Dear Chicago,

Over the course of my life I've heard many great things about you. It seems like everytime someone has visited your welcoming borders they have left with warm reviews and a heart full of great memories. People I've met from your shining beacon of a city have had nothing but great things to say about their formative years and your positive impact upon them.

The fist contact I had that helped establish in me your glowing reputation was my college roommate. She had the funniest yet endearing Chicago accent and, to my somewhat inexperienced Washingtonian ears, it was quite pleasing. Add to that all the great and hilarious stories she told about her adventures in and around your city limits and I was hooked. I started to have an unconscious bond. I felt that I would just like you so much if we ever had the chance to meet. Kind of how I feel about Alison from Project Runway this season.

Anyway, adding fuel to my flame of Chicago-an love I met a really cool girl the summer I spent interning in Logan, UT. She wasn't from Illinois, but she went to Northwestern and told me all about how, despite it being so hot and humid in the summer that it killed some Northwestern football players (yikes!), it was just the coolest place to be for culture and jazz.

The next summer I had a crush on a boy who loved the Bears.

Then my best friend from high school moved to an apartment 1 block from Lake Michigan. She told me about the nightlife, the interesting people she's met, the salsa class she's taking and this image of how cool and awesome it would be to live there was almost too overpowering to stay away.

Unfortunately, that all has come crashing down with your actions over the past few days.

You've taken the ear doctor from me (for the weekend) and I miss him terribly. I never thought I'd be the type of girl to miss someone so badly when they've been gone only 2 days. What have you done to me? You've duped me my entire life into thinking you were a great city. A place to be. And now what? You've pulled the rug out from under my feet.

I feel so exposed and ashamed. Rendered naked and powerless by my own susceptibility to be manipulated. How could you do this to me?

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear 7th grade PE teacher,

So, I'm sure you realize that the students you are responsible for "teaching" are at a vulnerable age. I don't think there is one 7th grade female in the entire country who is happy with how she looks or who feels completely accepted by the other girls around them. 7th grade girls are the centers of their own universe. Every comment made leaves an indelible mark in the psyche of that girl. A mark which many times stretches deep into their adult lives. A mark that lingers deep, hidden, buried inside that girl affecting who she is and how she views herself.

I would be willing to bet that every woman can trace the inception of a current insecurity back to this age.

My biggest insecurity (that I'm going to share with the internet)?

I'm athletically challenged.

Guess where that comes from?

Remember the day we were practicing our "speed walking" on the track outside Ferrucci Jr. High?

I'd missed class the day before and didn't get the instruction about proper speed walking techniques. Anyway, that day was cold and damp, like almost every day in early spring in Western Washington. I could feel the steam from my breath develop before it even left my mouth. I already didn't really want to be doing this, but as I walked down to the track mud stuck to the bottom of my converse all-stars making each step an even more monumental task. A shrill whistle sounded and we were off. I hung back with my friends talking and laughing until we were absolutely forced to move. I was walking along, keeping pace with them for the first lap, but then I got annoyed at their speed. I've never really been one to do what I don't want to, so I slowed down and made them slow with me. Then, half way through lap two I hear a pop and static and then your loud booming voice coming over your megaphone,

"Timothy, that doesn't look like a speed walk"

Complete. Horror.

Not only had I been called out of the entire class and my last name bellowed over a loudspeaker but my athletic ineptitude announced for the world to hear.

Thus, we see the inception of my fears.

From 7th grade small similar experiences built upon that foundation. I was picked last for a softball game. I missed an important shot at basketball. I hit the volleyball clear into the other court. I had totally convinced myself that I belonged to a class of girls to awkward for their own good.

That weakness has stayed with me into my adulthood.

Last night it was ended.

At kickball for the past two seasons I have relegated myself to right field. Knowing that the co-ed team needed alive and breathing females to be able to play, but not wanting to let everyone down with my lack of skillz, right field was the place for me. I haven't seen much action in the field, but I also haven't had a chance to let down my team, and I was ok with that.

Last night a left-footed kicker stepped up to the plate. There were two outs and the bases were loaded. We were down by 5 runs and at the top of the last inning of our last game of the season. If we didn't get this guy out the game was over.

I steeled my nerve.

The pitch was fast and right down the middle. The 6'3" David Beckham look alike wound up for the kick and booted it. As if in slow motion the ball hurtled up and out in my direction. For a moment I thought, "this is it. Catch it or die."

It dropped down, and because I wasn't perfectly lined up (darn stadium lights), it bounced off my left shoulder and shot straight up into the air. Time stood still. My heart broke. I'd let my team down, the season is over and everyone will remember that "Timothy can't speed walk".

Then, I realized that the ball was still hovering in the air. The red rubber was calling me, beckoning me to it. I realized that there was still a chance I could get it. I reached out with both hands, bobbled it up in the air, secured it with both hands while diving and rolling onto my back. I held it aloft from my grassy bed and was stunned at what just happened.

I stood up, ball of victory in hand and for 2 seconds just took in the scene. David Beckham was rounding first, looking back in total disbelief. The opposing team was jumping in my shared amazement. The ear doctor was running toward me at full tilt.

When I regained my senses I spiked the ball and jumped into the ear doctor's arms. I'm not a dork. Someone with those kind of crazy good kickball skillz is not an awkward loser who would get picked last for a sport. I saved our shot at the game. I did it. Me.

I am a jock.

Sincerely,
Katie

Dear Will Ferrell,

Saturday night my lover took me out for some Spicy lamb shanks and to see Talladega Nights.

Cinnamon and Gravy was it good!

That's why I go to your movies. I love your work and you made me laugh so hard I actually had to bend over to prevent my gut from rupturing. You always do.

The only critique I have is that there should have been more cowbell.

I've got a fever.

Sincerely,

Katie

PS Tell Cal that I also like to picture my Jesus with giant Eagle wings singing back up for Lynyrd Skynyrd. Classic.

Dear Alissa,

Hey girl nice hat!

I'm really excited to see you tonight at the Boulder county fair and get to know you. There are so many interesting facets of rodeo royalty that I have always wanted to know.

For instance:

Where do you get those shirts? The ones with the glitter fringe hanging from them. You can't find that stuff in normal stores so do you order it off the internet or what? Are they one of a kind? Special order?

Is it hard to hold up those flags while the horses are racing around the arena? It sure looks tough. I mean, with all that drag so far away from where you hold it there must be some pretty killer moment loads that you have to react with your little, delicate hand. (just watch the nerd in me come out)

Is the size of your belt buckle related to your status? Do they give them to you when you win the crown?

Do you have to wear jeans that come all the way up to your armpits?

How do you keep your hair so curly? My hair would never hold curl long enough to last from the National Anthem all the way through the bull riding, no matter how much aquanet I used. Is this one of the criteria for winning the title because if it is that would be discriminatory against straight-haired people. And that is just wrong.

What do you have to do to win the title? Are you just selected or is there a pageant of sorts? If so, do you have to ride a horse during the swimsuit competition because I think that would be a little awkward.

Anyway, lets get together tonight after the bull riding/fighting rodeo that the ear doctor and a bunch of friends and I are going to.

You can split a funnel cake with me and ride in my car on the Ferris wheel. That is unless you barf easily. If that's the case you'll have to sit in your own car.

Later pal!

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Cesar Millan,

Last night all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch with the ear doctor and watch a movie. We were going to go swing dancing (like we usually do on Tuesdays) but I was so tired from moving most of my boxes of stuff (no thanks to Mr. T) that I just couldn't even consider driving all the way down to Denver. Anyway, that's not important.

What is important is this: We rented two movies from Blockbuster and brought them home. I really wanted to get some Spumoni ice cream (which, BTW they don't stock at Safeway...very frustrating).

We popped the first movie into my DVD player....home movie. It was a documentary about 5 families and their home videos. Sounded like it had the potential to be hilarious.

Anyway, the DVD player started to spin up and then crapped out. I was so pissed that my year old player had decided to be lame and not work. Why is it that DVD players are such pieces of junk? I've had 3 in the past 5 years. It's not like I really work them all that hard and they just stop working. I freakin hate that I am forced to go back and buy yet ANOTHER one. Ugh.

Anyway, that's not important either.

What is important is that because we couldn't watch our rented movies we stumbled upon your show in the National Geographic channel.

You, my friend, are amazingly entertaining to watch! I really couldn't get enough of your advice and the role you play in rehabilitating dogs.

Your show is both educational and insightful and if you applied your advice to people and children a lot more people in this world would be a whole lot better off. This is what I mean:

You say that there are three main things a dog needs in life: exercise, discipline and affection. Are these not the same things people need? In fact, don't you think that our society in general is having a wicked backlash because people are not raised with these three basic necessities? Why is it that people are so interested in teaching their dogs this lessons and providing these integral tenets to the dogs in their lives but fail to do so in their children? See what I'm getting at?

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for providing such a rad show.

I've already got the next episode waiting for me on my TIVO.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Mr. T,

As I mentioned to you on the phone yesterday, I'm planning on starting my move from one side of Boudler to the other tonight.

During our phone call I was pretty sure that you committed to helping the ear doctor move my broken futon because I am totally unable to lift and maneuver it at all and the ear doctor could use some help.

However, the email I received from your agent this afternoon informed me that instead of showing up to my house to help move you've instead decided to rip off your shirt, don way too much gold jewelry and fashion a belt buckle out of letters and numbers you ripped of someone's apartment door.

I find this completely unacceptable.

Add this behavior to the subversive measures you went to last night to misdirect half of my kickball team and you start to understand my frustration. Seriously, we had to forfeit because you told everyone that other things were more important and/or the game was an hour after the posted schedule reported.

Please shape up or ship out of my life.

Sincerely,

Katie

PS I have to give you props on choosing gold over silver....much more this season.

Dear Michael Buble,

Hey pal, how's it goin?

Just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that the show you played for my birthday in Spokane last week was freakin cool.

However, I've never been to a concert like yours before. Ever. And I have to admit that I've been to quite a few concerts in my time.

No one warned me that your concert, while filled with absolutely AMAZING music, lighting and stage presence, would be completely attended by crazy, randy, 40-somethings.

These women all flocked up to the stage and stretched out their hands to have that one brief moment of ecstasy that would be physically contacting you. It was strange. Does it ever make you kind of uncomfortable to be lusted after by women your mom's age (or older)? That would be pretty weird for me.

However, your show was just so good that I can over look that. I am so glad that you are around singing old standards. As a swing dancer and lover of everything vintage I am so impressed by your ability to conjure up the coolness of a bygone era. People of our generation hardly know the old songs of Ella and Frank. When I make a joke about the rat pack they shake their head, look at me and say, "did you mean to say 'snack pack' like from Billy Madison?"

So yeah, good show. Did you get a chance to see any of Spokane while you were there? I called you like a bazilllion times to see if you wanted to hang out with the ear doctor and I but you never returned my calls. (which, Mikey, is really quite rude). Anyway, here is a weekend re-cap of the activities that you missed out on.

The day after the show we went downtown to the thriving metropolis of Spokane, WA and saw Monster House. The lead character totally reminded me of my cousin Tyler. Then, we had a freakin awesome bbq with my bff Kathy and her baby Olivia (her hubby Matt came too). Olivia is getting so big and totally walks on her own now (kind of).

Friday morning the ear doctor, my mom and I drove out to the Hiawatha trail in Montana and did a 16 mile bike ride along an old railway track. It was beautiful. Western Montana is right up there for the most beautiful places on the earth.

Saturday I took my dad golfing at the course I worked in high school. Michael, I was totally hitting the ball like a pro! I was starting to have visions of my Nike endorsement and my joint celebrity status with Tiger. I only lost 2 balls!

On Sunday the most amazing thing happened. I flew from Spokane to Denver (via a layover in Vegas) without a single mishap. Both flights were on time, I got the seats I wanted, my luggage came over fine and I found my car without incident. It was really an amazing feat. I'm sure you can remember the days when you used to fly commercial airlines so you can truly appreciate how rare this is.

Thanks again for putting on that great show. If you're ever in Denver and looking for a place to stay my futon has your name written all over it.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Michelle Kwan,

Hey pal! What's up? Its been a while since we caught up. So long, in fact that I was totally surprised when you helped the ear doctor throw me the most awesome birthday weekend ever.

So, I'm sure you know everything that happened, but I just wanted to fill you in on all the details, because that's what girlfriends do, you know? Cool.

So Saturday we went to the renaissance festival. It was freakin so much fun. The ear doctor's parents went with us and they were their typical hilarious and fun selves. There were so many crazy dressed up people; I was in people watching heaven. What possesses a full grown man to don a tunic and pull up the tights I will never really understand.

We had a turkey leg (finally) and a bbq pork sandwich. Also, they had this treat there that I've never had before and was delicious. They cut an orange in half and that froze a mound of orange or strawberry Italian ice to the top of the halved orange. It was freakin amazing. The ear doctor and I decided that at our next BBQ were were going to do the same thing except with limes and raspberry sorbet. Michelle, you would have just died over the little girls all dressed up as princesses. You would have been so jealous of their sparkles.

Then, after the festival we came home and the ear doctor took me to my favorite place in Denver for dinner.

You totally know the place I'm taking about, don't you? It's so cool that you know me so well.

Tamayo is SOOOOO awesome.

After dinner we went to see you and your pal Sasha Cohen at Champions on Ice. I totally love that they respect you and your accomplishments and don't make you do the cheesy (yet wonderful) closing number. When Sasha kind of slipped and fell on her bum it was slightly reminiscent of the games, and it was pretty clear to everyone there that Shizuka really is the best and rightfully won the medal this year.

Michelle, can I just take a minute to brag about how rad my boyfriend is? I doubt that he would ever in a million years want to go to see you skate your little booty off of his own free will. He knows how much I like ice skating and went because (a) you and I are such good friends and he likes to make a good impression on my friends and (b) I secretly wish I was living the life of an Olympic ice skater...just like 85% of this nations female population.

Anyway, so yesterday was actually my b-day, but I figured it would kind of be low key because it was Sunday. We both went to church (which was great and if you're ever interested in knowing more about Mormons, let me know) and then went to his house to hang out. I left to go home and take a Sunday nap (my favorite ever). The ear doctor told me to come back to his house at 7 because he was making me a fancy, romantic dinner.

Turns out he was really throwing me a surprise birthday party with all of my friends! He made the most delicious roast and mashed potatoes. I was sad you couldn't come, but with the tour and everything I totally understand. Maybe next year!

Anyway, good luck with the rest of the tour. It was really awesome.

Give me a call so we can catch up soon! I want to hear all of the drama between you, Sasha and Shizuka because I'm sure there is some great dirt.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Leann (Maggie's MIL),

I want to make this hat:



Do you think you could help me figure out the pattern?

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Scalp,

So today you are totally fascinating to me.

This weekend I (rudely) left you out in the sun far longer than the 10 minutes that it takes you to burn. Consequently, you turned a wonderful shade of pink. Actually, judging by the level of pain you caused me, I thought I had actually blistered you right up.

I'm truly sorry about that.

Today you have begun to flake off in huge, disgusting, leprosy-like flakes and as much as I know I should be embarrassed by you I am secretly very intrigued. I've never noticed your personal flare with peeling. You are so unlike my arms, legs and nose when you peel. When they peel it comes off in long, thin, silk-like layers. You, on the other hand, peel off in deep, thick, angry chunks. Chunks that stick in my hair and give the impression of poor hygiene habits. Picking bits of you out of my hair gives me a sick kind of pleasure that I should try to hide but refuse to.

Right now you are so itchy that I wish I could just spend the rest of the afternoon in front of a mirror getting every little bit out.

But I won't.

I'll save that for tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Grandma Jane,

I don't know if I've ever told you this or not, but I think you are amazing.

Now that I'm not at BYU anymore I really miss being able to pop over to your house. When I became overwhelmed by the strange and foreign atmosphere surrounding campus I would take a break, drive 10 minutes, and be engulfed in a haven of family and love. I remember having homework and projects looming over me, stifling my creativity and all but damming my ability to smile. All of that pressure would loom large until I drove up University to your house.

It was like hiking in the mountains when the clouds sink low into the valleys. You stumble, strive and struggle through the murky clouds until you finally reach the cloudline. Then, suddenly and without warning you break through and the sun is shining so intensely that you have to squint to take in the brightness coupled with relief.

That was invaluable to me.

The time we spent hanging out in the sunroom eating re-heated homemade chicken soup and watching the birds in the pond reminded me of what was important. It kept me grounded, sane and real. It gave me perspective. When Maggie got to live with you her last semester at BYU I was so jealous. I couldn't believe how lucky she was to have to best two roommates in the world. When she told me about how you guys all ate dinner together every night and went to see gardens on the weekends I was green with envy.

I love you. I love everything about you. I love it that you go to the gym about 10 times more often that I do. I love that you are so busy and full of life. I love that I can help you figure out your computer. I love that you have every spice in the world in your spice cabinet. I love that your garden is the most amazing on the block. I love that you send me cards you printed out from your computer.

Which is why I love that you were so thoughtful to get me the perfect birthday present this year. My birthday isn't until Sunday and two days ago I got a box in the mail. I didn't even put it together that it might be a gift, but when I opened it up and found the most beautiful, gleaming 8" chef knife I was so stunned that I was speechless. I've already used it a bunch of times and it makes everything so much easier on me. It really helps this new-found cooking passion of mine. I even let the ear doctor use it just to show him the amazing difference having an awesome knife makes.

So thank you grandma. From the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Derek W,

Thank you so much for saying that I am witty and that my blog was funny and cool today at lunch. Sometimes I start to wonder if my writing is enjoyable to anyone besides myself, but when people compliment it without any prodding at all its nice.

It really made me happy.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Boss,

Thanks so much for the surprise today.

After my long and awesome trip out to Lake Tahoe (pictures will be coming later) I was kind of dreading coming back to work this morning. Your little gift made it much easier.

Now, instead of trying to keep five windows open at once I have two beautiful monitors to use.

I feel so loved and very hi tech. I promise to use this new monitor to its fullest capacity. It really means a lot to me that you would invest your money in making my job easier. Now when people glance into my office they will see the majesty that is my dual monitor computer system and realize how very important I am.

Because, we all know, your level of importance in the workplace is measured by how cool your computer set-up is. Or was that how your dork level is rated? I can't remember.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Bryan, Alan, Becky, and James,

I just wanted to show you what you are going to be missing this weekend:



Yes, what you are looking at is the weather report for Lake Tahoe this weekend. That perfect weather prognosis is what Britt, Derek and I will be enjoying. While we will miss you all, we want you to know that we will be having a fabulous time in one of the most beautiful places in the country with the most spectacular weather you could ask for.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear New House,

For the last three weeks the majority of my brain power has been dedicated to a housing search. Turns out I am kind of picky when it comes to places to live. This is probably directly attributable to the dumps that I chose to live in while attending college. Now I feel like I've paid my dues and really don't want to ever slide back into the mindset of being able to live anywhere.

I've spent hours upon hours searching craigslist, rent.com and rentclicks. Cross-referencing, cataloging, printing listings I've put together a fairly impressive index of available rental properties in Boulder.

However, at the end of last week I found you. You little gem hiding out in North Boulder. I love everything about you, from your 3.5 bathrooms to your vaulted ceilings. From your shuttered windows to the calm sage green walls of the master bedroom. It was like you and I were made for each other. I can't wait to sign the lease and begin paying your owner's mortgage.

I thought that once I had found "the one" this restlessness in my soul would be appeased. I thought that everything would calm down and I'd be able to work really hard in other areas of my life (aka work, church, relationships). Alas, this has not been the case.

From the very moment that I've found you my head has been reeling. I keep thinking about how best to go about decorating you. I search bedding, kitchens, craft spaces, laundry rooms, bathrooms, wall decor, area rugs, throw pillows, furniture, it goes on and on. My head is spinning around this stuff so much that I feel like my eyes just spin around and around like a quarter going down one of those funnel-shaped donation buckets.

My daily clicks to news sites and family blogs have warped into this mad infatuation with sites like Oh Happy Day, Decor8, Domino and Oh Joy!

Please, tell me that I'll do a good job of making you into my perfect little space. Tell me that I'll be able to afford everything I want to do. Tell me everything will be alright. I'm starting to feel out of control.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Rain,

In case you didn't get the memo, this is Colorado. The place where it is dry as a bone and people who live here love that fact.

Consequently, when you choose to come and POUR all weekend you seriously cramp everyone's style. All I have heard at work this morning is about the rain. Someone complains about it and then someone else tells them not to be upset because we "really needed it."

I just wanted to let you know what I missed because of your behavior. To give you some kind of preface for this story, I have to go back to the first summer I lived in Colorado....summer of 2002. I was a lowly intern with the company that I work for now. I was living in crappy, nasty student housing up on the hill with no airconditioning and two roommates who wouldn't speak to me when they found out I was Mormon. One day at work I heard someone telling a story of their weekend. The started to describe something that I very much wanted to see. The renaissance festival.

Basing my assumptions on the interesting people who were part of the sword and quill club at BYU, I was immediately intrigued by this event and went to the source of all information to do a little research. The internet. There I found that the Colorado renaissance festival was a huge event occurring every year where people dressed up, jousted, and fenced. Unfortunately for that season I was too late; the festival ended at the end of July.

Upon returning to BYU I put this serious disappointment aside, thinking I would probably never return to the great state of Colorado. Imagine my delight when fortune turned at the end of my senior year and I indeed ended up back in Colorado.

Summer of 2003 was a hard one for me. I didn't really know anyone and spent the majority of my weekends flying home or driving up into the mountains to visit friends from BYU. I didn't have the sway over anyone to induce them to come with me down to Larkspur.

Fast forward through the next two summers when camping trips and weddings derailed my attempts to attend.

At the beginning of this summer I was set on going to the festival. I made up a schedule of every weekend in summer and found the only day I could go was July 8. July 8th was to be the day when my ultimate desire was to be satiated. I was looking forward with heady anticipation.

When I woke up Saturday morning and saw that you had chosen to foil my plans by arriving in a very unseasonable monsoon that lasted ALL DAY LONG I was amazed. At first I looked out of my window, staring in complete unbelief. How could this happen to me? I'd made a plan! I am outraged! Oh well, I guess it'll be alright. Fine, I'll just go next year.

Anyway, I guess it's good that you came. We needed the rain.

Sincerely,

Katie

PS You owe me a turkey leg.

Dear Joey,

I recently heard about your defeat and wanted to send you my most sincere condolences. I am very proud of your efforts and think that you should have won this last weekend.

There is only one thing that I really truly look forward to watching on ESPN, but this year the event carried with it a sting of betrayal. No, I'm not talking about the scandal of the tour de France-cyclist-blood-doping fiasco. I'm talking about the ridiculous outrage that I experienced when I discovered that you were ROBBED of that beauty of all beauties.... the coveted mustard yellow belt given to the champion of the annual Nathan's hot dog eating competition on Coney Island.

For the last couple of years I have witnessed the amazing eating prowess of your Japanese competitor, Takeru Kobayashi. I was amazed that he ate with the speed and skill of a trained samurai. No one even came close to his abilities.

However, this year there was one man who rose out of the ranks of obscurity to truly challenge Kobayashi's kung-foo grip on the competition.

An American.

You, Joey Chestnut, were the common man I could get behind. The shy, quiet, every-man engineer that I could relate to. Reviving the American spirit for the 4th of July and reminding us all of why we are who we are. Why we do what we do. You were the clear victor.

Sure, Kobayashi ate more dogs than you did. I'll admit that all the live long day. However, it was a clear as the lemonade you used to soak your bun and slide it down your throat that he should be disqualified. He broke one of the cardinal rules of the sport. He should be disgraced, disbarred and dismembered for accepting the victory.

He vomited a bit of his 49th dog back into his lemonade cup.

Granted, he did slurp it back down and continue on but I do not agree with the official line the judges are trying to spin. Who on earth could buy this trash:

"The effluvia never touched the table," Kuntzman said, a distinction he claimed was part of the International Federation of Competitive Eating's official rules. "When the hot dog came up, and some of it came out his nose, Kobayashi sucked it back down. To me, that's the testament of a champion and great athlete."

Joey, don't let this set back dissuade you from your true calling in competitive eating. You are a true athlete who will rise again. You have my support.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Adam Sandler,

I have to admit, I've been a fan of your work for quite some time. I've loved almost everything you've ever put out there. From your light and goofy era of Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison to your more romantic side of Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates it's all been good. (I'm pretending here that that animation 8 crazy nights never happened).

Not only have you provided much needed tension-releasing entertained in my life, but the life lessons you've taught me have come in quite handy. Occasionally I find myself falling back to your silver screen antics to solve one of my personal problems. For example, yesterday I considered depositing a flaming bag of poo on Meeeeee-gan's doorstep. Oh what sweet revenge it would have been to watch from her bushes as she jumped up and down on the bag to put out the flame while her husband and all the neighbors looked down on her disturbing the peace of their neighborhood.

Last night the ear doctor and I went to see your new movie Click. I was prepared for a few laughs and some light hearted comedy. What I got was far more.

That movie was excellent. It went beyond your normal bounds of love-at-first-sight romance or seeing some loser overcome his losery-ness.

It actually made me tear up and cry. It made me examine my life and make sure I had my priorities right.

It was moving, deep and powerful.

So thank you. For being yourself, for staying true to who you are and doing what you do best.

On a side note, I also think it is very cool that every movie you make has some aspect of Judaism it in. Props.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Meeeeeeee-gan,

As I told you during our first phone conversation I saw your listing for a 4 bedroom house to rent on craigslist. From what I could tell in the photos supplied, your home is really quite cute and may be just what my friends and I are looking for. You seemed cordial enough on the phone during our first conversation. However I have since learned your true nature.....that of heinous spawn of the devil.

Your true colors shone through brilliantly yesterday when I called to make a follow up for our walk through of your rental. In my most friendly, yet efficient and responsible-renter tone I introduced myself again and before I had a chance to confirm our appointment that YOU MADE I was rudely interrupted.

You informed me that you had spoken with your husband and all the neighbors and decided that we weren't good enough for your precious little area. I guess at the neighborhood council last night you had them all up in arms about the 4 wild hooligans that were interested in turning their idyllic sanctuary of a neighborhood into the kind of place that little children wouldn't be safe out at night.

And I guess you're right to worry about the 4 faithful, church-going, full-time employed, college graduates and their tendency to not only bring down the property values of the neighborhood by parking our 23 broken down cars on blocks in front of the house, but also start a meth lab in the basement. That likelihood is very high.

Good luck trying to find a small family to rent your house....for $2000/mo.

I have a news flash for you. If I was a small family and had enough money to afford a $2000/mo rent I would BUY a house, not rent something in an overprentious, stuck-up, nosy, and not really all that nice neighborhood.

And I hope you take my suggestion to heart. Remember? The one where I said you should change your craigslist ad to say something like,

This renter is only interested in renting to small families. She heartily supports discrimination based on life circumstances outside of ones control. Don't even think of applying unless you are a small family with a ridiculously large income and don't have the brains to actually buy housing and start gaining some equity with all that money you throw around. And really, if you are anything but white, upperclass and own at least two audis (or equivalent) you will never be accepted in the neighborhood so you might as well not even apply.

Good luck finding a renter.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear guy who was riding his motorcycle to work without a helmet,

This morning when you pulled up beside me at the stoplight at 27th and Baseline you looked over at me in my car and gave me the rudest look.

Was that really necessary?

I mean, I was only belting Mariah Carey's "Hero" at the top of my lungs with every window open. Is that really so offensive?

Oh, I see your point.

Carry on.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Bed,

Since I have been back from Oregon I have slept in you twice. Neither night has been restful. You have done your very best to preclude me from entering your soft refuge of shedded feathers of fowl and I'm left questioning why?

Have I done something to offend you?

Are you taking out your anger in a passive-aggressive (non)statement?

It seems that way to me.

Every night I fall asleep on my back with my hands folded serenely over my torso. Every night, that is, until I got back from my trip. Now when I flop in bed I am immediately impelled to turn over onto my stomach. I never sleep on my stomach. I don't like sleeping on my stomach.

Anyway, I think your behavior is childish.

If you have a problem with me you have to tell me.

I'm not a mind reader here.

I hate to throw around ultimatums, but if you don't allow me into your cool cocoon of comfort tonight I'm going to target to get new sheets.

Don't tempt me because I will do it.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Jenny and Jordan,

Look what happened:

Jenny's love of my buddy Bill

and

Jordan's love of the puddin pop pusher

Eerie, no?

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Oregon State,

Last weekend I took a trip up to your lovely campus to see my little sister graduate from college.

First let me comment on what a beautiful location you've chosen for yourself. The Willamette valley is one of the most breathtaking places on the planet. It is so green and intense that I felt like I was driving through a mural. Also, Corvallis itself is adorable. There were so many gorgeous old houses with character and charm. And the intense scent of the mint fields just up the road made my olfactory senses reel in nirvana.

However, there were a few things about the trip that I feel compelled to point out. I do this, not because I am a complainer, but because I feel like if you don't know what is wrong you can never fix it. And I'm all about being helpful.

There should be some kind of warning as soon as you enter the valley to anyone who has hayfever to pick up their SARS mask before driving any further. I had the worst allergies of my life this weekend. My head felt like exploding. Although the Pollyanna in me did come out when I realized I probably lost 5 lbs in snot alone.

Also, after receiving their degrees almost half of the student body just got up and walked out of the ceremony. By the time the handing out of the degrees was done the seats down on the field, intended for the graduates to enjoy one last celebratory moment together, were half way emptied. All of the Masters students had left even before the undergrads had even got anything! I felt like it was very tacky and rude not to wait to support the others. I've never seen anything like it. My thoughts were this, "if you don't want to sit through the ceremony and don't want to walk that's fine...Don't come to the ceremony. But don't come, sit through all of the pomp and circumstance for 2 hours and leave before my little sister (whose last name starts with a W and was part of the last department to walk) has a chance to get hers. Its all or nothin folks"

Thanks for taking the time to read this letter.

Go Beavs!

Sincerely,

Katie

PS My dad thought your stadium was awesome.

PPS Serving concessions during graduation is a genius move.

Dear Heidi's,

Oh my gosh. You will never believe what the ear doctor did for me.

So remember the other day when we tried to have you for lunch and I had to be back to work for a really stupid meeting. Come on, remember? It was the day I didn't get to eat there because the ear doctor and I got preoccupied and didn't show up to your door until 20 minutes before my meeting started. Well, I decided I didn't want to chance being late for the meeting, so I left the ear doctor there and headed back to my office.

That whole afternoon I was totally starving because I hadn't had time to eat.

So last night the ear doctor said that he had a surprise for me. Excitedly, I waited until after our institute (bible study) class. Then, the ear doctor pulled me into the little kitchen area. He pulled out two small square Styrofoam take-out containers.

He opened the first one and there was one of your beautiful cannolis. As he reached for the second one I said out loud, "if there is an eclair in that box you are the man of my dreams."

He reached over and unlocked the little Styrofoam tab and there it was. The eclair. We both sat on the counter talking and laughing and enjoying your delicious gourmet desserts. It was awesome.

Oh, Heidis, I think I love this man.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear neighbor,

I think it is very important to be nice to your neighbors. In my head I still hold this idyllic image of everyone on the block getting together for 4th of July BBQ's. I like thinking that when someone new moves in you bring a plate of cookies because you want to get to know them.

This is why it pains me to have to write this letter.

This morning as I lay in my bed at 6:45 am, I was in a half awakened state. This is my favorite part of the morning. Laying there and realizing that I can turn over, tuck my down comforter up under my chin, search my right foot around for a cool spot in bed and fall back to sleep for half an hour.

Then, your thoughtlessness interrupted my revere.

You started to mow your lawn.

In the etiquette of neighborly-ness (on which I'm sure Emily Post is currently working) it is commonly known that you don't start mowing your lawn at a time when you will be waking up the entire neighborhood.

You and the guy who is re-roofing his house (at 7 am) need to get together and make a pact about this.

Thanks so much for your understanding. I hope this won't damage our relationship, but if you continue I'm going to have to start letting my roommate's dog poo on your lawn.

Fair is fair.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Rockies,

Saturday night I braved the traffic down the Denver with a bunch of friends to watch you play a game against the Dodgers. But, I have to be honest with you because that is what real friends do, I've never really liked baseball. The game is slower than basketball, usually doesn't have the eye candy like football or soccer, and for some reason I always end up with my ankles splashed by someone else's warm beer.

Nevertheless, this outing was my idea and my sacrifice because the ear doctor loves the Dodgers. I thought, because your reputation for less than stellar baseball prowess, that the ear doctor would have a great time seeing his team demolish the competition.

Imagine my surprise when, after hiking the equivalent of Mt. Everest and finding found our seats in the very top of the stadium, in the first inning you had already pulled ahead of your adversaries!

Additionally, I had a personal sports-related first. In between my first course of foot-long hotdog and giant diet coke and second course of twisted cinnamon sugar covered pretzel I saw one of the players break the bat! And, even though my friend Super-Softball-Chick (SSC) derided me for it, I experienced childlike fascination with the long, pointy shard of wood that came flying out almost to the first baseman.

Usually I get very bored with the game by the beginning of the 6th inning, but the game you provided this Saturday managed to keep my interest. You must have been giving the game your best effort (because I was there?) because you were leading the Dodgers the whole game. Although this was frustrating for the ear doctor I found it very interesting.

We walked around the stadium to find some better seats and got to watch the game from every vantage. In the end we returned to our seats in the nosebleeds to meet up with the rest of the group. When we got back the ground at our seats was soaking wet with beer. In the time that we'd left to walk around someone has spilled theirs and I missed getting splashed! How great is that.

In the end of the game there was a very tense moment where there was a full count and 2 outs and the pitcher walked one of the players. I really appreciate you keeping the suspense up and letting me feel that I got my money's worth out of my $9 ticket. Very considerate of you.

All in all, I had a wonderful outing and I really appreciate all your hard work.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear random guy at work,

Alright, I get it. You are more than just a nerdy engineer. You have risen above the countless weekend hours you spent during middle school playing D&D and are now hip, trendy, and have roped in that elusive quality...."coolness."

But please, for all that his holy on God's green earth, STOP TRYING TO PROVE IT BY WHISTLING.

I know you go out to small clubs all around Denver to listen to new undiscovered bands and have the best taste in music. However, why do you feel the need to put those air traffic controller headphones on and whistle along to the burnt copies of the band's CD that the drummer handed you last night after the show?!?!?

Do you realize that the whistling is monotone and pounds in my ears with the unrelenting force of a rabid rebel force?!?!?

And on a Friday afternoon?

Just thought you might like to know how I feel.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear United Airlines,

I'm writing you to express my joy at discovering a new service that you provide. Thank you so much for sending out an automated message to everyone on a flight that you cancel and rebook. In the future, I see this as a potentially very useful feature. Also, while I hope it never happens to me, if my flight does get cancelled it would be very nice of you to let me know before I brave the Denver traffic to get out to the airport.

However, when you called my cell phone at 6 am this morning to tell me that Ron and Renee Schnider's flight to Chicago had been cancelled and their flights rebooked onto a later flight I was a little bit annoyed.

Last night was the hottest night yet in my airconditioning free bedroom. Coupled with the heat, every muscle in my upper body was SCREAMING from my first day of 2006 summer water skiing. The result? I didn't fall asleep until about 3:30 am when it finally cooled down enough in my room that the glass of water on my nightstand stopped boiling. Imagine my delight to be awoken by the ringing of my phone at 6. Also, because I didn't answer it and just let it go to voicemail (foolishly thinking I could just fall back to sleep) I didn't know who it was.

Suddenly, the words of a nagging voice in the back of my head crystallized.

Who would be calling me so early on a Thursday morning? It must be my mom. It must be an emergency. Oh no, my Uncle, who has been suffering with brain cancer for 12 years, has slipped into critical condition. Now I'm going to have to get a plane ticket up to Seattle. I wonder if the airlines reserve seats at cheaper prices for just such emergencies. Can I afford to even go? Can I afford not to go?

Then, on an adrenaline rush I reached over and picked up the phone. Imagine my elation at hearing the metallic voice of a computer telling me that someone else's flight was cancelled. Someone else who gets to leave work and go on a trip. A vacation. A get away.

In summary, I just want to send my congratulations to your company for offering such a helpful service. I hope in the future this type of thing comes in handy for me and saves me a headache. However, it is clear that there are still a few kinks to work out of the system.

I hope my input has been helpful.

Sincerely,

Katie

Top 10 ways to spend a Tuesday morning

The premise of this countdown list is that you aren't on vacation and still have to go to work. Otherwise, obviously, not going to work and playing all day long is the best way to spend any time.

Without further ado:

10. Lay in bed realizing that you have to go to work, but being late won't be a big deal.
9. Wake up not covered in sweat because it got cool enough the night before to take the sweltering edge off of the air inside your 30 year old, air conditioning free house.
8. Wake up 5 minutes before the alarm and feeling totally alert.
7. Go through the morning routine not dreading the next 8 hours you have to spend at work.
6. Say a really heartfelt prayer.
5. Have your mom call you to tell you that she is going to buy you a plane ticket to come home and visit in July for your birthday.
4. Make yourself an English muffin where every little craggy hole is filled to the brim with delicious, melty real butter.
3. Blare your favorite CD with the windows down until the upper-middle class suburban "Ganstas" in the car next to you look over and make a face that says, "I can't hardly hear my own hard core rap over that crap you're blasting.
2. Realize why you like spending time with your roommate.
1. Hit the lake for 2 hours of waterskiing just as the sun is coming up over the rim and have the most beautiful glassy water of your life.

In case you couldn't tell, all of the above happened to me this morning. HOORAY!

Changes

So, in case you haven't noticed, today is the day of the new blog layout (she announces over the deafening screams of excited fans).

I know, I know, this is a much anticipated day.

You are probably feeling a mix of emotions. Everything from excitement and elation to a bit of fear and betrayal.

Don't worry, everything will be alright.

You'll learn to love the new and different parts of life.

Don't be afraid to let go and experience new things. It can be strange and uncomfortable, but in the end you will have grown into such a stronger, more experienced, more empathetic person.

And isn't that what life is all about....growing, learning, developing?

The Hills

Alright, I have to admit something that is slightly embarrassing.

I am a total sucker for high school teen dramas.

Yesterday I left work early and went to see Just my Luck and guess what....I thought it was decent. Predictable, yes. Cheesy, yes. Just like every other movie in this genre, yes. An enjoyable way to spend an afternoon, yes.

Knowing this, you can't really be surprised when I also admit that I liked watching Laguna Beach. It was bizarre to watch those highschoolers and to realize that that was reality for some people. Some people really did go to high school with people who could all be found in the pages of the latest Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue.

Consequently, I was mildly interested in the new show "The Hills" which follows one of the Laguna kids up to LA to keep filming this person's life. Last night I got around to watching it (thankyou DVR).

It was retarded.

It made me mad that because this person is on MTV she got a very coveted internship with a fashion magazine and she can barely even write. Then, her only job at some dumb celebrity party was to keep people from sitting on a few chairs and she couldn't even do that. It just bugs me knowing that there is probably a ton of people out there who are hard working, smart, ambitious people who would die for that job and here is this MTV kid getting their job and screwing it all up. Ugh.

And her little friend Heidi? When she was in an interview with the dean of her new fashion college she flat out told the dean that she pretty much doesn't care about school and just wants to party. A few times the camera panned back to her face and the only adjective I could think of was vapid.

So why is it that I have total patience for these characters last year when they were in high school and now that they're in the "real world" I can't handle it?

After watching the show I felt kind of bad for the characters because in 10 years they will (hopefully) have matured, found what they really wanted in life and contributed to society and they will have a complete season set of DVDs showing how silly and foolish they were at 19.

At least the rest of us have those dark moments undocumented and not presented for entire country to see.

More on marriage

Earlier in the semester I told a friend that I wouldn't marry someone who wasn't of my same religious faith.

He was shocked.

He called me close minded.

I asked him if he had any kind of traits that he was looking for in someone that he was going to spend his life with. He rattled off a list of things like, athletic, smart, preferably from the mid-west, ect.

The subject of our conversation moved on, but since then I've been thinking about it.

Do you think it is more closed minded to not consider marrying someone because they have a different religious belief, or because they didn't like to rock climb?

Is it really so bad to say, "out of the millions of people who I could potentially spend my life with can't I pick to be with someone who shares the same answer to the fundamental questions of existence, like 'why am I here?' 'what purpose does my life have?' "what happens after death?'"

I just don't think that's a close minded choice.

But if you do, tell me. I want to know. I promise not to be offended in any way. I just want to hear other perspectives out there.

I enjoy being a girl...

I don't know why, but I can never find a dress that I like. They are always too short, too long, the wrong color, the wrong cut, the wrong material, poorly made, way too expensive, ect.

However, after reading Jordan's blog (a cool new blog that I really like), I stumbled onto the dress of my dreams.

It is just beautiful. How I long for this dress. Actually, if it were just a little bit different I would probably have to run right out and drop the whopping $350 that it cost. Here are my alterations that would make this dress absolutely perfect.

First, I would add little capped sleeves. Sleeves that just barley sneak over the top of my shoulder. The sleeves would have curved folds in them to keep the line of the swooping material that goes under the bustline.

Second, I would raise the neckline in the back up a bit. I think a low back is very very pretty, but having it that low means that I probably wouldn't wear it to church. I would like to be able to wear this dress-of-perfection everywhere and for anything and the higher back would let me do that.

Memorial Day Awesome-ness

You know what doesn't really work? Keeping popsicles frozen by sticking them 1/4 of the way down into an ice bath while the air outside is about 80 degrees. I know this because this because I had the unfortunate experience of attempting to do this at our bbq yesterday.

As usual, I invited almost every person I know in a 30 mile radius fully expecting that only 10 or so people would show up. Boy was I wrong. We had about 45 people over to my back yard yesterday for the best party I've ever thrown.

The ear doctor and I spend all morning hauling all of my furniture out into the back yard. We set it up with my coffee tables so that it exactly mirrored my normal front room. Then we got to cooking.

We made the following:

• 8 lbs of milansea beef for delicious tacos. This meat we had to go to the Mexican meat market to get the right stuff. You can't just get this at Safeway.
• 2 lbs of filleted, pounded, lime-chicken.
• 3 different homemade blended salsas. These got to be pretty spicy by the time I had a chance to try any.
• a huge bowl of Pico de Gallo (I whipped this up sans recipe thank you very much)
• 20 million pounds of the ear doctor's secret guacamole. Don't even ask for the recipe because it is a trade secret and I'm not telling.
• These awesome beans that had chorizo and bacon in them.
• 5 gallons of fresh squeezed lime juice....alright it wasn't fresh squeezed but I did grate lime zest into the pitcher, so that counts, right?

When everyone showed up we cranked up the Latin tunes and everyone gorged themselves on the delicious food. The entire 3 hours of the party the ear doctor spent manning the grill (so hot to watch him do) and I scurried back and forth from the food table to the kitchen making sure the tortillas were warm and the bowls were fully stocked.

There were people coming and going everywhere in our house and yard and my roommate was such a good sport about it all. I love love LOVED that the ear doctor's friends from school came. I think they are some of the coolest people I know.

Aside from no one coming to my parties, my biggest fear in throwing something like this is that my different circles of friends won't be able to interact. This party totally set those fears aside. My friends all mingled really well and I felt like everyone walked away having had a great time.

Just as the event was winding down, a little rain cloud burst so everyone hurriedly helped move all my furniture back into the house. During this scramble I decided toss the left over ice from the big blue bucket and found a sticky, melted mess. This is when I learned that the freezer really is a better place to keep popsicles if you're going to actually be able to eat them.

After every last dish had been cleaned and the furniture returned to its proper place in my house the ear doctor and I just sat on the couch exhausted. Totally spent, we just looked at each other with glassy, satisfied eyes. It was then that I realized that I like throwing parties....once a year.

Please please please let your thoughts

I know the LDS (Mormon) perspective on this question, but I'm interested in another point of view.

Do you think getting married is nothing more than a piece of paper?

I'm interested to know.

Pitter Patter

Interesting fact: There are more dogs in the city of Boulder than there are children.

I went to Jamba juice this morning to get a Razzmatazz for me an a Peach Pleasure for my co-worker and there was the cutest little boy there. The strange thing was that my first reaction was genuine surprise to see a child. That doesn't really happen here in Boulder. Now that I think about my time here I realize that the past 3 years of living here have been pretty much kid free.

I never really noticed a lack of children until I got back from our trip out to California/Disneyland. Kids were everywhere out there and they were adorable! And then I was talking on the phone with my bff Kathy about here baby and our friends' babies. Then I thought about gff and her little one and now anth is almost there and it kind of stunned me.

Am I the weird one to be surprised to see a little boy running around Jamba juice at 8 on a Thursday morning?

Probably.

In homage to my dad

My dad isn't the most literary guy. I can only recall about 3 books he has ever read in my presence. Still, he understands that a times a well placed verse can really make a point. This is the only poem my dad has ever memorize and I think it perfectly exemplifies his propensity toward verse.

Orange, Orange
Orange Orange,
Have you no mouth to speak from?
Nor hole to utter one word?
Nope

In honor of my dad and his beautiful simple, yet stirring poetry I would like to take you on a tour of everything that I've eaten today.

Breakfast

This delightful little treasure was my breakfast, accompanied by a cool, refreshing glass of water (which has no color so does not count as eating something off theme).








Lunch
So I didn't actually make my own orange slurpee or anything as this picture suggests, but I couldn't find one picture of an orange slurpee on the internet. I thought the internet was supposed to have everything?!?!? Betrayed!

Also, these little elves know what they are doing. The peanut butter in between the two orange crackers isn't technically in keeping with the spirit of this celebration, but I'm choosing to look the other way.







Snack
Cheez-its are my favorite cracker of all time. Nothing else will make me sit on a couch longer crunching away until either my mouth is raw from the sharp, jagged cracker corners, my stomach explodes, or I reach the bottom of the box. If the last one happens I look down at the box, feeling simultaneously guilty (for having eaten them all) and betrayed (that they have left me sitting there all alone).








I haven't had dinner yet, and am kind of worried I won't be think of anything suitable to eat to honor my father to the level he deserves. I know I will find something. I must find something. Because, really, he is worth the effort.

READ MY BLOG

Do you think it is ego-centric for someone to like the idea that strangers out in cyberspace are interested in reading your thoughts via a blog?

If so, I guess I'm ego-centric.

But I really don't think so.

I think the majority of people crave human connections. We crave the feeling of being accepted and belonging. No one wants to have their life go un-noticed. And a blog can fulfill that need beautifully. It enables people to be brutally honest. To be themselves. To develop different parts of their character and explore different points of view and ideas.

Conversely, I like thinking that there are people out there who get excited to see that I've made a comment. That I'm reading and thinking about them.

It is interesting to me that in a society where we are becoming more and more dependent on technology that we have morphed this once sterile, impersonal entity (the internet) into something that people use to make real connections. To experience real emotion. And, in some instances, to become real friends.

I just think that is cool.

PS I also think it is weird that the spell checker built into blogger doesn't recognize "blog" as a word.

California.....knows how to party

So there is no way I'm going to capture all the awesomeness that was this weekend. But here is my attempt at the highlights.

Thursday
Woke up really really early and caught the 7 am flight to LA. It was so early that the sun was just peaking over the flat and dry planes on eastern Colorado by the time we got to the airport. I barely remember finding my seat and sitting down on the plane. I think I was actually asleep before my booty hit the wornout upholstery of the seat. Arriving in LA, found the rental car place and set out. We were going to see the Getty, but instead went out to the valley to see the house where the ear doctor grew up. As we sat in our beautiful gold dodge stratus in front of his house he told me hilarious story after story about him growing up there with the Asian kids down the street. I learned all about the bully up the street and how he and his friends shot pigeons with bb guns. We drove around and saw his grandparents house and his elementary school. It was so cool to see him talk about when he was a little kid.

After the first trip down memory lane, we went to have a hot dog and fries from two quite shady shacks right next to each other. The fries were amazing and from Daglas. The "Cupid's" hot dogs popped when you bit into them. Coupled with an icy diet Pepsi it was the ideal way to start out our food adventures in California.

After lunch we drove up to the Griffith observatory (which was closed) to check out a view of the city. I picked a flower and gave it to the ear doctor up there. Too bad it was the kind he was allergic to. My bad.

Then, we drove down into the hills to see how the other half lived. Man, are those places impressive. We stopped off at the Chinese theater and noticed that Harrison Ford has great taste in footwear. He made his imprints wearing Chuck Taylors, which the ear doctor noticed because he too was wearing them. We were a little puzzled by the presence of Martin Lawrence's hand and footprints there. I didn't really think that his award winning performances in Big Momma's House 1 and 2 deserved that kind of acclaim, but who am I to judge? We drove down Rodeo Dr. (all I can say is wow) and up to the LA temple.

I was exhausted, so the ear doctor let me sleep the whole drive down to Laguna Nigel. We drove up to his high school where he showed me the football field were he earned his glory and honor. I saw the cement flower planter where all of his friends (the jocks) ate their lunches. I saw the spot on the ceiling where is friend spit a lougee that stuck for 6 years. We went to the house he lived in for high school. He took me to an awesome dinner at a restaurant off the San Clemente pier where we sat on a deck eating awesome seafood and watched surfers below ride out some gnarly waves. The "set was totally going off." Exahusted, we finally arrived at the home of some of the ear doctor's parent's friends where we were treated like royalty. I collapsed into my beautiful feather bed.

Friday
I woke up to the sounds of birds chirping and sausage sizzling. Linda, our hostess, had gone to the trouble of making us eggs, sausage and orange rolls in preparation for our big day. I hurriedly got ready for the day and went down to talk with her. She was amazing. One of those women that just open up their hearts and take you in. She is loving and accepting and I was totally impressed. After eating we took off......For.....DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got to the park when it opened and didn't leave until 12:30. The park was practically empty. The longest wait we had for any ride was about 20 minutes. We saw all of disneyland and California Adventure in one day! We ate the following: 2 churros (each), tons of diet coke, chicken strips, butter pecan fudge, apple slices with caramel sauce, enchiladas, and frozen bananas.

Saturday
By now I had become a full fledge adopted daughter into the family we stayed with. Saturday morning we all went out for breakfast at Ted's. As I sat around the big round table and talked with these awesome people I was so amazed by how quickly I'd been induced into their family. Both of the actual daughters met us at Ted's for breakfast and brought their kids so it was messy and loud and hilarious.

After breakfast we started our journey up to Santa Barbara. I tried my very hardest to stay awake during the whole ride, and only dozed off for a second or two. We made it to our hotel in Ventura and the ear doctor collapsed while I got ready for the wedding that night. I woke him up a little too late and we were in a rush to get up to Santa Barbara on time. With only the smallest amount of nerves and worry we made it up to the ceremony just fine. This wedding was one of the most beautiful I've been to. It was at a house on the side of the cliffs overlooking the ocean. The flowers were amazing, the bride was beautiful and the groom was beaming. As usually, I got a little teary eyed during the ceremony. Afterward they had an awesome taco bar and I managed to spill an entire bowl of red chile salsa onto my skirt. Luckily, one of the other guests was the daughter of a dry cleaner and rushed over to help me get the stain out. Lifting my skirt into the air for the whole party to see my upper thigh, she dabbed and spotted and did a fairly great job of getting the stain out. It is still there, but hopefully the skirt will be able to be saved. I was SOOOOO embarrassed but later found out that I wasn't the only person who had spilled the salsa. After toasts and cake and sparklers the dancing started. We danced the night away under a clear sky of Californian stars. It was just like a wedding from a movie. As my legs were about to give out, we left the party and stumbled into our beds.

Sunday
I woke up first thinking I would beat the ear doctor to the shower, thereby hastening our check-out at the Comfort Inn. My bleary, eyes spotted a sheet of paper on the floor of our room that had been shoved under the door. It informed us that the water main of the City of Ventura had burst early that morning and no one knew when water would return. Annoyed and dirty, I put on my cloths and woke up the ear doctor to tell him the news. No showers today. Yuck. Just what I want the morning after dancing all night at a wedding. Anyway, we packed up, complained to the front desk and left to explore a little of Santa Barbara before we had to catch our flight home.

We had breakfast at a really cute restaurant on State street and walked up and down it looking for some good shopping finds. I got a pair of pants from Anthropologie (my favorite store of all time) that were way way way on sale. After our little shopping jaunt, we went up to see the Spanish mission and rose garden. The mission was really cool and we met an awesome little dog in one of the crypts.

Realizing how late it was, we bid a fond farewell to Santa Barbara and headed back to the valley for luck and the bear pit. Eating a bbq lamb sandwich on garlic bread at the bear pit is a family tradition of the ear doctor's. It was awesome food! I loved it! There was sawdust on the floor and everything. The ear doctor even got me a t-shirt so I could remember my first time there.

Reluctantly, we headed back to the airport, returned our golden chariot and fell asleep in the chairs at LAX waiting for our flight. The flight attendants on our flight were very rude and I'm thinking about writing a letter to frontier about it, but probably won't.

Anyway, that's our vacation.

Good News

Just so that you all can share in my awesome feeling this morning I wanted to make a list of everything that is putting a bounce in my step.

1. I just got my grades from last semester and got a 4.0. How awesome is that?!?!?!
2. Tomorrow the ear doctor and I are leaving for a long weekend in California. We are spending one day at Disneyland and two up in Santa Barbara. I've never been up to SB before and I'm really excited. We're going for a friend's wedding and I know it is going to be amazing.
3. My roommate and I are really getting along well right now. That makes such a difference.
4. Last night I hosted a pretty amazing dinner party...so good there were no leftovers at all.
5. The flowers I planted in my front yard last week are taking root and looked beautiful when I left for work this morning.
6. I got a really awesome surprise for the ear doctor that I know he is going to love.
7. I'm thinking about going home to Washington for Memorial Day because I found out that both my brother's family and my sister and her husband are going. If I go then the whole family will be together, which doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like.

That's all. Pretty awesome, huh!?!?

Bone cracking

I don't deal well with intensity.

Last night the ear doctor and I went to watch MI:3. I have to admit I thought it was pretty good. The plot was alright, the characters weren't as unbelievably shallow as they could have been and the people were all nice on the eyes. Plus, that Asian chick totally rocked that red dress at the Vatican.

Anyway, the whole time I was holding the ear doctor's hand. I don't know what it is about me, but high intensity movies induce rigormortis-like cramping in my extremities. Heart-pounding loud music and explosions make my hands curl into little veloca-raptor vice grips. Once during the movie I think I was latching onto his hand so tightly that I actually think I cracked a couple of his knuckles. Weird, huh.

Crazy New Mexicans

On a whim, the ear doctor and I decided to take off last Wednesday and drive down to the Carlsbad Caverns. Our finals were both over, and I hadn't really been able to bring myself back to full time status quite yet. We packed up and took off.

We decided to stay the first night in Santa Fe, so after driving for 6 hours we pulled off the road and found our way to the lovely Super 8. So, in case you don't know this about him, the ear doctor kind of hates Kokopelli. He doesn't understand them and doesn't know why people in the Southwest plaster them all over the place as a decoration. I think it's funny how irked he gets by these little dancing habengers of good luck, so I point them out wherever possible. Before embarking on the trip we thought it would be funny to count how many we saw over the weekend.

Bad idea.

When we unlocked our room of the Super 8 and flipped on the lightswitch was was gleaming back at us? Yes, a centrally located kokopelli cut out complete with his pet lizard and howling coyote. Beautiful. The room on the very first night of our trip was bedecked in the official symbol of the southwest. In the fist day the number of kokopelli grew so enormous that it was too big of a task to undertake. We gave up.

Can I just tell you something? I loved Santa Fe. Such a cute little town with some real roots. It seemed like we'd strolled right into a real Mexico hacienda. If you ever have the chance to be driving through, plan on spending some time there. Get a "Frito pie" from the five and dime, but watch out because it may burn your mouth up like it did mine. Go to the cathedral of St. Francis Assisi, but don't go on a day when there is a funeral, like we did. Talk to the locals because they are friendly, colorful and most of the time crazy. Eat breakfast or lunch at Pascual's cafe and you'll feel like your in a Boulder sister city. Eat dinner at Los Mayas which is complete with a young boy who doesn't speak English mixing guacamole at your table and an ambiance articulated by the blue tarp roof.

Thursday afternoon we bid a fond farewell Santa Fe and hit the road again for the caverns. The road down there goes right through Roswell, NM so of course the ear doctor and I had to stop. Talk about a strange place. The McDonalds had a huge silver UFO to play in and we found our way to a really creepy little store that sold souvenirs and had a walk through diorama of alien landings. I got some socks.

Finally, after 4 more hours of driving we found our way to Whites City, NM where we decided to throw out our tent and camp for the next two nights. We ate dinner at the "Velvet Garter" which I thought was going to be a whole lot sketchier than it was. The food was pretty bad, but there was a salad bar. For some reason, and I didn't really know this about him, the ear doctor loves a salad bar. As a rule I am pretty opposed to paying to serve myself. The food was overpriced, but while we were eating we eavesdropped on a really old couple that argued the entire meal. It was so funny to listen to them bicker back and forth! My stomach was aching by the time we were done from the entertainment.

I think we were the only people within a 10 mile radius under the age of 40 the whole weekend.

The caverns were amazing. I really can't do them justice by describing them, so you'll have to just put it on your list as something to do before you die. Also, one night we watched the Mexican Free-tailed bats come out of the cave. That was seriously mind blowing.

Back in Action

Ahhhhhh






Sweet relief

All I have left of this semester is to finish up one design project. This last 10 days has been pretty harrowing, but there were a few moments of brilliance that made the whole push worthwhile. They shine like little pearls of beauty in the midst of a field of mire, but are so bright that they overpower anything else I can retain in my memory.

Now, it is back to the standard 40 hour work week for an entire glorious summer.

A summer I hope will be filled with water skiing before work, camping over long weekends and going to visit people I love all over this country.

Shuffle

Sunday morning I woke up early and rearranged all the furniture in my bedroom. My bed which was pointed to the West is now pointed North. I moved my circle chair up to the attic because it was just taking up space, and that was what I was craving.

Space.

Please, oh please can't I find some more space somewhere.

I never really understood why people cut themselves. I've heard people do it to feel like they are in control of something. Correct me if I'm wrong, but they feel like things in their lives are so out of control, but cutting makes them feel like they have a handle on things.

I think this is same reason why some people become anorexic.

And why my roommate has fanatical drive to go to the gym.

And why I move my furniture around.

Religious Confusion

So yesterday I was sitting in a school meeting and my friend was talking about Passover. This other girl, eavesdropping, piped up and said, "Oh, is that still going? I thought it was on Sunday."
I just looked at her for a minute confused.

Then I said, "Passover and Easter are different holidays."

Laughing she said, "oh, right."

I, trying to not be condescending, but I'm sure failing miserably said back, "you realize that Passover is a Jewish holiday and Easter is a Christian."

Puzzled she said, "then what is Lent?"

My brains almost exploding, I retorted, "that's Catholic."

Are there people out there in the general public who don't know these basics of other religions? Do you think she is the norm for the American public? I sure hope not.

Taking minutes to breathe

I've never been really good at relaxing. My whole life has felt like I'm being driven, driven, driven to suceed; and not necessarily suceed by my own definition. Recently I've felt like I'm being driven but as I turn to glance behind me to see who is pushing so hard, I'm surprised to see no one there.

Once again I am thrown back onto the never ending mobius strip of self evaluation. Rethinking my choices, beliefs, and self image always seems to engross most of my spare minutes.

I pause from my self-imposed driving long enough to look around. I pick up my eyes and make sure that the goal I'm driving towards holds more for me than just more driving. I remember that I'm not here just for the driving, but for the goal.

The goal.

The thing that makes the driving not a grueling pointless effort, but rather a refining processes. A way to strengthen my muscels and resolve. A method to shape and mold me into a greater person than a life without the driving could produce.

And for that I tuck my head back down, pick up the plow and move on. But this time, with direction.

I love the Spring

School lasts one month too long in Colorado.

How do they expect me to spend any time in front of a computer while it is 75, blue skies and beautiful outside?

If I could have put yesterday on pause for the rest of my life I think I'd have had the perfect life. It was sunny, beautiful and I was surrounded by people that I think are great. I made the most delicious pork chops I've ever had (in or out of a restaurant).

I almost crammed my frisbee into my purse today so that if there was any down time and I could find someone to throw with I'd have a chance. Regrettably I took it out before I left the house because I don't need any temptation to deter me from the stuff I need to get done.

Being responsible sucks, and it sucks even more for me because I have this lame, driven, ambitious personality that won't allow me to blow anything off.

Sad, I know.

About to go psycho

Person in the next cube from me has let their cell phone battery die and it is now beeping every 3 seconds.

I am about to go postal.

The only thing holding me back from ripping down the beige colored, padded half wall is the thought that two weeks ago I left my phone on at work while I was at school. It was probably just as annoying to have my phone ring all day without anyone to answer it.

Good thing I'm leaving in half an hour or my patience might wear thin. Who knows what might happen then.

Faith

The ear doctor has been telling me for almost a year that something exists that I just couldn't believe. I'd never seen it, so my sense of logic just wouldn't let me believe that it indeed was real. I asked everyone around me and none of them had seen or felt it either. Nowhere could I get a tangible, logical, real piece of evidence as to its existence besides the ear doctor's testimony as to the truthfulness of it.

But, I was wrong.

It does exist.

Yes, I was unable to prove that these delicious little treats existed until this week when the ear doctor found some for me in Arizona. The sweetness of this knowledge is beyond compare and is so precious to my heart now that it motivates me to want to share it's goodness with all those around me.

Bless you hostess and long live the CHOCODILE!

For Poodle

Because I hardly EVER get tagged for these things and it boosts my ego to think that someone actually wants to know this stuff.


Five Movies You Can Watch Over and Over:
1. 10 Things I Hate About You
2. Beaches (because it reminds me simultaneously of Kath and my mom)
3. Anne of Green Gables (my sick day movie)
4. Wedding Singer
5. White Christmas

Five embarrassing Songs that You Know All the Words To:

First of all, I'm really good at remembering lyrics so if I've heard an embarrassing song I probably know all the words.

1. "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine
2. "Hit my Baby One More Time" by Madame Spears
3. "Jesus Take the Wheel" by that American Idol chick
4. "Lady in Red" by Seal? (Thanks a lot stake dances)
5. "Mambo Number 5"

Five Memorable Halloween Costumes:
1. Child-like Empress from Never-ending story
2. Cleopatra
3. God's Gift to Men
4. My sister as a zombie
5. The ear doctor as a lawn gnome

Five Occupations that You Know You Could Never Do:
1. Day Care Provider. 20 screaming 4 year olds is my version of personal hell.
2. CEO. I don't like having to fake like I am interested in hearing what other people say.
3. Travel Agent. It would kill me to think of all these awesome vacations for other people to take.
4. McDonalds crew member. I would be constantly in a power struggle with the crew chief. It would just be too hard to take orders from someone when I know the best way to make the chicken nuggets.
5. I can't think of anything else.

Five Books You've Recently Read Outside of Schoolwork:
1. The Unbearable Lightness of Being
2. The Secret Life of Bees
3. 700 Sundays
4. Son of a Witch
5. Chronicles of Narnia

Five Ways to Perfectly Spend an Afternoon:
1. Going to a Movie
2. Getting an early dinner with the ear doctor
3. Walking around the Mall making jokes with a friend
4. Having a snow ball fight
5. Going swing dancing

Not Your 5 Favorite Foods, But the 5 You're Most Likely Eating:
1. French Onion Soup from Mimi's
2. English muffin with ridiculous amounts of delicious melted butter
3. Diet Pepsi and a bag of pretzels
4. The ear doctor's famous potatoes
5. Pear Spinach Salad

Five People Who Must Immediately Respond:
1. The Takahashis, because Eleanor freakin never posts
2. Mags, because I always like to know what she's thinkin about
3. Anth, because her little baby needs to know this kind of stuff. Remember, it's for posterity, so be honest
4. K, because she's awesome
5. Can't think of anyone else

My trip

How cool is it that my big huge awesome trip is so close that I can look at what the weather will be like on the 5 day forecast!!!!!

I checked it out and it says it will probably rain on the first day we're there, but the second day will be partly sunny!

This week is pretty much a wash for me. I have absolutely no desire to get anything done. All I want to do is hang out with friends and pack for my trip. I think I'll end up taking a mostly empty suitcase and bringing back tons of souvenirs. I'm SUCH a tourist, but I don't care.

So, in case any of you were interested, here is the barebones plan of our trip.

Arrive in London and rent a car to drive up to Carnforth, which is in the Lake District (I think). This will be an adventure since none of us know our way around and we'll be driving on the wrong side of the road.

We will spend 6 days up there touring around checking out the countryside and seeing castles and stuff. One day we are driving up to Scotland.

At the end of our trip we're spending 3 days seeing London. We are going to do all of the stuff that you really should see in London and hopefully go to a show one night.

Then I will fly back home to Colorado and somehow go back to school and work and being productive.

Until then,

Cheerio!

Becoming a Food-ie

Lately I have really started to enjoy food.

I've always liked the eating of it, but the last 6 months have really started to pique my interest in mixing flavors and becoming adept in the kitchen.

This is why I've fallen head over heals in love with a new show on Bravo.

It's called Top Chef.

Its a bunch of people who think they can really cook well in a reality show competing to win money.

The thing that gets me about this show is that when something doesn't come together they make excuses. They sit at the judging table and complain about the time constraint or the freezer not working, or the ice cream melting in transit.

"History will never accept difficulties as an excuse."
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Albert W. Daw Collection

Similarly, as a TA I hear repeatedly from students that the classes are just too hard. They whine to me about how much time and effort they have to put into their assignments.

In response I furrow my brow and say, well, this is engineering. No one said it was going to be easy, but I promise it will be worth it.

I'm so tired of people constantly complaining that things are hard for them when they've put themselves in the situation.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

As a full blooded, red headed Scotts-Irish lass I'd like to wish you all the luckiest of days.

For all of you interested out there I thought I'd put together a little St. Patrick's day trivia test. If you can answer all of the questions correctly you may consider yourself Irish for the day.

1) When was St. Patrick born?
2) What are all of the shapes and colors of the marshmallows in Lucky Charms?
3) Where and when was St. Patrick's Day first celebrated in America?
4) What gift do you get if you kiss the Blarney Stone?
5) How do you find a leprechaun?
6) What happens if you ask a leprechaun for four wishes?

Scared of the Dark

I have a confession to make.

When I got to bed at night and walk across my dark room to my bed an embarrasing thought flits through my head.

It is quick and fleeting, but somehow evokes a slight emotional response.

I momentarliy think that someone/thing is going to reach out from under my bed, grab my ankles and drag me under my bed.

Yes, I am 24 years old and this fear still haunts me from childhood.

I blame Fred Savage.

I'm looking into getting the clapper so that I don't have to walk across my room in the dark.

Slight misrepresentation

A co-worker of mine is reading Under the Banner of Heaven and forwarded me this article. I haven't read the book, so don't really have an opinion about it. My co-worker comes in almost every day to talk about my religion and faith, which is fine becuase we are friends and it isn't in a confrontational manner at all.

From what I gather, the story is about two people (one being Dan Lafferty) who have been ex-communicated from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who ended up killing their sister-in-law and her baby becuase they felt they had a divine revelation from God to do so.

Crazy, I know.

I'm fine with people writing whatever they want to about my religion.

I'm really ok when people really study it and come to their own decision about its tenets, even if those ideas are completely opposite of my own.

What kind of annoys me is when people make stupid comments about people and faith like this:


"I don't believe Dan Lafferty is crazy or a psychopath," Krakauer said. "He is an example of an inevitable outcome of strong belief."


How can an educated person really only look at this one example of ardent faith/belief and use that to stereotype people who have strong beliefs.

If he is going to do that, I'd feel like it would be alright to counter with an example myself.

Ever heard of a little lady called Mother Teresa?

I'm pretty sure you could say she was a person with "strong belief" who somehow managed to avoid the "inevitable" outcome of killing a member of her family.

Jeez, some people.

Prof. Ear Doctor

Hey, if anyone has a free second to think about the ear doctor and wish him good luck today at 11 am Mountain Time, please do it.

He's teaching his first collegiate level lecture today and he's going to rock those undergrads world's!

Katie related Tid-bits

• Yesterday it snowed a ton here in Colorado. Foolishly, I wore my very long, worn out jeans and my new green tennis shoes. After one walk across campus my pants were soaked to the knee and my feet were freezing.
• When the ear doctor took me to dinner I didn't want to be wet and cold so I threw my stuff in his dryer and wore his huge sweatpants, boy-socks, and hiking shoes. It looked ridiculous.
• After dinner I went out with my school friends. We saw a pretty decent band play and had some laughs. It was the first time I'd hung out with these boys outside of school. It was awesome.
• I went to bed last night looking up at the constellations of glow-in-the-dark stars that someone probably stuck to my ceiling 10 years ago. It reminded me of my room from high school and I happily fell asleep missing my family.

What a pain

Just thought you all should know that the weather here in Colorado was so nice this weekend that I actually got a pretty decent sunburn.

That dermal pain should then be added to my aching back from playing intense ultimate frisbee with a bunch of boys.

And my throbbing finger from the blood blister developed from pinching it in my sliding glass door.

Despite my mighty injuries, I had an EXCELLENT weekend.

Thanks for asking.

Donald Trump is cringing

This morning as I was getting ready I was listening to the radio. An advertisement came on the air for the local Indian casino.

Their schtick was pretty much the same loud talking-music booming announcer promising a good time as every other casino commercial. Except for one small thing.

If you come into the casino Tuesday nights they'll give you a free porcelain doll.

What??

Are curly blonde headed dolls really enticements for the players of blackjack?

Maybe the casino should hire someone besides 9 year old little girls to run their marketing department.

The little things

The ear doctor just called me is "boo" via text message.

It made me laugh out loud.

This is how I know we are great together.