Attack of the Killer Clowns

So I know Boulder is this ultra-healthy town where everybody runs and plays Frisbee and frolics in the grass with their golden retriever.

Yoga and palates are huge here.

Everyone is always looking for the next best exercise they can do to keep their bodies looking and feeling great.

And usually I'm like, "Whatever makes them feel good...go for it. Just don't run me over in your Subaru Outback trying to get there."

This morning on my way into work I saw something that I've decided is over the line. I just can't jump on the bandwagon of thinking that is a good thing to do.

This guy was riding a UNICYCLE on the bike paths around town.

A UNICYCLE!?!?! Since when has it been cool to be seen on one of those things outside the circus? This guy was wearing serious biking clothes (tight lycra shorts, padded bum, neon green windbreaker) and huffing and puffing on his UNICYCLE.

Maybe I draw my apprehension to this activity from my past experiences with the riders of the UNICYCLE.

In my undergrad there was a group of really weird kids that all banded together and made a club called "the Sword and Quill." Once a semester the S&Qers would set up a medieval tent in the middle of campus, dress up like Lords and Ladies, RIDE UNICYCLES WHILE JUGGLING, and recite Shakespeare. Bizarre.

Now, I'm not saying that people shouldn't do that if that's what they're into. I think it's cool to have hobbies that are a bit away from the mainstream....heck, I'm a fiddler!

My aversion to the UNICYCLE came during one of such impromptu renaissance Festivals. I was trying to get into the bookstore to get a bluebook for a test. It was urgent, and the tents were blocking my way. I pushed through the tents in my critical quest for a bluebook. Well, I guess that was unacceptable because some kid started CHASING ME ON A UNICYCLE. When he caught up with me he yelled at me for disrupting the authenticity of the scene.

Anway, now I'm jaded about UNICYCLES and all people who chose to ride them. (other than, of course, the occasional circus act. I love the circus)

My faith in humanity has been restored

Lately I've been growing a bit jaded about my fellow inhabitants of this earth. There seemed to be a vast perponderance of people whose base interests seem to be the driving force behind their actions. All of the looting and rioting and people sitting in garbage in Louisianna and Houston...all of the politicians just letting that happen. It all just seems to really be getting to me.

Yesterday the ear doctor and I went to my favorite little sandwhich shop for lunch. We were sitting on the cement benches eating outside in the sun. We were almost done with our lunch when two guys came and sat at the table next to ours. About a minute later the girl who was working the sandwich counter came out and told one of the men that he had dropped a $20 into the tip jar. He looked surprised and followed her back into the shop.

Moments later he came out and was commenting to his buddy about how impressive it was that she was so honest. She was right that he hadn't meant to give that big of a tip.

The thing that impressed me was that she didn't have to do it. She could have sat back quietly and doubled her hourly wage for the day, but she didn't.

And that is why I am back to my postion of thinking that, for the majority, people are good and honest and aren't out to cheat you out of a buck.

Perfect Colorado Weekend

Last week NPR said that last weekend was going to be best Coloradan weekend to see the fall colors...and they were right.

My pal Sarah, her husband, the ear doctor, two of our other friends and I went up to Guanella Pass above Georgetown, CO to go camping for the weekend.

As we drove away from Boulder and up into the mountains I was overwhelmed by how beautiful everything was. The yellow aspen leaves seemed to be glowing in the bright mid-day sun. Set against the deep green of the pine trees they seemed almost electrified. The aspens grow in veins down the mountain and make it seem like huge deposits of gold embedded in the sides of the majestic Rockies.

We got up to our campsite and much to our chagrin, the gates were locked. It turns out that the campground we were planning on using was closed up for the season. CRAPPY! We hemmed and hawed trying to decide if we were going to be rebels and laugh in the face of park rangers, or if we were going to submit to their unreasonable demands.

While we were waiting a very nice older couple drove up next to us. We asked them if they thought we'd be in trouble if we stayed in a locked up campground and the wife said, "Well, we're the Beckers. We do what we want and we say you can go ahead and camp there."

So, under the authority of the Becker's we decided to stay put.

The only problem was that we'd planned on car camping....which means we brought pretty much everything, including the kitchen sink. This was a problem because we now had to leave our cars outside of the gates and haul everything down the road to the campsite.

After about 3 trips each we finally had our camp set up.

We made dinners (the best tin foil dinner I've ever had) and made smores. We laughed and had the best time imaginable. As it turned colder we all decided it was time to get into our tents to the warmth of our sleeping bags.

In the morning we took a short hike up to Silver Dollar lake. As usually, Sarah took off with all the power of a steam engine, effortlessly steaming up the side of the mountain. I, on the other hand, rather enjoy a leisurely walk. I doggedly chugged my way up and made it to the lake in time. The view was breathtaking. There was actually still a bit of snow packed up above the lake from last year.

On the way home I slept as sound as I ever have. I woke up about 15 minutes outside of Boulder and looked at my friends. I realized I am one of the luckiest people because of the great people I know and love.

I'm jealous of a TV show

Last night I was watching Laguna Beach (she says very guiltily, and somewhat embarrassed) and they were taking their spring break trip to Cabo. The beaches they frolicked on and the resort they stayed at made me really really jealous. I need a fun trip badly.

Plus, there's the fact that my pal is touring France right now.

I was starting to get bummed until I heard last night that my brother had booked his plane tickets for our spring break trip to London in March and now I am SOOOOOO excited.

All the time that I should be spending working on my Matlab program has been channeled into the much more enjoyable task of trying to find some kickin internet deals on flights and hotels.

Thank you internet for providing me with yet another device to enable my procrastination.

A little off Kilter

Tuesday night the ear doctor and I went down to Denver to go swing dancing. Just in case none of you knew it, my boyfriend is one of the best swing dancers around. In his undergrad he was on the college swing team and went around doing shows and all that kind of stuff. Very hardcore.

Anyway, since we started dating he has patiently taught me how to do it and now, almost a year later, I'm getting decent.

Back to my story. Tuesday we show up and the dance floor is pretty sparse, which is good in swing. Less people to bump into. Less people bumping into you.

I was wearing some new pants that were very cute; dark with pinstripes making me feel quasi-20's-era-gangster. We're dancing the night away and things are really clicking. I've stopped worrying about how I look and I'm just dancing for the fun of it.

The ear doctor takes a step back and spins me around fast. I prep for the turn, but a split second later I find myself face down on the floor in push-up position.

Yep, that's me. My cute pants were my demise. Somehow a corner of fabric found itself caught under my shoe and sent me hurtling off kilter down to the floor.

The funny thing was that I really wasn't embarrassed at all. I couldn't care less because I landed somewhat gracefully. Nothing but my feet and hands touched the ground. I was so impressed with my cat-like reflexes and ability to fall without totally injuring myself that I considered it a credit to my skillz.

Weird, huh?

Sweet Revenge

It's official. I have evened the score with mi enamigo.

After class I glanced over at him as he was packing his bag and saw (much to my chagrin) the blue pen, splintered, broken and defiled. Fury built up in my soul and I just couldn't take it. As we filed out of the room I slid into line behind him and noticed that HIS TAG WAS POKING OUT THE BACK OF HIS SHIRT.

Normally I do the right thing, and tell the person whose tag is out about their fashion malady. But not today. Today I broke the socially acceptable course of action and let him keep walking on.

Take that mi enamigo! I bet he walked around campus all day looking like a FOOL!

(insert crazy maniacal laugh here)

Moving a step behind

So I don't know what it is lately, but I feel like the rest of the world is advancing a fraction of a second ahead of me. I seem to be late to everything I do, regardless of my good intentions to be early. The following is a list of examples of the acceleration of the world, and my inability to keep up:

1. Missed my flight to Seattle on Saturday morning. I've never missed a flight before. Ever. It was bizarre to be there standing at the big window looking out at the plane I was supposed to be on pull away from the jet way and take off without me.

2. Forgot to do my Spanish homework. Usually I am a homework fanatic. Usually I have all my homework done at least a day in advance. For some reason time decided to rush ahead without notifying me and I found myself at class on Tuesday morning completely empty handed.

3. Tuesday night all I could do was sit and watch TV. I was unable to get off my bum an do anything due to the fact that my normal amount of energy looks like total lethargy when set in the reference frame of this new dizzying paced environment.

4. Yesterday I realized that I had to get all of the homework and quizzes graded for the class I TA and I didn't have a solutions key made yet. For some reason, unknown to me, the huge gap of time I thought I had to create a key had fallen in on itself and I am left to scramble to get the grades entered.

5. My hair has grown wildly out of control and I didn't notice until my friend Amy (who cuts my hair) asked if I wanted an appointment. I didn’t even notice anything.

6. Despite my best efforts, I have been late to 3 of 4 lectures this week.

So there you see. Proof that the rest of the world is spinning faster than normally and for some reason I missed the accelerator bus.

Sincere Apology

So I have been the kind of blogger lately that I hate. The kind of person that I wish would write more, but doesn't. The kind of person that I leave on my sidebar because I truly want to see what is going on with them, and think that if for some reason I keep them on the sidebar they will feel inspired and impelled to write something.

Sorry.

This whole back to school thing is crazy and I feel like I hardly ever have any time to just sit and think about something non-school or work related. Last night I had to spend the entire evening laying in bed watching Real World just to detox from the overload.

The crazy thing is that I love my life right now. It's overwhelming and hard and pushes me to exhaustion, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel like I am learning so much so quickly. Everyday is filled with something and someone new. I am so happy with the choice I've made!

Mi Enamigo

Last week was the first week of classes. I was bright eyed, excited and optimistic. I looked at all the other students around me, and through my rosed color glasses, I saw an army of my peers, engaged in a righteous battle against ignorance. I elevated them, along with myself, to defenders of truth, seekers of knowledge, pure and altruistic beings.

Then, on thursday my idealistic view of them was shattered into a million tiny, sharp little pieces that have since struck my heart and left it aching, filled with rancor.

In my Spanish class there is one particular student. On the aforementioned day the sun went down on my hopes and dreams (Thursday) I noticed that he wasn't taking any notes. About 20 minutes into the lecture, he reluctantly opened up his slim looking backpack and pulled out a yellow legal pad with the intention of taking notes. For a minute he looked around in the small pouch on the front of his bag, but finding no writing utensil he slumped back in his chair. About 5 minutes later he leaned over to me and asked to borrow a pen.

As the gracious fellow student that I am, and with my newfound hope in humanity I reached down, withdrew a brand new pen from my bag and handed it over.

I sat there for the next 10 minutes smiliing internally at my little act of service.

Then, I glanced back over at the recipient of my good will, and what do I see, but his gnarly little incisors gnawing on the end of my pen.

Immediatley I was totally repulsed, and enthralled. For the last 10 minutes of class I spent my time wondering what this kid would do.

Would he suddenly realize that he was chewing on my pen and look embarrased? Would he offer it back to me after he'd demolished it with his sharp, and poorly brushed canines?

As the clock ticked on I became engrossed by the situation.

Finally, the lecture ended. He tossed his offensively yellow pad of paper into his backpack and stormed out of class.

For a second I sat dumbfounded in my chair.

I honestly couldn't believe that anyone would do that. He didn't even make a comment about the pen. I guess he thought that "borrow" meant the same thing as "keep and desicrate."

So now he has been dubbed my "enamigo" and will remain thus appelled until such time that the pen incident has been resolved.

Elation

As I switched on my right turn signal to turn onto my street last night I should have been able to sense the dark cloud of gloom emanating from my house two blocks away. It had been a long, hard day at school, but that still didn't explain my lack of normal perceptive ability.

I parked my car, climbed up the steps to my house and opened my door.

The scene of my front room was jarring.

I stopped and waited a second to put the pieces together. Scattered all over our worn, fading hardwood floor were several manuals. The pages were bent and crumpled. The entertainment center was pulled back away from the wall ruthlessly exposing the long black cords. TV, stereo, DVD player and the mystery remote were lying lifeless on the ground, their battery covers yanked off and gutted; the life giving cells stripped from their plastic beds. My roommate was sitting in the midst of this disarray, wide eyed and frantic. She had the look of a cornered animal looking up at her attacker, full knowledge of what is about to ensue.

I came to this scene and after the moment it took to digest what was going on I called out, "FURY (my roommate) what is going on?"

In a low and confused tone she said, "It's the TV, it won't turn on"

My heart rose up in my throat and I mentally counted to 10 before I spoke again.

"Do you know what's going on?"

She started to explain, "well, I the people from Comcast sent a new box today for our upgrade to DVR. When I got the box I called Comcast to tell them to cancel the old one. I hooked up the wires, and now, nothing."

Oh sweet glory.....they had taken away our cable.

My world started spinning.

What was I going to do?

How was I going to make up my mind about what I like to do?

I will be totally out of the loop with the lives of my best friends: Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, and the Pitt/Aniston break-up.

I set my mind to work. I decided I would not be a victim of comcast. I would take things into my own hands.

I looked at the wires and saw that they had all be connected correctly.

I un attached and reattached things.

I routed it through the DVD player.

I rounded it through the box.

I tired connecting it straight to the TV.

I was becoming frustrated.

The light was leaving my eyes and sweat beads were rolling down my forehead.

Suddenly, I thought of something.

With my last, halting breath I called to my roommate, "FURY, press the 'input' button."

She raised her weary and sunken hand and with her last ounce of strength pushed the little red button in the upper right hand corner of the remote.

The joy and ecstasy I experienced in the next minute defies all explanation.

Suddenly the TV burst to life. The strident constant mock of static had been replaced by the sonorous tones of MSNBC.

Like the winner of a marathon race, the victory invigorated our bodies. Adrenaline pumped through our systems as we started a full out ceremonial dance thanking the cable gods. We rompted and jumped and yipped and shouted with every thankful cell in our bodies. Light shone down from above and we felt a moment of divine transcendence as we realized that not only could we watch TV now, but we possessed the power to rewind, copy, and program our viewing. The power, the control, the total euphoria of never having to miss another episode of Gilmore Girls again.......

So not one person in any of my classes yesterday was friendly. I don't know what the deal was. I sat there surrounded by people who are going through the exact same experience as I was and no one every cracked a smile in my direction. I just sat there thinking, "what is with you people?"

I even went so far as to try to strike up a conversation with one of the classmates next to me, but he pretty much just gave me a one word response and turned around to fish some strange writing device out of his bag.

It was really disheartening.

On the other hand, my fabulous new roommate made her famous meat sauce and pasta and the boys from next door came over. We had a great dinner filled with laughs and stories. After that, the ear doctor and I went swing dancing down in Denver, and I actually didn't feel like I was doing all that badly.

Tonight we're going to the Jack Johnson concert.

The one at red rocks that sold out in about 20 minutes.

I'm really EXCITED!

I'm pissed

So I just met with the professor that I'm going to TA for and not only did he make me feel like a raging moron for not remembering how to compute a curl of a function, but he also informed me that he expected me to re arrange my entire schedule for his class. WHAT A PAIN! Now I am taking classes that I really wish I wasn't.

I sat in his office with the other TA and stared blankly at his whiteboard while he expected me to just recall off the top of my head material that I haven't studied in almost 5 years. Sometimes I'm floored by professors. They expect you to understand and remember the same amount of information that they know. Never mind that they've been teaching this material for the past 20 years and this is their lives work.

On the plus side, this class is probably going to be really challenging and interesting so I'm kind of excited to learn about it. It's pretty much 4 credit hours of free class. Not just free, but I'm being paid to become and expert on the material. So, I guess when I look at it that way, I'm pretty excited about it. Plus, now I have a goal of impressing him with my ability to learn. Bonus.

Bragging rights

Usually I try to not make every post about how awesome my boyfriend is, but today I'm just going to have to break down and let you all know.

Because,

well,

he is.

And he did something last night that totally warranted some unabashed praise.

He went above and beyond the call of duty.

He blew me away.

Last night after a grueling day of TA orientation I had volunteered to make the missionaries of my church dinner. They don't have much money and can't really cook at all, so sometimes I offer and they gladly accept.

Anyway, last night I tried a new recipe from my new Healthy Kitchen cookbook. The entree (eggplant rollatinni) was very involved and I was rushed so I couldn't do my normal do-the-dishes-as-you-cook routine.

The result, as I'm sure you could imagine was that there were dishes everywhere in my kitchen. The meal was great, and well received, but I had to be somewhere at 8 so I scooted everyone out of my house, leaving the kitchen looking like ground zero.

After I came back from my appointment I rounded the corner into the kitchen fully prepared to do dishes for the next hour.

I was overcome with the beauty of the sight upon which my eyes fell.

The kitchen was immaculate. It was sparkling and clean. Every dish had been washed and put away. The leftovers had been carefully wrapped and put in the fridge. It was so amazing.

I called the ear doctor and he admitted do the great deed of good works. After I'd left he had circled back around to my house and spent an hour cleaning up the mess I'd made.

And that, my friends, is why my boyfriend rules.

Being a TA is going to be hard

Holy Cow. I've just been to my first day of Grad Student training and I've decided that this was a bigger decision than I thought it was. As I sit here in a busy, impersonal, chaotic student computer lab I am silently missing my sweet, quiet office. I miss being surrounded by people who know me, think I'm really smart, and love my sense of humor. I tried making a few jokes with people here and they totally fell flat. This may take a little adjusting to get used to.

I had to give a 5 minute lesson on something. It was video-taped and played back for me, and the rest of the classroom to watch. Nothing is quite as humbling as seeing yourself teach on a TV screen. Plus it was some serious persuasion to get my fat butt back into the gym.

On the more positive side, while waiting in the hour long line to get myself a new student ID card I met 4 new people who were really cool. That's one of the coolest parts of being a student. Every single day you have the chance to meet brand new people and learn awesome things from them. It's always a fun, dynamic environment that is constantly refreshing itself. Making friends is SO easy.

Last thing to report is that my beautiful best friend in the whole world had her first baby last night. Olivia Jane is the new baby's name and I think that is SO cute. I wish I could be in Washington hanging out with my new little niece, but alas, it can't be. Olivia's little head was 15" in circumference, which is HUGE, so I know she's going to be a genius.

My country 'tis of thee

Have you ever been in a group of people and you say something you think is totally normal, but when you look around the table you realize that what you though was normal is actually very very abnormal?

I think that's how my friend Derek felt at lunch today.

We were talking about how some people don't know what shooting stars really are and how we thought that was kind of strange. Then, I said I knew someone who didn't know there was a Washington State. Then, Derek said, (and I'm not joking here) "well, I don't know what the DC stands for."

I paused for a minute not really comprehending. Then, it dawned on me that the "DC" he was talking about was the "DC" in "Washington DC." Like the capitol of America. I was floored. I half laughingly informed him that it meant District of Columbia. Everyone in hearing distance looked at him in shock.

He then tried to prove that hardly anyone knew what DC meant by asking everyone else at the restaurant. After 100% of the people polled knew the answer he started feeling a little sheepish.

I was blown away.

We've been back from lunch for an hour now and he just came to ask my friend in the next office over all about how DC is run if it isn't technically a state.

Didn't everyone learn this in like, 7th grade?

Announcing Greatness

Good news everyone. My best friend in Colorado has graduated from school and taken a full time job as a chemist in Golden Colorado. This new stage of her life is very new and exciting, and, well, kind of boring. Like everyone else, she left her very successful undergraduate career bright eyed and ready to take on the world. She went to her first day of work and realized, with a sinking feeling, that corporate America is by and large very boring and filled with hours of unusable time.

The silver lining in this dark and gloomy cloud of disappointment is that SHE HAS STARTED A BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hooray for:

G is for Genius

Utter Failure

Yesterday morning I went through my expenses for the millionth time in my head. It seems like every other train of thought inevitable ends up in the depot of my personal finances.

I made a resolute decision that I would do no more shopping for the month of August. Things were getting out of hand and I need to reign things in a bit.

I even wrote across the top of my mirror "NO shopping!" to remind myself of my decision.

Well.

Um.

You guessed it.

I broke that goal.

I couldn't even make it through 24 hours without caving.

Although, I think this expense was justified.

Now I fully look the part of sophisticated grad student.

And since I had to wait an hour while they put my new prescription lenses into those babies, I had to pass the time.

At the Gap.

With a new pair of jeans.

I'm bad, I know.

Traitor and a hypocrite

After writing this post declaring my undying love, I've made a change. I've thrown in the towel on my old love. I've given up the fight. I've found something newer, sleeker, sexier that gives me a thrill just to look at it.

I know, I know. Having a relationship that is deep and committed means that you work through the tough times. I know I'll never learn to commit to anything unless I realize that I need to be happy with what I have. Learn to love the imperfections. Embrace the slightly worn patches because nothing is perfect in the long run.

But,

I'm human.

I like change and the excitement that it brings.

I had to give my old guy the boot and upgrade to a new model.

Feast your eyes upon my new amour

Isn't he hot.

Don't you agree that it was about time I cut my ties to a relationship that was just holding me back?

Yeah, I thought so too.

My Favorite Posts

Ways to become the most popular person in the office

Question of the Day

My writing triumph

Broken Heart

In response

A total disappointment

That's just how much I love my friends

Kraft

Maggie's Theory

Free stuff=my dream come true

The world makes sense again

Good news everyone.

This reign of terror has come to an end.

This morning the straw inventory was restocked with clean, gleaming white, perfect in every way specimens.

I'm sure you're all relieved to know.