laying before me is a long year of me not dating anyone because there is no one I'm remotely interested in. C'est la vie.

Alright, so I'm an engineer. I think I've made that obvious, but for anyone stumbling on this page, there's the 411. I'm a 23 year old girl who works with all 50 year old men. Because of this, my office is always unbearably cold. They crank up the air conditioning so high my fingertips end up blue by the end of the day. Despite the fact that I work on the fifth floor and heat rises, it is still like an igloo in my office.

Anyway, yesterday I got into work at 7 and by 7:30 I was trying to eat all the hard candy I had to avoid getting hypothermia. I just couldn't take it.

I assessed my options.

If I were still working in the Broomfield office I could have run home and grabbed a sweater. Alas, I moved back to the Boulder campus and my house is a 20 minute drive away. Plus, it would take forever to drive back in rush hour traffic. That was out of the question.

I thought about running down to Pearl street to buy a new sweater, but by this time it was 7:45 in the morning and the shops wouldn't by open for another hour.

So, I called Sarah at 8 in the morning and asked if I could come and borrow something to wear. I think she was really surprised, I mean who calls you at 8 in the morning on a Tuesday to borrow a sweater?

She said yes, so I ran down the stairs and across the parking lot to my car. As I neared my spot, who but my boss should be walking across the parking lot. He asked me if I'd had enough for the day and I said yes that I was done and I'd see him tomorrow.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that even if it is freakin 90 degrees and sunny outside I'm wearing my ski coat to work.

Kraft

I have a serious problem. Actually, it borders on an addiction. I've tried everything to kick the habit but it always resurfaces when I'm least expecting it. It raged most my sophomore year of college. Since then I've really been battling it, but every now and then my human frailty allows it to resurface and it seems like I never gave it up in the first place.

You ask what heinous behavior can I possibly be a victim of?

Are there children present? I don't want them shocked by the horrific details I am about to divulge.




THE OVERCONSUMPTION OF KRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE.



There, I've admitted it. I hear that is the first step to correcting a personally detrimental behavioral pattern.

Last night I had to swing by the grocery store to get some more contact solution and there, gleaming from the second shelf was the blue box of joy. The first time I passed through the aisle I was strong. I only glanced at the shelf containing the boxes I knew would give me momentary pleasure followed by a prolonged guilt period. I noticed that with my Safeway card each tempting box was only 59 cents. My interest was piqued, but my will was still strong. I sped by.

Well, as you can expect, the organizers of the Safeway and I have totally different ideas as to where the contact solution would be. I, like any other rational person on the planet, would put it next to the other bathroom stuff: toothpaste, mouthwash, face cleanser. As I slowly scanned these aisles the memories of all the good times I'd shared with the contents of the blue box came drifting through by consciousness. After walking up and down all of these aisles I realized I was going to have to either ask an employee for help locating the solution or just wander up and down every aisle.

No employees in sight......Wandering commenced.

As fate would have it I was forced to return to the area of temptation. Like Eve reaching for the apple, my hand, as if powered by some external force, reached for the blue boxes. As soon as my fingers touched the friendly and all to familiar cardboard I knew I would succumb. Glancing around to make sure no one saw what I was engaged in, I feverishly put 4 boxes into the bottom of my basket and covered them with the other items I was planning on purchasing.

In the very next aisle I found the contact solution (next to the shampoo) and made my way to the check out line.

30 minutes later I was at home and reveling in my guilty culinary pleasure. I consumed the whole box and was considering cooking up a second when my roommate found me laying on the floor, mouth open and crusty orange powder clinging to the corners of my mouth. She grabbed both my shoulder and shook me until I snapped out of my carb-induced euphoria.

This morning I am still dealing with the feelings of inadequacy and shame. Why can't I be stronger and avoid doing things that only stop my progression? Why, oh Why?!?!?

Better days are coming for you....

Well, today is significantly better than yesterday. That is good news.

Yesterday after work I went by CU campus to pick up an engineering book my co-worker suggested.

BAD IDEA.

I got into the bookstore and saw the hordes of students buying their school books for the semester and I almost hyperventilated. All the girls were overly tanned, wearing mini skirts barely covering their butts, and Abercrombie polo shirts proudly displaying 4 inches of not-so-toned abs. Nast. That helped cure my longing to be back in school for a while.

At FHE the activity was finger painting. This was not my idea, but since I am the newly appointed chair or the committee, I have to make do. I made about 15 packages of pudding and dyed it all different colors and everyone stood around making pictures on butcher paper. I thought it was fitting that the first day of class be followed by a return to kindergarten. Anyway, people seemed to have fun.

I met this really "interesting" kid. He has spent the last year interning as an investment banker in Manhattan. He just came back to CU to finish up his last year of school and then he was heading back to NY. He told me all of this like I was supposed to be really impressed or something. I think my friends have desensitized me to being impressed. Spencer is at Harvard getting his MBA, Bryan is going to law school at NYU, Colin and Sarah want to be the power couple of Yale medical and organic chemistry grad school. They are some of my closest friends totally taking over the planet and he wanted me to be impressed by economic forecasting? Riiight.

Another thing I thought was pretty funny: He just became Mormon in May and since then he has read "Articles of Faith" which pretty much spells out our doctrine. He told me that he felt people were trying to teach him things too slowly, so he decided to learn at a faster pace. That's not what I found amusing. The funny thing he said was this (said in your most haughty voice): "I mean, I am a economics/finance major. I can pick up on things a little faster than your average person." I laughed because this is the kind of major snobbery that I found ALL THE TIME in engineering. It was funny to hear someone else say that. Like being in one major makes you intrisically smarter than someone else. He could be flunking out of school for all I know but he must be worlds smarter than someone in a "softer science" major just because of what it says at the top of his transcript. The really funny thing is that engineers always say that anything in business is just so brain numbingly easy it is a joke. (caveat: I've never said that because I've never taken a business class, so I have no way to compare the two)

Mounting Frustration

So I've decided that I definatley, positively do not like working.

Today is the first day of classes at CU and I would give my right arm to be heading back to class.

Last night we sat around Colin's kitchen after gorging ourselves on sushi and talked about classes. I really love college and I miss the freedom.

My job is feeling like a huge ball and chain. I just keep trying to get into work earlier and earlier in the hopes that it will make the 8 hours go by faster.

Anyway, this weekend was pretty fun. Colin had some really dreamy friends come into town. We hiked on Saturday morning, then I went to the CU football scrimmage, crashed a BBQ of someone that I've met once, and then watched the Olympics. Sunday we did church, then went tubing down Boulder Creek (which was SOOOOOO cold), and made sushi for family dinner. All in all pretty great.

The mailman was retarded which at the time really upset me, but now I am numb to it and just annoyed.

Eric was weird to me and didn't call me when he said he would, but made up for it by calling and talking to me for an hour last night.

You raise me up....

Last night Eric and I went to the Josh Groban concert together. I never would have gone to this show if it wasn't for him. He is a really big fan of the Grobster, so I got him tickets back in May for our 4 month anniversary (lame, I know, but you do lame things when you are in love). Anyway, we broke up a week after I bought the tickets. Honestly, I really hadn't been looking forward to the show, but I spent freakin $75 a ticket, so we were going.

I'm so glad we did.

The concert was amazing. I only knew one of the songs he sang, but they were all so beautiful and he sang with such emotion. Plus, he had a violinist that was just amazing. It made me want to go home and practice. That's what a good concert does to me...makes me want to be better.

He sang one song that was about the saddness of a loved one dying and how they're always with you after they're gone and I lost it. Most times I think I've pretty much dealt with the pain of my aunt dying three months ago, and then it will hit me out of nowhere. I was just sobbing there at the concert. Eric just let me cry, which is just what I needed. It's nice to have him for a friend becuase he really knows me.

After the show I made a comment about how that was the last thing we had together and it marked the complete end of our relationship. Then we said goodbye. And that, my friends, is what we call closure.

My vacation

So I guess the best way to get all this stuff down is to break it up into a day-by-day report.

Friday
Worked half a day and then took off to start my adventure. As I was pumping my gas at the station, the mailman called me and asked if I was still in town. I said yes. He said that he wished he could see me before I left because he had something for my trip. I said that his house was actually on my way out of town, so I could stop by for a few minutes. He said good and we hung up. I drove over there and he got me a copy of The Alchemist. I guess it is one of his favorite books. I was really impressed. I love it when people get me books that mean a lot to them. I get a little insight into who they are. Also, he got me a Pepsi. So thoughtful, so nice, so perfect, so leaving in a week.

This strange girl from the ward asked if she could ride over to Utah with me. Being the good Samaritan that I am, I said sure. Actually, I figured that she would offer to help with the gas money...What a naive fool. Anyway, because she was going home to her house in Clearfield (north of Salt Lake) I decided to drive through Wyoming, which is a totally ugly, long, nast drive. When I got up to her house she informed me that she was moving to Utah, which meant that not only did I offer to give her a ride, but I offered to help her move all her crap. I tried to put on a smile and help out, but I was annoyed. I hate moving and I felt like I got tricked into doing it.

We took off an hour later than I had planned, but it was alright. She was really weird and entertaining to talk to, so that was nice. We got into a two hour discussion about the natural way she is going about curing her acne. Seriously, we talked about this for two hours. Yikes.

We got to her house in Utah at 11:45 and when she got out of the car she just ran off and played with her cats for 10 minutes. I was just standing there thinking, "get your freakin crap out of my car so I can drive the additional hour down to Orem!"

Got to grandma's (mom's mom) house at 1 in the morning. Collapsed into bed.

Saturday
For some reason my alarm clock decided not to go off and I woke up at 8:15. My mom's flight arrived at 9:30 so I had to rush to get ready and drive like a crazy person up to Salt Lake. I picked her up and we went to my other grandma's (dad's mom) house to borrow her car. My grandma just cracks me up. She is so funny.

Anyway, we picked up the car and drove back to the airport to get my brother's family. The girls are SO cute! We got all the luggage and headed back to Orem. We played mini golf that night. I did horrible on the front, but I won on the back, so I was happy. We played arcade games and the girls each won a little prize. They are so much fun to be around.

That night I was going to go out with my friend Becky, but my sister, her boyfriend Dan, and my dad got in. We all sat around and talked for a while. At around 10 everyone was winding down. I suggested that Mags and Dan go up Provo canyon and look at the meteor shower. I don't know if they did or not, but it sounded like a fun romantic thing to do. It was something that I would have done if I'd had a boyfriend.

Sunday
Dad started the day off right with a signature breakfast. He made the bacon right, and the hashbrowns were the right kind (no nasty peppers in them like last time). After breakfast I went to my friend Becky's house. We hung out and talked for a while. She made me blueberry pancakes that were DEliscious. She is such a rad friend. It seems like no matter how much time passes between times that we see each other, things are still the same. I like that.

At 11 we took off to go up to Layton to my cousin's homecoming. His talk was amazing. I'm sure he was a great missionary. I was so impressed by what he said and the familiarity he had with the scriptures. He has changed so much since he left. I was floored.

After church they had a party at his house and there were SO many cute boys. I was overwhelmed. At one point my brother thought it would be funny to tell one of them that I thought he was cute and I wanted him to bring me a drink. I didn't think he'd really do it, but as I watched him in horror walking up to him I knew I would have to act fast. I ran up the hill to their house faster than any Olympic time trial and practically body checked him out of the path of the cute boy. My whole family was watching and Mags said it was the funniest thing she's ever seem me do....EVER.

After the picnic party we stopped by grandma's house to drop of the car. Everyone was exhausted and crashed for a nap, except me and the girls. I showed them the player piano in the basement and we danced around to the music. It was rad. I am the best aunt ever.

When most of the people were awake we all went out to the patio and sat around and chatted. My grandma has installed misters on her patio so that it doesn't get so hot out there. The girls were playing in the mist. Grandma thought it would be fun to show them the bird bath in the back yard and how to drink from the spigot. Grandma also thought it would be a fun game to get her hand wet in the fountain and flick it on Kathryn (my 4 year old niece). Well, she did think it was a fun game and started flicking water back at Grandma. Then, she started flicking it at Dan, which I thought was great. I went out to the spigot with kathryn and she showed me how to drink. She was already soaked from playing in the fountain, so I took a big mouthful and spit it at her. We then spit at each other for a while. Then, she looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said, "let's get Dan." We both took big mouthfuls and ran over to him. She tried to spit it out, but it only came out in a dribble. Then, to the shock of everyone, I hit him full force with my mouthful. The look of pure surprise on his face was priceless. He picked me up and tried to dunk me in the fountain, but stopped short because it is cement and I was flipping around so much he didn't want to hurt me. I turned around and was met with a whole cup full of water to the face. From there it escalated to a full family water fight with two hoses, cups and a watering can. It was great. Everyone but my mom, Maggie, and my sister-in-law Jodi got into it. It was right then that I realized I really like Dan and am totally excited that Maggie is talking seriously with him. Yea! Someone to play with!

Anyway, we were all wearing out Sunday clothes and were soaked. We changed into some of Grandma's clothes and waited for our clothes to dry out. We had KFC for dinner (a Timothy family classic).

By the time we got home everyone was exhausted. We went over to my Aunt Marci's house and roasted marshmallows in her fire pit. I played the guitar and it was awesome to just hang out.

Monday
Woke up early and went to Lagoon. I thought it was going to be painful to go with the girls because it would be hot and we'd have to wait in lines, but it was actually a ton of fun. Having Dan there was great because he'd go on the scary rides with me and Nathan. Maggie is a little bit of a baby when it comes to rides. I think this probably stemms back to the whole "getting hit by a car" thing. Anyway, we spent all day on rides and at the water park. I was so tired that I fell asleep in a chair after we'd eaten at Arby's. Me and the 4 year old both got tuckered out.

After getting back to Orem, I called up my freshmen year roommate, Nicole. I went over there and we talked for an hour. She just got back from her mission and was so excited about school. She looked so pretty I was really impressed. I was also really jealous that she was starting back up at school. I miss that. I crave school sometimes.

After hanging out with Nicole, I spent some time with Bryan. Man is that kid good looking! He drove up next to my car on his little scooter and I started to drool. Everytime I see him I get an ego boost because He is so smart and good looking and funny and at one point wanted me. That's always nice for the self esteem.

To fully understand, you have to know some of the history with me and this kid. All through college he was in my classes. We got to be really good friends and I always thought he was totally dreamy. I was always dating someone else, so nothing ever happened until the last few weeks I was in Provo (how typical). After graduation we spent some of the greatest days together. I had one of my top 5 most romantic nights with him the last night he was in Provo. He found a deserted park in the middle of the city and talked and cuddled and kissed. It was perfect. Anyway, he left and I figured I'd never see him again. I stayed in Provo for a month. My very last night in Provo, he called me up and said he was back in town. The summer job he had planned hadn't really worked out and he was back. We spent that night together and it was pretty much text book fairy tale. Anyway, I knew even in the moment that the reason it was like that was because it wasn't real. At the end of last summer I was having a really hard time and I called him out of the blue to say hi. He gave me some of the greatest advice I've ever had. It was really hard to hear at the time, but now I consider him one of my greatest friends because he was blunt and told me what I needed to hear.

anyway, we talked about him going off to law school at NYU. We also talked about Maggie and her boyfriend. Also, I told him about my frustrations with work and how I feel like I'm not going anywhere. He has surprisingly good advice.

We talked about how the hardest trials might not be the big ones that are epic and obviously "trials." Sure, they are hard, but the are clear. The hardest trials might be learning to deal with mediocrity and rising above it. Maybe trying to make the mundane into the incredible is harder than trying to correct the devastating. Anyway, it was a really interesting conversation. It made me want to go back to school so that I can have discussions like that. I want to be surrounded by people like Bryan who challenge me and make me think. That's why I like Colin and Sarah so much. They do that for me here in Colorado. Anyway, as we were saying goodbye, he took me in his arms and held me tight. I knew the chances were good that it was the last time I'd ever see him. I was standing on a step above him, so we were cheek to cheek and I was overcome with the feeling that I was saying goodbye to someone who has such an unlikely candidate to be as great a friend as he turned out to be. Watch out for Bryan because I'm sure he'll take over the world.

Tuesday
We spent Tuesday up at Temple square. Had lunch at the Lion house, went on the tour of the Beehive house, took the tour of the conference center, walked around looking at the temple. While I was on the grounds I looked at my little sister and Dan and I just felt like they were a great match. I think my ragged nerves about the whole thing got smoothed out. I am so grateful for that little bit of peace.

At 5 we went to my cousin's soccer game. She's only in 9th grade and she is starting on the JV team, which is really good in Orem, where everyone plays soccer.

After the game we all went back and had tacos. I taught Maggie, Dan and my cousin Rachel to play CRUD. This is the greatest game and if it is all I get out of knowing the mailman it will have made the friendship worth everything.

After dinner I watched some Olympics and went to bed.

Wednesday
We got up and went down to campus. Mags had to talk to some professors and I just wanted some chocolate milk and an asiago cheese bagel. While we were on campus I just got so happy at the prospect of being back in school. I was excited for the first day of class and just being in the school environment. I think that was confirmation that applying to schools again is the right thing for me to do. It's nice to feel like I have direction again. While I was on campus I saw James, which was great. He looked so happy and I am so proud of him! He's going to have his masters in December and a new baby in June. Everything is working out so well for him. I am way impressed.

We were going to get pedicures, but I decided I had to hit the road for home so I bailed.

The drive was great. Not too hot, so I could drive with the window open the whole way. Except when I got to our side of the mountains and there was a torrential downpour. Great welcome back weather.

I went over to Sarah's to watch Olympics and do laundry. I got to hang out with Amy E and her boyfriend Danny. I guess they've decided to get married next May, but aren't making it official until she has the ring. As soon as Danny's student loans come in, he's going to buy her one. Does that make anyone else laugh?

I guess a bunch of people have decided to go to Mexico again for New Years. I don't think I'll go because I want to go to Amy (my roommate's) wedding and they thoughtlessly decided to stay on their vacation until Jan 10, when her wedding is on the 8th. I think that is so rude. If I were her I'd be SO hurt. Why would you do that to someone you consider a really good friend? I guess some people just have a different view of what loyalty to friends encompasses.

Why I am the biggest loser ever

Last night I went out for dinner with Eric, his brother and Helena. Turns out I actually like Helena a lot and my whole year of preconceived notions about her were totally wrong. I hate it when I realize that I still have that personality flaw.

Anyway, we went to dinner on Pearl and then walked around for a bit. Eric's brother is really funny and nice. I liked him a lot. He is totally different from Eric. I mean TOTALLY different.

Anyway, they weren't really doing anything and the mailman had said that I could come over if I had any time so.....

I called him up at like 9 and asked if he was ready for me. He said he was in Boulder, but on his way home. I said that was cool and asked him to call me when I could come over.

My stomach really hurt from dinner so I decided to lay down on my bed to let it settle before I went over there. I'm sure you can guess what happened. I fell asleep at 9:30. Well, turns out he called me three times to come over, texted me twice, drove over to my house to check on me, started freaking out that something bad happened to me, called me two more times, and sent me another text. This morning I texted him and told him what happened. He told me he was really worried because it isn't like me at all to just drop of the face of the earth like that. The only time I'm ever without my phone is at church, so he thought I'd been hit by a bus or something. Pretty cute of him to be so worried about me. I told him I was bummed that I missed him last night (and I am) because I don't think we'll be able to see each other again. He said again that we'd hang out again because he has something to give me. A present? Interesting. I wonder what he would get me.

Anyway, I'm leaving this afternoon to drive over to Utah. My sister and her bf are driving down so she'll have her car there when school starts. My parents are flying from Spokane and my brother, his wife, and their two little girls are flying from Seattle. I'm excited to see everybody, but Utah isn't really my ideal vacation destination. I live there for 4 years. I'm totally Utah-ed out. At least I'll be able to see some of my rad friends that I haven't seen in FOREVER.

Karma

So I'm pretty sure the universe is completely balanced.

This morning I got into work and hated my job. I was hating the guy I work for and the stuff I'm doing and just everything about work.

Then, my functional manager called me.

Turns out I got a 5% raise that will be retroactively applied back to the beginning of July.

All of the sudden things don't look so bad.

Work is worth coming to every day.

Hooray.

I spent the rest of the morning wandering around campus talking to friends and enjoying the perfect 75 degree, blue skies day outside.

Then I went and got my car's registration renewed.

It was only $300, when I was expecting it to be $400.

Nice.

Another rainy Tuesday night

So yesterday wasn't very eventful. I went to the grocery store after work and I only got 4 items: eggs, brownie mix, Doritos Guacamole chips, and a pepsi. Healthy dinner, eh? I made the brownies and took some over for Eric, since they are his favorites. We watched a new dating reality show called outback jack. Those things are always so dumb. I made comments through the whole show, which I'm sure was totally annoying for Eric. How can people think they are in love with someone they've only known a few weeks? Especially if those few weeks don't consist of any reality and it is completely staged? I just don't get it. You have to be as dumb as rocks to believe you are able to really get to know someone while shooting a TV show.

I left Eric's at around 8 because the mailman and I had planned to "hang out." Just as I got home a huge rain storm broke. It was torrential, and the hail was gnarly. Once again I was thankful for covered parking. I watched the storm from my big bedroom window. It was awesome.

The mailman didn't call me until 8:45, and didn't come over until 9:30. Lame.

We met up with Sarah and Colin at Bova's Frozen Custard in Boulder. The flavor of the day was Pralines and Cream, which is my absolute fave! We walked around the hill for a while. It was strange. Sarah and I walked in front talking and the mailman and Colin walked behind us talking.

After custard, we drove back to my house and sat around talking until 2:30 in the morning. It was kind of lame because he kept telling me the same stories that he's already told me. Another exciting part of the convo was when we talked about his ex-girlfriends. Actually, this is his favorite topic to talk about. Annoying.

I told him I was disappointed because he didn't meet my parents this weekend and he said he was sorry he didn't get to meet them. Whatever, obviously not sorry enough to have tried to meet them.

When he left I said goodbye because since I'm leaving Friday for my family vacation and he's leave Sunday for a week at Lake Powell, I probably won't get to see him again for a while. After Lake Powell he is either going straight back to BYU, or he'll come back to Colorado to go on a backpacking trip with his family. Either way, I probably won't get to spend the evening alone with him again. As we were saying goodbye he said that he had something for me still, so it wasn't the last, real goodbye. I said "cool" but in my mind I thought, "yeah, right."

Anwyay, tonight is girls night and we're all going to see princess diary 2. Looks like the movie will be retarded, but it will be fun to be out with all the girls. Amy (my roommate) might even come because Erik (her fiance) started football camp this week so now she has ample spare time. That is freakin AWESOME! I get my best friend back! Hooray!

The new most quote-able movie on the planet

Stand aside Billy Madison. Tommy Boy, get out of the way. Zoolander, you'll have to move to the back of the bus, becuase Napolean Dynamite is the newest, most quote-able movie of our generation. If you haven't seen it, you just won't get it. Check this out!

Quotes

FHE

So I've decided that I am going to be stuck doing FHE until I have learned the importance of it and love serving in my calling. That is why I've been doing the same thing for over a year. I wish there was a way I could improve my attitude, but I just really don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. It wouldn't be so bad if I was in charge because then I would just have fun outdoors things every week and good food. Since I'm not in charge, just a lowly cog in the machine, I have to be supportive of activities that I think are lame. For example, last night we played mad libs. It was a beautiful day outside and we sat in the institute building trying to come up with funny stories that were just lame. My real concern is that we NEVER do any kind of service. Its really a shame and a waste of people who are probably willing to help whenever they can.

The mailman was there, but he came late so I couldn't talk to him before the activity. I couldn't talk to him during the activity because I was on the other team, then I had to cut and serve the brownies I made (and will not be reimbursed for). After that I was going to go talk to him, but he was on his phone, so I decided to call Kathy (my bff) back. We talked a while and when I got off, the mailman was on his way out the door to go play hockey. Whatever.

On my way home I thought that maybe it was more my fault that we weren't talking. I mean, its not like I make it really easy for him or anything. I called up and asked when I could schedule some time into his busy social calendar. He said we could hang out Tuesday (today). He was really excited sounding, so turns out he isn't trying to avoid me. Good news. So now we are hanging out tonight and I feel like I have to come up with something to do. Ugh. All I really want to do it go to Bova's frozen yogurt for white chocolate tonight. Any other ideas?

Today I'm going to lunch with my friend Patrick from work. He is really cool and is reading Atlas Shrugged right now. That book is so good and if someone likes it I immediately feel like I have a connection with them. That and the Harry Potter books. I'm such a nerd.

Derek called me yesterday, but I was already in bed. It was quite a surprise to hear from him, since he isn't the best in the world at keeping in touch. Every time I hear his voice it makes me smile and remember how happy I was when I was his close friend/girlfriend. What a kid!

shopping spree

I know you guys probably don't care all that much, but yesterday's lunchtime shopping outing was quite a sucess. I got a pair of green pants, peach hoodie, and teal sweater. I also got a blue t-shirt, but I couldn't find a pic of it.

Parental Visitation

Friday after work I drove out to pick my parents up from the airport. I left with plenty of time to get there, but didn't count on the traffic, so I was still on the road when my mom called from the terminal. Boo, I wanted to be there waiting when they walked into the terminal. Oh well, I found a parking lot (barely) and kind of ran into the building. Took the escalator up to the baggage claims and saw my parents. They are the coolest ever. My mom and I talked while my dad got the bags. Within 15 minutes of seeing me, they both made comments about what I was wearing. I didn't know if I should take it as a compliment, or what, so I just ignored it. We drove to Boulder, got my dad a knee brace, and went to dinner on Pearl St. My parents thought the waitress was on drugs, and she very well might have been. She kept saying things about how the greens were "organic" and the meat was free range. This just cracked my dad up.

Saturday morning we woke up and headed out to my contest. We got there late because I am a retard and didn't mapquest the right place. I was nervous that they weren't going to let me play, but it turned out that my division was last in the day, so I wouldn't be playing until like 4 in the afternoon. We sat around and listened to the little kids who were worlds better than I am, and during the fiddling break there were some nationally ranked cloggers come to exhibition, which was cool. It made me want to break out the old clogs and join a studio...or at least clog in my garage. I played alright, and since I was the only person who signed up to be in my division, I won. $75! I was stoked. I was even more stoked that Eric and Colin came to see me play. I don't know why, but I am always floored when my friends go out of their way to support me. Its not like it isn't anything I wouldn't do for them, but it just seems to mean more. Especially from Eric.

After the contest, my parents took me, Eric and Colin out to dinner. We ate at Rhumba on Pearl St. The food was great, but our waiter was a weirdo. When he was telling us the specials he too kept emphasizing the organic nature of everything. My dad started laughing, and I had a hard time. Especially when he said something was "dusted with carrot powder." Boulder is a strange place for sure.

Church on Sunday was nice. Afterward, all of my friends sat around for a while and talked with my parents, which was so cool. My mom was being really funny.

One thing to note, the mail man didn't say hi or talk to me all day. Retarded. If the situation was reversed I would for sure go up to him and let myself be introduced to his parents. I thought the deal was that we were going to be friends first and foremost. He didn't even act like I was there or that he knew me. Lame.

After I took them back to the airport, I went for family dinner. We had fajitas, and played frisbee afterward. While we were eating dinner this random dog of the apartment above Colin's decided it would be cool to just wander between our legs and under the table because we were sitting out on the patio. Why do dog owners think that everyone loves their animal as much as they do? I guarantee you, we DON'T.

Today I'm meeting Amy and Sarah at Urban Outfitter as high noon because they are having a sale and that $75 prize money is burning a hole in my pocket.

I'm not your F-ing secretary!

So since I moved up into this office I've been told to 1)fix the copier 2) run down to another department to pick up some copies 3) run off some handouts for someone else's meeting which made me late to my own meeting and caused my lead to make a comment in front of my whole team about being on time to meetings 4) make coffee.

I'm pretty sure none of these tasks fall into the job requirement of associate engineer. UGH!

RAGE

I just walked down 5 flights of stairs to get to the closest vending machine. All I want is a little bag of rold gold pretzels and the machine won't take my dollar. AHHHHHHHHHHH!

That's just how much I love my friends

So I've lived away from home now for 5 years, and this is the first year that I have really felt all alone and grown up. All through college I lived within a 10 minute drive of my grandma and aunt. They would take care of me, feed me when I was starving, give me a place of refuge when I couldn't handle the stresses of single life, you know...family support.

Now that I am in Colorado and completely without family I realize how important they are to me. I also realize how lucky I was to have them during college. Also, I realize how important it is for me to have a surrogate family here. It is really comforting to know that I have people in my life who just sit there and let me cry on their shoulders if I really need to. No judgement, no attempted problem solving, just there to help and love me. Those people have no idea how much they mean to me. I don't know what I'd do without them...probably move away from here.

So yesterday I was accused of not working hard at my job (by the mailman) and it REALLY hurt my feelings. I'm not a slacker, and I hate that my job isn't more challenging for me. For someone to just make fun of the effort that I do put in really hurts. I'm frustrated by the fact that work isn't really hard and totally consuming, and to have someone say that's MY fault is hard to hear. Although, in reality it may be my fault. Maybe I should be doing more or working harder or finding interesting things to research or learn instead of just completing my assigned role to the best of my ability. Stuff to think about.

Grad School Stuff

I had a little down time at work today, so I thought I'd start the search of schools and programs to see what my options are. I went to Stanford first (of course) and there are two professors that have really interesting areas of research. Both are in design.

When I graduated from BYU I thought that the thermal and fluid sciences were the most interesting to me. After a few years of being away from school I realize I just liked them because everyone thought they were hard and I would feel like the smartest person if that were my real interest. Now, I just really don't think that is the stuff I like. I really like the idea of learning better ways to design things and make them more useful for consumers. This falls perfectly into the description of one of the profs at Stanford (my dream school).

I think tomorrow I'll email him and see what specifically he does for his research. Any suggestions on how to go about proving to him that I am the BEST qualified grad student and he would be a fool not to fully fund my education?!?!

Why I love Colorado

Growing up I never really did very many athletic/outdoorsy things. I grew up in Seattle where it rains 9 months of the year, making any kind of hiking or camping pretty hard. Plus, my mom grew up in Utah, so she had attitude about skiing on slushy snow. As a result I ended up doing mostly indoor things. I play the violin, love going to the movies, know my way around the Seattle science center like a pro, and have been to the best aquariums in the world.

When I moved out to Colorado I was all of the sudden thrust into a totally foreign environment. People here don't know how to do anything but play outside. It is just a given that everyone is into mountain biking, rock climbing and snow skiing. Well, I've decided that instead of letting the fact that I am really bad at this stuff because I just haven't been exposed stop me from trying it, I'd give it a whirl. I LOVE this stuff. Sometimes I wake up dreaming of a bluebird ski day in the middle of the summer.

Saturday morning I went out to the lake to try windsurfing for the first time. This is a GREAT sport! The wind was really light in the morning so I was able to really get the feel of pulling the sail up out of the water and sheeting into the wind. A little bit later the wind picked up and I was truckin across the water. It was WAY cool.

This morning I went waterskiing before coming into work. I can get up on one ski pretty regularly, but sometimes I cut too hard coming back into the wake and I end up eating it. My body is going to be REALLY sore tomorrow. Good thing the mail man hinted that he might give me a back massage tonight. (cross your fingers)

Tonight at FHE we are playing ultimate frisbee. I'm actually becoming one of the better players. I never knew it, but half of being good at sports is just thinking that you are actually good at it. This is something that I learned up on the slopes at Vail. If you grit your teeth and believe that you can get down a hill, you usually can.

Everyone probably is like, "duh" to this realization, but I have never really been sporty at all, so it is a new thing for me.

At church on sunday the mail man completely ignored me and talked with his exgirlfriend the WHOLE three hours. I was really annoyed, but then I realized that he's not my boyfriend, and I've only known him for two months. He dated his exgirlfriend for over a year, so obvioulsy their friendship means more to him than ours does. It just hurts a little to realize that, you know?

Last night we were over having family dinner at Amy's house (not my roommate Amy, another one). It was the best group of people. Eric, Brett, Amy, Kristian, and Jocelyn. That Jocelyn is just so cool. I really feel lucky to know her. She is so laid back and chill all the time, I really need to work on being more like that. By the end of the night Amy had pulled out a big piece of cardboard and she and Eric were attempting to breakdance on it. Too bad neither of them really know what they were doing, but they looked good doing it. Again, there was another awkward moment with Eric. I don't want to date him at all, but sometimes I find myself thinking that making out with him really wouldn't be all that bad.

During church yesterday I said something really mean to a good friend and instantly knew I shouldn't have said it. For some reason my big annoying pride got pricked and I didn't have the guts to admit I had been in the wrong and say I was sorry. I tried to talk to him after church, but he left right away. Then, I saw him again later that night and by then I just felt dumb about the whole thing. I should have just said I was sorry right away. Why can't I accept reproof?

As a sidenote: Mags, you will notice that there is no description of what I ate all weekend. Pretty impressive huh?!?!