Why most women like Sex & the City

(Don't jump all over me and think I'm a bad, bad sinner for this post until you read it through.)

Sure, they're scandalous. And talk about and do things that 30 years ago would have completely ostracize them from any decent society. But, there is something magnetic about the show. I can only really speak for myself, but I can't be the only one out there that feels this way.

It isn't the scandal that we're drawn to. I'm sure most people could go their entire life without ever seeing some of the crap on that show.

The thing that is so electric and intensely satisfying for women is the relationships between the 4 women. Seeing how they each have individual relationships with each other, while still maintaining a top level friendship is very easy for the viewer to relate to.

There is just something about seeing 4 girlfriends interact that is so appealing.

It is even the draw for the movie out right now called The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Last night Sarah, Amy, Ja and I went out. It was Sarah's last night as a single girl and we went to eat a very late dessert. We talked and laughed and for a moment I stopped, took in the moment, realized I would never forget where I was and who I was with. It was a movie setting and it made me realize how lucky I am to be one of those girls. And so, in honor of my 3 girlfriends, I've decided to do a character sketch of the 4 of us.

Sarah is the ballsy, gutsy, strong willed, always pushing one. She is the person who works out with a vengeance, who studies with a vengeance, who loves with a vengeance. She is strong and goofy and beautiful. Sarah is the most reliable person you'll ever meet. If she says she'll be somewhere or do something, she is there. On time. With bells on. She'll tell you how it is even if maybe you weren't really wanting to hear it.

Amy is crazy! Last fall she dated her husband for a month, was engaged for 3 weeks and was married. She is so much fun it is really hard to believe she is for real. She is always up for the next adventure and ready to take on whatever. She has had so many interesting experiences in her life that have formed her into the person she is. She can't tell a joke without messing it up, never remembers directions, and is one heck of a longboarder. She is so funny and loud and makes me laugh until I think I might wet my pants.

Ja is quiet....when you first meet her. She is so laid back it is almost unnerving. She is always good natured and I don't think I've ever seen her without a smile on her face. She can tell a great story that puts you right in the action. She is loyal and honest and always agreeable. She makes the best chocolate chip cookies this side of the Mississippi. She has a great sense of style and always looks like a fashion plate.

And then there is me. I'm the planner. I put things together and make sure everyone gets there on time. I'm the conservative, straight laced, inexperienced one. I'm loyal to a fault. I'm not ever the person who gets a crazy idea into their head that starts an adventure, and I'm the only one whose never hiked a 14er. I'm the friend that always tells the others to buy that pair of jeans that you maybe can't afford, but looks so amazing on you that you'd really be a fool not to get them.

And that's us. The 4 of us.

Wedding Bells

Right now Sarah, my best friend here in Colorado, is having her hair done for her wedding. She and Colin are getting married in a very small, private ceremony at 12:30 today. I am so proud of the people they are and who they will become. I feel honored to be their friend.

Tonight they are throwing a huge BBQ open house at her parents house, which I will attending in my freshly pressed white linen pants (hooray)!

Tomorrow they are having a big ring ceremony for all of their extended family and friends to share in and then a lunch reception. So classy, so their style.

The power of words

I've made a startling realization. I'm kind of surprised by how long it has taken me to learn this. I always knew that writing and words were influential, but I never knew that MY words could do so much.

I love reading because it takes me to places I've never been. Not only remote locations on the globe, but distant ideas and concepts I've never considered before. My favorite authors are those who made me think...who challenged my generally accepted assumptions. The ones who not only made me laugh, cry, and feel ill, but also scare me by making me stop and re-evaluate things. Introspection inducers.

I figured they had the ability to elicit those responses because they were Writers. Writers with a capital W. People who were talented enough to have someone pay them to Write.

I was shocked to realize that even though I am not a Writer, I still have the ability to move people. Granted, my most recent brushes with this phenomenon have been less that desirable, they have a least shown me that even this lowly engineer has the ability to inspire, motivate, impel, evoke, stir, encourage, enthuse, arouse and induce genuine emotion in my readers.

Pretty heavy responsibility, no?

Internal gangrene

This morning I was thinking about my friend.

We'll call him Coop for anonymity.

Coop is awesome. Lately I've been kind of ignoring him and while I was blowing my hair dry, a thought crossed my mind. I wonder if Coop is annoyed/mad at me for not calling or speaking to him in probably 2 months?

Immediately I put that thought out of my head because Coop is the kind of person who never gets hurt. He can let anything go. In the past 4 years I've known him I don't think I've ever seen him let someone else's carelessness or thoughtlessness get to him. The result is that he is always happy, low key, and SO much fun to be around.

It got me thinking.....

Why are some people just able to let everything go and other let things fester?

The polar opposite to Coop would be me, during college. I made a friend there who had a profound effect on me which still lingers this day.

When I first met her I found her was hilarious. She had a sarcastic side that just cracked me up.

Over the three years that I knew her there were a few times where she was scathingly mad at me. Even after I apologized profusely, and she said it was ok, it just wasn't. I was unable to sincerely ask for forgiveness. Because she felt the insincerity in my request, it was hard for her to acquiesce. There would always be a lingering coldness between us.

As a result of this tension that I created, I was not a very happy person. I felt like all of my friends were mean, selfish, and cruel. I was ready to launch into a full fledged fight with someone over nothing because I wasn't over the harsh feelings I had from the last argument. Everything built on the past misunderstandings. The festering grew exponentially because I never gave it a chance to air out. When I graduated I realized that it really wasn't the fault of everyone else, it was mine.

Over the past 2 years I've made significant effort to move closer to Coop. The result is that I am happier and a way better friend. Now I see that I can never spend my life with someone who is unable to truly forgive and forget my mistakes. I will undoubtedly mess up. I'm not perfect and it is inevitable.


PS I am truly sorry to anyone whose feelings I hurt in writing this post. My intention was to demonstrate my personal progress and goals, not defame anyone on the internet. Just as I see the growth in myself, I realize that others grow and change. I am happy to recognize that change in anyone.

Party Throwing Pro

Just so you all know, I have a strange and un-natural fear of throwing parties. I feel like I am SO bad at it. I get really worked up planning and getting the food perfect that I am just frazzled. Then, when everyone shows up I am so tense and worried that not everyone will have a good time. I flit around the room trying to get everyone there into an interesting conversion.

I always take things personally. If people don't show up to my party I think it is because they think I'm lame. Oh how I wish I could just realize that they probably just had something else to do.

Anyway, I am happy to announce that I threw to AWESOME parties this weekend! Hooray for me!

The first was Saturday morning. I threw Sarah's bridal shower and it was so much fun. Everyone had a blast, my decorations were ooh-ed and ahhh-ed over. The food was perfect. And even though the weather was crappy, everyone still had a great time.

The second was a dinner party last night. I invited 16 people and 14 showed up, so that was great. It was really fun because it was a bunch of people who didn't really know each other or hang out and they all got along really well and made plans to hang out together sans moi. Pretty perfect if you ask me.

After dinner everyone just kind of sat around and talked. Somehow all the guys migrated to the TV and watched Simpsons and all the girls migrated to the front room and we chatted about all kinds of stuff. I had to laugh at the situation and how totally stereotypical the whole thing was.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is my one year blog anniversary! Hooray!

Self-diagnosing

Something weird happened to my personality while I wasn't watching. It just sneaked up on me and caught me totally unawares. I

think I may have become a hypochondriac without even knowing it.

Let me prove it to you.

About 2 weeks ago I had a strange, roundish, red mark on the inside of my left bicep. It wasn't black or blue, purple or green so it didn't match the rest of the bruises covering my body from falling into the hole (a whole different story). My immediate response was to go to WebMD and look at skin cancer. I actually thought I had a little melanoma growing on my arm that had appeared over night.

The second evidence of my new attribute comes to me today.

Yesterday afternoon my throat started hurting. Pretty badly. Last night I felt hot and achy all over. The ear doctor brought me pudding and popsicles and watched Gilmore Girls with me (even though he thinks it is lame). This morning I woke up and it still hurt. As soon as I got into work I hit up WebMD and I've decided that I either have early stages of Strep throat or tonsillitis. I even took my little LED flashlight into the bathroom to look down my throat for white spots on my tonsils.

It wasn't cancer, and this is probably nothing, but I'll keep you posted.

Why, for the love of everything that is holy, why?

Why must every generation have a style that just sucks?

• Bell Bottoms
• Crimped Hair
• Acid washed, peg-legged jeans
• Hammer Pants
• Coulotts
• Sagging jeans
• Pleated Plaid Skirts with thigh highs and Mary Janes

You'd think we had experienced enough to not fall back into the horrible trap. Alas, we have allowed ourselves to succumb to the age old temptation of bad fashion.

I don't want to offend anyone who has been led astray, but this new wave is just bad. It is horrific.

I can almost hear you saying, "what is she talking about?"

Feast your eyes on the most recent atrocity that plagues this generation of high school year books:

I call this a "boob shirt" because there is just no other way to describe it. Is it a sweater? Is it knit? Is it a t? Who knows?

I just hate this look, and I am even more deeply worried because I pulled this picture off the Banana Republic website. My store. The place I turn to for solace and reassurance that teen-aged immodesty isn't taking over the world has completely let me down on this point.

It is a sad, sad day.

Who has the trumpet for my walls of Jericho?

Why didn't my sister get it?

She is fully able to fall head over heels for someone. She can just let go and dive right into what could potentially be total heartache.

When she told me that she'd found the person she wanted to marry after only having known him for 3 months I thought she was crazy. More than that, I was terrified for her because I felt certain that she would get her heart so broken that she wouldn't be able to cope. In my mind, there was no way that she was going to be able to keep a long distance relationship alive for 8 months with a person she only knew for 3 months. It just seemed ludicrous to me.

But you know what, she was fine. She did it with grace and style and just a few little breakdowns. She made the choice to let him have her heart and it all worked out for her.

I just can't do that.

It's not like I've really been seriously hurt before. I don't have excessive amounts of past relationship baggage weighing me down and dragging me along in the dirt. But, I act like I do.

For some reason I just can't stop protecting my heart from getting hurt.

Since the ear doctor bought his plane ticket to come up to my sister's wedding in July, I've been acting like a psycho. I am hyper-sensitive about everything. I constantly analyze where our relationship is going and it is ruining the great thing that the ear doctor and I have built.

My defenses are up so high it is virtually impossible for him to not trigger one of them.

At least I can realize what is going on right? Isn't admitting you have a problem the first step to overcoming it?

Unexpected Happiness!

So today is payday, so today is the day I pay all my bills online.

I clicked on my Farmer's Insurance monthly online bill and was shocked to see it was $80 less than usual!

Hooray! Confusing!

I called up my agent and he said that they'd just decided to lower my rates for the next 6 months.

Pretty cool, huh!

Especially since during the last 6 months I've earned myself a little speeding ticket. I guess they decided to let that one slide or something.

Coolest Blog Yet

Unlike a lot of people my age, I really like older people.

They fascinate me.

They've lead lives 3 times longer than my own and it just amazes me to hear stories they tell and think about what will transpire in my own life before I get to a similar point.

I could sit for hours listening to my grandpa tell his stories about growing in up in a small mining town in Utah, or the times he spent working at the steel factory.

Listening to my grandma talk about how poor she was when she was little during the depression and war is so intriguing to me.

Well, I found someone who is doing that for me on the internet.

Let me introduce you to Abraham from Brookville, Ohio.

I love his blog(s).

No problems

Flip flops

Loose fitting skirts

A good book

Some great friends

A diet coke with a lime

No work, boss, or appointments

No expenses

Sunny day

Light breeze

Sound of crashing waves

Smell of a grilling meat

Jokes that are just funny

No drama

Skinny day

Favorite songs on repeat

Banana popcicles

Great skin

The sun sinking into the ocean

A pick up game of frisbee

The smell of sun screen

New pedicure

Cell phones off

A guitar around a campfire

Ripe watermelon

Ahhhh, summer

Why I don't call into the radio

This morning on my way into work the local country radio station gave away $10,000 to the 12 person who called in with a birthday on August 4.

The winner sounded like he was about 80 years old. He was retired and lived in the next town over.

The radio personalities (read: most annoying people on the planet) kept talking really fast and loud and the old guy was completely overwhelmed.

Just before they went away to break for a commercial they asked him, "how do you spell country?"

He quickly replied, "K-Y-G-O" (the name of the radio station)

I've heard this kind of thing about a million times. After they give away some fabulous prize they always ask the recipient who gave them the gift. The recipient is then supposed to say their name back to them.

This is the entire reason I don't call in.

I am about 99% sure that if I ever actually won something and they asked me that fatal question at the end of my time on the air I would completely botch the whole thing by either forgetting which station I called entirely, or even worse, say the name of the other station.

This paralyzing fear stops me from calling in. Too bad because I could really use $10,000.

A little Peter Pan Syndrome for the Morning.

What's so wrong with acting like a kid?

Yesterday afternoon the ear doctor called me up and asked me if we had made plans yet for that evening. I said no and asked if he'd come up with a fabulous idea.

He informed me that yes, he had a great idea. He found out that if we were down at the box office in Denver 1 hour before the show we could get 50% off tickets to see Grease.

I was stoked! I love shows!

I got down there and found out that we were meeting up with a schoolmate of the ear doctor's and her boyfriend. That was great by me because I really like her a lot.

The show was great and Frankie Avalon even sang Beauty School Drop-out just like the movie. After the show I was so excited and just happy. I started acting kind of goofy (dancing down the stairs like I was in an old time movie). The ear doctor totally joined in the fun (another reason he is GREAT for me), but the other two just kind of stood there.

From their looks I kind of wondered if they were slightly embarrassed to be with us. Maybe they thought it looked like we were having fun and secretly they wish they could be dancing around with us. They seemed torn between two voices inside themselves. Their heart seemed to be saying, "oh look, friends I can go out and play with" but their head was saying, "I'm in a public place and I am an adult. Adults don't do that." In the end they watched at a distance and smiled at us. They just couldn't break loose from their stiff socially accepted behaviors.

It made me sad for them because there is no way they had as much fun as I was having.

I looked around at all the little girls in poodle skirts jumping and laughing and enjoying life. Then I looked around and compared them to the adults in long black dresses with high heels and ties.

At what point do we trade in childlike innocence and pure unadulterated joy over the simple things for "sophistication" and "refinement."

Why does growing up have mean to let that fire and spirit within die (or at least smolder)?

It just isn't fair.

Why I love my friends

Whoever thought this was a good idea has another think coming.

What you don't see is that I'm sitting right next to him and when the flame got to hot for him to bear, he spit all of those flaming little guys right into my brand new lime green Prana climbing pants.

Luckily, the pants came out unscathed.

Therefore, so did Derek.

Also, I just think this photo is beautiful.

Alan, in all his glory:

Soft Scrub Anyone?

In the last 6 years I've lived with 30 different people and NONE of them have ever made my bathtub this dirty this quickly.

Seriously, last night I came home and was appalled by the filthiness that has overtaken my tub.

I don't know what she can be doing in there that makes it so disgusting, but it looks like she goes out, rolls around in the mud, comes in (without loosing a gram of dirt), and dumps it all into our drain.

Also, we've only been there 2 weeks and the drain is clogging. I hate hate HATE standing in a tub of dirty, soapy water becuase the flow in from the shower is faster than the drain out on the ground.

How is that possible?

I lived with a Tongan girl who had huge curly hair down to her butt and she only clogged up the drain every other month.

It is an enigma.

I'm thinking of calling her Pig Pen like the dirty kid from Charlie Brown.

The Pursuit of Excellence

Sweat rolled down the back of my unprotected neck as I squinted my eyes to focus on the climber 50 feet above me. Shaking with exhaustion, he paused to cool his feet in his own shadow, but it was to no avail. The sun had just reached its apex and beat down mercilessly on his bare and glistening shoulder blades. He reached up to place the last piece of equipment.

He was the third of our group to attempt to lead the trad route we'd chosen for the morning. The other two climbers had much more experiences, but were unable to finish out the route. They'd already placed hundreds of dollars worth of gear, and someone had to get to the top to clean it from the side of the cliff. He was the youngest of our group of climbers and had never lead a trad route before. As he got to the top, he called to his older brother below. With a forced confidence in his voice he said, "I don't trust myself up here."

From below I caught my breath. Now he was dangling 75 feet above an asphalt road and was beginning to question himself.

Slowly and calmly, his brother answered back, "Well, that's too bad. Sometimes we get ourselves into situations where we just have to keep going."

After a brutal hour long battle in the 104 degree sun he at last unclipped his daisy chain and was able to repel down the route, cleaning gear as he descended to a group of proud and impressed peers.

He had more than defeated a great challenge; he had earned the respect and admiration of a group of people more than a decade older than himself.

Just another small demonstration of the need to either push yourself/or be pushed into excellence.

Read this post

GFF has done an amazing job today and I think you all should read it.

LIFE

Moab

Tomorrow morning I'm taking off for a fun-filled long weekend adventure in Moab, UT.

I'm really excited about it because it is my annual "hang out with the BYU engineers" weekend.

In school I had a really close circle of friends. We took every class together, studied all day long, hung out on the weekends...did pretty much everything but live together. It was awesome and I consider each of them my very best of friends.

This group of friends isn't like one of those big impersonal groups where you have the same kind of casual relationship with everyone. I have very personal and special moments that I remember with each person in the circle.

I'll start with Bryan, because he demands to be first. Actually, his goal in life is to be second place because that means he can never stop striving to be better. If you're never number one at something you can never stop. His heroes are Burt Rutan and Francisco d’Anconia. He always tries to figure out the absolute best way to do things and when he has an opinion about something it is set. Last year I almost killed him when he tried to tell me how to cook hamburgers.

Next comes Alan. Alan is huge....physically, intellectually, spiritually. He is the complete package. He is funny and sincere. He was the only person in our circle that I ever had a real crush on. One time he took me out to a canyon and we shot his guns. The first time that I ever really talked to him we were in a machine shop. I was watching a lathe I'd programmed and he was watching his drill press across the room. His coolant was splashing all over the place, so he decided to hold up a towel so he wouldn't get sprayed. Well, he wasn't paying attention and the towel got caught in the machine. He could have lost a hand.

Brittany and I could have been best friends and the greatest of roommates. We both love to read (she does it more than I), love to shop, and loved the same boy. It is only now that I truly regret some things and happened during college. If I had known then what I know now I really think things would be different. She didn't get to come to the annual trip last year and I am so excited that she's coming to this one!

James. JT. Action Jackson. He was my confident. He was my friend and ally. There are so many special moments that I share with James that I just can't even begin to describe them. I barely knew him, but decided to prank call him out of the blue one night. My junior year all of my roommates were sitting around and I told my roommate Anth to call him and pretend that she was a girl who had a huge crush on him in his religion class. She was working him over pretty well until he figured out what was going on. It was a great way to forge such a strong friendship.

An entire year of my life is wrapped up in Derek. He was the first person I said "I love you" to. He was the first person to break my heart. I am so glad that we are able to be such good friends still.

Becky is a riot. The weird thing about her is that she ended up being roommates with one of my best friends from high school. It is a quirky small little world. The most vivid memory I have with Becks is when I went over to her house one Sunday morning. We made blueberry pancakes and just talked for hours. She told me about this guy that she didn't really like but who liked her a lot and she was considering hooking up with. Fast-forward a year and they were married. Those memories are priceless.

Things are looking better

Well, I learned a lot in the last 24 hours.

1. Don't pretend to fight. Ever.
2. Be patient and try to not to over react.
3. Keep other people's feelings in mind.
4. Situations are only as bad as you make them in your own mind.
5. Photo corners are great to hold pictures in a scrap book, but don't really work in a picture frame on your wall.
6. Watching the dance sequence from Napoleon Dynamite is funny no matter how many times you've seen it before.
7. I miss good huckleberry ice cream from MaryLou's in Spokane.
8. Calling your mom when you're upset is still ok, even at 23.
9. Just hearing my little sister's voice can make me smile and calm me down.
10. Letting other people be in charge really isn't that hard.
11. Don't wait until 6 pm to eat something. Have breakfast, and lunch before then.
12. Be flexible when planning a trip.
13. Everyone has sensitive spots and if you really care about someone you protect those spots, you don't ram your finger into them.
14. My daddy rules. He called me this morning to make sure I am alright.

My new house

So this post might reveal just how strange I am, but I don't care because I really need to write about this.

This weekend I moved into a new house. I painted my bedroom bright green and everything in it just reeks of my personality. The rest of the house is froofy and smells like girly burning candles, but when you walk into my room it is totally different. It is my haven.

"A haven from what?" you may be asking yourself. Well, let me go on.

I am LDS (Mormon). I went to BYU which is a really conservative LDS private college. In the past 6 years I've lived with 30 people....All of which have also been of my faith. There are a few characteristic behaviors of a typical LDS person: we don't drink, smoke, or have sex out of marriage.

These three things combined mean that I have never experienced a few things.

I've never woken up in the morning and had to wait for my roommate's boyfriend to get out of my shower, making me late to work.

I've never had to deal with coming home and seeing my new roommate wearing nothing but a towel, standing outside her second storey window on the roof of my house having a smoke.

I've never seen people downing a fifth of whiskey at 2 in the afternoon in the bedroom next to mine.

These are all little gems of experiences that I've had in the past 2 days of living at my new place.

I know that Monica isn't LDS and that means that she will be doing things different from me. I fully understand that different isn't bad and I am totally fine with people living their lives the way that makes them happy. I really have no problem with that.

The problem I do have is with Erica. When she was showing me the house I assumed that, since she is also LDS, she shared the same standards that I do. I had my mind set for the way that things were going to be.

Well, after this one weekend I realize that my perception was pretty off and now I have to deal with it.

I'm not being judgmental. I don't care what she does. I DO care that things aren't as they seemed when we made this arrangement. I feel deceived and that is just a crappy way to start out a new living situation.

Silly, lied to fool

That's me.

I've been deceived.

I thought I understood my world, the people and things in it, but I was SO wrong.

What a naive little dope.

I thought the guy I was dating was classy, cultured, refined and intelligent.

He is all of those things, but he is also a CLOSET GAMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Classes ended for him last week. To fill his time he has turned the number one pastime of adolescent males. He has spent multiple hours staring at his laptop screen playing a video game. He is addicted. He can't put it down. His life has begun to revolve around 4 things: eating, sleeping, being wonderful to me, and GAMING!

I don't know what to do.

My world is turned upside down.

Help.

My two favorite TV people

Uchennna and Joyce are officially my favorite people ever. I think she looks even better with the shaved head. I wish them all the luck in the world with the baby!

I'm a safety kid

Yesterday my boss's boss took our entire team out for drinks after work. As I sat there sipping my diet coke with a lime, I was surprised by how much I was enjoying myself. I was having a great time sitting there, surrounded by 8 middle aged men, talking about the headache of owning property, the best places for fly fishing, and the ridiculousness that there is no national college football tournament like there is for basketball.

I hung out there until 6ish and then had to take off. This weekend I'm moving into my new house and I decided to paint the walls lime green (v. cute). As I turned into my new neighborhood I realized that I had to pee. Urgently.

I threw my car into park, ran up my driveway, and shoved my key in the lock. I haven't figured out the tricky subtly of this new door yet so as my keys jangled back and forth I said a silent little prayer, "Oh Lord, please let this lock give so that I don't wet myself and have to explain this all to my new roommates."

Mercifully, the little tumblers in the lock heard my prayer and slid open. Flinging the door open, I made a mad dash upstairs to my bathroom.

Sweet release.

(Why do I wait so long? I'm a grown up for heaven sake.)

Anyway, when I left my porcelain benefactor I was met by my new roommate, Monica. She was pale and here eyes were the size of two silver dollars.

She told me that I had freaked her out because there is some mass murderer running around Boulder. I guess he's killed 8 people so far and the police don't know who or why he's doing it. She thought I was the murderer breaking into her new house coming up the stairs to get her. I thought it was kind of funny to be scared of that.....at the time.

I hung around the house painting, trying to hang my curtain rod, and watching the season finale on Amazing Race with the ear doctor until about 11:30. Since my bed isn't over at the new house yet, I had to drive back to Boulder to sleep.

I pulled around the back of my condo and parked. I opened the door and was immediately frightened by the silence. There was no music from the neighbors, not a light in the house was on. The thought of going up to my door which is blocked from view by a high wooden fenced in patio FREAKED me out.

That dark corner was the perfect place for the mass murderer to find me.

I sat in my driver's seat with my door partially opened and considered my options.

I could call the ear doctor, but then I'd have to wait for him to drive up here and the chances of the murderer actually being there were small so it would be a total waste of his time.

So, I decided to fake like I was talking on my cell phone.

I didn't call anyone, I just held my phone to my ear and pretended to have a conversation.

I figured that a mass murderer wouldn't get me because then the person I was talking to would hear my scream and figure something was wrong and call the cops. Smart, huh?

But don't they say that murderers and rapists always target people on cell phones because they aren't fully paying attention to what is going on around them?

Plus, if someone is deranged enough to sit there and wait for me outside my condo, do you honestly think they're going to let a phone call stop them?

Plus, my phone drops signal ALL THE TIME so most likely the person on the other end of any of my calls would just think my phone cut out and go to bed, so really my tactic wouldn't work anyway...

but the scary guy doesn't know that.

he he he

A Fresh Idea

Last night I went to the Fillmore and saw The Shins show. It was incredible. I didn't really know any of their music, but by the end of the night I was a total fan.
The Fillmore in Denver is a great place to see a high energy show. It's basically a stage at one end of a roller-skating rink. There are crystal gothic looking chandeliers that glow purple. Almost everyone in the venue stands on flat ground and looks up at the stage. Consequently, you end up standing right behind the one 6'5" crazy kid with a fully picked out afro.

As I was standing at the show moving from left to right to get a view of the bass player and then the lead singer I was struck with an inspiring revelation.

There should be one area, right in front of the band that has a recessed floor. Only the true and hardcore fans are allowed to be down there. The people who've seen the band a million times, listen to their music on repeat and just love it. Perhaps to gain entry you have to show a photo of your pet that you named after a member in the band. Either that or answer an insanely hard question about the band's origins.

After that, the rest of the floor is separated into height zones. Anyone under 5 feet section is first, followed by 5'0" to 5'5", then 5'5" to 6', then over 6'.

This way everyone can have a good view of the show.

Plus it will reduce the amount of hot tall guys picking up on midgety girls. That annoys me. Let the tall people stick together and the short people stick together. ;)

My new obsession

Colin forwarded me this quiz and it has been occupying every minute since it came to my nimble little fingers.

I've figured out answers so that all but one question is satisfied (which pretty much means I still have the majority of it wrong).

If you like mind benders, give it a whirl.

Ode to Joy

This is my phone

I got it 3 years ago when I first moved out to Boulder to be an intern between my junior and senior year of college (3 years ago).

I love this little phone.

I love that it isn't in color and can't take a picture.

I love that it lights up bright blue and can be used to spot my door's lock at night.

I love that it is completely silent when text messaging so that I can txt anywhere without embarrassment.

Yesterday I was doing laundry and talking to my mom on the phone. I was loading my towels into the machine with my right hand and using old lefty to hold the phone. Our conversation ended, I took the phone from my ear, pushed the little icon of a red phone and promptly threw it into the washing machine.

I stood there stunned and a little confused for a fraction of a second holding my dirty pink towel in my right hand before I realized what had happened.

Horrified, I dove straight into the washing machine, water up to my armpit attempting to reuses my little love.

I drew it out and frantically dried it off.

Heinous thoughts flew through my mind.

"I've lost all my numbers" and "I can't call grandma for Mother's day" and "I have no other alarm clock"

Much to my chagrin, the phone was unresponsive to any attempts at revival. I administered cell phone CPR by rhythmically pushing the power button and reinserting the battery. 15 reps on the button, 2 slow complete battery changes, 15 reps, 2 changes, 15 reps, 2 changes. Nothing but a flat lining of my hopes and dreams.

I came to the realization that my phone was gone.

At first I was depressed. This stage was agony. There was no light in the world, nothing made sense. The sky filled with gray clouds and I had to direction.

Next, I was angry. Why don't cell phone makers include a waterproof seal in their design?!?! Honestly, it wouldn't be that hard to make a rectangular rubber gasket that would lock out any potentially hazardous substance.

This morning I woke up and had accepted the loss.

I started to realize that maybe it was time to get a new phone anyway. The battery couldn't hold a charge longer than 6 hours, the screen sometimes would inexplicably go dark, or blank. I had no reception at Sarah's house.

I went in to circuit City on my break and lamented with the Verizon rep. She spelled out my options, none of which were really appealing. When I asked her about my numbers she sadly informed me that if I can't turn it on, she can't get my numbers.

I was morose, until...

She took the phone from my sad clutches and pushed the power button.

Miracle of miracles, the little blue light came on. My name popped up and my numbers were all there.

Little phone has returned to me.

I will never take it for granted again.

You really gain perspective when things like this happen.

I've never been so proud

This is my best Colorado friend, Sarah



Today she graduated Summa Cum Laude from CU with a BA in Biochemistry.

She invited me to go to the ceremony and be there with all of her family. After all the announcements had been made about the graduates with honors, they presented special awards to the graduating class. The first one they bestowed was an award for the student who had outstanding performance as an undergrad and the most potential for research in pursuing a further degree.

When they announced that the award was offered to Sarah our entire table audibly gasped with shock. She did know anything about the award.

As she went up to the front of the room to receive her certificate and $1,000 worth of chemistry software I started to tear up. I've never felt so proud of any of my friends in my entire life.

She truly is No. 1!

In pursuit of the perfect schedule

I'm getting really excited about school again. This morning I went online and tried to create what I thought my schedule might look like for the fall.

Creating the perfect school schedule is a fine art honed by 4 years of serious practice.

Criteria for the perfect schedule:

1. No class starting before 9
2. No class ending after 4
3. No class on Friday (not a very large component because it seems impossible in engineering)
4. No class between 2-3 any day.
5. No breaks between classes longer than 1 hour.
6. At least one class not in the same building (forces me actually moving)
7. Latest class on Friday ends no later than noon.

So far my best case schedule fulfills items 1, 2, 4, 5 (on Tuesday/Thursday), and 6. Not bad.

Now I wish I could go online and register....

Dear CEO of Target,

I just wanted to take a minute to express my total satisfaction, nay, my overwhelming joy with your establishment.

Yesterday I was having a terrible day. My co-worker was in a foul mood and was cursing like a sailor. My manager had an argument with his bank for an hour and since we share an adjoining wall, I was pleasured to hear every word.

The person who told me that he would plan and run our church youth activity night (FHE) just didn't show up and since I am in charge of it I had to deal with everyone's complaints about what a crappy job I do.

I left as soon as I could and came home to sit on my couch. My lovely boyfriend, the ear doctor, came over and we decided to go to Target because I wanted to buy a movie.

I was thoroughly entertained when we found this little jem:

I'm glad that Bordeaux is so proud of his product that he willingly puts his name on it. That is the kind of product confidence that I can really put my trust in.

Next, I was infinitely entertained by this "book":

Did you know that on almost every page of this book you can be pleased to notice Paris Hilton's left lazy eye? Pretty entertaining if you ask me.

The true motivation for this letter comes from my experience in the check out line. While I was waiting for my turn to purchase my wrapped set of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and The Wizard of Oz I noticed that the makers of Big Red cinnamon Chewing Gum have decided to switch their packaging.

immediately after I saw the packs of gum I started singing the big red song. By now I was in a really good mood and decided that I didn't care if anyone heard my singing my favorite jingle of all time. I started out:

"Get close a little longer, Hold tight a little longer,"

Gaining gusto, I continued

"make it last a little longer, longer with big red"

At this point it became my turn to get my DVDs rung up. With reckless abandon I pushed onward

"That big red freshness lasts right thorough it"

Crescendoing into

"your fresh breath goes on and on"

And here I paused because the song goes up to some high notes in the next line and I wasn't sure if I was going to hit them on key.

In my momentary hesitation Josh, my cashier, looked from me, to my boyfriend, and back to me and sang,

"while you chew it"

in the most wonderful monotone, deep voice I've ever heard.

His participation in my little indulgence made my day and formed a warm little spot in my heart. I will always feel a deep bond of friendship for Josh, and thereby for Target.

Thank you again for not only stocking your shelves with superior quality merchandise, but for adhering to the highest standard in your employee work force.

Sincerely,

Katie
(A life-long customer)

Congrats!

I just found out that one of my best friends in the world and his wife had their first baby on Sunday. His name is Jonah and I think he is just about the cutest little guy ever.



I am pretty impressed by how his wife was able to be so pretty for this picture after just having delivered a baby.

We were emailing back and forth and I found out that she had actually "seen" her baby be delivered. She asked for a mirror.

Now I know that it must be amazing to see, but am I the only one who is kind of shocked by that? Is this a common thing to do? What do you think?

Freakin Colorado

When you picture in your mind a beautiful spring day late in April what do you see? Sunny skies, blooming lilacs, warm breezes? Me to.

This morning I woke up to this:



Yes, what you're looking at is snow. This picture really doesn't show how much we got.

My car was buried in 6-8 inches of snow this morning. Instead of getting up and getting to work at 7 like I had planned, I waited until 9 in the hopes that the sun would come up and melt all the nasty white snow away so I wouldn't have to scrape my windows.

No such luck.

At 9 there was just as much snow and now I was late to work.

Just to make my day even better, my UGG boots decided to spring a leak and let in dampness. Great, a wet spot on my right sock. Glorious.

Is it dumb of me that I don't get why it's called book "memed"?

My favorite male blogger has asked me to do this and since I really have nothing better to do before my weekly group meeting starts I thought I'd let you all in on my personal literary life.

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?

• Well, since in that book they're burning all the books and erasing the past it really wouldn't matter which book I was. They all get burnt up because 451 degrees F is the temperature that paper burns at.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

• Sydney Carton from Tale of Two Cities. He starts out as such a jerk, but by the end is the one of the most Nobel characters in literature.

This last book you bought is....

• Falling Leaves by Adeline Mah Yen.

What are you currently reading?

• The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elizabeth Robinson
• Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirsig
• David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
• Falling Leaves by Adeline Mah Yen

Five Books you would take to a deserted island:

1. Lord of the Flies....I've never read it but I think it would be fitting.
2. The complete works of Edgar Allen Poe.....so I could see that things could always get worse.
3. Atlas Shrugged.....so that I could realize that being away from the rest of society might just be a good thing.
4. Tale of Two Cities....it's my favorite and I could read it over and over.
5. My scriptures....I'm a goodie two shoes through and through.

Who are you going to pass this stick to? and why?

1. Brittany because she reads more than anyone else I know.
2. Anth because she only posts if she has an assigned topic.
3. Bryan because he likes off the way theories.

Finals Stress

I'm stressed out about finals and I'm not even taking any.

Sarah and the ear doctor are both studying like crazed beasts and their levels of tension are rubbing off on me. They are making me remember the scary, hard parts of school and that is making me nervous to start in the fall.

Finals week at school was always a blur, especially the one right before the beginning of summer.

I remember my freshman year a bunch of my friends were all sitting around outside our dorms after we'd finished our tests, basking in the sun and laziness of nothing further required for the next 3 months.

I remember laying there, on a spread out blanket, the heat of the Utah April sun rapidly turning my flesh to a searing red hue and clearing my mind of everything. I languidly stretched my hand to reach for my cold 7-11 cherry slurpee and realized that at that moment I was completely fulfilled.

My friend approached us, still ensnared by the evil clutches of her Jansport shackles. She had just finished her last final. As she came into sight, she threw her restrictive backpack of burden to the grassy knoll, broke her dull stubb of a yellow number two pencil, and throwing it in the air, fell to her knees and took her first breath of freedom.

It was a moment I'll never forget.

New Book

I was at the airport last night waiting to fly away from the mountain of sadness that has enveloped my family. Fly back to my happy world where my best friend is getting married to the most amazing guy possible. Fly back to my wonderful supportive, thoughtful boyfriend. Fly back to my job where people value my work and my opinion. Back to my life.

I finished the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time (pretty fun little read) and I needed something to draw my thoughts away from the depressing alley to which it has been prone the last few days.

I picked up Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah.

It is riveting. And revolting. I'm only 1/4 of the way in but so far parts have made me so upset I felt sick to my stomach. Any book that draws me in enough to elicit a physical reaction is very well written.

I suggest it to anyone who wants a really great, modern read.

I'm at a loss

This kind of things only happens to other people. Distant people whose faces you see on TV in the throws of despair. You watch them while you eat your dinner on the couch and think, "well, isn't that heartbreaking." Then, you switch off the TV and go to bed.

Yesterday my cousin's little four year old daughter died.

She was playing with her sister and somehow fell out of a two story window onto a slab of cement below.

The little girl that I last saw at Thanksgiving, who decided to decorate my ears and hair with Christmas ornaments, won't be around to do it next year.

My entire family is shocked and devastated by the news.

Jentel was the cutest little girl imaginable. She had long pretty blonde hair and strikingly big eyes.

Jentel's Obituary

They've decided to donate all her organs, which I think is just so moving. My cousin and his wife are in the middle of one of the hardest times they will ever experience and they are still able to see past themselves and give someone else's child a second chance at life. I am so amazed and inspired.

I guess now my Aunt Sandy will have someone to take care of.

Final choice

I've decided to stay here and go to CU Boulder for grad school. While I regret having to turn down Stanford (again) I just really think that this is the place I'm supposed to be. The program here is pretty great, with some really interesting looking research. So that's that. The choice is made. Gloria!

Stuff I want to know about people on my sidebar

To "the narrator" at project mayhem:
Why do you stay in Utah valley when you seem to be so bothered by the other people there? Do you like being there just because you can feel different?

To jl at celibate in the city:
Do you ever think about just not writing in your blog anymore? I don't say this as a suggestion or anything, just wondering if you've ever experienced the same feelings of staleness that I'm having right now. How did you get over it?

To Anth at Random Junk:
Why don't you post more? You're a really great writer. If all you ever did was give reviews of the books you're reading it would be AWESOME! Plus, when are you going to get a real blog that I CAN MAKE COMMENTS TO?!?!?!

To the MAGSTER at miss margaret's art class:
When are you going to call me so we can chat about everything that you're going through right now?

To Jill at egg in spoon:
How did you become such a good writer? Do you read a lot? What's your favorite book? How's your puppy doing?

To Kacee at misery loves fun-pany:
Are you the person who posted about that cool wedding shower game that you played that was like the newly-wed game? I want to do that for my friend's shower I'm throwing next month and need ideas.

To GFF:
Will your husband ever have a set schedule so you guys can come home and be together every night? It makes me sad for you when I hear he has to be away 4 days in a row.

To Britt at pink poodle prints:
Did you get your thesis written? Are you going to be done before you head off to North Carolina?

To Rebecca at throught the looking glass:
Are you ever going to post again?

To Bryan:
Please don't forget to have your brother put together some climbing gear for our trip to Moab.

To "elle" at blonde beautiful brilliant bombshell:
Do you think you're going to be in engineering for the length of your whole career?

To Dan at the howlingman:
Did you know you are the most intriguing person to me on the sidebar?

To Sarah Marinara:
When are you going to compile your work and get someone to publish it? What are you waiting around for?

My friend's fun survey

In my family we have this game. You go around and try to stump each other with advertising jingles. One person sings the song, the other person has to guess the product.

Anyway, my friend Spencer is doing a survey and needs your help. It only takes 10 minutes, and it is really fun, so go over there and give him a bigger statistical sampling group.

Spencer's Survey

Last night

I had a bad dream.

The kind of bad dream that makes you want to curl up in a ball as tightly as you can, pull the blanket over your head and wait for it to be over. You want your mom to come and rub your back, to tell you that everything is going to be alright.

Not a nightmare. Nightmares are bad, but they go away.

I'm talking about the kind of hauntingly bad dream that stays with you, lurking around every corner all day long, hiding until you've let your guard down and someone or something reminds you of the dream which suddenly becomes all that more real and vivid.

I dreamed that the ear doctor broke up with me and started dating my cousin Hilary. It was very dark and scary for me. I kept questioning him for why he dumped me and he just kept saying over and over, "I don't love you" and "I never liked you"

I got up in the middle of the night to try to shake it.

I drank a whole glass of water.

I went back to bed and it resumed. I ended up actually physically crying in my sheets.

It was horrible.

Really disturbing commercial

So last night I saw a commercial that freaked me out.

This couple is out in the middle of the lake in a boat when they get a hole in the bottom. As water rushes in the guy starts to freak out because he needs to stop it or it will ruin the date. He is frantically looking everywhere for something to stop up the hole.

Amidst his frantic searching the girl reaches into her bag and pulls one of her trusty Tampax pearl tampons from an industrial sized box, uses the applicator, and stops up the hole.

They then were able to continue their romantic date.

A few things in this 30 second spot disturbed me.

1. Why the heck did she have an entire box with her on their romantic boat ride? Honestly, what did she think, she was going to have a chance to right there in the boat use one? Nast.

2. The shot they showed of the tampon expanding because of the water just made my skin crawl.

3. Does their really need to be other uses for a tampon. I'm pretty sure the one their designed for is enough. Now I have to carry some around just in case I am involved in a nautical mishap? Maybe my grandpa should buy a box and keep them on the boat just in case. I can just see it now....My grandpa sitting around with a bunch of his buddies fishing when they spring a leak. All the other old men start freaking out, but not my grandpa because he was prepared. Yeah, right.

4. Why didn't they just row the boat to shore? I mean seriously, the whole rest of the date they are either going to spend a) bailing out water or b) sitting with their feet going pruny. Either way the date is pretty much ruined and does not necessitate using the tampon.

That commercial was just weird and makes me wonder how these ads get on the air. Isn't there some kind of checks and balances that each ad has to go through? A succession of sign-off? You can't tell me that THAT add got past more that one person. Somewhere someone must have heard the premise and said, "fixing a canoe? I don't get it?"

Here's a juicy question

Is/was being homosexual considered "cool" in your high school?

Blogging about TV

So I kind of think this is retarded to post about, but I'm going to.

Last night I watched my first episode of Super Nanny and I really liked it.

The premise of the show is that there are parents out there who just don't have a clue of what they are doing. I'm sure you've seen the type...they're always yelling at their kids in public, or buying them ridiculously expensive presents all the time. Well, this "super nanny" comes in, observes the family for a while, helps them try to learn out to be better parents and leaves having bettered their lives.

It sounded dumb to me when I heard about it.

I gave it a chance last night and was pleasantly surprised.

I felt so bad for these people because they just didn't have any idea at all how to help their kids. The mom was at her wits end and frazzeled and I just felt so bad for them. The mom even admitted that she felt like a bad mom and she loved her kids so much and just wanted to do the right thing, but she didn't know what else to do. It took them 2 hours to put the 2 year old to bed every night!

Anyway, super nanny came in and really helped them out.

Normally I don't really like reality TV that much, but this just seemed so real and honest that I was touched.

Happy Birthday Bryan

Brittany had a wonderful idea.

I'd also like to send out a creative and heartfelt birthday wish to my pal Bryan.

I can't even remember my first impression of Bryan, but I bet it was filled with Dualism. I probably was instantly drawn to someone with so much confidence, yet repelled because that independence almost overshadowed my own.

The strange thing is that I have hardly any memories of doing school things with Bryan. We went through the same classes, had the same homework and study friends and yet my recollection of those times have him strangely absent.

Bryan is the person who makes me think. He challenges what I hold to be plain truth and makes me really understand what I believe. He makes you commit to what you think.

When I think of Bryan my mind immediately jumps from fond memory to fond memory. First, and I don't know why, but I think of that smile. That "I can conquer the world if I want to" smile. That "I bet I can at least get the number of any girl I want" smile. That "Wall street is mine for the taking" smile.

The second oldest memory I have of him is Fall Fling my senior year. He just walked up to me and we started dancing...With my boyfriend (Derek) standing right there. It was weird, but seemed so normal and innocent.

Third, I think of is the Havasu trip last year. The arrangement was that I was going to fly in to Vegas, he was going to rent a car in LA, drive over and pick me up from the airport. When I landed I called him and found out that he'd just left LA. I sat on that bench and waited for him to come get me. He pulled up in the "mid life crisis" (convertible Seabring) and we drove the whole way to Havasu with the wind rushing through our hair.

Also during that trip Bryan tried to tell me how to make hamburgers and I almost went ballistic.

Bryan reminds me of being strong, independent, verbose and funny. He reminds me of strange dates and even stranger propositions. He reminds me of the indomitable spirit of man. He reminds me of me. He reminds me of college. He reminds me of laughing and loving and missing the people I hold so dear.

Happy birthday pal.

Saving Money

When you want to go on a vacation what is the number one thing that will dissuade you from going?

Money, right?

You never can seem to scrape together enough cash to leave home. Well, time is probably a close second, but whatever.

You want to take a great trip to somewhere you've never been far, far away but you just can't bring yourself to be widely irresponsible, throw caution to the wind, whip out your credit card and go.

What is the alternative?

Two words:

ROAD TRIP

The thing about the road trip is that you probably aren't going anywhere TOO far away and you are probably seeing things you've already seen.

This weekend I took the 8 hour road trip to Provo with the ear doctor.

Yep, the place I lived for 4 years.

I know every backroad and sidestreet in the area. I know the best way to get from campus in Provo to my aunt's house in Orem factoring in time of day, weather, sporting events and my personal fatigue.

I went over for my little sister's bridal shower (which went very well Heather) so I didn't really want to buy a plane ticket to get there.

What a fool I am.

Not only did we have to buy gas at these freakishly high prices, but also I got a $125 speeding ticket (curse you Colorado highway patrol), on the way back we slid off the black-ice covered freeway and had to be towed 6 feet back onto the road (to the tune of $260), and we had ended up staying the night at the Silverthorne Motel 8 (another $60), and having dinner there too!

Total spent this weekend on transportation ALONE: $575

Total cost for two round trip tickets from Denver to Salt Lake City on Frontier Airlines: $410

Any questions?

Well everyone

I'm off to Utah for the weekend! It should be awesome because tomorrow afternoon I'm skiing with my Aunt, Saturday morning is Maggie's bridal shower, and Saturday night we're going to either a bluegrass fiddle festival or swing dancing with the ear doctor and all his friends.

BTW I'm introducing the ear doctor to my mom for the first time this weekend. I'm sure it will go really well, but stay tuned for my synopsis.

I don't know how I did it...

but everyone at work has started to think that I run the show around here. Seriously, at least once a day someone makes a comment about how I have our entire program wrapped around my little finger.

I think it is the combination of knowing what I'm talking about, helping people out when the are in a jam, being a girl, and being shockingly sassy that wins people over.

For example: Today my boss's boss came in and fixed my heating vents because I was complaining about my office being too hot. Then, he said that I should have a promotion and helped me understand how to go about getting one.

Maybe I just have it really perfect here at my job or something. Whatever the case, things are just all coming together for me really well.

Hello, we ALL have to share this space

So since when has it been alright to talk to me in the elevator?

Just because I am standing there, breathing, occupying the same closet size space as you does not mean that I want to strike up an inane conversation with you. Especially about work. Especially since you do not directly work with me and hence have no interesting thing to say to me which could in some way benefit or even interest me. Especially since you are wearing a t-shirt with a dragon on it, black tapered legged jeans, and a pair of tennis shoes with velcro.

Posting under the influence

So I think that this new blog template is messing with my mind.

Whenever I open it up I see how nice and sweet it looks and it makes it difficult to say anything depressing, or even sarcastically funny.

I look at those freakin pink petals and any firey, sassy, sullen streak in me is muted, dulled, irradicated, and snuffed out.

I think it is making my blog bland and not much fun to read.

I'll try to do better and keep it more real.

Things everyone should do at least once in their life...

and I did all last night.

1. Talk for a long time to someone you thought you wouldn't like at all, but given a chance proves to be fascinating and intriguing.

2. See your significant other drive up, drop everything in your arms, run out to him, jump up into his arms, kiss and spin around in circles.

3. Display excessive amounts of public affection at the grocery store.

4. Talk through a movie because you'd rather talk to the people in the room with you than do anything else.

5. Live with your best friend and end up still being best friends when you move out. (I'm assuming this....I haven't moved out yet)

6. Eat authentic guacamole and chicken enchiladas prepared by someone who has spent more than 2 years living in central Mexico.

7. Realize that your life is pretty much the way you want it. You haven't made any big mistakes and the choices that you are making will all work out in the end.

Its surprising they're still together after that beginning

Or

The Story of Father's Proposal

I'm sure over the years this story has become inflated in some areas and downplayed in others, but this is the version that sticks in my mind. Since you can't really ever get at true reality, this interpretation will have to do.

My mother was a strong, independent woman in her upper 20s who had a career and some strange roommates.

My dad was a funny salesman who had decided that law school wasn't really for him.

They both went to the same strange church congregation that they lovingly called, "the cuckoos nest" because there were so many nuts in the group.

Anyway, they'd been dating for quite a while.

One night as they were sitting in the car he tossed a little box into her lap and said, "well, what do you think?"

She opened it up and it was one diamond earring.

Confused she looked at it and back up at him in bewilderment.

It finally dawned on her that this was a marriage proposal.

She later found out that it was the earring of a "lady of questionable reputation" that my dad knew (he was a lot more sketchy back then) and had been purchased at a pawn shop (I think?).

She took 3 months in giving him an affirmative answer to his "eloquent" request.

To this day he insists that the earring was a "jewler's setting" and she maintains that it was only a "few weeks" before she gave him an answer.

Classic, huh?

A kernel of annoyance

Last night I watched the NCAA championship game. It was pretty good and came down to the wire, which is my favorite way for any game to go.

The only thing that annoyed me was the table that the announcer people sat at.

Across the side facing the court there were big numbers:



Two things about this really bothered me. Bothered me to distraction and drew my attention from the game.

First, the numbers read in descending order from left to right. For some reason this really bugged me because here in North America we hold the norm for numbers to read from left to right in ascending order. How hard would it have been to print them the correct direction and avoid the headache?

Second, 65? Why 65? Did they intentionally mess up the sequence to mess with my mind? Don't most people look at numbers around them and try to make patters, see order, develop a sequence for the chaos in life? Don't they know that one small ripple the pond of my consciousness will disturb everything else?

Why didn't' they just put 64 and avoid all this consternation?!?!?!

This might just beat my dad's proposal for Romance

Check this guy out.

Getting the brush off

Why do I let him get to me? It makes no sense.

It doesn't matter how much time or space I put between us he can totally wreck my mood with one inconsiderate action. I could go for months and months without my thoughts wandering to him, but inevitably he'll spring into my mind while someone is speaking or saying something that he really should hear.

I don't want him there, and yet, he is.

Why won't my strong will carry over into this and allow me to totally eradicate him from my psyche?

He calls me when he is at his lowest, most vulnerable point because he knows I'll be there. And I'm proud to be the type of friend that everyone knows will be there when they need it.

Only.

With him it feels like I'm being taken advantage of.

And I hate that.

I'm torn between my compassionate side and my independent side.

That's really what I hate.

Either course of action makes me feel like I am betraying myself.

Too Cliche?

In past relationships I've always had certain songs that remind me of my significant other.

"Near You Always" by Jewel and "Volare" by the Gypsy Kings will always conjure up happy memories of Derek and his ghetto little blue house in Provo.

"The Way you Move" by Outkast and "I love you" by Nat Cole make me think of falling in love with Eric in Mexico.

I've always had these songs that make me think of them, but I've never actually had a song that was "our song."

It always seems so cheesy and lame to have some ultra-romantic song that embodies your relationship.

Well, the ear doctor and I have officially decided to have a song, and I'm thrilled about it. It's a new song, so neither of us has any other memories attached to it. Also, it seems to be written exactly for us.

The song is...


wait for it...


Better Together by Jack Johnson.

It's the first track on his new In Between Dreams CD.

Anyway, my question is this:
Have you ever had an official "song" with a significant other? What was it? How did you decide it?

Yea! It's spring!

That old design was WAY too intense for how happy I am and how beautiful it is outside.

I know my commets blow. I'm sorry if you've been frustrated by them.

My plant doesn't need me

When I started the program I am currently working on my officemate Shane bought me a office warming present.

A plant.

One of those plants that you get at the grocery store that is wrapped in silver and green cellophane with a big silver bow.

I love my little plant. She is pretty and tough and has survived everything from freezing winter winds (Shane left the window open one night) to life without water (I went on a trip and forgot to ask someone to water her) to drops from great heights (my mountain of reference books habitually knock her off the back of my desk). I used to love her independence and really looked to her as the embodiment of my own personality.

But.

I've been sick for 4 days and didn't come in to see her. No one was here to say hello to her in the morning. She didn't get water, natural light or her soil massage. Still she looks great. Better than ever.

It kind of makes me sad that she doesn't need me.

It makes me wonder if this is sometimes how I make/have made my boyfriends (past and present) feel.

I am independent and strong and don't really *need* anyone. I have my own goals and plans.

I'm sure it is attractive at first, but isn't a basic part of every relationship based (slightly at least) on needing the other person? Does my strong will turn people away and make them feel like their presence is ancillary to my existence when that really isn't how I feel.

Even though my plant is strong, if she goes forever without water she will shrivel up and die...even if she doesn't ever give that impression.

The miracle of eBay

My friend Derek *** (last name replaced with *** to keep his identity from circling the globe further still) went down to Costa Rica last week and got mugged. It sucked because he had to cancel his credit cards and get a new drivers license. I felt bad for him.

My friend Bryan decided to be funny and "sell his soul" on eBay. This was the email Bryan sent this morning:

So, I had my soul up for auction on eBay (It attracted some pretty high bids). The guy who bought it was from somewhere in South America. I was all ready to pack it up and ship it off to him, and then I noticed that his name was Derek ***. I thought "That's funny. I know Derek ***. Why would he want my soul? He's got a pretty good one already."

So I called the phone number. It didn't sound like you. He had a pretty thick Latin accent. But he had several credit cards that checked out under your name, your drivers license number, your social security number, and he even said he sleeps in bright red moose print pj's. He didn't seem to know anything about Derek Land, so I didn't believe him, and canceled the sale.

What happened down there?


Sounds to me like the guy who mugged my friend in Costa Rica tried to buy my other friend's soul on eBay.

Eureka Watkins! We've solved the mystery!

Addiction

Oh. Sweet. Glory.

Reese's is making peanut butter cups in the form of Easter eggs for the holiday and they are sweet ecstasy in a brightly colored foil wrapper.

There's no place like home

The light that comes in from the guest bathroom window and falls softly over my clean sparkling kitchen counter.

The landing half way up the stairs has a little ledge that I use as a window seat sometimes when I read or just look out to watch the rain.

My huge beautiful bedroom with vaulted ceilings, overhead fan and strong white double French doors.

The porch outside my front door that allowed me to watch thunder and lightening storms in the summer while I lazily strummed my guitar.

The hanging light with a dimmer switch that is suspended at just the right height over my kitchen table.

The little space just outside my bedroom door that would be perfect for a large indoor plant, that I never got around to buying.

The walk-in closet bigger than any of my rooms in college.

The little community park just across the street, hidden from the outside and only used by the members of my neighborhood.

The gazebo in the middle of my complex that is never used except for the two minutes I pause in it on my walk back from the gym.

The walking distance to the grocery store.

The funny old man who lives next door and spends every evening in the summer listening to the radio on his porch.

The screen door which allows me to let the breeze and sunlight flow in on a warm afternoon without letting any bugs in.

The memories I have of some of my favorite people being there.

All things I'll miss when I move out of my place on Sunday.

Ode to the Ear Doctor

Can I just take a minute to be that silly stupid girl who adores her boyfriend?

Ok, thanks.

He is such an amazing person. This week is his spring break and instead of going off somewhere and doing something fun with his friends he decided to stay in town with me since I can't leave like everyone else. So sweet.

We've been spending every free moment with each other for the last couple of weeks and it is great. He's funny and gets me so well.

When I decided to move there wasn't even a second thought in his mind that he'd help me out. He wanted to help me.

Also, we can talk. I mean really talk. He is interested in what I have to say and what I think. If he has questions about our relationship, he asks them. If he wonders what I think about politics, he asks me. If he wants to go see a movie, he asks what I want to see.

Not only that, but he thinks I'm funny. He thinks my weird traits are cute and endearing.

Sometimes he doesn't like what I do, and he TELLS me that. He doesn't get upset and clam up.

He doesn't always let me have my way. (A very good thing for me)

He thinks of my needs before his own.

He tries to always be a better boyfriend/friend/confidant/man.

He is dedicated to his religion and takes it seriously.

He's just great.

Am I really weird?

Last night my sister passed a kidney stone. I felt so bad for her because I know that they hurt like a mo fo.

Anyway, when I talked to her this morning I asked if she'd taken a picture of the stone.

She reacted like I was crazy and gross to even think about taking a picture of something like that.

I just thought it would be interesting to document how small that little beast was that caused so much pain.

If it had been me, I probably would have taken a picture and then posted it here for all to enjoy.

Is that really strange?

Frustration

Yesterday I systematically emailed every Stanford Mechanical Engineering professor whose research is remotely interesting and asked them for money.

I groveled.

I begged.

I pleaded.

I offered to grade papers or do grunt work.

On my way home from work I flipped on the radio. This girl was talking about how she bought her finace a $90K truck as an engagement present only to have to guy cheat on her 3 weeks later. Instead of demanding the truck back in court, she decided to just let him have it. She said, "I'm a trust fund kid so I paid for it in cash and it doesn't really make that much of a difference to me"

I was instantly ENRAGED!

It seemed so backward that some 22 year old trust fund kid dropped $90K on a guy who cheated on her and I'm sitting here ready to sell my soul for someone to pay my $44K tuition to the second best engineering program in the country. Surely that money would be better spent on my education than some moron's transportation?!?!?!

I can't even afford the $300 plane ticket to get out there for their prospective grad visit day on April 4.

Just another indication of how the whole universe is out of balance.

Colorado's Own Ripley's Believe-it or Not

Saturday the ear doctor and I drove an hour and a half away from the mountains into the flat, drab plains of Eastern Colorado in pursuit of the bizarre.

We'd heard about the Genoa Tower and wanted to check it out.

It was INSANE.

Every square inch of this place was covered in junk.

We met and hung out with the owner, Jerry Chubbuk. He was a character. The tour cost $1 each and was worth every 100 pennies. Before starting the tour he gave us a chance to win our money back. If we could correctly guess 20 items in a row he'd refund our money. I got one of the 20.

As we wandered through the 21 rooms filled with every bit of imaginable junk I was completely overwhelmed. Things were attached to every square inch of the structure. Sharp saw blades were suspended overhead by a twist of rusty wire and a screw.



My favorites had to be the stuffed people at the top of the tower, the 2 headed stuffed calf and the carcass of a fetal pig with 8 legs.



I do'nt think Jerry makes a boat load of money off his tours since it was Saturday afternoon and we only saw 2 other couples there. In fact, I don't even think he makes enough to turn on the heat because it was freezing out there. The only amenity out there was electricity. No plumbing necessitated making do without some standard convienences.



If anyone is every driving cross country on I-70, do NOT miss the chance to check this place out. It blew my mind.

Brett's Birthday

Here are my pals. Sorry for the poor photo quality...I'm pissed that my digital camera does this sometimes.



From left to right:
Kristian, Nicole (you can only see a bit of her face ), Eric, Calvin, Ear Doctor, Jocelyn

Just an observation

Poodle got me thinking.

Where does the line between loving someone with your whole heart and becoming a doormat lie? Is the definition purely internal or is there a necessary external measure used? Can someone act and feel the EXACT some way, be a doormat in one situation and not in another? Is it dependent on a second party or not?

Most of the discussion I've heard about love states that real love is when selfishness vanishes. Does that mean that the "self" vanishes as well? I sure hope not because this is antithetical to my personality. Does that mean I'll never really be able to love someone else because I am independent?

I say no.

Love is not love unless the "self" survives. When someone "looses themselves" in love they have not truly attained it, because THEY are not in it anymore...Just a shadow of who they used to be.

It's really simple math.

If you take two separate people, combined them, melt them, join them, erase they old personas to make one entity you have LESS than what you started with.

If you take two separate people, join them but still keep them separate entities you really create 3: one person, one person, and one relationship.

You end up having more than you had to start.

Any thoughts?

A great compliment

Last night was my friend Brett's 30th birthday. After we'd all finished dinner, they brought out the pile of gifts for him to open.

He grabbed mine first out of the stack, and said, "Katie, you always give such thoughtful, creative gifts"

Isn't that nice? I was really pleased with that.

BTW-I got him a Simpsons puzzle and some apple juice. Strange? Sure, but to understand the perfection of this gift I have to take you back....

One Friday night about 5 months ago I dropped in late at his house to pick something up. All the lights in the house were off, but there was a triangular sliver of golden light coming from the cracked open spare room. As I got closer I could hear the unmistakable voice of miss Dolly Parton softly crooning. I pushed the door open slightly and saw one of the funniest sights.

Brett was sitting with his back to the door in front folding card table, slowly tapping his right foot. He was putting together a puzzle and languidly sipping a tall tumbler of apple cider.

Such a party animal.

A night out with the girls

Well, it wasn't really "out" and it wasn't really with MY "girls" but it was surprisingly fun.

Last night we had an all-girl church activity where we were supposed to bring stuff that represented our talents so that other people could walk around, look at them and instantly understand who we are and what we're all about.

Yeah.

Tall order.

Between work, the gym, and hitting the mall for the finishing touches of my little sister's birthday present, I only had about 10 minutes in which to create this display that would fully encompass me.

I opened up the back seat of my car and started tossing stuff in.

I threw in my violin, my guitar, some CDs, a tall stack of books I've just finished, the 10 journals I've filled in my life, a bunch of photo albums, sheet music, my ski boots, goggles and gloves, a couple of frisbees, two huge posters I've made for work and some engineering text books, a patridge and a pear tree.

I drove like a madman to get there on time. When I showed up, short of breath, I realized that not everyone had been so quite to offer their entire lives to the event.

People had a painting they had done, or a photo of their family or a book of piano music. I was kind of embarrassed by the shear volume of stuff I'd brought, but I pulled it all out. I figured that just having that much stuff would show people how splintered and fragmented I feel these days.

Anyway, I ended up spending most of the night trying to explain what I do at work to a group of people with complete blank stares on their faces. Engineering tends to do this to people. I think it intimidates a lot of people, but I wish they would just listen and give it a chance because it really isn't as technical and difficult to grasp as they think.

Photo of the Day

This shot was taken from the window of a little 4 passenger plane going up over Corona pass in Colorado about a month ago. It was breathtaking!

3 things I'd rather be doing right now

1. Skiing. We just had a huge storm here on Sunday and I bet the snow is deep and fresh. Plus, it is sunny and bright out so I bet it is a perfect ski day.

2. Packing. I know, I usually hate packing like any normal person, but I'm moving in for a month with Sarah so it will be fun times for us for the months of April and May. It's been SO long since I was living with someone I consider my best friend.

3. Napping. I'm tired and my bed was SO soft and inviting this morning.

So, what are yours?

Pictures from Texas

Saturday it was 90 degrees in Dallas. We took a tour of the 6th floor museum and saw the window from which JFK was shot. I thought it was a little morbid that they painted a big white X on the ground at the approximate location of the car at the time of the shooting.




We walked around the West End of town and decided we didn't like it that much because it felt "manufactured" and "touristy." We all prefer having real city experiences.




Sunday morning we spent walking around the arts district. This was much more enjoyable. As we were going back to our car people were starting to line up for the St. Patrick's day parade. I felt a real closeness to all the red headed people. There was one red headed little girl that was so cute I found myself staring at her. In my distracted state I walked into a low marble slab and now have a nice little purple bruise developing.




Downtown Dallas. I thought it was so beautiful to take a picture of the reflection of buildings off a total glass sky scraper. The twirly ice cream cone building is a tribute to gratitude. I thought that idea was particularly appealing.




You're supposed to walk through this big gold ring and think of all the things you're grateful for and all the other people who are less fortunate than you. I guess is is supposed to make you realize your responsibility to help others for the advancement of the common good. Derek stood in it, with arms outstretched, and pretended he was Da Vinci's famous Anatomy piece.

Inverted advice column

I've always thought of myself as a pretty good girlfriend, but lately I've started to doubt my preconceived notions. Perhaps even I could improve in this area, but I just don't know what I could do to be better. In an effort to grow and learn I'd like to pose this question:

What are 3 traits of an awesome girlfriend?

Inquiring minds want to know.

A day of rest

I like walking around big cities on Sunday. Even though a lot of people don't use it as a day of worship anymore, it is still a day of rest, and a big city like Dallas is living proof of that.

As I walked down the streets, looking up from my cement bound vantage to the tops of buildings that truly seem to scrape the sky, this was the thought that passed through my mind, "where are all the people?"

Sunday is the day when the city slows down. It takes a hiccup and lets time hang for a day, taking that much needed exhale.

I like feeling the marked contrast between Sunday and the rest of the week that you get in big cities. You don't get that anywhere else.

Bill Cosby Himself

Have you seen that DVD yet?

Dad is great...Gives us chocolate cake

Pure Terror

I live in a 3 bedroom/2.5 bathroom condo alone.

I love living alone because it means that any mess in the house is intentional and I can deal with it if I want, but if I don't want to then I don't. I come and go as I please, cook dinner whenever I want to, have total control of the TV and pretty much live as the lord and master of my domain. It's great.

Last night I cooked a full beautiful dinner for the ear doctor and a couple of missionaries.

After dinner the missionaries left and the ear doctor and I watched Gilmore Girls and the amazing race. (Note: the ear doctor did a lab write up during Gilmore girls. It was his first time watching it and his favorite character was Kirk. Men just don't "get" that show.)

Anyway, he had to leave at 9 to go work on homework with a buddy, which left me home, alone at 9 pm.

I haven't been home, alone, and awake at 9 pm in FOREVER. I decided to get some laundry and dishes done while unwinding and watching and episode of Law and Order:SVU. It was an episode about a psycho rapist who preyed on young virgins. Yikes. It was riveting and freaky and deliciously entertaining. During the commercials, I muted the TV for a moment and couldn't hear the washing machine going.

In my head I tried to determine which cycle it should be on, and I immediately got annoyed because, by my count, it should definitely still be going. A little cranked, I went upstairs to check on it.

As I opened the laundry room door I was immediately struck by the scene which presented itself. There was my washer, full of clothes, and soapy water to the brim with the door wide open.

The first thought that ran through my mind was, "oh my gosh, some psycho rapist has somehow sneaked into my house and is toying with my mind and luring me upstairs into his clutches by opening the lid of the washer and stopping the cycle."

As I shut the lid and started up the cycle again, I dialed 911 on my cell phone, poised my right thumb over the send button just in case, and I picked up the hammer nearby. I don't know why I didn't just run from my apartment, but I thought I'd look around. (Suddenly all those damsels in B movie horror flicks don't look quite so dumb)

I moved slowly past each of the two empty bedrooms. I made a quick glance in each. If someone was hiding, I definitely wouldn't have seen them with the cursory look I paid to each, but I felt a slight reassurance that I had indeed looked in each room.

I glanced into the bathroom at the end of the hall. Empty (I didn't check behind the shower curtain because I was too scared).

I entered my bedroom. Empty.

I went into my attached bathroom. Empty.

I peered into my attached huge, dark walk-in closet. Empty.

I even had the guts to open the glass door of my shower. Empty.

A slight sigh of relief escaped from my tense lungs.

I set down the hammer, cleared 911 from my phone and went back downstairs to the TV.

Thoughts from every horror movie I'd ever seen (including trailers) flitted through my mind for the next 10 minutes.

I tried to think of some mechanical reason why the lid would pop open....Pressure differential, spring/switch failure, imbalance in the load...Nothing made sense.

because I really am just a little girl at heart when I'm scared, I called my mom. She told me to call the ear doctor and have him come and look the place over. Then, she said that I probably just tossed the soap in on top of my clothes and forgot to shut the door, but I was SURE I had closed it.

I went to bed scared and alone.

This morning as I was in a rush to get ready I was doing 10 things at once. Just as I was about to run out of the door I thought that I should rotate the next load of laundry. I entered the laundry room and what I saw almost made me laugh out loud.

I'd started the load, but forgot to put in my clothes or shut the lid. It was sitting there exactly like last night: open, full of water, silently laughing at me and my ridiculous panic attack.

What a nerd, huh?

Overactive Climate Control

Right now my office is about 80 degrees. Its only 50 degrees outside, but for some reason my office is SWELTERING. Is management trying to put me back to sleep?!?!?

Great News

I got accepted to Stanford last night

and

I'm torn.

I don't really know if I'm happy about it or not. I know that if I'd been rejected I would have been really pissed off and secretly doubted myself.

I just don't have the same elation I experienced last time.

Two years ago I walked out to my mail box with butterflies in my stomach. It felt like I had waited forever and heard back from every other school. But not Stanford. The #2 school in the country. The real test of how I stack up, not only to other undergrads at my school, but undergrads all over the country. Because I am perhaps the world's most competitive little thing on the planet, this was a big deal to me.

As I opened it I caught a glimpse of a circular seal with a lone pine tree in the middle. Yikes.

For a moment I just stared at the white envelope.

Tentatively, I opened the seal.

The first word of the first paragraph of the first page was this: "Congratulations"

Waves of relief and reassuring self confidence washed over me.

I immediately hopped in my car and sped over to Derek's house. As I climbed the steps I pretended to be depressed. I did my best to radiate gloom and embarrassment. He opened the door and I was working up eyes full of tears. I announced that I had been rejected. For a moment I had him, but, knowing me as well as he did, he said, "No you didn't" and I couldn't hold it in, I ran to him, jumped into his arms and we spun around the front room of his little house.

I was so happy.

This is different.

I'm still reaffirmed, but I'm pretty sure I can't go, which is depressing. They didn't offer me any financial aid and they probably won't. There are a million kids who want to get into the program who are willing to pay that they don't mind letting me go.

I don't even really want to take a trip out there for their grad admit day because I know I'll fall in love with the campus and the professors and the program all over again and be tempted to just go throw caution to the wind and go there.

Plus there's the ear doctor.

When I told him last night I could almost feel the effort he had to put into saying congratulations.

UGH.

Stormy Weather

Right now a big storm is rolling into Boulder.

The sky is flat, drab gray.

The leafless tress whip violently in the cruel winds that precede the imminent weather change.

And I like it.

Sick

I can hear my manager clipping his fingernails through my office wall. Gross. Do that kind of thing at home.

Who does that?

My sister drove over to Colorado to see me this weekend. She had everything packed up in her little green civic, picked up Sarah's sister to drive with her and then called me. Her first words were, "ok, we're all packed up, how to we get there?"

Who doesn't plan ahead, get directions, at least have a vague idea of how to get to the end of an 8 hour road trip? Only my sister.

Saturday morning I woke up early and went to the grocery store. While I was at the store Mags woke up and wandered down to the TV and flipped it on. All of the sudden, the doorbell rang. She was instantly freaked out. She was torn because she was pretty sure that no one should be coming to my house that early on a Saturday morning. After a minute or two she worked up the courage to go and peep out my window. No one was there. She opened the door and found that the ear doctor had left us a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. From that point on Maggie's heart had been won.

Whose emotions are easily bought with a white and green striped box full of sugary treats? That'd be my sister.

Saturday afternoon Mags and I were chillin at my house after going to the movies. The ear doctor was on his way over to meet her. This is the first time he'd met anyone from my family. They met and things went just fine. The three of us were sitting on the fouton and Mags looked over and the ear doctor and said, "You have a lot of arm hair."

Who makes a comment like that to someone who might be feeling a little awkward in a potentially intimidating situation? Only my cute little sister.

Sunday my sister could only stay to the first hour of church, so she had to leave in the middle. We were almost out the door when she realized that she hadn't said goodbye to the ear doctor. She turned, ran back into the building and met up with him. There was a momentary pause and then she just threw her arms around his neck. They said goodbye and I walked her out to her car. When we were out of earshot, she said, "was the hug ok?"

Who asks if giving your sister's boyfriend a hug goodbye is ok or not? Only my precious little sister.

The weekend

So my little sister is driving over from Utah to see me this weekend.

I am STOKED.

This will be the first time she meets the ear doctor.

Last night over dinner he confessed a tiny bit of nervousness over meeting her. In an effort to feel more prepared he asked me what she was like.

How do you describe someone that you've known your whole life? Someone's whose faults are endearing to you....so much so that you cease to see them as faults and think of them as critical character traits that make them who they are?

I started out by saying that she is SO much different from me. She is so...good. I don't think I've ever heard her say something mean about someone (except her high school enemy, Andrew). She always sees the best in people. I am prone to being catty and meanspirited at times, but Maggie...never.

The next thing that came to my mind was to say that she thinks I'm funny. Except when I'm poking her with a stick for 2 hours...and even then I have a sneaking suspicion that she thought it was funny (deep down).

Next, I thought she's not good at handling change. She gets flustered when she has to make a choice.

She likes plans. She likes making plans. She likes sticking to plans. She needs plans.

She's a loyal friend.

She's just plain beautiful.

That's why I'm excited to see her this weekend. She's great!